140 Hilarious Frog Jokes That Will Make You Jump with Laughter
Not all of us are a fan of frogs or tadpoles although they seem very cute and colorful, still, we all love a dose of frog jokes for sure! Frogs are the most common creature that we can find roaming around usually.
Kids and their fascination with any animal, be it a frog, shark or horse is unmatchable and for this reason, we have managed to gather a bunch of frog jokes to entertain not just the kids but the adults as well.
These bug-eyed, jumpy, and slimy animals come in a variety of sizes and colors, yet they’re all equally amusing to look at (or chat about). We’ve prepared a selection of frog jokes that are quirky, punny, and extremely funny.
These frog jokes are both kid and adult-friendly, so whether you want to make a kid giggle or you just want to laugh at stupid jokes, hop onto these toad jokes before it’s too late.
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Table of Contents
Best Frog Jokes
Who doesn’t like to kill their time with some random animal jokes? Take a look at the given the best frog jokes and don’t forget to share these with your friends as well. Enjoy!
What do you get if you cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
How do we know Cane Toads have more lives than cats?
Because they croak every night!
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What did the biology teacher tell the frog?
Looks aren’t everything, it’s what inside you that really matters.
Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?
To pick the flies out from between his teeth.
What did the frog say when he went to the library?
Reddit! Reddit! Reddit!
What’s green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What does a stylish young tadpole wear once it metamorphoses?
A jumpsuit
What did the bus driver say to the frog at the bus stop?
Hop on.
What does a frog say when it sees something great?
Toadly awesome!
Explaining a Joke is like Dissecting a Frog
Everyone understands it better, but you killed it in the Process.
What do you get when you cross a frog and a popsicle?
A hopsicle!
Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom!
How does a frog pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.
What did the frog say when he entered the busy restaurant?
Wow- this place is hopping.
A little boy comes running into the room and says, “Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?”
The Grandpa says, “I don’t know, why?”
The little boy says, “Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!”
Why doesn’t Kermit the Frog like elephants?
They always want to play leap frog with him
What’s white on the outside and green on the inside?
A frog sandwich.
Funny Frog Jokes
Frogs with their grumpy face and googly eyes are still cute to a lot of people. Here are some funny frog jokes if you really consider them as interesting creatures. Check it out!
What happens when you cross a frog and a dog?
You get a croaker spaniel.
Why did the frog have to go to the hospital?
The doctor said he needed a hopperation.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hoppera.
What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!
Interestingly enough, scientists have discovered a fascinating new species of frog, named the “Romulan Pond Frog” that has an amazing way of evading predators. In the press release, scientists showed footage of the frogs using a special call that appeared to disorient predators, leaving them unable to precisely locate the frogs.
Scientists are calling this special call a “croaking device.”
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player? The frog might be on his way to a gig!
What do you get if you cross Mary Poppins and a frog?
Mary Hoppins!
What does a frog wear on St. Patrick’s day?
Nothing!
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.
What did the hipster frog say to the other hipster frog?
You’re toad-ally cool.
Why do frogs have webbed feet?
To stamp out forest fires!
Why do frogs like St. Patrick’s Day?
Because they’re already wearing green!
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
A short pole is also known as a tadpole.
What is green and red and goes around and around at 100 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender!
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a frog walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the frog’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the frog. “Your name is written inside the cover.”
What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete? Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
What’s the difference between a squashed frog on the side of the road and a banjo player?
There is a slim possibility that the frog was on its way to a gig.
Hilarious Frog Jokes
These amusing frogs with their distinctive appearance have inspired numerous toad-ally funny and creative jokes for children till now. Here are a few hilarious frog jokes to look upon.
The fly said to the frog, “time flies when you’re having fun.”
The frog replied, “Actually, time’s fun when you’re having flies!”
What do Winnie the Pooh and Kermit the frog have in common?
The same middle name.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
A frog goes into McDonald’s and orders a cheeseburger
The cashier looks at the frog and asks him: Would you like flies with that sir?
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a frog?
A bunny ribbit.
What does the frog blacksmith say?
Rivet.Rivet.Rivet. Came to me when I was a blacksmith. Not sure if someone else already thought of it.
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter. He won’t come anyway
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night!
What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?
A prince.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night.
Which frogs can jump higher than a house?
All of them – A house can’t jump.
What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a frog?
An outfielder who catches flies and then eats them.
What do frogs like to drink on a hot summer’s day?
Croak-a-Cola!
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, “Hey, look at me, I’m on a lake!” The toad yells back, “Naw man, you’re in de-nile”
How does a frog win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog said, “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?”
“No,” said the psychic, “Next semester in her biology class.”
Knock Knock Frog Jokes
We all have spent half of our childhood shooting knock knock frog jokes on each other. Catch a glimpse of some new frog jokes and share these with the kids as well because they will enjoy them the most.
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Kermit.
Kermit who?
Kermit a crime, and you’ll get locked up by the police.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Toad!
Toad who?
Toad stool
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Toad?
Toad who?
I toad you already – listen!
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
A Toad!
AToad who?
Atoadally waiting for you to answer the door!
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Toad.
Toad who?
I toad-ally love you.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Toad.
Toad who?
Toad-ally, awesome that’s what you are!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Toad.
Toad who?
“Toad” toad me that Jesus loves all the children in the world.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ribbit!
Ribbit who?
Ribbit – I’m a frog you nut!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Toad!
Toad who?
Toad you I knew all the knock knock jokes.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Mr.
Mr. who?
Mr. Toad.
Frog Jokes One Liners
No worries, if frogs aren’t your favorite animal. How about sharing some jokes on animals with your buddies. We have compiled a list of frog jokes one liners too. Keep an eye!
What is a frog’s favourite sweet?
A lollihop.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily!
I don’t always eat bacon, but when I do.. I make her shower first.
It’s really froggy on the roads tonight, drive carefully.
What did Kermit the frog say when he got to the top of the hill?
A muppet
You know that thing you TOAD me to do?
I FROGOT
We need to frogo some of our privileges so that we can help others in need.
What is a frog’s favorite time?
Leap Year!
Turn on your frog lights, it’s froggy.
What do you call a frog’s favorite soda?
Croaka-Cola!
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Frog lights!
Where do frogs deposit their money?
In a river bank.
Dark Frog Jokes
Either you love frogs or hate them, but you can’t miss this opportunity to explore dark frog jokes now. Believe us; we have dug out these frog jokes from the marshes and lily ponds for you only.
What’s white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog!
Why can’t frogs ever complete their bucket lists?
They croak before they even get started.
What’s the world’s weakest animal?
A toad, she croaks if you even touch her!
If you give a frog paper, it’ll rip-it.
Did you hear about the immortal frog? They took out his vocal cords so he couldn’t croak!
Ever heard a frog fart? If not, you ain’t squeezing him hard enough.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
A man walks into a doctor’s office with a frog growing out of his head.
“My god!” Says the doctor “How did that happen?”
“It all started with a pimple on my bum.” replies the frog.
I’d like a new frog, please. But you bought one only yesterday. What happened?
It Kermit-ted suicide.
What did the frog say when he found out that he had been dumped.
I wish you’d toad me earlier.
Dirty Frog Jokes
We all are quite familiar with all the frog memes wandering around on the internet. We have also brought a bunch of dirty frog jokes that you have never heard or read before.
What do you call an animal that’s part Frog, part Duck, part Elephant and part Rhino?
Fuckephino
Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
He had his own frog horn!
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Went to a Japanese restaurant and ordered toad legs
Miso Horny, as they called it
I took my three year old for a walk and he started crying because I accidentally stood on a toad stool.
Not sure why he was so upset, I’m the one with frog shit on my shoe.
A frog has his DNA tested…
Turns out, he was part Irish, part British and a tad Pole.
What does Kermit the frog’s finger smell like?
Bacon.
What does a socially awkward and depressed frog say?
Reddit!
Where do frogs keep their treasure ?
In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!
What do you call a toad that crosses the road, jumps in a muddy puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
Kermit the Frog is in an interrogation room and refuses to say anything.
Two interrogators are discussing what to do. One of the men excitedly turns to the other and says, “shove your hand up his ass, that’ll make him talk!”
Mrs Piggy was giving Kermit the Frog a blowjob
You could say she had a frog in her throat
Clean Frog Jokes
Looking for a few clean frog jokes? Well, then keep yourself hooked till the end because this hub is going to cover a unique collection of frog jokes, safe for people of all ages.
What happened to the frog’s car when his parking meter expired?
It goat toad!
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad!
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling at Christmas?
Mistletoad.
What happens if a frog parks on double yellow lines?
He gets toad away.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series all about frogs?
The plot is ribbiting
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog
Why does the witch fly on a broomstick?
She found out her car was being a toad again!
What’s green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
What do you get when you cross a frog and a potato?
A potatoad
Why are frogs such good liars?
Because they are am-FIB-ians
What did the frog say about meeting new frogs?
He never met a morphosis he didn’t like.
If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That’s what people remember.
What’s the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border
How can you tell if a frog doesn’t have ears?
You yell “Free Flies” and he doesn’t come.
Frog Jokes for adults
Now that you are here reading this, we all can conclude that this is the best page to find all kinds of frog jokes. But the good part is, we are not done yet! Get your hands on dirty frog jokes for adults too!
A Toad Walks Into A Bar…..
Three women shout with excitement, run over to him, shower him with kisses and leave. “What was that all about?” a man asked the bartender. The bartender replied, “He’s a little Horny.”
A frog decided to trace his genealogy one day…
He discovered he was a Tad Polish.
How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
They sit eggsaminations !
What sound does a horny toad make?
Rubbit
What did Miss Piggy say when asked on a date?
Sorry, I’m in a Kermitted relationship.
What does a two year old call a handsome frog in a tuxedo?
A Heartfrob!
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says ribbit ribbit, and thie other one says rub-it rub-it!
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!
An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, “If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any sexual favor you desire!”
The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket.
“Aren’t you going to kiss me?” said the frog.
“I’m 75, I’d rather have a talking frog!”
Why didn’t the female frog lay eggs ?
Because her husband spawned her affections!
Miss piggy has filed for divorce from Kermit the frog. Why?
Because Kermit converted to Judaism and can no longer eat pork.
A man goes to a doctor with a large, dirty toad on his head.
The doctor asks, “What seems to be the problem?”
And the toad replies, “Hey, Doc, there’s something stuck to my ass.”
Frog Jokes for Kids
Kids and their obsession with creatures be it reptiles or amphibians is unreal. Take a screenshot or read out loud these frog jokes for kids to them and wait till you see them turn green in hoppiness.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes at school?
It kept jumping to the wrong conclusions.
Why did the frog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.
What’s Kermit’s favourite fast food?
French flies!
What is Kermit the Frog’s favourite crisp flavour?
Croaky bacon!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?
SPLAT!!! He didn’t.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What do you get when you cross a frog and a toaster?
A toadster
How does a frog feel if it breaks its leg?
Very unhoppy
How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One frog and 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.
A Rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder…
The bartender asks, Hey buddy, where did you get that?
The frog responds, Brooklyn, they’re all over the place!
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!
What book do frog parents read to their kids before bedtime?
Hop on Pop.
Final Thoughts on Frog Jokes
Since no one is more interested than kids in nature and its creatures, all kinds of animal jokes are mostly enjoyed and appreciated by them. Frog jokes are one of those kinds that kids love to share with each other.
As kids enjoy a good joke and are ready to reward adult humor with their contagious laughter, toad jokes are an amazing way to keep them entertained every now and then.
Puns like frog jokes or shark jokes can serve as a very unique way to build up an interest in a child’s mind regarding animals. They would definitely remember them whenever they spot a frog or a toad nearby.
Also, to all the dads out there seeking the silly dad jokes for their kids, these funny jokes about frogs can do wonders for you because after all, with kids one has to act like a kid!
Have a great midday chuckle with your fam!
