146 Hilarious Teacher Jokes That Will Break the Ice in Your Classroom

Ever been in a classroom where lectures are tedious and you have some great teacher jokes in mind for entertainment?

We’ve all had classes that lasted longer than an hour, and your eyes are drawn to the clock every second to see how much time is left before the session ends.

Instead, try some amusing teacher and student jokes as an ice breaker during a lecture if you are starting to feel tired.

Always keep in mind that your teacher jokes should not cross the border of respect and dignity for your instructors. After all, they are like our second set of parents, preparing us for the real world.

If you’re looking for some amazing ideas, a couple are given below.

Best Teacher Jokes

There are several options on the topic of best teacher jokes. I informed the instructor, “I don’t think I deserved a zero for this exam,” which is one of the finest jokes about teachers and students.

Why does the geography teacher always carry a globe?
It means the world to her!

A teacher was asked to fill out a special questionnaire for the state.
One question said, “Give two reasons for entering the teaching profession.”
The teacher wrote: “July and August.”

Teacher: If I had 6 oranges in one hand and 7 apples in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands!

I asked my teacher for advice when taking my maths exam and he said that you should always read through the paper first.
That’s the last time I listen to him. I was halfway through my horoscope when I heard, “Okay, pencils down.”

Teacher: Why were you late?
Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!

What do you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?
Keep trying until you get a reaction.

What Do You Call a Music Teacher with Problems?
A very trebled man.

Why Wasn’t the Geometry Teacher at School?
Because they sprained their angle!

If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower, then what do teachers come on?
The scholar ships.

Who is a teacher’s best friend at school?
The princi-PAL.

What’s the Difference Between a Teacher and a Large Pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, “Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude…?”
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, “I guess you’d be eating alone.”

What do you get when you cross a teacher with a calculator?
Someone you can always count on.

Why was the student standing in front of his teacher in the hallway?
She told him to go to the front of the line!

I told teacher, “I don’t think I deserved a zero for this exam.”
She said, “I agree, but I couldn’t give you any less.”

Why wouldn’t the teacher allow her students to say 288 in class?
Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)

Funny Teacher Jokes

What is the distinction between a cat and a comma? One of them has claws on the ends of its paws. Another example is a pause after a clause. This is a good one for the category of funny teacher jokes.

Teacher: Give a a sentence beginning with “I”.
Student: I is….
Teacher: Stop there, you need to begin with “I am”. Student: Okay…I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

What is the difference between a Teacher and a Train?
The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”

Why Do Teachers Fart in Class?
Because they’re not private tooters.

My teacher pointed his ruler at me and said, at the end of this ruler there is an idiot. I got in trouble after asking which end.

How did the teacher make the first day of school fly by?
She threw a clock!

What’s a Math Teacher’s Favorite Sum?
Summer!

Why don’t they let giraffes teach elementary school?
They can only teach in High School.

If a teacher asks you, if you have any questions. She really means if you have any questions on the subject they are teaching. So, if she is teaching about Geography, you cannot ask her if “Puzzles” is a good name for a cat.

Why did the teacher only allow measuring tape in the classroom?
She wanted to be the only ruler.

Why Was the Cross-Eyed Teacher Fired?
Because they couldn’t control their pupils.

Teacher: “Jimmy, do you have a question?”
Jimmy: “No no…I am just holding up my hand waiting for someone to give ma high-five!”

What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
Lots of blood tests.

Why did the Cyclops teacher have such an easy day of school?
He only had one pupil.

Why Do Chemistry Professors Enjoy Teaching about Ammonia?
Because it’s basic material.

I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn’t get me anywhere.
Did I have a smug look on my face later on in life when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive through.

Cheesy Teacher Jokes

Cheesy teacher jokes work great to fool your instructor. It is preferable to design your own and implement it. You never know, this may improve your popularity.

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because his class was so bright!

Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.

What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!

You know what’s odd?
Every other number!

Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.

Why are seagulls called seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

Why did the teacher marry the janitor?
Because he swept her off her feet!

On the first day of school, what did the teacher say was her three favourite words were?
June, July and August.

What pencil did Shakespeare write with?
2B

What is 5Q + 5Q?
10Q and you are welcome.

English Teacher Jokes

When you connect a Computer Scientist with an English instructor, what do you get? It’s a programmar. Isn’t this perfect for the theme of English teacher jokes and impressing your teacher?

How do you comfort a grammar teacher?
Say… “They’re, there, their.”

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can’t end a sentence with a proposition.

When in class, my teacher called me and said, “Name 2 pronouns.”
Alarmed, I said, “Who, me?”

My English teacher used to quote lord of the rings to us
She used to say “you shall not pass”

What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?
Instagrammar.

The English teacher wished the class good luck before the poetry test.
She said, “Metaphors be with you!”

One day, I asked my English Teacher, “Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H …in Hour, Honour. …etc. …??????
My English Teacher said, ” We are not ignoring them; they’re considered silent “……. (I was even more confused …..?????)
During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ….!!!!!!!
My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
I replied, “sir, I thought ‘H’ was silent.

English Class Teacher: “One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?”
Student: “Future impossible tense.”

How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both give out sentences. And they both judge you standing there.

English teachers never write students off.

English teacher: Give me the opposite of this sentence: “Children in the dark make mistakes.”
Student: “Mistakes in the dark make children.”
Teacher: Get out.

I think my English teacher is a dinosaur
Because he said he is a walking thesaurus

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars.
5 minutes before the bell, Bob handed in a blank sheet of paper. “Bob!” yelled the teacher. “You’ve done nothing. Why?”
“Because if I had a million dollars, that’s exactly what I would do.”

How do you tell the difference between a math teacher and an English teacher?
Ask them to define “hyperbolic”.

What do you get when you cross a Software Engineer with an English teacher?
A programmar.

Why did Jeffrey Epstein’s English teacher fail him?
Because he never finished his sentences…

My English teacher assigned me 10 stories to go through…
so I went sky diving. I went through 10 stories in 2 seconds!

Math Teacher Jokes

Math teacher jokes are difficult to come up with since they must be correct. What type of math do swimmers prefer over all others? Dive-ision! This is a fantastic alternative.

Where Does a Math Teacher Eat Dinner?
At a multiplication table!

How Does a Math Professor Propose to His Fiancé?
With a polynomial ring!

What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.

What Kind of Food Do Math Teachers Eat?
Square meals.

What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?
Arithma-sticks.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi

Which class was the caterpillar excited about teaching in school?
Mothematics.

How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.

Where does the geometry teacher send students when they complain of being cold?
Into the corner where it’s ninety degrees.

My math teacher asked me why I was doing my sums on the floor.
I said, “You told us to do them without using tables.”

Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.

Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!

Math teachers have too many problems.

Why did the algebra teacher go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?
To protect himself from mathema-ticks.

What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.

What Does a Math Teacher Do about Constipation?
He works it out with a pencil.

Which U.S. state has the most algebra teachers?
Mathachussets.

What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.

History Teacher Jokes

Although history might be tiresome, but have you heard any history teacher jokes? “I’m certain that all history lecturers are necromancers,” one of the funniest jokes goes. They are just interested in the departed.

What is the social studies teacher’s favorite thing to do?
Tell his-story!

Student: But history is so boring!
Teacher: Well, if you don’t do better you’ll be retaking it next year.
Student: What??
Teacher: I told you, those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it!

I’m pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.

When I wrote the history of cheese for our term paper in school, our History teacher said it was grate.

I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now. They both hated vandals and goths.

My girlfriend is a history teacher. It’s a good job but I have to dump her.
She won’t stop bringing up the past.

When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon’s origin, she replied, “Course I can!”

A history teacher has a class of 20 blondes. He asks to the class:
Can any one of you show me where America is on the map?
Nancy gets up, walks to the map and puts her finger exactly where America is.
Excellent, says the teacher. Now can anyone tell me who discovered America?
All other 19 blondes raise their arms and shout “Nancy!!”

While teaching about the Mongol Empire in History class, our teacher told us, “If anyone Khan, Genghis Khan.”

When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, “The Past.”

When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, “I have Noah idea!”

My least favorite teacher in the school is the History teacher. Whenever she takes a class on Ancient History, she tends to Babylon.

My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.

One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.

When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein’s origin and history, he said, “I am relatively aware of it.”

I used to be a history teacher but I quit…
I just couldn’t see a future in it.

History Teacher: “Why are the Middle ages called the dark ages?”
John: “Because there were so many nights in them.”

One Liner Teacher Jokes

What if you couldn’t stop giggling at teacher jokes one-liners? Teachers who take attendance in class, for example, are absent-minded, according to jokes. Once upon a time, a hen counted her eggs. She was a mathemachicken, as the name implies.

Teachers always tell us to follow our dreams…. But yet they don’t let us sleep in class.

Why did the students like their trigonometry teacher?
He never gave homework assignments.

Time Is a Great Teacher…
Unfortunately it kills all its students.

What is the favorite thing to do for a teacher during beach holiday?
Testing the water.

What are ten things a teacher can always count on?
Their fingers.

My teacher told me I failed my exam.
I told them they failed to educate me.

Why Did the Teacher Jump into a Lake?
To test the waters!

What’s a Teacher’s Favorite Nation?
Expla-nation.

My teacher forgot to take the register today.
She’s absent-minded.

What Do You Call a Teacher Without Students?
Happy.

I got voted “Least Likely To Succeed” by my high school class.
I hate being a teacher.

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher.

Teacher Jokes for Adults

Teacher jokes for adults can provide enjoyment for high school students. Be cautious while telling dirty teacher jokes, as it may result in punishment if the instructor is really tough.

Teachers deserve a lot of credit.
Of course, if we paid them more they wouldn’t need so much credit, but whatever.

The teacher writes on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months.”
Teacher: “How should I correct this sentence?”
Little Johnny: “Get yourself a new boyfriend.”

Dear Students,
I know when you are texting in class. No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.

Have you ever heard of students having sex with their professor to pass an exam?
This is a real penetration test.

Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy: “I saw a strap of your bra.”
Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs…”
Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”
Boy: “I saw both straps of your bra.”
Teacher: “Get out! Don’t come to class for next 1 month.”
The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class.
Teacher: “Why are you going out?”
Johnny: “With what I saw I think my school days are over.”

I was seduced by my English teacher. She made me have sex with her
Did you notice the above sentence didn’t end with a period?
Well, the teacher is due next month.

The moral of breaking bad:
Pay teachers more money!

Teacher: Make an opposite of this sentence: ‘Kids in the dark usually make errors.’
Little Johnny: Errors in the dark usually make children.

The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class.
Teacher: “What do you like best about it, class? Let’s start with you, Robert.”
Mike: “The artwork!”
Teacher: “Very good. And you, Johnny?”
Johnny: “Her boobs!”
Teacher: “Johnny, get out! Go stand in the hall”…”And you, Harry?”
Harry: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving”

My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.
She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

I am dating an English teacher who keeps correcting my grammar during sex.
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.

If we’re going to arm the teachers…
I hope they give the librarians silencers.

Teacher: And therefore, sperm cells are made up of glucose.
Student: So you’re saying that sperm has sugar in it?
Teacher: Technically. Yes.
Student: But it doesn’t even taste like that…
Teacher: what?
Student: what?

After an exam the teacher said to me, “I hope I didn’t see you looking at John’s answers.”
I said, “I hope so too.”

Teacher Jokes for Kids

Teacher jokes for kids might help them unwind after a long day of studying. What was the purpose of the instructor’s sunglasses? Since his class was so bright! This is a fantastic example in this area.

Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what do you get?
Student: A new bike.

Why did the teacher turn the lights on?
Because her class was so dim.

What’s one of the first things ant teachers do in the morning?
Lead the class with the national anthum.

Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!

Teacher: Answer my question at once. What is 7 plus 2?
Student: At once!

Teacher: Why are you late, Johnny?
Johnny: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with you being late?
Johnny: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!”

What did the student say when the teacher asked why his paper only had a small line drawn on it?
“I drew a blank.”

What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

Which grade school teachers have the greenest thumbs?
The kinderGARDEN teachers.

Why did the teacher put the chalk in front of a TV?
She didn’t like the chalk bored.

During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.
Teacher tries to be funny: “Johnny, don’t swallow me.”
Little Johnny: “Don’t worry, teacher, I don’t eat pork.”

Student and Teacher Jokes

A link between a student and a teacher should be more like that of friends than that of a child and an adult. Teacher and student jokes in english may be a terrific way to establish a nice relationship with your teacher.

Teacher: Jimmy, you know you can’t sleep in my class.
Student: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

Teacher: Why have you got cotton in your ears? Do you have an infection?
Student: Well, you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?
Student: To be honest, not really.

Chemistry teacher: “Did you know protons have mass?”
Student: “I didn’t even know protons were Catholic.”

Teacher: Didn’t I just tell you to stand at the end of the line?
Student: Well, I tried, but there was someone there already.

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Student: Life imprisonment!

Teacher: What is the longest word in the English language?
Student: Smiles
Teacher: Why?
Student: Because there is a “mile” before the first and the last letter.

Teacher: What are the seasons?
Student: Salt, pepper, ginger …

Teacher: What is the shortest month?
Student: May, it only has three letters.

Student: Can I do something to help my grade.
Teacher: well…it is May.
Student: I am sorry, MAY I do something to help my grade.

Student: Would you punish me for something I did not do?
Teacher: Of course I would not do that.
Student: Great, because I did not do my homework.

Final Thoughts on Teacher Jokes

Teacher-student jokes may be really useful when class becomes tedious and you are at a loss for what to do.

Teacher jokes may be a terrific way to brighten any drowsy kid’s attitude and get them to pay attention in class. We might claim that teacher jokes are more of a breather in otherwise monotonous lectures.

A small number of freshmen can cause you to focus on the lecture that will follow the jokes.

You must ensure that the jokes do not exceed their tolerance levels. In other words, none of the jokes should insult or damage your teacher’s sensibilities. You don’t have to get too personal.

Aside from that, everything is looking up. You should form a relationship with your instructor so that she feels more like a friend who advises you rather than a severe teacher whose sole goal is to make your study.

Be the entertaining instructor and lighten the mood in the classroom with these A+ teacher and student jokes in any subject.