Jokes

144 Hilarious Sheep Jokes That Will Cheer Ewe Up

Welcome to our collection of amazing sheep jokes. Do you know there are over 900 different sheep breeds on the planet?

Consider the incredible fact that sheep are thought to be as intelligent as dogs, despite the fact that sheep have a horrible reputation for following each other everywhere (even down a cliff!). You might be interested to know that sheep have great memories.

These sheep jokes will guide your life in a more positive direction and will always make you giggle. You will be unable to look at these lovely woolly creatures without smiling!

We have curated here a slew of woolly good sheep puns and funny sheep jokes that are simple to recall (even if you don’t have a sheep’s memory) and will make the whole family laugh.

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Best Sheep Jokes

These sheep jokes will brighten your day if you enjoy a good laugh. Sheep are such a misunderstood species. They’re a cute farmyard companion. Tell these best sheep jokes to anyone, whether it’s a farmer or a family member.

Where do sheep get their overgrown wool cut?
At the baa baa shop.


What did the evil sheep want to do?
He wanted to wool the world.


Why did the flock of sheep not listen to what their shepherd was saying to them?
They were herd it all before.


Why could the flock of sheep not solve the computer puzzle?
There is not enough ram.


What’s a sheep favorite song?
Baby don’t herd me now.


Where should you keep newborn lambs?
Inc-ewe-bators.


If a sheep is in control of a country, it will be called
A dictatorsheep.


What did the Sheep say to his wife when she was leaving him?
“Fleece, don’t leave me!”


What would you call a sheep that likes to play fetch?
A sheepdog.


What is the name of the action film with a sheep as the hero?
Lambo.


What do you call the process of wrapping plastic around sheep?
Lambination.


What’s magical creature do sheep like?
A ewenicorn.


What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine?
An animal which sues its own winter clothes.


Why did the ram not enter the vehicle?
Because it was not a Dodge Ram.


Why was the sheep so embarassed?
She saw the ranch dressing.


Why don’t sheep remember things you tell them?
Because everything goes in one ear and out the udder.


Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

Funny Sheep Jokes

Here are some amusing sheep jokes to share with your friends and family. Share them on Facebook, in captions on Instagram, or in person! When you share these funny sheep jokes, everyone will think you have a great sense of humor.

Why do all the sheep go to the bank?
To check their baalance.


What exercise do sheep do every day to stay fit?
Zoombaa.


What happens if you try mixing a kangaroo with a sheep?
You get a woolly jumper.


What would you call a very old sheep?
Pasture Prime.


What did the sheep victim say to his captor?
“Please don’t herd me.”


How do Mexican sheep say Merry Christmas?
“Fleece Navidad.”


I’m unhappy because my neighbor’s sheep aren’t clipped properly.
I can’t stand that kind of shear incompetence.


What would you call a mix of a wooly sheep and a boa?
A wrap-around sweater.


On which side do sheep have the most wool?
The outside.


What generally stays underwater and can often bleat?
A ewe-boat.


What do you call the horse and sheep who live next door?
Your neigh-baas.


Why do sheep herders wear pants with button flys?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.


What do you get if you cross a sheep dog with a daisy?
A collie-flower.

Hilarious Sheep Jokes

This is not the time to stop laughing! Here are some hilarious sheep jokes to share with friends and family to make them laugh. Look no further for some sheep puns to use in conversation! Our funny sheep jokes will brighten your day!

What do sheep do when they hang out?
Baabaacue.


What is a sheep with no legs and no head called?
A cloud.


One stylish sheep to another, “Wow, I really like your brooch.”
The second sheep responds, “Thanks, my grandmother left it to me in her wool.”


What would you call a dancing sheep?
You can call a dancing sheep a baa-lerina.


What do sheep wear for Christmas?
A sweater with fleece Navidad written on it.


Why did the careless sheep get arrested?
For ramming into a police car.


What did the sheep scientist say when he discovered the density of wool?
Ewereka!


What sound would a sheep, a drum, and a snake falling down a hill make?
Baa-dum-tssssss.


A mathematician is asked to build a fence around a flock of sheep using the least amount of materials possible.
So he builds a fence around himself and then defines himself as outside.


A pig, a dog, and a sheep are sitting at a table. A plate of 20 biscuits are served.
The pig grabs 19 and says to the dog: “Watch out, that sheep wants to take your biscuit.”


A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman.
The policeman said, “Take that sheep to the zoo, now.”
Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again. The policeman stops the guy and says, “What on earth are you doing with that sheep?”
The guy says, “What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and now I’m taking him to the movies.”


What did the deaf barber say to the sheep?
I can’t shear you.


Did you hear about the sheep that climbed over the mountain instead of around it?
He took the path of fleece persistence.

Dirty Sheep Jokes

What does ewe do when in need of a good laugh? Of course, you should read some dirty sheep jokes! Don’t dismiss these bad sheep jokes before giving them a go.

A Welshman invented the condom when he discovered he could wrap his penis in sheep intestines to prevent pregnancy.
A hundred years later a Scotsman perfected the idea by taking them out of the sheep first.


A farmer and his dog are counting sheep in a field
‘I count 37’, claims the farmer.
‘I count 40’, replies the dog.
‘How did you get 40?!’
‘I rounded them up!’


How does an Irishman find his sheep in the tall grass?
Very satisfying!


What do you get when you put a vibrator in sheep skin rug?
A baa hum rug!


Do you know why the shepherd fucks the sheep on the edge of the cliff?
So it pushes back.


A man walks into his house with a sheep under his arm. Looks at his wife and says.
“This is the pig im fuckin when im not fuckin you”
She laughs and says.
“You idiot, that’s a sheep not a pig..”
The man smiles and says.
“I was talking to the sheep.


What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?
The baaaackstroke!


What do grumpy sheep say during the holidays?
Baa, Baa, humbug.


My wife tells me that she can’t stand sheep.
I told her that I think that’s an ewe problem.


Why do sheep have so much sex?
Because theyre so shaggy.

Sheep Jokes One Liners

The ewe doesn’t come across funny sheep jokes like this every day. If you’re having a baa-d day, these dirty sheep jokes one liners are sure to perk you up.

Where do sheep think they are from?
From another eweniverse.


In which continent do we find most sheep?
Ewerope.


What is the favorite band of an ewe?
Ewe-2.


Where do sheep buy their stuff from?
Woolmart.


What car do all sheep aim to buy?
A lamborghini.


What do you call a sheep thief?
Steel wool.


How did the sheep get to Mars?
It flew through udder space.


Why was the sheep eating again?
Because he cud.


What’s a sheep’s favorite singer?
Britney Shears!


Which farm animal is always the quietest?
A shhhheep.


What did the sheep musicians decide to do?
Form a band.


Where do sheep buy office supplies.
Stables.


Which car brand do sheep like most?
Lamb-orghini.


What did the polite sheep say while holding the barn door?
After ewe.

Short Sheep Jokes

We hope you will find these short sheep jokes amusing because they’re the internet’s funniest ones. Whether you’re a little child or an adult, they’ll make you chuckle. In any case, make sure to employ a clever pun today! It’ll make you feel much better!

What do you call a sheep that you doubt?
A dodgy ram.


What is a sheep disguised as a wolf called?
A woolf.


Where do sheep take bath?
In the baath tub.


What do you call a flying sheep?
A baa-t.


Where do sheep go shopping?
Woolmart.


What sport do sheep like to play?
Baadminton.


What instrument do sheep play?
A ewekulele.


Where do sheep watch videos online?
In ewetube.


What do sheep sing for birthdays?
Happy birthday to Ewe!


What do sheep dream of?
Humans jumping.


What fruit do sheep like?
A baa-nana.


Where do sheep go for their holidays?
The Baahamas.


Why did the sheep call the police?
He was fleeced.


What do you call a silent sheep?
A Shhheep.


Why did the sheep cross the ocean?
To get to the udder tide.


What do you call a sheep that is religious?
A baaptist.


What do construction worker sheep drive?
Dodge Rams.

Sheep Jokes for Adults

Do you have a strong desire for woolly cuteness? This collection of lamb jokes will make you laugh like a lunatic. Check out this collection of sheep jokes for adults to make everyone laugh.

What did the sheep vice-principal ask the flock of sheep after the principal’s speech?
Have you herd what he said?


Where did the bad sheep get sent?
Behind baa-rs.


What did the new trainee exclaim after shaving a sheep?
“Shear madness!”


Why did the shepherd dog not want to hear any more jokes about sheep from the shepherd?
He had herd them all.


Why is the sheep not eating?
He is in a baad mood.


I struggle to believe what I’m hearing about New Zealand farmers being good in bed.
I mean, 9 out of 10 sheep can’t tell the difference.


Why did the sheep not want to face his lover during the marriage?
He was feeling too sheepish.


Why did the sheep get banned from flying a plane?
Because he had a lambing problem.


Teacher: What does a pig give you Little
Johnny: Bacon
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you Little
Johnny: Wool
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you Little
Johnny: Homework and says leave motherf*cker


Which football club do sheep support?
Baa-rcelona.


Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.


How do you properly milk a flock of sheep?
Tell them the election was stolen, then ask for money.


A retired boxer goes to see his doctor because he’s having trouble sleeping. “Have you tried counting sheep?” the doctor asks.
“I tried,” the boxer explains, “but every time I get to the number nine I stand up.”


I had a friend from New Zealand, he grew up on a farm surrounded by cattle and livestock, since i grew up on a farm too, he and I bonded over shared experiences all the time. but one day, my friend approaches me after getting back from the paddock “Ey mate I think you need to shear ya sheep bro” he said.
“No I don’t think I want to share her with you, thanks”

Sheep Jokes for Kids

One of the most awesome ways to enhance the link between you and your children is to tell a joke they’ll enjoy. Kids enjoy a good sheep joke, jokes about ewes and rams, and anything else linked to sheep like they love other animals. Check out these sheep jokes for kids to choose from.

The sheep says ‘baaa’
The cat says ‘meow’
The pig says ‘oink’
The dog says ‘Ed… ward..’


What is a sheep covered in chocolate known as?
A chocolate baa.


What do sheep become after a heavy workout?
A sweater.


Why didn’t Gordon Ramsey upvote the picture of the lamb Steak?
“Because it was rawww.”


What do you call a sheep that can’t give milk?
An udder failure.


What group did the freshman sheep join?
Lambda-Lambda-Lambda.


What did the sheep do after eating 20 bean burritos?
It went bloating.


Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs?
Because the sheep has the udder.


Which washing machine brand do sheep always buy?
Wool pool.


Where can you find free wool?
On the baa-baa shop floor.


What baseball team do sheep and cow cheer for?
Flerda Marlins.


Why was the ewe so cranky?
Here lamb wouldn’t let her sheep at night.


What do you say when a skunk sprays a sheep?
Peeee-ewe.


What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?
Abahhhhumbug.


Why was the sheep pulled over on the highway?
She did an illegal ewe-turn.

Funniest Sheep Jokes

Are you looking for some of the greatest sheep jokes that will make your day? This collection of funniest sheep jokes is woolly humorous. They might make you laugh out loud.

Where does a sheep go to have a drink?
The baar.


What is a sheep taking steroids called?
A wooly mammoth.


What is the best price a journalist sheep can get?
The Woolitzer Prize.


What would you call a sheep that went to space?
A space sheep.


What did the captain order the crew of sheep when the ship was sinking?
“Abandon sheep.”


What is a hundred sheep rolling down a hill known as?
A lamb-slide.


What patriotic day do French sheep celebrate?
Baaaaa-stile Day.


Why can’t sheep stop injuring themselves?
I don’t know they just keep ramming into things!


A sheep and a goat went on a blind date and found out they had nothing in common.
When asked about their experience,
the Sheep went: “Bah”
and the Goat went “Meh”.


New Zealand scientists have discovered two new uses for sheep
Meat and wool.


What would you call a sheep covered with licorice?
A candy baa.


How do you milk a sheep?
By inventing the next “covid cure” that’s not a vaccine.


What would you call a flock of sheep taking over France?
Baa-stile Day.


What do sheep do to relax?
Spend some time in a hot wool pool.


How do ewes greet each other at Christmas?
They say: Merry Christmas to Ewe.

Sheep Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

Are you looking for a fantastic ewe joke to make you laugh? Here’s a wonderful collection of some of the funniest clean sheep jokes and sheep humor you’ll ever hear!

Where do all the sheep go to shop for groceries and daily items?
The baazar.


What do sheep use to keep track of their wool?
Baa-codes.


How do you describe the act of someone shaving a sheep in 5 seconds?
Shear brilliance.


What do you get when you cross an angry cow and an angry sheep?
An animal in a very baa-d moo-ood.


Why are all sheep such bad drivers?
It’s because they keep making ewe turns.


I was viciously attacked by a flock of sheep.
But there was nothing I could do to stop the bleating.


Did you hear about the farmer who left her sheep out in the blizzard?
She had to take them to the Icy Ewe ward.


Which newspaper do sheep read?
They read the Wool Street Journal.


What do sheep do on Memorial Day weekend?
Have baaaa-baa-ques.


What do you call a sheep that is always disgusted?
An ewe.


How many sheep does it take to knit an entire sweater?
None – sheep can’t knit


Which pop singer does sheep love the most?
Britney Shears.


What do you call a sheep covered in concrete?
A baad situation.


What does a sheep say to his female lover?
“I’ll always be there for ewe.”


What’s a sheep’s favorite type of restaurant?
A hole in the wool.

Final Thoughts on Sheep Jokes

We hope that you enjoy this article of sheep jokes. Sheep are not only important creatures for providing wool and meat, but they can also be used to spread joy through a clever joke.

Actually, just thinking about sheep makes you feel warm, cuddly, and comfortable on the inside. A sheep is a species that is adored by both adults and children.

Such cute and cuddly creatures are also deserving of all the love. Sheep are particularly popular with children, who are captivated by animals in general. Something as fluffy as lambs is likely to bring back memories of their favorite plush toy from home.

Hence, sharing some funny sheep jokes with them may also make them laugh. Kids like to laugh and have a good time, so why not engage them in some smart and humorous comedies that will not only make them laugh but will also enhance their wit?

When it comes to children, animal humor is one of the most effective memory boosters. These jokes about sheep appear to be a fun approach to keep their minds active.

Thanks for going through this collection of sheep jokes. Keep laughing!

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