157 Hilarious Sports Jokes to Bring Out Your Inner Athlete

Welcome to the site, sports fans and comedy fans! We are about to go on a lovely voyage that mixes the worlds of comedy and sports.

Life is like riding a bicycle, famous physicist Albert Einstein famously remarked. You have to keep moving to maintain your balance.

Similarly to this, in the world of athletics, striking a balance between talent and good humor can make all the difference.

We offer a selection of hilarious sports jokes that will unleash your inner athlete with a dash of wit and humor. You will definitely love these jokes about sports.

Best Sports Jokes

Get ready for a laughter marathon that would have even the most serious athletes rolling on the floor with laughter by fastening your laces.

How do lacrosse players deliver their messages?
They do it by Air Mail.

Why did the soccer ball decide to quit the team?
Well, he became tired of getting kicked around.

Which goalie has the ability to jump higher than any crossbar?
All of them do. Because crossbars can’t really jump.

Why are all the soccer players good at math?
Because they all know how to make use of their heads.

What would you give any hockey player when they demand to get paid?
A check.

What would you get if you cross a carpet and a quarterback?
A throw rug.

Why didn’t the defensive end pass his tests?
Because he was the tackling dummy.

What gets harder to catch as you keep running faster?
Your breath.

What’s the similarity between a football team and scrambled eggs?
It’s that they both have been beaten.

What would you call a football player that has long legs and who builds houses?
They’d be called a car-punter.

Why did the football coach have to go back to the bank?
To get his quarterback.

Why are all the frogs really good at basketball?
It’s because they can always make jump shots.

What would you call a monkey who has won back to back titles?
A Champion.

Why do baseball games happen at night?
It’s because bats usually sleep during the day.

What is the main rule for zebra baseball?
It’s ‘three strikes and you’re out.’

Why shouldn’t you ever date any tennis player?
Because love doesn’t mean anything to them.

Funny Sports Jokes

Get ready to stretch those laughter muscles as we dive into the world where sports and comedy collide! It is going to be so interesting and funny.

Why are basketball players such messy eaters?
They’re always dribbling.

Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They aren’t allowed to travel.

Why doesn’t Albany have a professional basketball team?
Because then New York City would want one, too.

Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
Dunkin’ Donuts.

What do you call the basketball play where you drink too much and then score?
Slam Drunk.

What do prison guards, and basketball guards have in common?
They’re both supposed to protect you.

If a basketball player gets athlete’s foot, what’s an astronaut get?
Missile Toe!

What’s Prince Charles’ favorite American basketball team?
Sacramento Kings.

Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens?
Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.

What does a basketball player do once he loses his sight?
Become a referee.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.

Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
He was afraid of the net.

What’s the difference between Kobe Bryant and time?
Time actually passes.

Why are frogs so good at basketball?
They always make the jump shots.

Hilarious Sports Jokes

Keep your seats firmly in place, people, because we are about to delve into a hilarious world of sports humor!

What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath!

What kinds of stories do basketball players tell?
Tall tales!

How is a baseball team similar to a pancake?
They both need a good batter!

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a boxer!

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!

Why do basketball players love cookies and milk?
Because they can dunk them!

What is an insect’s favorite sport?
Cricket!

How do football players deal with their problems?
They tackle them head on!

Where does a hockey player get all his money?
From the tooth fairy!

Why did the chicken get ejected from the basketball game?
Because there was so much fowl play!

What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch you later!

What do football players wear for Halloween?
Face masks!

Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she is always running away from the ball!

Why did the Yankees sign a contract with a baker?
They needed a new batter!

What is your favorite sports joke?
Leave a comment!

Knock Knock Sports Jokes

To paraphrase Sir Isaac Newton, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,” there is a punch line ready to make you laugh for every knock.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Harvey.
Harvey who?
Harvey playing this game forever?

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Andy.
Andy who?
Andy winner of today’s game is…

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Fred.
Fred who?
Fred I can’t come to play today.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
It’s Scold.
Scold who?
Scold enough out there that we could go ice skating.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe you come over to play?

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
It’s Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone in this city play any soccer?

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Amy.
Amy who?
The team’s always Amy for the top.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
I’m Meow.
Meow who?
Take meow to that soccer game.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Adelia.
Adelia who?
Adelia some cards and we will play poker.

Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Les.
Les who?
Les go and play some basketball.

Sports Jokes One Liners

In the field of athletics, conciseness can spark a lot of hilarity! We present to you a selection of one-liner sports jokes that deliver a punch of laughter in a single syllable.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually, it came back to me.

I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.

Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?

If procrastination was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.

I’m taking part in a stair climbing competition. Guess I better step up my game.

If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA.

My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess.

I tried water polo but my horse drowned.

If you run in front of a car you’ll get tired, but if you run behind the car you’ll get exhausted.

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharaoh’s court.

I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.

What race is never run?
A swimming race.

They used to time me with a stopwatch… now they use a calendar.

I am known at the gym as the “before picture.”

What’s the best place to shop for a soccer shirt?
New Jersey!

What tea do hockey players drink?
Penal tea!

Short Sports Jokes

They say good things come in small packages, and that’s certainly true when it comes to short and brief sports jokes!

Why did the football quit the team?
It was tired of being kicked around!

Where do catchers sit at lunch?
Behind the plate.

Which team is the chewiest?
The Toffees!

What’s the chilliest ground in the Premiership?
Cold Trafford!

Why do basketball players like cookies?
It’s just another excuse to dunk.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch soccer?
They watch cricket, instead.

Why did the Braves hire a baker?
They needed a new batter.

Why are some umpires chubby?
It’s their job to clean their plates.

What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?
Tee!

Why was the golfer wearing two pairs of pants to the game?
She did it in case she got any holes in any one of them.

Why couldn’t anyone see the soccer ball?
The defense cleared it.

Why are footballers like babies?
They both dribble!

What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?
They prefer cricket!

What are the rules for zebra baseball?
Three strikes and you’re out.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.

What happens when a dinosaur gets a goal?
A dino-score.

Which football team loves ice-cream?
Aston Vanilla!

Which baseball player holds water?
The pitcher.

Clean Sports Jokes

In a world where sportsmanship and camaraderie take center stage, we present to you a delightful collection of clean sports jokes that will keep you entertained without crossing the limits.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
One steals watches and one watches steals.

Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.

How do baseball players keep in touch?
They touch base every once in a while.

What kind of tea do football players drink?
Penal-tea.

Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raises them both, he’d fall down.

Why couldn’t the defensive end pass any of his tests?
He was a tackling dummy.

Why was Cinderella bad in sports?
Her coach was a pumpkin and she ran away from the ball.

What do you get when you cross a running back and the Invisible Man?
Scoring like no one has ever seen.

Why can’t you play soccer in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!

Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?
Supposedly he’s a whistleblower.

Why was the basketball court wet?
Because people were dribbling on it!

When should baseball players wear armour?
When they’re playing knight games.

Why did the basketball player go to jail?
Because he shot the ball.

Dirty Sports Jokes

It’s time to let go and laugh indecently, till your cheeks hurt from smiling. These dirty sports jokes will surely push the boundaries of laughter.

My friend Jack got busted performing sexual favors in his sports club’s locker room…
Now Jack’s off the team.

What do a sports referee and a porn star have in common?
Their living depends on blow job
At age 25 men play basketball
At age 40 men play tennis
At age 60 men play golf
The moral of the story is the older you get the smaller your balls get

If Dick’s Sporting Goods and Kay Jewelers were merge, what would their slogan be?
Every Kiss begins with Dick’s?

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don’t care if he doesn’t win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, “Come on My Face.”

Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world?
All women; they never allow any ball enters.

Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?
That way they can both watch wrestling.

I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer. Me: “Okay, this isn’t working out.”

What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers?
If the rubber breaks, they’re in deep shit!

Dad shouts: “Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!” Son: “Dad… I’m not watching porn that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!”

Paddy asks Murphy, ‘Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?” Murphy replies, “If they fell forwards they’d still be on the f*cking boat!”

What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
Chelsea.

I hope you’re into yoga, because you’re going to get a good stretch tonight.

Son: “What’s love juice daddy?”
Me: “It’s what 2 people make when they’re having exciting sex. Anyway?
What are you watching?”
Son: “Wimbledon.”

Sports Jokes for Adults

It’s time for some adult jokes! Even the most seasoned sports fans are guaranteed to find these jokes amusing since they have a dash of wit and a dash of mischief.

What does a hockey play and a magician have in common?
They both do hat tricks.

Why did the boy climb up the tree with a hockey stick?
Because he wanted to join the maple leafs.

Why are hockey rinks rounded?
Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

Why do hipsters love field hockey?
Because it’s ice hockey before it gets cool.

What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?
The Zam-bony.

Hockey players are known for their summer teeth.
Summer here, summer there.

Where does a majority of a hockey player’s salary come from?
The tooth fairy.

Why do the Germans always get beat by the Canadians in hockey?
Canadians bring the “eh” game, while Germans bring their worst.

Hockey players are like goldfish.
Just tap on the glass to get their attention.

My friend and I visited Canada together for the first time.
We went to a fight, and a hockey game broke out.

Why are hockey players so good at making friends?
They’re quick to break the ice.

What’s the difference between hockey and wrestling?
In hockey, the fights are real.

How do hockey players kiss?
They pucker up.

How many teeth does a hockey player have?
Don’t you mean tooth?

Why didn’t Jesus play hockey?
Because soccer and baseball are much more popular in Mexico.

Sports Jokes for Kids

Hello kids! These jokes will make you laugh whether you’re an aspiring athlete or just enjoy a good chuckle and you might even start doing a victory dance.

What is an insect’s favourite sport?
Cricket

what happens to be the hardest part when it comes to skydiving?
It’s the ground.

Why is tennis a really loud sport?
It’s because the players raise quite a racket.

Why did the golfer carry two shirts?
In case he got a hole in one.

Why are hockey rinks always rounded?
Because if they were 90 degrees, then the ice would melt.

Why are hockey players good at making friends?
It’s probably because they’re pretty quick at breaking the ice.

What is the hardest part of skydiving?
The ground

why didn’t the skeleton play golf?
His heart wasn’t in it

why is tennis such a loud sport?
The players raise a racquet.

What is a golfer’s favourite number?
Four!

At what sports do waiters do really well?
Tennis, as they serve very well.

Do you go rock climbing?
I would if I were boulder!

Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!

Why should bowling alleys be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!

How do you start a firefly race?
Answer: Ready, set, glow!

Sports Jokes about Fans

As we celebrate the passionate supporters who make sports events come alive, it’s time to enjoy a round of jokes that shine the spotlight on loyal fans.

Why is the Stadium the coolest place to be?
It’s full of fans

why it is so hot at a Phillies game?
Because they don’t have many fans.

How do you spot a Tennessee fan at a wedding?
Look for the guy in the orange t-shirt.

Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans…
They always root for the away team

why were sports stadiums so much cooler pre-COVID?
Because there were so many more fans.

Why couldn’t the fans get soda pop at the double header?
Because the home team lost the opener.

What do a hockey game and an airboat have in common?
Answer: Loud fans.

I asked a golf fan and a race fan what their favorite thing was about the sport.
They both said they like to watch people drive

how do baseball players stay cool?
They sit next to the fans.

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

Final Thoughts

As we reach the finish line of this uproarious journey through the world of sports jokes, it’s clear that humor and athleticism make a winning combination.

From the best jokes that rose above the competition to the knock-knock punch lines that opened the door to laughter, we’ve experienced a rollercoaster of hilarity.

Whether you’re a sports fanatic seeking a good laugh or simply someone looking to brighten their day, these jokes about sports have brought us together in shared laughter.

So, as you navigate the unpredictable game of life, remember to embrace the joy, camaraderie, and sheer delight that humor can bring.