211 Best Spider Jokes You Could Ever Find on the Web
As the famous quote goes, laughter is the best medicine and what better way to unwind and entertain ourselves than with some good spider jokes!
With over 45,000 known species of spiders, these eight-legged creatures are a fascinating topic to joke about.
And whether you suffer from arachnophobia or not, these jokes about spiders are enough to make anyone chuckle.
From puns to one-liners, we’ve scoured the web to bring you the best spider jokes that are guaranteed to spin your mood in a positive direction.
So, buckle up and get ready to weave through the web of the best spider jokes you could ever find!
You May Also Be Interested In:
Table of Contents
Best Spider Jokes
Brace yourself for these best spider jokes that will leave you in stitches. We promise, these eight-legged creatures can be funny! Take a look!
Why did the spider go to school?
To learn spinning, arithmetic, and web design!
What do you call a spider that can dance?
A jitterbug!
Why did the spider become a web designer?
Because it knew how to create stunning sites!
How do you spot a cool spider?
It has shades and spins its web to the beat!
What do you get when you cross a spider with an ear of corn?
Cobwebs!
Why did the spider become a detective?
It had a great eye for catching bugs!
What’s a spider’s favorite TV show?
The Itsy Bitsy Spider!
How do you make a spider laugh?
Tickle its web!
What did the spider say when it broke its web?
“Darn it, now I’m stuck with sticky fingers!”
What do you call a spider that can sing?
A black widow!
Why did the spider join a gym?
To build up its web muscles!
What do you call a spider that can dance the cha-cha?
A tarantango!
How does a spider navigate the internet?
It uses its web browser!
What do spiders order at a restaurant?
Eight legs of spaghetti!
What do you get when you cross a spider and a bee?
A website that’s always buzzing!
Why don’t spiders play hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
What do you call a spider with a short temper?
A hot-headed black widow!
How do you make a spider smile?
Say something funny and watch it crack up its exoskeleton!
Why did the spider join the circus?
It wanted to show off its incredible web-slinging skills!
Why did the spider become a gardener?
It loved working with plants and spinning a web of green!
What did the spider say when it landed on a computer screen?
“I love the worldwide web, but this is too sticky for me!”
Why did the spider take a vacation?
It needed some time to unwind and spin a hammock!
Funny Spider Jokes
We’ve scoured the entire web to bring you the most hilarious spider jokes around. Get ready to chuckle with our collection of the best arachnid humor out there. Let’s spin some webs of laughter!
Why did the spider become a successful entrepreneur?
It knew how to spin a web of business opportunities!
What do you call a spider who can’t hide his secrets?
A blabber-web!
Why did the spider become an artist?
It had a great eye for web design!
How do spiders communicate when they’re mad?
They send each other hate webs!
Why did the spider become an architect?
It wanted to build a world-class web-scape!
How do you recognize a well-dressed spider?
It wears a stylish webbing!
What do you call a spider that likes to bowl?
A strike-crawler!
Why did the spider get a job as a police officer?
It wanted to catch all the web criminals!
What do you call a spider that can play the piano?
A creepy-crawly maestro!
Why did the spider start a rock band?
It knew how to spin catchy tunes!
How do spiders communicate their romantic feelings?
They send love notes on silky threads!
What do you call a spider with no friends?
A loner-arachnid!
Why did the spider start a fashion blog?
It had a great sense of web-style!
How do spiders stay healthy?
They engage in web-robics!
What do you call a spider that can act in movies?
A real web-star!
Why did the spider go to school?
To brush up on its web development skills!
What’s a spider’s favorite ice cream flavor?
Rocky Road!
Why did the spider start a stand-up comedy career?
It had a talent for spinning funny stories!
What do you call a spider that can jump really high?
A spring-legged spinner!
Why did the spider take a job as a computer programmer?
It enjoyed working on the inter-web!
Why did the spider become a motivational speaker?
It knew how to spin positive webs of inspiration!
What do you call a spider that just got married?
A newly-web!
How did the spider improve its dance moves?
It took tango lessons with a partner on the web!
Hilarious Spider Jokes
These spider jokes are perfect for bringing a little levity to your conversations and putting a smile on your face. Plus, we guarantee you won’t find these gems anywhere else on the web. Get ready to laugh out loud!
What do you call a spider with a sense of humor?
A joker-web!
Why did the spider become a stand-up comedian?
It had a great delivery and knew how to spin a good yarn!
What do you get when you cross a spider and an octopus?
A lot of legs in a tangled mess!
Why did the spider go to therapy?
It had a case of webxiety!
How do spiders communicate underwater?
Through octo-webpus signals!
What do you call a spider with no friends?
A web-loser!
Why don’t spiders use the internet?
They already have the best connection through their webs!
Why was the spider hired as a comedian?
It had a natural ability to spin funny tales!
How did the spider become a bestselling author?
It weaved a captivating web of stories!
What do you get when you cross a spider with a clown?
A lot of silly legs!
Why did the spider get a job as a detective?
It could always catch the culprits in its web!
How do you break up a spider party?
Call the exterminator!
What did one spider say to the other during a game of hide-and-seek?
“I see you, but I won’t web-veal your hiding spot!”
Why was the spider so good at baseball?
It had a great swing and could always catch a fly ball!
Why did the spider get a smartphone?
It wanted to keep up with the latest web trends!
How does a spider celebrate Halloween?
By throwing a web-sational party!
What do you get when you cross a spider with a potato?
Spud-erwebs!
How do spiders settle disputes?
They have web-based arguments!
What’s a spider’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
How did the spider win the talent show?
It wowed the crowd with its incredible web-strument playing!
What did the spider say to the fly on Halloween?
“Trick or web-treat?”
Why don’t spiders play cards in the wild?
They’re always caught in a web of cheating!
How do spiders express their love?
They spin heart-shaped webs!
Short Spider Jokes
Looking for a laugh? These spider jokes have got you covered! They may be short, but don’t let that fool you – they’re guaranteed to leave everyone around you chuckling.
What do you call a spider with no legs?
A snowflake.
Why did the spider become a web designer?
It had great networking skills.
Why did the spider join a rock band?
It knew how to spin some amazing tracks.
How do spiders stay connected?
They use the internet and Wi-Fi.
Why did the spider take up knitting?
It wanted to make some web sweaters.
What do you get when you cross a spider and a computer?
A website.
What’s a spider’s favorite sport?
Web surfing.
Why did the spider become a boxer?
It had great eight-punch combinations.
What do spiders learn in school?
Web development.
What do you call a spider that can play the guitar?
A web-stringer.
Why did the spider start a podcast?
It had a lot of web stories to share.
What’s a spider’s favorite snack?
Mosquitoes.
Why did the spider start a new business?
It wanted to spin its own web of success.
How do spiders communicate their emotions?
Through web expressions.
Why did the spider go to school?
To become a better web designer.
How do spiders send messages?
They use email and spinmail.
What do you call a spider that can juggle?
A web-spinner.
Why did the spider go to the beach?
To catch some sand flies.
What’s a spider’s favorite TV show?
The Web of Fortune.
How does a spider start a phone call?
With a web-signal.
Why did the spider become an astronaut?
It wanted to explore new web-universes.
Spider Jokes One Liners
Did you know that spider webs can have hundreds of lines? But when it comes to spider jokes, all you need is one line to get a laugh-out-loud punchline. Check out these one-liners spider jokes and get ready for some arachnid humor!
How does a spider celebrate Valentine’s Day? It gives its web a love bug.
What do you call a spider with a knack for comedy? A web comic.
Why did the spider become a police officer? It wanted to catch fly-ters.
What do you get when you cross a spider and an owl? A webmaster.
How do you make a spider giggle? Tickle its arachnoid.
Why did the spider go broke? It invested all its money in the stock market.
How does a spider communicate on the internet? Through its web browser.
Why did the spider take up knitting? To make web sweaters.
How does a spider navigate its way through the city? It uses spider-apps.
Why did the spider become a sailor? It wanted to explore new web-ventures.
What do you get when you cross a spider and a snowman? Frostbite.
How does a spider order its food? Through the web-serve.
Why did the spider join a band? It could spin some amazing tracks.
How does a spider access the internet? It logs in to the World Wide Web.
What did the spider say to the computer? “Web you ready for a great time?”
Why did the spider take up yoga? To improve its flexibility in spinning webs.
Clean Spider Jokes
In this section, we’ve got some clean spider jokes that will prove these eight-legged creatures can be hilarious. Don’t believe us? Check them out for yourself!
Why did the spider become an artist?
It loved drawing its web-servations.
What did the spider say to the fly caught in its web?
“Dinner is served!”
What do you call a polite spider?
A “webster.”
How did the spider become a top chef?
It mastered the art of web seasoning.
What’s a spider’s favorite sport?
Web-boarding.
What do you get when you cross a spider with an octopus?
A lot of legs in a tangled mess.
What do you call a spider with a good sense of direction?
A navigation-web.
How does a spider tell time?
It checks its web-watch.
What did the spider say to its friend?
“You spin me right round, baby, right round!”
Why did the spider start a band?
It could spin catchy web-songs.
What’s a spider’s favorite mode of transportation?
Spin bikes.
Why did the spider start a blog?
It had a lot of web-surfing tips to share.
How did the spider become a rock star?
It knew how to spin a web of music.
Why did the spider go to the dance?
To show off its amazing web-foot coordination.
What do you call a spider with an outgoing personality?
A social-bug.
How do spiders celebrate birthdays?
They throw web-sational parties.
Why did the spider go to the computer repair shop?
Its web was full of bugs.
What did the spider say to the fly at the party?
“You’re really buzzing around tonight!”
How does a spider stay healthy?
By engaging in web-robics.
What did the spider say to its friend who was feeling down?
“Don’t worry, everything will spin out just fine!”
Why did the spider start a job in customer service?
It could always spin a good conversation.
Dirty Spider Jokes
Do spiders make you feel uneasy? No worries, inject some hilarity to ease the tension. Check out this list of dirty spider jokes and turn those heebie-jeebies into laughs!
I once tried to kill a spider with axe bodyspray
But he survived and now won’t shut the fuck up about crossfit
A man was watching a spider building a web. He thought, “I wish I could build a home out of my ass!”
But his results just turned out like shit.
Holy shit there’s a spider under my keyboard
I think it’s under control
A male spider meets a female spider…
He tells her: “Let’s have dinner.”
Offended, she replies: “At least fuck me first!”
Spider Jokes for Adults
These jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone, but fair warning, they’re for adults only. Get ready for some spider-themed humor that is bound to have you rolling on the floor.
Why did the spider become a computer programmer?
Because it found the web interesting!
How do you spot a sophisticated spider?
It wears a web tie!
What do you call a spider who can navigate the internet?
An “Arachno-nerd”!
Why was the spider expelled from school?
It was caught surfing the web!
What do you call a spider with a great personality?
A char-mantula!
Why did the spider go to therapy?
It had separation anxiety from its web!
What did the spider say to the fly at the cocktail party?
“Nice wings, are they organic?”
How do spiders communicate online?
Through instant web messaging!
What do you call a spider with a successful music career?
A web-slinger!
Why did the spider apply for a job as a web designer?
It wanted to spin its skills!
How do spiders stay fit?
They do web-ercise!
What’s a spider’s favorite ride at the amusement park?
The roller-coaster web!
Why did the spider go to the dance club?
It wanted to practice its web-slinging moves!
How does a spider navigate through the city?
It uses the spider-ways!
What do you call a spider with no legs?
A raisin!
Why did the spider start a fashion blog?
It wanted to share its web trends!
What do you call a spider that’s a skilled detective?
A web-sleuth!
Why did the spider bring a ladder to the party?
It wanted to reach new heights!
What’s a spider’s favorite exercise equipment?
The web-master!
How do spiders celebrate their birthdays?
They have a web-bash!
Why did the spider audition for a Broadway musical?
It wanted to become a web-star!
What do you call a spider with an attitude?
A grumpy web-slinger!
Why did the spider join a rock band?
It loved playing guitar with its many legs!
How did the spider fix its broken web?
It used spider tape!
What did the spider say to the mosquito at the restaurant?
“You’re in for a sticky situation!”
Why did the spider start its own business?
It wanted to be a web-entrepreneur!
What do you call a spider that can play the piano?
Arachno-Chopin!
Why do spiders make good baseball players?
They know how to catch flies!
Spider Jokes for Kids
Are you looking for some hilarious spider jokes to share with your little ones? We’ve got a bunch that are guaranteed to keep you both giggling all day long. Give them a try and prepare for some serious laughs!
Why did the spider bring a computer to class?
It wanted to take notes on the web!
What do spiders use when they go on a school trip?
A spider backpack!
Why don’t spiders get stuck in their own webs?
They know all the secret passages!
What do you call a spider with no web?
A lost spinner!
Why did the spider become a baseball player?
It loved catching flies!
How do spiders stay warm in the winter?
They wear spider sweaters!
What did the spider say to the bee?
“Buzz off, I’m busy spinning my web!”
What’s a spider’s favorite sport?
Web-slinging!
Why did the spider join a band?
It could play the drums with its eight legs!
What do you call a spider who can’t spin webs?
A klutz-ard!
How do spiders send messages?
They use the inter-web!
How do you know if a spider is good at math?
It can count all its legs!
What do spiders do for fun?
They organize web parties!
Why did the spider go to the library?
It wanted to find a good book on web design!
What do spiders do on their vacation?
They go on web-sites!
How do spiders greet each other?
They say, “Web you doing?”
Why did the spider bring a ladder to the concert?
It wanted to get a better web-sight!
What did the spider say to the fly who wanted to borrow money?
“Sorry, but I can’t lend you any web currency!”
How does a spider fix a toy?
It uses web glue!
What do you call a spider who can play the guitar?
A rock-web-star!
Why did the spider bring a map to school?
It didn’t want to get tangled up in the wrong web!
What’s a spider’s favorite kind of cake?
Devil’s food spider cake!
Why don’t spiders drive cars?
They prefer to use their web-ster cards!
Why did the spider bring an umbrella to the party?
In case it started raining bugs!
What did the spider say to the raindrop?
“Stop following me, I’m not a web-lebrity!”
Spider Jokes and Puns
Check out this collection of hilarious spider jokes and puns! You’re bound to find one that’ll tickle your funny bone. Go ahead and give them a try!
Why don’t spiders like going on field trips?
They prefer learning through the web.
What’s a spider’s favorite hobby?
Surfing the web.
How do spiders communicate?
Through the World Wide Web.
What did the spider say to the fly at the barbecue?
“You’re really winging it!”
Why did the spider break up with its girlfriend?
She was too clingy.
What’s a spider’s favorite instrument?
The web-ster.
Why did the spider become a detective?
It had a knack for spinning webs of intrigue.
How did the spider become an architect?
It specialized in web design.
What do you call a spider who just got married?
A newly webbed couple.
How do spiders celebrate Halloween?
They throw web-solutely spooktacular parties.
What did the spider say when it broke its leg?
“I’m all tangled up!”
Why don’t spiders play cards in the wild?
Too many cheetahs.
What’s a spider’s favorite band?
The Black Widows.
Why did the spider go to the computer repair shop?
Its web browser wasn’t working.
How does a spider’s diet affect its web?
It becomes a “well-threaded” masterpiece.
Why did the spider go to the library?
It wanted to catch up on its web-reading.
What do you call a spider with a successful business?
A web-entrepreneur.
What did the spider say to the fly in the kitchen?
“I’m spinning you a tale of temptation!”
Why do spiders make great baseball players?
They know how to catch flies.
What did one spider say to the other while on a mission?
“Let’s spin this web of intrigue.”
How do spiders get around?
They use the inter-web.
What’s a spider’s favorite type of music?
Trap.
What do you call a spider that’s been elected president?
A web-master.
Why did the spider start a band?
It had a talent for web-slinging guitar solos.
How do spiders travel long distances?
By using the World Wide Web!
Final Thoughts
All in all, we hope you’ve had a few laughs from this collection of jokes about spiders.
Whether you chased them away or simply observed their eight legs in amazement, there’s something fascinatingly humorous when it comes to these creepy crawlies.
Don’t forget to try and spread the humor by sharing one of these jokes with your friends and family!
We would also love to hear what kind of spider jokes you know.
Please comment in the comments section about this post – let us know if dressing up like an arachnid made you chuckle or if these goofball riddles tickled your funny bone.
Let’s compare notes on what kind of spider funniness makes us all giggle!
