160 Hilarious Whale Jokes for the Largest Animal That Ever Existed
Whale hello there! Did you come on this site because you have a child that is fascinated with whale jokes? Do you have a potential marine biologist in your house that regales you with whale facts whenever they have the chance?
If so, you’ve come to the right spot. In this post, we will share with you a fantastic collection of whale jokes that you and your children will both enjoy.
Whales may grow to be as tall as ninety feet (or more!) and as heavy as 24 elephants. Some whales may live for two hundred years or more, and some can dive to great depths.
A Cuvier’s beaked whale did one of the deepest dives ever recorded in 2014, diving 1.9 miles. How, for example, are whales even real? They’re out of this world so it’s no surprise your child is captivated.
We are all about assisting you in feeding your child’s interests, so we went ahead and compiled a list of the cleverest, corniest, and most funny whale jokes that will keep your youngster entertained for minutes and minutes.
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Table of Contents
Best Whale Jokes
Looking for the best whale jokes? Look no further. We’ve spent a whale lot of time looking for the finest whale puns and whale jokes, so if your kids adore whales, you’ve come to the right spot! Let’s start the laughter with our collection of whale jokes!
How do you make fish laugh?
By telling them a whale of a tale!
What did the whale say to the dolphin?
When the person says “what?” do you best impression of a whale.
Why aren’t whales afraid of pirates?
They like being made to walk the plankton!
Around 50 million years ago, whales lived on land. Until some of them decided to go back to the sea.
The rest of them stayed on land and became yo mumma
What did the mummy whale do when her daughter stayed out too late?
She flipped!
How does a whale like it’s burger?
On the Krill.
What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA?
Banned from Seaworld
A pirate trained his pet whale to come when he whistled
One day, he heard a navy general whistle the same way
Furious, the pirate fired all cannons and blew their ship in half. In victory he yelled
Sank you!
The general yelled back
Your whale comes!
What does a dog and a whale have in common?
They both start with the letter d if the whales name is david
If whales lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
My friend asked me what I do for a living. I told him I mostly deal with campers and toothed whales,
For all in tents and porpoises.
How does a whale buy their drugs?
By the krill-o-gram
Which whales have the fastest websites?
Cachalots
Where do you find a particular type of whale?
In the Specific Ocean
What do you get when you combine human DNA with whale DNA?
Kicked out of Sea World, apparently.
What do whales listen to on long journeys?
Podcasts!
Did you hear about the gay whale bothering the Navy?
It bit the head off a submarine and sucked all the seamen out…
I took my kids to the aquarium.
“If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!” I suggested to my son.
“Grow up,” said the woman behind the ticket booth.
Who is the heaviest member of the British royal family?
It’s Diana, Princess of Whales.
Did you hear about the diver who died after Netflix and chill with a whale?
In his defense, it ain’t called a blowhole for nothing
I am going to tow a whale with open mouth behind my boat :
Operation: Overkrill
How do whales prepare for a party?
They orca-nise it!
What do you call a band full of whales?
An ORCAstra
Funny Whale Jokes
Let us now go through some really dunny whale jokes to get the party going. Isn’t it cool? Almost as fantastic as these funny jokes about whales! Let us dig in.
What type of whales can fly?
Pilot whales!
My wife has a whale tattooed on her butt.
It used to be a dolphin.
A young whale asks his dad where he came from.
Father: “When a mommy whale and a daddy whale love each other very much they make a baby whale.”
Son: “Thanks, dad!”
Father: “You’re whale cum, son!”
How do whales make decisions?
They flipper coin!
Why did the whale cross the road?
Because there was a tsunami.
What do you call a group of 3 finned whales that never gives up and are difficult to knock over??
A tri-pod
Do you know what Pinocchio and your dad have in common?
They were both inside a whale.
Two whales are sitting at a bar. The first leans closer to the second and says: “Wooooooo-ahhhhhh-oooo-ahhhh-ahn-ahn-ahn-woooooooo”
The second whale pushes him back, setting him upright on his stool and grumbles: “Shut up, Frank, you’re drunk!
Why did the whale call the detective?
Because he saw something fishy going on!
The whale says to the wave, “I bet I could beat in a race to land.” The wave agrees, so the whale takes off. He swims so fast, he drives himself ashore. The wave following behind him says ” Hah! Beached ya!”
What do you call a whale that mates excessively?
Mom.
It’s illegal to hunt whales in Arizona
Arizona is land locked…
They made the law to protect your mom
What did the whale say to scare everyone
Ooga Beluga
How do you turn a fox into a whale?
Marry her.
Two whales walk into a zoo.
The first whale goes, “oooOOOOOoooo…aaaaaaaaa……BLURB BLURB BLURB…aaaaaaEEEEEooooOOOOOOooooeeeEEE. Whomp. Whomp. Whomp. AcacacacacacacacacacacoooOOoooeeeeeeEEEEEEAAAAAAaaaaaaOoooOOOOOOOO”
The second whale looks at him and goes, “I don’t get it.”
What do you get when you cross a cow with a whale?
Sha-Moo!
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a whale sitting next to him.
“Are you a whale?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The whale replied, “Well, I liked the book.”
Why do whales sing?
Because they can’t talk!
My son wanted to go whale watching for his birthday.
So we sat outside McDonald’s.
A drunk Irishman sees two women at the bar.
Irishman: You two ladies from England? Girl: No, Wales. Irishman: You two whales from England?
Hilarious Whale Jokes
Having trouble coming up with hilarious whale jokes? You don’t have to be concerned about it anymore. We offer a clever and humorous solution for you in the shape of these amazing whale jokes.
Why did the two whales get married?
Because they were head over fins in love!
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What was the orca’s favorite game show?
Whale of Fortune.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
“Whale whale whale, look who it is,” I said.
My buddy hates when I visit him at the aquarium. He says I’m not using the word for its intended porpoise.
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Q: Where do women whales keep their money?
A: In an octopurse.
Where are whales weighed?
At a whale weigh station.
An American walks into a bar in Britain.
He sits down next to two rather large ladies and strikes up a conversation with them.
After a few moments he says, “I can’t place your accents. Are you ladies from Scotland?”
The first lady says, “Wales”.
The American says, “Sorry, are you whales from Scotland?”
Why don’t whales play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
How do fish travel long distances?
They whale a taxi.
Q: Why don’t whales do well on their report cards?
A: Because they work below C-Level.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Q: How do you make a whale float?
A: Combine root beer, ice cream and a whale.
What did one whale say to another whale?
Nothing, it just wailed!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
How do you get a whale off the beach?
With a whale-barrow!
Q: How did the whale get to the hospital?
A: In a big clambulance.
A whale went to Wales for vacation.
When it ended, he said, “I had a whale of a time!”
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea!
Knock Knock Whale Jokes
I was bored and unwell today, feeling a little down in the dumps. So I thought I’d attempt to make some whale knock knock jokes to cheer myself up, as well as all of you! I hope you enjoy these.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Whale
Whale who?
Whale, dont just stand there open the door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Whale
Whale who?
Whale that’s enough of that joke!
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Whale.
Whale who?
Whale you please let me in
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Whale
Whale who?
Open the door and I’ll tell you a whale tale!
Whale Jokes One Liners
One thing you have had to say about whale one liners is that they are far bigger than your typical joke. These jokes will help you to flaunt your amazing personality in front of all your family and friends.
Someone once told me that whales can squirt ink, then I realised that they were just squidding!
I know a whale joke, it’s a real killer!
I went to a sea mammal themed fancy dress party as a whale and got chatting to someone dressed as a dolphin. We just clicked.
I was going to put my dolphin in the bath but it’s not fit for porpoise.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for days. It was very well orca-strated!
A man walks into Sea World and says “whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?!”.
Saw a group of whale musicians recently. They were part of an orca-stra.
I know a whale who goes to church for religious porpoises.
Have you ever seen a fish cry? No, but I’ve seen a whale blubber!
If there is a whale there is a wave!
t’s all a bit over-whale-ming!
I used to know some killer whale jokes… but I forgot them all!
Blue Whale Jokes
The blue whale is a baleen whale and a sea animal. It is the biggest animal ever recorded to have lived, with a maximum verified length of 29.9 meters and weighing up to 199 metric tons. Here are some blue whale jokes for you to enjoy.
Did you know that a blue whale is so huge that if you put it end to end…?
…. on a football pitch, the match would be cancelled?
Q: What do you do with a blue whale?
A: Cheer it up.
Why was the whale so sad?
It was a blue whale!
The Blue Whale is by far the world’s largest animal…
…it’s so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.
Do you know why blue whale is called blue whale?
Because it wasn’t fat enough to be called yo mom!
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What’s the difference between blue whales and green peas?
A leprechaun doesn’t get offended if you ask him if his whale’s blue.
What does a Blue Whale do on a date?
Netflix and Krill.
The baby blue whale is the 2nd largest baby in the world
Right after people who are still complaining about wearing masks.
The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court, the game would be canceled.
Dirty Whale Jokes
If you’re looking for information about some unsavory characteristics of whales, you’ve come to the correct place. Here are some dirty whale jokes to help you understand the other side of the story.
Which whale makes the best sexual partner?
One that will humpback!
Do you like whales?
Well, you will love the whale in my pants after tonight.
Are you a whale?
Because I like your blow hole.
Hey girl are you a whale?
Because you are rare, interesting and THICC.
Why don’t they let whales into strip clubs?
They tend to humpback.
Are you a whale?
Because my fire fish wants to hide in your blowholes.
Whales have pretty sexual names, Sperm whale, humpback whale…
Your mom
What happens when you drop a whale on thin ice?
It breaks the ice.
Are you my baby whale?
Because I am about to make you squirt.
Do you like whales?
Because I was thinking we could Humpback at my place.
Killer Whale Jokes
The killer whale that also goes by the name of “Orca” is a toothed whale. It is the biggest member of the dolphin family. It is distinguished by its black-and-white striped body. Here are some killer whale jokes for you to enjoy.
A blue whale walks into a bar…
The bartender says “you’re too big, get outta here!”
Killer whale walks into the bar, bartender says “hell no, no killers here!”
Then a sperm whale walks in and says “can I stay?”
“Sure” says the bartender, “sperm whales are always whale-cum”
I got caught stealing a killer whale made of mahogany.
That’s orca wood.
What’s the difference between a Spanish island and an angry killer whale?
One is Menorca and the other is a mean orca
Why do killer whales find it hard to make friends?
Because they’re too orc-ward!
Did you hear about the killer whale who was able to juggle while standing on its legs?
Turns out it was just a fluke.
My friend is planning to do vasectomies on killer whales.
But he prefers the term orchestrating
What do you call a fork made from the bone of a killer whale?
Forca
Why did the killer whale go to jail for stealing all the treasure?
Because he was the one who orca-strated the heist!
What’s the difference between a killer whale and Stalin?
Killer whales don’t kill 20 million people.
Have you met my Spanish killer whale?
Mallorca?
I wanted to show my friend some music I’m orchestrating…
But they stopped me right away, saying, “this sounds like the beginning of a killer whale joke.”
What did the killer whale do when the boat came?
Swallowed all the seamen
Violent killer whales really get me off
I like to watch tilikum
Killer whales are great musicians but there’s one instrument they just won’t play
The orcana
Why does killer whale feces smell so good?
Because it’s shampoo.
What’s the difference between a killer whale and a killer dolphin?
One doesn’t have to hide the bodies.
Why did the killer whale go to jail for stealing all the diamonds?
He’s the one that orca-strated the heist!
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
How do killer whales hunt?
With a well orcastrated attack.
Killer Whales like classical music so much…
That they form Orcastras.
Who’s the tidiest of all the sea creatures?
Personally I think it’s the killer whales. They’re the best at orca-nizing
Where does a killer whale go to get braces?
The orca-dentist!
What’s a killer whale’s favorite pasta?
Penguini
Marine biologists have discovered a group of killer whales that regularly meets and plays music together.
They call it an orca-stra.
Whale Jokes for Adults
Let us now take a look at some of the whale jokes for adults. Share these jokes with your friends and you will see them bursting out with laughter.
How do you get banned from Sea World?
Free Willy.
Q: What do whales use for money?
A: Sand dollars.
How to curse like an Irishman
“Whale oil beef hooked!”
What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?
Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
Q: What’s the biggest sea animal from Scotland?
A: Wales.
What did the sperm whale have on his front porch?
A whalecum mat.
What is a whale’s favorite sandwich?
Krilled cheese!
How did the beluga respond to their beluga friend asking them to hang out?
Might as whale.
Two whales are at a bar
One turns to the other and says (obnoxious whale noises for 30 sec.)
The other then days go home steve your drunk
I can’t eat whale blubber.
I’ve tried it, I’m just not Inuit.
Whales are the saddest creatures in the world.
They always have a heavy heart.
What do you call a transgender whale?
Maby Dik
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What do whales like to draw with?
A-krill-ic paint.
Why should you never make a contract with a whale?
The whale will eventually breach it.
Whale Jokes for Kids
Here are some funny whale jokes for kids. Apart from making your kids laugh, these clean whale jokes will also teach them several interesting facts about whales.
What do whales like to chew? …
Blubber gum!
What did Columbus do with the blue whale? …
Cheered it up.
How did the octopus make the whale laugh?
With ten-tickles!
What do whales like to put on their toast? …
Jellyfish!
Why did the whale cross the road? …
To get to the other tide!
Who helps injured whales?
Sturgeons!
What do you call a grandpa whale? …
A hunch back whale!
What do polite whales say?
You’re whale-come!
What do you call a baby whale? …
A little squirt!
What was the Orca’s favourite game show?
Whale of Fortune!
What birthday party game do whales like to play?
Salmon says!
What do you call a whale from Notre Dame?
Humpback of Notre Dame!
Why do whales like salt water?
Pepper makes them sneeze!
Did you hear about the flying whale? …
Actually, its a whale of a story.
Where do whales sleep at bedtime?
In water beds!
What time is it when a whale jumps into your boat?
Time to get a new boat!
What do whales eat? …
Fish and ships.
What do you call a whale in nursery?
A little squirt!
What do whales need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
I went to an ocean themed (retirement / graduation / birthday / prom) party…
It was a whale of a time.
Final Thoughts on Whale Jokes
Thank you for spending time reading this content. We hope you were able to find what you were searching for. You must remember one thing now that you have finished the collection of whale jokes we provided with you.
There are true-to-life jokes that may bring down regimes. Many whale jokes and puns are intended to be amusing, but some may be insulting as well. When jokes go too far, they are labelled as cruel or bigoted.
But don’t worry since our selection of jokes about whales is appropriate for individuals of all ages. So, without a doubt, share them with others and you will be able to have a lot of fun.
And it would be fantastic if you could contribute any funny whale jokes that you know in the comments section below. Please also leave comments on the jokes we supplied. It would be much appreciated. Enjoy!
