148 Funny Cowboy Jokes That’ll Inspire You to Try Western Lifestyle
If you’re looking for some funny cowboy jokes, you’ve come to the perfect spot. Cowboys are distinguished by their distinctive look and use of cowboy hats. They are also followed by a horse, which they use to go from one location to another.
According to legend, the cowboy trend started in Spain, who then moved and established in Latin and Central America. Just after American Civil War, there was a significant increase of cowboys, and the custom continues to this day.
In Western films, a cowboy is a guy riding on horse with a rope in his hand. Cowboys may be found in even children’s movies. So, check out these cowboy jokes and carry on horsing about.
Let’s have a look at the funny cowboy jokes we’ve prepared for you.
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Table of Contents
Best Cowboy Jokes
In the first category, we’ll provide some of the best cowboy jokes to help you improve your cowboy humor. So, let’s get started.
Why don’t cowboys make good lovers?
Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.
How did the cowboy know his cattle were following him without even looking?
He herd them!
Some people call me the space cowboy. Some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice…
Yes, that’s very nice sir, now can you show me your license please?
Where do cowboys take their herd for lunch?
To the calf-eteria!
How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don’t. They just talk about when it did work.
Two cowboys are on the edge of a cliff when they hear the sound of wardrums.
One cowboy looks at the other and says, “I don’t like the sound of those war drums.”
From below, they hear somebody shout, “He’s not our regular drummer!”
What do you call a really happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher!
Rooting for the Dallas Cowboys is the most authentic fan experience in sports.
Just like them, you too can watch the playoffs from the comfort of your couch at home.
What do a cowboy, chef, and a dom all have in common?
They must whip it, whip it good.
How did the cowboy save so much money?
His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day!
What does a cowboy say to his wife when the nature’s calling?
*Honey, I think I got a DIARR-HEE-YAW*
Why did the bow-legged cowboy lose his job?
He couldn’t keep his calves together!
Cowboys don’t roll joints
They tumble weed
Where do cowboys cook their beans?
On the range!
A man dies and comes back to life as a cowboy
I call that “reintarnation”
Which is a cowboy’s favourite soccer team?
Spurs!
What did the three-legged cowboy’s dog say when he walked into Dodge city?
I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!
What do you call a cowboy who teaches acting and singing?
A stage coach!
Which kind of dinosaur can be found at a rodeo?
A bronco-saurus!
There was a cowboy who went to the outhouse…
… He heard a noise, so he looked inside. Lo and behold, there was an Indian down in the hole. The cowboy said, “How long have you been down there in that awful hole?” The Indian replied, “Many moons.”
Funny Cowboy Jokes
Would you believe me if I told you that cowboys are more than just boots and spurs? They certainly have a great sense of humor. Take a peek at our collection of funny cowboy jokes. These amusing cowboy jokes about living on the ranch will have you hee-hawing with amusement, from the attire they don to the meals they consume!
Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny?
Because he was always horsing around!
What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?
They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.
A cowboy shot his wife dead. When asked why he said…
She broke her ankle.
What do cowboys put on their salads?
Ranch dressing!
Two cowboys were riding through a canyon.
From far off they heard the sound of drumming. One of them said, “I don’t like the sound of those drums.” And a distant voice called out “He’s not our regular drummer!”
What illness can cowboys catch from their horses?
Bronc-itis!
My wife left me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that’s ok cos this town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
Why do cowboys always ride horses?
Because they’re far too heavy to carry!
What did the Jedi say to the cowboy?
May the horse be with you.
What did the cowboy say to the artist?
Draw!
How did the cowboy do that?
I ask you again: Howdy do?
What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument?
Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!
A cowboy asked me if I could help round up 18 cows,
I replied ‘Of course, that’ll be 20 cows’
What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat?
Time to get a new cowboy hat!
Y’all ever heard how a Chinese cowboy says hello?
Ni Haody
How do cowboys keep their cattle relaxed?
By playing them, some calming moooosic!
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
So he could get a long little doggie.
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
both want to put a winchester in their mouth
What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe?
His horse is walking around in his socks!
How does a German cowboy say hello?
Audi.
Hilarious Cowboy Jokes
Are you as enamored with cowboys as we are? Cowboys are well-known for caring for animals and even riding their horse or bulls! Their western way of living is pretty intriguing.
I may say that they have a reputation for being terrible boys, but it doesn’t mean that they are. Here are some hilarious cowboy jokes that shed light on their amazing personalities.
Which Hollywood cowboy is the best at starting campfires?
Flint Eastwood!
What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
He turns off the PlayStation.
What’s it called when a cowboy has a learning disability?
Yeehawtism
Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class?
Because they’re always rounding things up!
We can run away with my dark horse and live in our own paradise for the rest of our lives.
Which Hollywood cowboy is always broke?
Skint Eastwood!
The cowboy still has nightmares about the worst job he ever had in a record factory making country music records: Howdy pressing!
Why did the cowboy get a Weiner dog?
He wanted to git along little doggy…
Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on – he didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
What did the young cowboy say when his dog went missing?
Doggone!
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So, he rounded them up.
What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common?
Both, don’t deliver on Sundays.
Two flies are in the kitchen. Which one is the Cowboy?
The one on the range.
Where did the cowboy drive his cattle to?
Moo York!
I’m a cowboy but my pronouns are
Ye/Haw
How do cowboys keep their cattle keep quiet?
Press the moooote button!
What car does a cowboy drive?
An Audi, partner!
What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of trumping?
Darn Tootin’!
Why couldn’t the cowboy please his partner?
He thought 8 seconds was some kind of record
How did the cowboy set fire to his chaps?
He was riding on the range!
Dirty Cowboy Jokes
Cowboys are typically associated with roping steers or blazing trails across rattlesnake-infested deserts. While we doubt that life on the range in the Wild Frontier was full of laughter and joy, the title “cowboy” and the many accoutrements they travelled with provide for some very dirty cowboy jokes. Here are a few examples for you.
Cowboy: Give me three packs of condoms please.
Clerk: You need a bag with that?
Cowboy: Nah… She’s purty good lookin…
Honey, that’s a nice set of legs. What time do they open?
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks,
“Is your date running late?”
“No”, he replies,
“I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.” The intrigued woman says,
“A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The cowboy explains,
“It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says,
“What’s it telling you now?”
“Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies
“Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says,
“Damn thing’s an hour fast.”
Don’t Fret… I’ve been in tight spots before.
Don’t flatter yourself cowboy. I was staring at your truck.
Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but your truck is sexy. Can I ride maybe?
One Liner Cowboy Jokes
Being a cowboy is actually a lot of fun, which may explain why there are so many cowboy jokes. For your entertainment, we’ve compiled a list of cowboy one liner jokes.
A cowboy walks into an expensive car showroom and says, “Audi!”
Everyone evacuates to the Cowboys Stadium! No chance of a touchdown there
What did the egg say to the rodeo clown? You crack me up!
What will you get if you ever cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh? You will get Darn Tutankhamun!
Why was the southeastern cowboy always hungry at night? Cause his mama always said “no tex’n at the dinner table”
How did the cowboy react when he bought a new yo-yo? He simply said, “Well, this ain’t my first yo-yo”.
Would you and your friend like to get some team roping?
How does a cowboy usually greet an equestrian? He simply takes off his hat and says, “Howdy Neigh-bor”.
Why are a significant majority of cowboys all avid gamblers? Because they always like raising the steaks!
Don’t worry ladies that isn’t a pistol in my pocket.
In what fashion does a cowboy arrive at a hockey game? He usually arrives in a zam-pony!
I’m making a new cowboy film called “The Sun”: It’s set in the west!
As a cowboy, which is the first thing that a guy learns while filling up a canteen? The first rule that he knows is to go upstream from the herd!
Come on now, ride your cowboy.
Why did the cowboy ride on his horse? Because he was too heavy to carry!
What did the Buddhist say when he was reborn as a cowboy? WHAT IN CARNATION?!
What Do You Call a Cowboy Who Helps Out at School? The deputy heads!
How Do Cowboys Like their Duck? A L’arange
Knock Knock Cowboy Jokes
Are you still seeking for more cowboy jokes to tell your friends? Saddle up for some good laughs with this selection of knock knock cowboy jokes.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Heywood.
Heywood?
Heywood you hand me that lasso?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Howey.
Handsome who?
Howey pardner.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ya. Ya who?
I didn’t know you were a cowboy!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Handsome.
Handsome who?
Handsome chili to me.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Hans.
Hans who?
Hans off my gold.
Flirty Cowboy Jokes
Cowboys are more than just boots and spurs. Whether you’re on the farm, fantasizing about a more nomadic existence on the ranch, or merely entertaining your own little cowpoke at the dinner table, these flirty cowboy jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh.
Girl, I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!
Don’t worry ladies that isn’t a pistol in my pocket.
I am amazed that you are indeed a cowgirl as you already stolen of our hearts in this room.
Besides, the scenery would brighten considerably if you came along.
Hey missy, I wouldn’t mind throwin a lasso around your boots and a pullin you this a way.
I know I usually work in the fields, but tonight, I could churn your butter.
Girl I’m like a champion bull rider, most of the time, I can last for almost 8 seconds.
I want to sing with the cactus and see your beauty shine across the desert, my dear cowgirl.
This golden sunshine makes your beauty become more radiant than ever, my beloved cowgirl.
Baby, I may have ridden that bronco for 8 seconds, but I’ll last a helluva longer on you.
I’ve got quick hands, a fast horse, and strong arms that can hold you tight all night long.
You know what they say about a man with a large belt buckle…
So girl, you wanna go to a dance, cause I could lay this hoe-down.
Wanna come back to my place, babe? I’m a thoroughbred.
Cowboy Jokes for Adults
You might be interested in these cowboy jokes for adults. With this collection, you’ll be able to wow some girls and make a woman smile.
What does a cowboy eat before a rodeo?
Bullogna.
How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?
A tractor beam.
Q: Why did the cowboy get so many laughs?
A: Because he was always horsing around!
Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada?
Just aboot.
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
Hopalong Cassidy.
What do cowboys call midnight?
High moon.
Q: What lesson did the cowboy teach all of his children?
A: Never squat with your spurs on.
What do you call a takeout low-calorie meal for a cowboy?
A saddle light dish.
What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo?
A bulldozer.
What’s it called when cowboys eat beans at high noon?
A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday & ride away only three days later on Friday?
A: His horse’s name was Friday!
Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?
Maple Stirrups.
Three cowboys are riding in a truck, all dressed head-to-toe identically. Who is the smartest?
The one in the middle because he doesn’t have to drive or open the gate.
Q: What did the cowboys think about the campfire?
A: They gave it GLOWING reviews.
Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One cowboy sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, “It’s a bacon tree; we’re saved!”
He runs toward the tree and gets shot. It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a hambush.
Do bulls have love handles?
No, they have rodeo grips.
Q: What do cowboys put on their pancakes?
A: Log Cabin syrup
What do you call a cowboy who works in finance?
The loan arranger.
How did the cowboy survive the stampede?
He had herd immunity.
Q: Who do the Cowboy zombies battle every season?
A: The DEAD skins.
Cowboy Jokes about Their Hat
Did you guys know a cowboy hat is also known as a ten-gallon hat? It is dubbed a ten-gallon hat because of the quantity of water it can hold. Isn’t it fascinating? This famous hat is a cowboy must-have. Wear this classic cowboy hat while telling these cowboy hat jokes.
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex!
My brother wanted to play cowboys and Indians
So I put on a ten gallon hat and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.
I might have looked like Woody, but you must know that you’ve not just got a friend in me.
Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?
-Goth Brooks
Do you know why cowgirls are bowlegged?
Because cowboys eat with their hats on.
Q: What time is it when a cow sits on your cowboy hat?
A: Time to get a new cowboy hat!
I hear that soon Reddit will require all redditors to don a cowboy hat / boot, and dance a jig in order to log in…
I’m not a big fan of Two-Step Authentication.
Did you hear about the cowboy who wore a hat made of paper towels?
He had a bounty on his head.
…I’ll see myself out. :-/
A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit and paper hat.
He wasn’t in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
Why are cowboy hats curled on the sides?
So, three of those assholes could sit in a truck.
Cowboy Jokes and Riddles
This amusing collection of cowboy riddles and jokes is suitable for individuals of all ages. Your pals will burst out laughing when they hear these cowboy jokes!
A cowboy rides into town in the Wild West and shoots an artist.
The sheriff asks him, “Why did you do that?”
The cowboy says, “I thought he was going to draw.”
Q: Which side of a cowboy has scruffy hair?
A: The outside.
Two cowboys sitting on a fence watching a dog lick his nuts.
One says to the other, “man I wish I could do that” then the other says, “doncha think you should at least pet him first”
What weights 126 pounds and wears a Stetson?
A nine-stone cowboy.
Q: Where do cowboys cook their meals?
A: On their range!
When do vampires like horse racing?
Answer: When it’s neck and neck.
What Do You Call a Cowboy with Bad Gas?
Darn Tootin’
a lesbian, a cowboy, the pope, a gambling midget, the president, and a ten-inch pianist all walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at all of them and says:
“What is this, a joke?”
How Does a Cowboy Get a Horse to Do Odd Jobs Around the Farm?
By paying him under the stable!
Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?
A: Turn off the XBox.
Why Did the Cowboy’s Car Stop?
It had injun trouble.
An Indian and a cowboy were buffalo hunting together
The Indian suddenly knelt down, pressed his ear against the ground and said “Buffalo come.”
The cowboy was amazed by this and asked him “how do you know this?”
The Indian replied: “Sticky.”
What Do You Call a Cowboy with A Truckload of Sheep?
A pimp!
A cowboy ran out of food on the trail so he had to boil and eat his leather chaps.
The next day he pooped his pants.
What Did the Cowboy Maggot Say at The Bar?
Gimme a slug of whiskey.
Final Thoughts on Cowboy Jokes
Thank you for reading the jokes about cowboy we provided with you. Did you guys know that many cowboys were former Civil War warriors on both sides of the conflict? That is correct.
Cowboys, unlike many other characters in westerns, were not solitary beings. Nope. Instead, they walked in bands of 3 to 5, herding livestock through any terrain they came across. Nothing a cowboy wore, from their breeches to their bandanas, was merely for show: everything had a function.
It wasn’t unusual to find a bunch of cowboys clustered around the fireside telling stories and making up cowboy jokes to kill time during the time of cowboys and galloping around on the pastures. They’d tell jokes about alcohol, ponies, and everyday life.
If you’re feeling sassy, go grab yourself a new pair of cowboy boots, a 10 gallon hat, and throw out a few of the cowboy jokes on your new buddies at the pub.
We know you had a good time and laughed a lot while listening to the funny cowboy jokes we shared with you. Don’t be shy about sharing them with others you know who would appreciate them.
