156 Hilarious Midget Jokes to Make You Laugh

Laughter is widely acknowledged as a powerful unifying factor that transcends barriers and promotes social cohesion.

Welcome to the world of entertaining jokes about short people, where the humor comes from smart wording and playful settings rather than nasty statements.

This collection of midget jokes draws on comedians’ wisdom, psychology experts’ insights, and the unifying force of humor.

The dwarf jokes are written with the intention of bringing joy and laughter while inflicting no harm or offense.

Best Midget Jokes

Get prepared to enjoy a wild ride as we show you the best of midget humor, including smart wit and funny situations.

When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?
When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.

I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!

I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me; “Are you ok sir?”
Midget; “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me; Well, which one are ya?

What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full essay.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.

Walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by him self and he looked like he needed a hand so i offered to help, he said this is not a big screen TV its a Kindle!!

I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and i thought, huh, that’s a little con-descending

What’s a kind midget’s favorite type of joke?
Short and sweet.

How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
3. Because it’s the normal persons height

Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, “When I was little”?

Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones
I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest and inbreeding… And he was like: “Oh so you’re still on the first episode then?”

What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.

I saw my midget neighbour at a bus stop
“Jump in, I’ll give you a lift home” I said.
“Bugger off” he shouted back.
“What an ungrateful little man” I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do.

Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties ?…because its not big and its not clever.

Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldnt reach the bed.

If there was a quiz on midgets here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get High on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet
3. Are Midgets related to snow whites 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?

Funny Midget Jokes

Get ready to bust a gut laughing at these hilarious midget jokes. These witty one-liners and lighthearted anecdotes are guaranteed to put a smile on your face.

Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can’t reach the drinking fountains.

If a midget does meth does he get high or get medium.

If a midget says your hair smell nice is that sexual assault?

Black midget porn is in 911.

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43,43,43. A kid walks up to the man and says “why are you saying 43,43,43”. The man stops and looks at him then he starts jumping again and says 43,43,43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops opens the pothole throws the kid in, closed the starts jumping in says 44,44,44!!!

A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer, the bartender says no.
The midget asks why, the bartender says “You’re a little drunk”

What do u call a short student?
A Ravin.

Why couldn’t the midget ride the bus?
He can’t slam dunk his bus fare!

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.

What’s the difference between a midget and a tall person only one of them can ride the rides?

A midget had a disease and the cure was on the highest shelf.

Why do midgets run on balls?
Because the grass tickles them

What do you call a fat midget?
A pig

Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend.
The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow’
He commented “What the hell is wrong with you”and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.”
And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

What do you call a funny midget?
Kevin.

Why did the midgets laugh when they run?
Because there balls dragged along the ground.

Why are midgets short?
Caused they are.

What do you call a ice skating dwarf?
A midget spinner.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.

Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment….

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.

When midgets smoke weed do they get high or do they get medium.

Do gay midgets come out of the cabnit?

What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that i’ve got 30 minutes to get out. That’s short notice!

I asked my midget neighbour if he wanted a lift.
He told m to “Fuck of!!!”! I thought what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.

What do you call two transgender midgets having sex?
A microtransaction.

What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he’s not a full Esé.

Do you want to know how to make s Smurf?
CHOKE A MIDGET!

What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.

The optimistic midget’s coffin was half full.

What do you call angry midgets?
Short tempered

Why don’t midgets fight?
They walk away to be the bigger man.

Why don’t midgets use tampons?
They are always tripping over the string.

What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.

I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence.
When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said; “Well, that’s a little condescending.”

What do you call a midget born from precum?
“Half Nut”.

Hilarious Midget Jokes

Explore this selection of amusing jokes featuring individuals of small stature for an entertaining experience. It will surely bring tears of joy to your eyes. Dwarf and midget jokes… Slightly cruel? yes. Extremely funny? Also yes.

What is the difference between a dwarf and a midget?
Very little.

Why are midgets constantly thirsty?
They can’t reach the drinking fountains.

I saw my midget neighbour at a bus stop
“Jump in, I’ll give you a lift home” I said.
“Bugger off” he shouted back.
“What an ungrateful little man” I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.

My dad was a midget but I still could never beat him in a running race.
No matter how fast I ran, he was always a little father ahead.

Why does everyone respect midgets and dwarves?
They never look down on anyone.

Did you realise that dwarfism is a growing problem around the world?

Did you realise that 6 outta 7 dwarves are not happy?

Why are midgets so good at picking up girls?
They are amazing at small talk.

Did you hear the story about the midget who was climbing down the prison wall?
It is a little con descending.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.

I met a midget once, my conversation with her was extremely awkward.
I am not very good when it comes to small talk.

A midget heads to a job interview. He humbly describes all of the advantages of his height pertaining to the job.
The interviewer could see that he really was selling himself short.

Where do midgets like to go surfing?
On microwaves.

Why did the midget have to quit his job at the butchers?
The steaks were too high.

What did the nurse say to the midget in the hospital waiting room?
You are just going to have to be a little patient.

Why did the midget get fired from his job at the restaurant?
The authorities found out he was being paid under the table.

Do you know what the midget said when I asked him to lend me 10 bucks?
I’m a little short.

A psychic midget medium escapes from jail.
Small medium at large.

Why did the dwarf get slapped by the lady?
He told her “I love the smell of your hair”.

Always, and I mean always listen to a midgets opinion.
They always know what is up.

My neighbor is an epeleptic midget who really loves pizza.
Everyday he has little seizures.

I have a lot of respect for the midgets in my community.
I feel it would be really wrong to look down on them.

What do you call a midgets mother?
Minimum.

I had to wait a really long time for my food at the midget restaurant.
I am guessing it was because they were short staffed.

Did you hear about the hot headed midget?
He had a short temper.

What do you call a midget pigeon?
A smidgen.

Why do you often see midgets laughing as they run when playing football?
The grass tickles their balls.

What dairy product do you get from a midget cow?
Condensed milk.

What is the definition of frustration?
A midget with a yoyo.

Midget Jokes One Liners

These funny one-liners are short and to the point. They are great for a quick laugh or to lighten up a chat.

Did you hear about the midget who was beaten to death playing volleyball at a nudist colony?

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?
There is a small medium at large.

If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she’s a little tardy?

What is the one spray that can kill midgets?
Bug spray.

What phone do midgets use?
A MICROphone.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!

What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.

This midget in my school has two moms I said did ur dad go get the milk he told me to shut up I said I don’t shut up I grow up like u should.

What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.

Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.

You’re so short, you have to yell to talk to people.

Why do Midgets work at Tesco because every little helps?

What do you say to a black midget Wanna a shower you look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle?

Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because there balls get tickled by the grass.

Why did the midget laugh when he ran, cause the grass tickles his balls?

Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles there balls.

Why do midgets giggle when they run?
Because the grass tickles there balls.

Midget Jokes for Adults

Laugh it up with this collection of mature-audience midget jokes. These jokes feature a dash of irreverence and wit and are aimed towards readers with a more sophisticated sense of humor.

What do you call a midget with 3 legs?
Excited to see you.

What do you call 55 midgets at a dwarf convention?
A little get together.

What talking robot movie do all midgets love?
Short circuit.

Why don’t midgets need a concrete wall to play handball?
They are able to just use the curb.

Did you hear about the midget that smoked a bunch of weed?
He was finally able to hold his head up high.

Did you hear about the midget model?
He made his money posing for trophies.

What do you call a chubby midget?
Low fat.

Did you hear about the midget that overdosed on viagra?
He is a little stiff now.

I know a joke about a midget, it is short and funny.

I got told off today for making a joke about a midget.
It was over something small though.

Make the little things in life count, teach a midget mathematics.

I used to date a midget woman. I was nuts over her.

Recent studies have confirmed, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy.

Why is a Mexican midget called a paragraph?
Because he is too short to be an ese.

A midget stumbles out of the bar.
She was a little drunk.

Did you hear about the Mexican midget?
He was a little juan.

Why do midgets love smoking weed.
They finally can get high.

A dwarf stole all all of my anti depressants today.
Well, I hope he is happy.

What do you call a Mexican midget?
Minimum wage.

How do you pay him?
Under the table.

What do you call a midget from Mexico?
A minican.

I met a midget the other day and asked him “what is it like being a dwarf?”
He replied “I’m not happy”
I then said to him “well, which one are you then?”

A midget just groped me.
It was a short squeeze.

Why was the dwarf arrested?
Small arms offenses.

Why do midgets make terrible parents?
They really struggle to put food on the table.

A large man is sitting next to a dwarf in the bus. As the bus breaks for the stop, the dwarf starts sliding off of his seat and the large man puts his arm out and slides him back on to the seat.
This happens again at the next stop, and the stop after that.
Eventually it is time for the large man to get off the bus, he turns and says to the dwarf “You had better hold on tight now, because I am leaving and there won’t be anybody to stop you from sliding off the seat.”
The dwarf replies to him “Sliding?! I wasn’t sliding, I have been trying to get off since 15 minutes ago!”