152 Hilarious Butt Jokes to Crack You Up

Who doesn’t like good butt jokes? Nothing beats a good dose of filthy comedy. Humor lifts the human soul, and everyone enjoys a good chuckle. Laughter allows us to see the bright side of life. It’s also a fantastic stress reliever.

Butts are regarded differently. Some see it as seductive, some as filthy, and we see the potential for comedy, therefore we listed and collated the finest butt jokes available. Regardless of your feelings towards butts, we’re confident you’ll appreciate them.

This collection of bum jokes will undoubtedly make you chuckle. Take your time reading these, and when you’re finished, share them with your friends for a good chuckle.

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Best Butt Jokes

Our favorite celebs had a few words about butts. Surprisingly, most of these bum jokes are very motivating. Here are some of those best butt jokes. ‎

Aiden’s the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he’ll kick your BUTT!

What did the left butt cheek say to the right?
Trump 2020

Buttsex is a lot like spinach
If you’re forced to have it as a child. You’ll never enjoy it as an adult.

WOULD YOU RATHER: Fight Mike Tyson or Lick an Elephants butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?

What is the difference between a detective company and a man with eyes on his butt?
One has a private eye, and the other has eyed privates

Yo mama is so stupid she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, ” I’ve got the power “

What do you use if you want a thicc and muscular butt in space?

You aka answer: Your Butt cheeks

[God creating spiders] God: make it have 8 legs
Angel: ok? bit excessive but ok
God: and 8 eyes
Angel: You need to calm down and li- God: give it a butt rope

Can I take a skin graft from my butt and put it on someone who isn’t related?
ass skin for a friend

Why did the butt let out a fart A: to wipe out humanity?

sometimes I look at my butt for a really really long time and suddenly it all becomes clear to me.

Why did the Buddhist pull a coin out of his butt?
Because change comes from within.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs ands or buts about it¨ and the other friend says¨Butt He is¨.

A teacher walked up to me and said how did we get butt cracks??I was like 4 so I said u had an earthquake on ur booty.
Bootylicious lol

Funny Butt Jokes

Tired of being the punchline to every joke? When your pals tease you, it may be both amusing and irritating at times. Why don’t you distract the attention by cracking some funny butt jokes yourself? Here are a few examples for you. ‎

Someone butt dialed me again yesterday.
It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

What did the dentist say to the butt?
That’s the largest cavity I’ve ever seen!

I was caught staring at a cute girl’s butt.
Harassment is a lot to me.

Do you know what’s a REAL pain in the butt?
An uncomfortable chair.

What would be the world without women?
Just pain in the butt.

Well, your ass may be grass…
Butt hay, what can you do?

What do you call a baguette up your butt?
A pain in the ass.

What do you use if you want a thick and muscular butt in space?

Why was Uranus always mad?
Because it was the butt of everyone’s jokes

Why do we have 2 butt cheeks?
Because they make a great asset.

When you swim in the creek, an eel bites your cheek.
That’s a moray.

If you cut your right butt cheek…
Are you left behind?

My boyfriend gave me a butt massage today but only focused on one cheek…
It was very half-assed.

Why was the kid not allowed to see the new pirate movie?
It shows a lot of booty.

Do you know what the difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is?
Depth perception

What do you call someone who can’t stop looking at other people’s butt?
A Crack Addict!

So, a bear and a rabbit are in field, the bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “does your poop stick to your fur?” And the rabbit replied, “no” and the bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

Hilarious Butt Jokes

Sure, booty jokes are amusing, but only under the appropriate conditions. So, before you crack these hilarious butt jokes and get smacked on the cheeks, consider the repercussions you are going to face. ‎

A little girl said to her mom “MOM MY BUTTS CRACKED KISS IT KISS IT” her mom said “sweetie SHUT UP IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THERE” then her daughter died cuz of her melodramaticness.”

Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat?

My kid got sunburned on only one of their butt cheeks.
My wife said I did a half-ass job applying sunscreen.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
the butt the butt
who the butt goes mooooo?

A man goes to the doctor with a frog on his head.
The doctor asks the man, “What can I help you with?”
To which the frog responds, “Well, it all started with a little lump on my butt.”

Q: What did the butt say to the face?
A: It farted

My honey farmer friend is a big fan of Kim Kardashian.
I guess booty is in the eye of the bee holder.

Why is your moms butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.

“Doctor, I think I have a serious issue. A piece of lettuce is sticking out of my butt!”
Doctor: I’m afraid that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Can I borrow your butt? Mine has a crack in it.

When is a butt not cracked in half?
When it’s a butt (w)hole.

When you say the word “poop” your mouth moves just like your butt-hole does when you poop.
The same is true for “explosive diarrhea”.

OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT, oh wait that’s always been there.

Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” …
Looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

I Put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it

My wife swiped our debit card on my butt crack.
She said, “Transaction denied, insufficient buns.”

hey you might want to look at ur butt cuz there’s something coming out of Uranus

What do you call Nikki Minaj’s butt crack?
Silicon Valley.

There was a woman, with me, sitting. I had to leave until she pointed at something, it was, my butt. I was confused until, it was her turn. Of, Truth or Dare.

Being a scarecrow isn’t for everyone.
Butt hay, it’s in my jeans.

Good Butt Jokes

Butts may be both filthy and attractive depending on how they’re dressed. In the context of having butts in all shapes and sizes, we’ve compiled a collection of good butt jokes that appeal to every butt in every shape and size. ‎

A group of butts is walking.
The smallest struggles to keep up.
“Sorry, I’m a little behind.”

A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his butt.
The doctors described his condition as stable.

Person: guess what?
Other person: what?
Person: Chicken Butt

I farted in front of my son.
He said, “That sounded like a duck!”
I told him, “That’s because I have a butt quack.”

Man walks in to the doctor He says” doctor I need a new butt mine has a crack in it” Doctor-how many time do I have to tell you!!!

How do we GET a butt: God made us like that and we can’t change it if you wanted to you have to die?

I think we can all come up with a better name for underwear.
Butt hat’s none of my business.

This one butt check said to the other one it’s really personal but it’s ok I’ll tell said Hey let’s go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint watch a movie and go upstairs in the room and get down.

If your butt hurts real bad put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.

One Liner Butt Jokes

Want to wow your pals with these arse jokes one liners? We’ve got some amusing rear-end puns and large bum jokes that you’ll want to share with your pals for a good laugh. ‎

You’ve officially hit rock bottom if you slap Dwayne Johnson’s butt.

I only trust people who are fond of big butts. They don’t lie.

Did the butt say anything to the face? It farted.

What do you call someone with two butts? Biased.

What do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-ère.

What is the name of the butt that kills people? An Assassin

What time do butts wake up? At the crack of dawn!!!

We can go into paradise where the sunshine strikes our virtuous smiles and shiny buttocks.

If we can get along right now, I imagined ourselves as a striking couple of grandiose buttocks.

Your beautiful butt is like golden orbs of sunshine that ever existed in this melancholic world.

We should go and built our own paradise where we can shake our booty all through the night.

I am amazed how the booty of the tiny fireflies shines along with your sweet gorgeous smiles.

Let me call the stars beneath the butt of moonlight so they can tell you how much I liked you.

Soon you can find a lover who will be yours and will stick with you forever like a pair of the butt.

If we will be the king and queen, the army will fight the intruders with their courageous butts.

Can you tell me which computer is the butt’s favorite? The Tushiba.

What makes milking parlors smell like butt? It’s all the dairy air.

What is the Australian method of cleaning their butts? Bidet, mate.

Short Butt Jokes

We’ve gone to the bottom of the barrel to collect these amusing jokes on butt for you. They are not half-assed in the least! Have fun telling your pals these short arse jokes. ‎

Is buttcheeks one word…
or should I spread them apart?

Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky

What do u call a 3 sum with a girl with aids?
Nut in the butt

I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.

What do you call a Latina with a flat butt?
Bottomless Margarita

I’m sorry, when I said “butter” I really meant “ghee”.
I should have clarified.

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt… IMAGINE

What did one butthole say to the other? I don’t know WHAT got into me last night!

Q: How much cum does a gay guy have
A: A butt load

my sister said that i need to stop with the audited butt:
I got it from her when i was born

Sister: I don’t want to do it butt… Me: no more butts, butts are to yuck to be in this sentence

What is the last thing that goes through a fly’s head when it hits the windshield? It’s butt.

Silly Butt Jokes

Butts may be as much fun as they are sexy. Who would have guessed that these two massive muscular mounds could be appealing? If you’re looking to throw some shade on your ass kisser coworker with some silly butt jokes, or if you just want to spread some positive vibes, this list can come in handy. ‎

One butt cheek said what to the other?
Between you and me it stinks in here.

What did one buttcheek say to the other?
Together we can stop this sh*t.

What is the purpose of duck’s feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.

After the cannibal dumped his girlfriend, what did he do?
He wipes his butt.

How do you describe a guy whose hand is up a horse’s butt?
An Amish Mechanic.

When a fly hits a windshield, what is the last thing that goes through its head?
It’s butt.

What makes milking parlors smell like butt?
It’s all the dairy air.

To wipe your butt, what type of math equation do you need to solve?

What is the difference between Butte and Butt?
One is the rear of an organism; the other is the rear of Montana.

Son: Dad I need a new butt. Dad: Why son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

Spinach and buttsex have a lot in common. If you were forced to have it as a child. You’ll never enjoy it as an adult.

A friend of mine got burned on his face and needed a skin graft, so I gave him tissue from my butt. A cheek for a cheek as I always say!

I’m considering becoming a proctologist who provides advice on people’s butts. Anything I can r*ctum mend?

There is a group of butts walking. Even the smallest struggles to keep up. “Sorry, I’m a little behind.”

Scientists have discovered a fossilized dinosaur butt. It must have been a megasaurus to have survived intact all that time.

Big Butt Jokes

Jokes about huge buttocks might be the most ridiculous. This collection contains both seductive and humorous fat arse jokes. Pick your favorites and share them with your friends. ‎

Your butt is so big you can slap it and ride the waves.

Your mum sunk in the pool Because she had a big butt

Your butt is bigger than Uranus

Are you wearing a diaper Because your butt looks so saggy?

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt? You are so butty – ful!

What do you call someone with a big butt?
The Thightanic

What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

your butt looks so big it’s bigger then Sam hill

Damn autocorrect!
My Wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked “Does this make my butt look big?”
I texted back “Noo!”
My phone autocorrected my response to “Moo!”
Please send help!

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your spouse’s cheek?
A golden opportunity.

The girl with the big bum and a lisp wasn’t at work today.
She must have called in thick.

Why do pirates like booty?
Because they like ’em thiccccccc with 7 Cs.

I only trust people who like big butts…
They cannot lie.

The Gluteus Maximus is the largest muscle of the body.
It’s a huge ass muscle.

I just can’t ever see myself putting anything up my own butt
So, I got a mirror.

An old husband tells his old wife: – “can’t feel anything in my butt” she says: – “are you serious?”
He says: – “I am deadass serious”

A geologist asked me if I like extremely high, steep hills with a flat top.
I said yeah, I like big buttes and I cannot lie.

Funniest Butt Jokes

Let us now go through some of the funniest butt jokes. If any of your friends has an interesting butt, make fun of them using these butt cheek jokes. They are going to love it for sure.

What is a pirate’s favourite letter?
It is clearly double D as they are mostly males who can’t stand a sunken chest and no booty.

I accidentally butt-dialed my ex last night.
I swear it’s the only booty call I’ve ever made.

What’s the difference between a wise guy and a butt sniffer?
One’s a smart fella, the other is a fart smella.

When you say poop, your mouth makes the same shape as your butt when you poop
The same is true with explosive diarrhea

The girl asked me to Netflix and chill, but I download all my movies illegally.
So, I was like na, more like pirate and booty.

Interspecies communication breakthrough!
I just sat on the toilet and realized my butt speaks fluent Humpback Whale!

Why did the Gluteus Maximus feel bullied?
He was the butt of many jokes.

I have these weird muscle spasms in my gluteus maximus,
I figured out from my doctor that everything was alright:
They said “Weird flex, butt okay.”

Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?
Ass skin for a friend.

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting cow who?
…chicken butt!

2 old people sitting on a bench one turns to the other and says my butt fell asleep the other says yep i heard it snore a couple of times

What happens when you shoot someone in the butt?
You give them a butt hole.

I got one of those fancy butt sprayers for my toilet, but it never works at night…
I guess I can only use it bidet.

Did you hear about the man who installed a window in his butt?
It was a pane in the ass.

REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! oh quin how was eating that tight butt must be nasty i heard u met from rear ending him

well i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fire

A man and a woman are standing in an elevator
Man: Excuse me, Miss, can I smell your butt?
Woman: (Disgusted) What!? Of course not!
Man: Oh, I see… well then, I guess that must be your breath.

Yo mama so ugly that when she was born the doctor looked at her face then at her butt and said Twins!

Flat Butt Jokes

People with flat butts are ridiculed a lot, you must have also witnessed it in your friend circle. If you also want to tease your friends who have got flat butts, you may use these flat butt jokes.

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he was sans and too lazy to get his butt off the couch.

My ass could be flatter than a piece of paper and you still would not get any.

I would rather have a flat ass than X.

What do you call a group of men with flat butts?
Assless Chaps

Timmy goes to the doctor and says theirs a crack in my butt doctor, Timmy there is a crack is everyone butt see

“Hey is that a peach?” gets slapped on the butt “Noted.”

A butt saw the toilet and said “Sh#t I’m sick.

What do butts say. Help me I’m getting wiped clean

Final Thoughts on Butt Jokes

Thank you for going through the collection of booty jokes we provided you with. A compilation of butt jokes was not at the top of my agenda, but with so many nicknames, such as bum, booty, tushy, and so on, I figured it was worth a go.

Not to add that butts are amusing even before they become the butt of a joke. Bum jokes are frequently used as creative fuel for me. They have a miraculous capacity to encapsulate the core of an idea in a line or two, which has always perplexed me.

But remember this thing that you need to take into account the feelings of other person into account as well with whom you are sharing these butt jokes. If you think they are going to get offended, don’t bring them up. And it you think they can take it, then you are free to use them as you want.

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