152 Hilarious Boss Jokes to Tell around the Office

You’re seeking for amusing boss jokes to share with your coworkers? If so, you’ve come to the correct spot.

Rather than allowing the 40-hour workday get to you, we thought you would appreciate these boss jokes to brighten your mood in the middle of the week. ‎

These office jokes are so amusing that they’ll brighten your day — or, at the at least, distract you from whatever you’re concentrating on for a few minutes.

Plus, when your children ask what you did this morning, you can inform them you managed to inject some levity into your workweek. ‎

If any of these jokes make you chuckle, share them with a coworker who might benefit from them as well. So let’s get started.

Best Boss Jokes

The best boss jokes are ones that make your workday a bit more amusing. You’re in luck, since we’ve compiled a fantastic compilation of some of the finest boss jokes below. ‎

My boss told me to have a good day.
So, I went home!

My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.

Boss makes a dollar; I make a dime.
It’s just another day at the United States Bureau of Engraving and Printing.

The boss asks what is my asset?
It’s my eyes.

The cop wanted to retire from his job as a traffic officer.
His boss gave him the green light.

“I love my job!” exclaimed the farmer. “All you do is boss me around all day!” complained one of his sheep. “What did you say?” challenged the farmer. The sheep glared back and growled…
“You herd me.”

I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise….
My boss asked “what companies?”
Gas, water and electricity company.

Told my boss I would leave my job because they weren’t giving me sufficient training.
“Well, you know where the door is,” he said.
I said, “Actually no, I don’t.”

My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”
I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”

My new boss told me that he expects me to be on call 24/7.
But I don’t really mind as the 24th of July is ages away.

“And remember,” said the boss, “there’s no I in TEAM!”
“Yeah,” muttered one of the peons, “and there’s not much sign of U in it either.”

Harry Potter could be a great Mafia boss.
He always catches the snitch.

Told my Boss that I have Corona.
He thought I was talking about the Virus and gave me paid leave for 2 Months. More beer for me, I guess!

Boss: “You’ve got to find a way to make fewer mistakes on the job”
Worker: “Ok, how about I come in later in the morning?”

What do you call the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm?
The CIEIO

Boss: Can you work this weekend?
Me: Yeah, no worries but I’ll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends.

Boss: What time will you get here?
Me: Monday.

My boss calls me “The computer”
Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.

Boss: Why should we hire you as a reverse psychologist?
Me: You shouldn’t

Funny Boss Jokes

Sometimes you need funny boss jokes to share with employees to help up the spirits of the entire organization. When the stress of work gets the best of us, having a stash of jokes about your boss on hand may help raise the mood and improve morale. ‎

My boss said he races boats
So, I said, “Wow, you must be a fast swimmer!”

I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, clean your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.

What is the best way to criticize your boss?
Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.

As a security guard, my Boss said my job is to watch the office
I’m on season 6 so far, and not sure what this has to do with security.

I came out of the closet to my boss and was fired on the spot
He’s still asking how I got in his closet.

I got fired from my job at the sperm bank
My boss didn’t like me saying “Get a load of this guy!” whenever someone walked in the door

I was in a taxi when the driver said “I love my job. I am my own boss; nobody tells me what to do”
I then told him to turn right.

My boss said I was going to see a big increase on my Pay slip this month…
… He increased the font size.

Just saved my boss from a murder.
I went home early.

a guy got an Interview for a job with EA
Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
Boss: welcome on board

A boss tells a blonde applicant, “I’ll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months I’ll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?”
Blonde: “In three months.”

After an altercation with my boss, I decided to leave my job at the helium factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

Dan Schneider is the final boss of Nickelodeon All Star Brawl
As Master Foot.

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick…
Mostly because his name is Steve…

A hooker starts a job at an Amazon warehouse, and her bosses give her bonus starting pay.
She had previous package handling experience.

Testing products on animals
Guy: We need to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: Why? Shampoo companies do that all the time.
Guy: Ya. But we make hammers.

I just heard my boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch that might be me.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate — all at once!

A guy shows up late for work
The boss yells “You should have been here at 8:30!”
He replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I excel at it.
Boss: was this a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word!

I asked my boss “what’s the difference between your wife and tomorrow?”
“I’m not coming in tomorrow”

Hilarious Boss Jokes

If you consider these hilarious boss jokes and puns amusing, you’re in good company! Share away these jokes and have fun.

Boss: “You called in sick yesterday and said you had the Coronavirus. You can’t be here until you get tested”
Me: “I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn’t coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus”

I called work this morning and whispered, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. I have a wee cough.” He exclaimed, “You have a wee cough!?”
I said, “Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!”

Why did the can crusher quit her job?
Because it was so-da pressing.

I got fired from my job as a massage therapist
My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way.

I phoned my boss to say I was sick
He said: “How sick are you?”
I said: “Well, I’m in bed with my sister”

“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss.
“Just pop it in the corner,” he said.
It took me three hours.

My boss is so rich
My boss is so rich he even bought a kid for his dog to play with.

Last day of work…(nsfw)
I called my boss and asked him “What’s the difference between this morning and your daughter?” Just as he was about to reply I cut him off and said “I’m not coming in this morning.”

At my boss’s funeral kneeling and whispering at the coffin
“Who’s thinking outside the box now Gary?”

My boss called me this morning.
Boss: Where the f*** are you? It’s 8:30 and you were supposed to start at 8.
Me: Relax, I’m in my office.
Boss: Quit the shit! I’m standing in your office.
Me: Oh, sorry mate, I forgot to tell you about my new job.

Got promoted at the bakery after my overweight boss died
I’ve got some big chouxs to fill

My boss: “You’re fired.”
Me: *Turns in gun and badge*
My boss: “You’re a waiter, where did you get those”

Why doesn’t Superman need a boss?
He already has supervision.

A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, “What’s wrong?”
She says, “My mom died.”
He told her to go home, but she said, “No, I’ll be fine.”
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, “What’s wrong?”
She replies, “I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!”

I quit my job after my boss started paying me in vegetables.
I couldn’t live off of that celery.

The boss caught an employee drinking at work.
He said: -“You can’t drink while you’re working!”.
The employee replied: -“But I’m not working”.
They both laughed a lot, and he got fired.

Sheep
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, “All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!”
“Wait, I only have 48 sheep!” he replied.
“I know,” said the dog, “but I rounded them up.”‎

Good Boss Jokes

Do you want to get to know your new boss? If that’s the case, here are some jokes to tell your boss. Gather your courage before you launch these good boss jokes at him! ‎

My boss sends me an email.
Boss: “Send me a joke”
Me: “I am working right now!”
Boss: “That was a great one! Send me another one!”

I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today
He said Dream on. I think that was really nice of him.

My boss accused me of stealing, and fired me from my job at the furniture store.
But I regret nothing.
Sometimes you have to take a stand.

At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak and my boss said, “I like it well done!”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

My boss told me he’s not going to pay me if I keep having erections at work
I told him that’s my hard-earned money

The boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that…

My boss said he’d give me a bonus if I did an impression of a frog.
I jumped at the opportunity.

I quit my job to start a cloning business and it’s been great,
I love being my own boss.

My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke.
So, I put my paycheck as the first slide.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

My boss asked me how good I was at making spreadsheets.
I told him I Excel at it.

My boss arrived at work with a brand-new Ferrari.
Me: “wow, that is an amazing car”
Boss: “if you work hard, put in the hours, and strive for excellence, I can buy myself another one next year!”

Tact is defined as the ability to tell your boss to go to hell and have him looking forward to the trip.

Clean Boss Jokes

Is your day at work dull and monotonous? If this is the case, then it is time to liven things up with some clean boss jokes. Here are a few examples for you.

The boss frowns on anyone yelling: “Hey Weirdo!” He says too many people look up from their work.

If our boss makes a mistake, it is our mistake.

Me: I’m gonna need the rest of the day off
Boss: Why?
Me: I hate being here

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, ‘I don’t know what a potato clock is’ The man said, ‘me neither but I’m starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

My boss had the heart of a child:)
In a jar. On his desk

Bosses are like seagulls. They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.

You say you value your employee
But my paycheck determined that was a lie.

I’d tell my boss to go jump in a lake, but he’d probably just delegate that to me too.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The man says, “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”‎

You know what a clean desk is a sign of?
A cluttered desk drawer.

You know what job I could really see myself doing?
A mirror inspector.

I got a job at a paperless office.
Everything was great until I needed to use the bathroom.

Dirty Boss Jokes

Let us now go through some bad boss jokes. To be clear, some bosses do not have the best sense of humor. So, before you start telling dirty boss jokes, it is essential to know your boss well enough. ‎

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but “Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn’t even have enough time to undressed himself.” So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, “The Bastard used coins I’m still picking and he is still f*cking!”

A Chinese man rings his boss and says: Me sick I can’t come to work.
The Boss says: “when I am sick, I fuck my wife … try that?”
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back and says: “Me better now you got a nice house!”

How is Christmas like your job?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked, “Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!”
“Oh no, sir, I sure haven’t,” replied the bartender.
The boss replied, “Good, then you fire her!”

Boss: “Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of downsizing. Knock! Knock!”
Employee: “Who’s there?”
Boss: “Not you anymore!”

So, we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said “a little gas never killed anyone

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy’s boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, “I’m sick” His boss replies, “you don’t sound sick” The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone

A French maid asks the wife who employs her, for a pay raise.
The wife became very angry about this and decided to talk to her about this raise.
She asked, “Now Anna, why do you think you should get a pay increase?” “Well, madam, there are three reasons why I should. The 1st is that I iron clothes better than you.”
The wife says, “Who said you iron better than me?”
“Your husband said so. The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.”
The wife says, “That’s a lie, who said you were a better cook than me?”
“Well, your husband said that.”
The wife, increasingly agitated says, “Oh, he did, did he?”
“Yes he did. And the third reason is that I am better than you in bed.”
The wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth, asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”
“No Madam, the gardener did.”
“Ok, so how much do you want for that raise?”

Short Boss Jokes

Are you looking for short boss jokes? We’ve created a list of short boss jokes just for you, so you can laugh a little. Have a good time showing these to your employer. ‎

What did the computer programmer talk to his boss about?
Arrays.

A man walks into the bar…
The bartender: “Hi Dave!”
The boss faints.

My boss said my math skills are average.
That’s just mean.

My boss wanted me to put some new fuses in a car.
I refused.

My boss told me to attach two pieces of wood together.
Totally nailed it.

I work for a window cleaning firm.
My boss often does spot checks.

I told my boss that I was tired of being a human cannonball.
Then he fired me.

Boss, I left a huge masonry order on your desk.
When you see it, you’ll ship bricks?

The decorator got wallpaper on himself instead of the wall.
His boss tore a strip off him.

I gave my boss some maracas for Christmas.
He kept talking about how he wants to shake things up.

Did you hear about the guy who fell in a vat of gum at the bubblegum factory?
His boss chewed him out.

My boss doesn’t tolerate any beards or mustaches.
He’s a real shave driver.

Boss Jokes One Liners

The boss jokes don’t have to be very clever. They can be basic one-liners that are nevertheless funny enough to make everyone chuckle. Here are some boss jokes one liners that will make you laugh out loud! ‎

My boss gets really annoyed when I call him “Dick”.

My boss doesn’t believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.

My boss is very easygoing. He told me not to think of him as the boss, rather, think of him as a friend who is never wrong.”

When your boss cracks a joke and you laugh like “ahahahahagivemaraisehahaha”

Don’t stand around doing nothing. People will think you’re the boss.

My boss asked me to roundup 17 employees pronto. So, I said, “20.”

Got a new boss this week and I’m using suck up muscles I’d forgotten I had.

Your boss walks in so you pick up the nearest thing to make it look like you’re working

My boss denied my time-off request. But the flight is booked. So, I hope she figures something out.

I reached the office this morning and the boss stormed up to me and said ‘you missed work yesterday, didn’t you?’. I said ‘No, not particularly.’.

My boss told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.

To make a long story short, there’s nothing like having a boss walk in.

“No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.”

A power struggle with your boss is when she has the power and you have the struggle.

Wasn’t easy being the big boss. There was always someone trying to muscle in on your surf and turf.

I’m not going back to work until my boss takes back what he said…
You’re fired

The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

Funniest Boss Jokes

Have you already had a good time with the humorous boss jokes we shared with you? We’ve gathered even more of the funniest boss jokes for you to enjoy. ‎

My boss was giving a presentation and no one was asking questions
So, my boss says:
“The person who asks the first question will get a raise, the second will get a promotion, and the third will get a million dollar”
So, I raised my hand and said “I have three questions”

Boss: Why don’t you answer it?
Me: I’ll let it ring for a while. That way they’ll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER IT GODDAMMIT!
Me: 911, what’s the emergency?

Boss: Why do you….
Me: *pssst*
Boss: What is your biggest weakn…
Me: *pssssssst*
Boss: (whispering) you’re hired, welcome to the library!

Me: Can I leave work early?
Boss: Only if you make up the time.
Me: Ok, 45 past 60.

I miss the times when I was working at the zoo
My boss fired me just because I left the lions gate open. I mean who would steal a lion?

My boss pulled me into his office. He sighed and said, “Look…when it comes to drinking on the job, I haven’t got much tolerance.”
“That’s okay,” I replied, “I was a rookie once too.”

What do your boss and a slinky have in common?
They’re both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.

They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
My boss still didn’t think a spacesuit was “appropriate work attire”.

I called my boss this morning.
“I won’t be coming in today,” I said. “My legs aren’t working properly.”
“What kind of excuse is that?” He asked.
I replied, “A lame excuse.”

My boss called me and said, “Why didn’t you call me back when you said you would 3 hours ago?!”
I told him, “When did I say that…? I don’t recall…”

Man says to his boss, “Can we talk? I have a problem.”
Boss: “Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!”
Man: “Ok, I have a serious drinking opportunity.”

My boss told us that a customer complained about an employee with bad posture.
I have hunch it was me.

Bosses are like legs.
When they get to the top, they become asses.

A man was at a job interview
The boss asked, how do you perform under pressure?
The man said, Well I try my hardest but I always end up singing “Ice Ice Baby”

My boss asked me why I left a bucket of fried chicken on his doorstep
I told him I was tendering my resignation

My boss said, “You can have a week off if you want to.”
I replied, “And can I have two weeks off if I want three?”

I was having dinner at my boss’s house.
His wife said “How many potatoes would you like?”
I said “Just one please.”
She said “Oh come on, don’t be so polite!”
I said “Ok. Just one, you ugly cow.”

Boss: “Hey, why haven’t you submitted the files yet?”
Me: “The corona thing was really hard and stressful.”
Boss: “It is 2049, get the job done!”

Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays?
Me: It’s my weekend immune system.

I said to my boss the other day, “I need to leave early today, I’m going to be a father!”
“Of course,”, he replied. “Take the afternoon off.”
When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
“Well, how’d it go? Is it a boy or a girl?”
“I dunno”, I said, “I’ll tell you in nine months.”

Employee Boss Jokes

It never hurts to keep a few boss employee jokes on hand at work. These dumb boss jokes can help you alleviate tension, ease an unpleasant situation, or just break the ice with your new employer. ‎

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a day off.

Boss: This is the third time you’ve been late to work this week.
Boss: This is the third time you’ve been late to work this week. Do you know what that means?
Me: It’s Wednesday?

Boss to employees: ‘We will continue to have these meetings every single day until I work out why no work is being done’!

A small joke I remembered
Boss: if I find you sleeping on the job one more time, you’re fired!
Employee: sorry boss
Boss: ok, now go and do the sheep inventory
Employee: oh no

I don’t always ask my employees how they are. But when I do, I walk away before they can answer.

I remember my boss once pointed to my desk which was a mess…
He said that a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind. He wasn’t too happy when I pointed out that his desk was empty.

I always tell new hires:
“Don’t think of me as your boss. Think of me as a friend that can fire you. “

A boss and his employee are discussing the testing of their products
Employee: we have got to stop testing our products on animals
Boss: oh yeah? Other companies do it all the time, so why shouldn’t we?
Employee: yeah, that’s good and all but we make hammers

An employee asks his boss, “Can I have two weeks off for Christmas?” His boss replied, “It’s May…”, to which the employee responded,
“Oh, sorry. May I have two weeks off for Christmas?”

My resume? A list of things I hope future employers never ask me to do.

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture
I have a hunch; it’s going to be me.

My boss came to me at lunch,
Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to find you all morning!”
I shrugged and said, “Good employees are hard to find!”

Employee: Good morning, Boss. I cannot come to work today due to heavy rain. I am living on an island now.
Boss: In your application you put swimming as your hobbies. See you at work!

Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well, there is now! After you left yesterday saying that you had to go to your grandma’s funeral, she called the office looking for you.

An employee goes to see his supervisor.
“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
“Sorry, but we’re short-handed,”
the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says the employee. “I knew I could count on you!”

Final Thoughts on Boss Jokes

Office jokes and boss jokes are excellent ways to reap the advantages of comedy at work. Sharing a simple joke with a coworker makes work more fun and goes beyond simply passing the time. ‎

The connection between the employer and the employee is critical to the efficiency of the organization. What else could it be? A collection of amusing work jokes for whenever relationship breaks down. ‎

I all, what else can save the day when your dreadful boss gets all the credit for your efforts? Or keep your cool when they micromanage all you do? ‎

A serious workplace may absorb good energy from the surrounding surroundings. Contrary to common assumption, having fun is essential for improving mood, concentration, and performance in the long term. ‎

If you’re in need of a good chuckle, these office jokes are definitely what you were looking for. We’ve shared a selection of the finest boss jokes with you, and they’re so relevant that they’ll undoubtedly soften your thoughts and calm you down.