133 Hilarious Shark Jokes That Will Get You Hooked on Laughing
We all can agree that shark jokes are scarily finny! Thus, if you are seeking some jokes on the shark for a little laugh then you have landed at the right place, exactly.
Though it’s hard to wrap our heads around the fact that sharks, despite being the deadliest predators on the earth, can be pretty fun too but one thing which we can assure you of is shark jokes are one the hilarious kinds of jokes.
Whether it’s baby shark jokes, monster shark jokes, white shark jokes, or just simple shark gags, all these puns can always tickle the humorous side of our personality.
Therefore, if you are the “Mr. funny bone” in your family and friends who loves to make people laugh, we guess it’s a perfect place for you to explore all these kinds of funny shark jokes to bring a smile to other people’s faces.
Let’s dive into the jaw-some collection!
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Table of Contents
Best Shark Jokes
If you are wondering what could be the best shark jokes, then we guess it’s time to sit back and enjoy this ideal compilation of shark jokes to nourish your funny bones.
What did one shark say to the other after eating a clownfish?
Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.
What should you do if you see a shark?
Swim away
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.Personally, I think it’s the sea.
PETER: What’s the best tool in the ocean?
JAKE: Tell me.
PETER: A hammerhead shark.
A shark teaching his son “Always circle around these humans 5 times before eating them”
The son replied ” Why can’t I just eat them directly ?”
The shark replied ” well, if you wanna eat them along with their feces it’s your choice”
I asked a friend if he remembered the theme to Jaws. He said “yes, it’s about a shark that keeps eating people”.
What happened when the shark got famous?
He became a starfish.
What’s a shark’s favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What did the shark say to the surfer?
“Come on in, the water’s fine!”
Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive? You stop pretending!
What did the young shark get for Christmas?
Nothing! Sharks don’t celebrate Christmas!!!!!!!
What was the college student sharks favorite internet site?
Finsbook
A shark was swimming around looking for food and he catches a squid.
The squid says: “Don’t eat me, I’m really sick!”
So the shark says: “Fine, I won’t eat you. But I know just what to do with you…”
The shark takes the squid to his friend and says: “Here’s the sick squid I owe you.”
Had to swim away from a shark the other day in my swimming trunks. No idea how he got into them.
Funny Shark Jokes
Out of all the animal jokes, ‘horse puns’, ‘wolf puns’ or, ‘chicken puns’, it’s always the “shark puns” that take the cake. Have a look at some funny shark jokes down below and don’t forget to share them in your circle as well.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by sharks. When I woke up, I realised it was just a bream!
Arguing with strangers online is like wrestling sharks. Even if you win, it was a really stupid thing to do.
What do you get if you cross a shark with a Rottweiler?
An abomination unto God Himself
I was at the beach yesterday when I saw a man swimming in the sea despite the shark warnings.He duly got attacked by a shark and lost a leg.I bet he’s kicking himself now.
What is the average sharks favorite movie
The Shaw-Shark Redemption
What do you call a Hammerhead Shark who’s operating a Drill Rig?
A Flathead Screw driver.
DYLAN: What kind of vitamins do sharks eat?
AARON: No idea.
DYLAN: Vitamin sea.
How do you call a shark that slaps the hell out of people instead of eating them?
A manyeeter
Did you hear about the musician who borrowed money from a loan shark?
He’s in a whole lot of treble.
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What did the shark say to the spear fisherman?
“Please, spear me the pain!”
What was the sharks favorite B-52s song?
Love Shark
How did the angry shark ask for his meal?
He said, “Where is my bloody lunch?”
There was this boy who was getting chased by a shark at night what happened next?
He woke up.
Vending machines kill more people every year than sharks
Obviously, how’s a vending machine going to kill a shark?
Hilarious Shark Jokes
Want some hilarious shark jokes to have a good laugh with your friends at the beach? Well, then do not look any further, because this hub has got quite a number of jokes on the shark. Take a peek!
If you thought it was expensive to go swimming with dolphins, you should try swimming with sharks. . .it cost me an arm and a leg!
How did they know the victim of the shark attack had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders on the beach.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite
What’s worse than being bitten by a shark?
Being bitten by a vampire shark
Why are shark comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
CASEN: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
AUSTIN: I’m stumped.
CASEN: “Santa Jaws!”
A shark, crocodile, and a giant spider walk into a bar. There’s no punchline, it’s just a normal day in Australia
Why were the other fish calling the shark gay?
He swallowed all of the seamen.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
As far away as possible.
What lie will a shark always tell a human?
“I promise to take just one bite.”
Why did the shark commit suicide?
He was tired of feeling like he was swimming in circles
How did the whale compliment the talented shark?
It said, “You have some-fin special in you.”
I’m not saying my grandpa was unlucky but he died in the middle of the desert.
Witnesses said it was the most unusual shark attack they’ve ever seen.
God asked Adam to name the animals
Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig…
Then God said, You must name the sea animals, too.
Adam was tired already, so he said, Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…
Knock Knock Shark Jokes
From children to elderly people, knock knock are jokes are appreciated and liked by everyone almost. Catch a glimpse of shark knock knock jokes if you haven’t heard them in a long time.
Knock Knock
Who’s there
A shark
A shark who?
A shark who just ate your family and now im going to eat you
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Otto
Otto who?
Otto be careful in the shark tank.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
A shark
A shark who?
A loan shark come to collect the money you borrowed.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
A shark
“Oh okay!” then *opens door* *all this water comes in including a shark*
*Shark eats door answerer*
Fish1: Knock Knock (A fish tells a bad joke to another fish)
Shark : Who’s there? (A real shark came)
Fish 1: Who’s there?
Shark : A Shark
(The fish swim’s up to the shark and starts telling his joke)
Fish 2: That joke was so bad I’m leaving
Shark: I’m gonna eat you now.
Fish 1: Now, I don’t need food for a while (Still telling the joke)
The shark eats the fish
Shark: Now, I don’t need food for a while.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Shark
Shark who?
A loan shark, you owe me some money.
Sorry, I don’t talk with sea animals ( The door opener do not want to repay the money)
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Nurse
Nurse who?
A nurse shark who come to treat your wounds of the shark bite.
Shark Jokes One Liners
The best jokes ever said quickly become classics, and no joke is more famous than a one-liner. Here are a few shark jokes one liners to turn on your witty side. Enjoy!
What did the shark get when he traveled to the Arctic Ocean?
Frostbite.
This mako-me (may come) as a surprise to you, but sharks don’t like to eat people.
What kind of shark likes to gamble?
A card shark
That shark sure is athletic—he’s been working on his a-gil-ity!
What was the nerd shark’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va
What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother?
“Not gill-ty!”
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek
What’s a shark’s favourite coffee shop?
Shark-bucks
Whats green and gross and lives under the sea?
Shark boogers!
Why did the mother shark scold her son?
Because it was getting too sharky.
But as they say about sharks, it’s not the ones you see that you have to worry about, it’s the ones you don’t see.
Great White Shark Jokes
Shark jokes are guaranteed to make people laugh. Sure, we don’t want to face these predatory sea animals, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the gill-arious jokes they create. Go get your hands on these great white shark jokes written below.
If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws!
How much RAM does a great white shark have?
A killer-bite.
What did the Great White shark say to the cliff jumper?
“Don’t worry, I’ll catch you!”
What do you call the stuff caught in a great white shark’s teeth?
Slow swimmers.
It’s my ambition to see a great white shark before I die.Just not RIGHT before I die.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws open up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium…
How do you shoot a great white shark?
Hold his nose until he turns blue and then you shoot him with a blue shark spear gun.
What is a great white shark’s favourite kind of sandwich?
Peanut butter and Jelly fish
Great white shark diet surprises scientists “It consists mostly of wildlife biologists that study sharks,” said a famous wildife biologist studying sharks.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A mulatto scuba diver who has just been mauled to death by a shark.
What do you call a guy who puts his right hand into the mouth of a great white shark?
Lefty.
What happens when you cross a great white shark with a trumpet fish?
I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to play it!
What did the great white shark say when it met a seal?
“Pleased to EAT you!”
The Great White shark is a truly jaw-some creature!
Why was the great white shark yellow?
It wasn’t a coward, but it did suffer from jaw-ndice.
Shark Jokes for Adults
Thinking to go for a walk at the seaside? Then head down to the beach with our collection of humorous beach puns including some shark jokes for adults too and have a peaceful evening at the shore.
Him: I think you bite too much.
Her: Don’t get snappy with me.
What did the teenage sharks say when they were having sex?
“We’re going to need a bigger condom!”
Know why geese kill more humans every year than sharks?
Because, it’s really hard for geese to kill sharks. Seriously though, fuck geese.
I was swimming with my friend when he yelled “A shark bit my foot!”
I asked: “Which one!?”
He answered: “Fuck if I know, sharks look all the same!”
Did you hear the one about the shark that liked to eat people wearing jeans?
It sounded something likeDen-im…Den-im…
What do sharks say to comfort each other after a relationship ends?
It’s okay, there are plenty more birds in the sky!
What did the deaf, dumb and blind shark excel at?
Finball
What does a shark call his dick?
Megladong
Why did the shark quit dating?
Even though there are still many fish in the sea, he was netted into a relationship and got catfished.
Why did the mommy shark and daddy shark get divorced?
They no longer loved each other
What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies?
“I’m hammered.”
Shark Jokes for kids
Kids are always fascinated by any type of creature. Either it’s too small or extremely huge. Take a gaze at the shark jokes for kids below to have a fun time with them at the beach.
Why do the Sharks live in the ocean and not the sky?
Because the sky is Jets territory!
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
A teacher asks the class to name six fish that you might find in the sea.
One of the pupils replies, “five sharks and a herring”.
What advice did the dad shark give his son?
“Go take a bite out of life!”
Tiger sharks will eat anything and everything. Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.
What did the street shark say when something radical happened?
JAWESOME
Sharks stay away from cigarettes because they know smoking krills!
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
How do sharks greet the day?
“With the saying “time to rise and tide.”
Which sharks do you find in heaven?
Angel sharks.
Which was the favourite extra-curricular activity of the shark in school? De-bait.
Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?
It had a nosebleed.
Where do sharks go for their summer holidays?
Finland.
What is the most important thing for a hungry shark?
A-fish-in-sea.
What did the shark get on his maths test?
A sea-minus!
What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?
My shark ate it!
Doctor: You’ve been bitten by a radioactive shark
Me: So, I’m gonna get shark powers right
Doctor: You no longer have legs…
Me: Just like a shark.
I call myself a shark because I can swim and my grades are below C level
Funniest Shark Jokes
Someone who is a punster and a wisecracker at the gatherings then, can’t miss these funniest shark jokes jotted down below. Explore these jokes and comment down which was the hilarious one out of all.
I’m beginning to think deciding to call my dog “Shark” was a big mistake. I’ve been banned from all my local beaches!
What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?
Chews wisely.
What kind of sharks make good builders?
Hammerheads
What’s a shark’s favorite word to say in agreement?
De-fin-itely.
The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry—he’s collecting workers chomp.
A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there.
What does a dentist say to his shark patients?
Let’s see those chompers.
Why did the shark commit the murder?
He felt that he was “super-shark,” that he could justifiably perform what society considered a despicable act – the act of killing – if it led to his being able to do more good through the act.
I’ve just seen a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.I think it must be a busking shark.
CASEN: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
AUSTIN: I don’t know. I’m stumped!
CASEN: Santa Jaws!
Why don’t sharks like fast food?
It’s hard to catch.
What do a computer and a shark have in common?
They both have megabites.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
Do not eat if seal is broken
I heard a swimmer shout “Help shark Help!”
I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn’t going to help him!
What did the shark say when he was in a dilemma?
It said, “I am trapped between a shark place and a rock.”
What do you get when you cross a cow and a shark?
I don’t know. But I would definitely not like milking it.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in the sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew!
Shark Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
If you want to keep yourself handy with shark jokesfor the party at the beach then make sure to go through all of these fin-credible and jaw-some jokes because these jokes are gonna crack you up for sure!
What do you get when you cross a shark with a parrot?
An animal that will talk your head off!
There’s a little – known, but foolproof defense against sharks. – Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet.
Did you hear about the all-star shark athelete?
He led his team to the Chompianship!
Did you hear about the shark attack victim that lost her left arm and left leg?
No! Well, she is all right now.
Where can you buy sharks on Wall Street?
At the shark (stock) market, of course!
What did the shark say to his wife during a fight?
You’re just being jaw-matic.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks. I’d better watch my ass.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.
SILAS: What do you say to a shark with headphones on?
SIMON: I don’t know.
SILAS: Anything you want. It won’t hear you.
A shark can swim faster than I can…But I can definitely run faster than a shark.
So really, in a triathlon, it would come down to who is the better cyclist.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it?
Jawbreakers!
Which sharks would you find at a construction site?
Hammerhead sharks.
Final Thoughts on Shark Jokes
We have heard that you are planning a trip to the beach with your friends this weekend? If so, then we hope that this collection of shark jokes and puns has sound helpful to you for your upcoming outing.
Deep-sea creatures are equally exquisite, scary, and otherwise jaw-dropping. Perhaps it’s their power to rip you in half or could be their remarkable ability to clear a beach seashore in less than thirty seconds.
People, on the other hand, seem to adore sharks for some reason.
So, if you are one of those who lie in this category then there is absolutely no doubt that you love shark jokes as well. And now that we know your obsession with this ferocious animal, you can also pre-prepare for Shark fan week with the above funny shark jokes.
Not only this, but one can also enjoy these jokes about sharks while heading to the beach but just make sure the jokes don’t get too much to bite you off!
