145 Hilarious Penguin Jokes for the Most Amusing Bird
Why would someone share penguin jokes? Their jokes are just as adorable as penguins. They are a species of waterbird that is black and white and mostly found in the southern hemisphere.
Birds, including penguins, are fascinating creatures. They’re not like any other bird you’ve seen in your garden or at the park. They have adapted to their chilly environment in such a way that they are rather unique.
There are numerous interesting things about penguins that you may learn through funny penguin jokes, such as the way they walk. You’ve already met one.
You’ve come to the correct place if you’re looking for some fantastic penguin jokes that will make you chuckle. We got you a ton of these ridiculous jokes you can’t get enough of!
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Table of Contents
Best Penguin Jokes
As we all know, the best penguin jokes a day can keep a doctor at bay, as laughing is a kind of rehabilitation. For example, why did the two penguins leap the first time they met? They were attempting to break the ice.
Why are penguins so difficult to get along with?
Because they’re always fishing for compliments.
Why are penguins good racing car drivers?
Because they are always in pole position.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost, because penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
What kind of bird is the best writer?
A PEN-guin.
Two cows standing in a field,
One says to the other, “You worried about that mad cow disease?”
The other cow says, “No, I’m a penguin.”
Why does Nike sell so few shoes to penguins?
Because they prefer flipper-flops.
Last week I found a penguin in my street. Took it to the cops, they told me to take it to the zoo.
Saw the same cop yesterday, he asked how it went at the zoo. Told him the penguin loved it and we’re off to the cinema today.
What are the oldest animals?
Zebras and penguins because they’re in black and white.
How do Penguins keep their eyes healthy?
By blinking 20 times per minute
What do you give to a penguin that’s ill?
Some medical tweetment.
What do you give to a thirsty tree?
Lemon-aid.
Heard of the extinct species that used to cohabit with penguins?
They were called pencilguins but were tragically erased.
Funny Penguin Jokes
Are you aware that penguins have wings but cannot fly? Isn’t it amusing? How can you communicate with a penguin? Give him a wing. One of the examples of funny penguin jokes is about its wings.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A penguin in a revolving door.
What does a penguin do when it loses its tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Why is it best for 2 penguins who are stuck in a nest to always be nice and respectful to one another?
They don’t want to fall out.
When a penguin has no money, what does it tell the waiter?
Put it on my bill.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers
What is black and white and red all over?
A burnt penguin!
Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg?
He got cold feet!
When I become a lawyer, I want to defend a penguin.
Just so I can say, “Your honour! My client clearly isn’t a flight risk.”
Why are penguins great at sales call centers?
They are great cold callers.
What does a penguin eat on its birthday?
Fish cakes.
Recently had a polar bear then a penguin turning up at my house trying to sell me things. Not sure where all these cold callers are coming from.
A zookeeper loses his Bible while at work. A week later when he’s feeding the penguins one of them waddles up to him holding his Bible in its beak. “Praise God, it’s a miracle!” Says delighted zookeeper. “Not really,” says penguin “Your name is written on the inside cover.”
How much food does a Penguin eat each day?
A peng ton!
What rules Antarctica?
Emperor penguins
Why do penguins have black and white feathers?
They’re the colors of their environment – (The cold, dark Antarctic!)
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
Why don’t Polar Bears eat Penguins?
They can’t get the wrappers off.
A penguin asked his father how roads multiply
“They fork”
Polar bears are known as a natural predator of penguins. That’s why you might here bears say this on Christmas “Fishing you a beary Christmas, penguins”
Penguins are alot like kids
Both can fly if you throw them hard enough
Hilarious Penguin Jokes
Crested penguins have yellow crests, red beaks, and red eyes. Isn’t it hilarious? One of the forthcoming hilarious penguin jokes will make you laugh. What do penguins do with their money? In a snowbank.
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a penguin sitting next to him.
“Are you a penguin?” asks the man, surprised.
“Yes,” says the penguin.
“What are you doing at the movies?” he asks.
“Well,” replies the penguin, “I really liked the book.”
What does penguin who does magic say to his audience?
Pick a cod, any cod.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
Why can’t penguins fly?
Because they can’t afford the plane ticket.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
The dive-in!
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
Why did the penguins take their kids to see the Disney movie dozens of times? They love Frozen.
American politics is like a penguin. It has both a left wing and a right wing. But both wings are only good for flapping and making noises.
Why don’t Penguins live in hot places?
Because they need a cool place to live!
Which side of the penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Do Penguins Have Knees? Or just Bee’s Knees suits?
Dad, name 5 animals living in the North Pole
Three seals and two penguins.
What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?
The penguin who pushed him!
Good Penguin Jokes
Which of the following jokes may be used in the category of good penguin jokes? What can a group of penguins do to assist them in making a difficult decision? Flipper coin.
A penguin walks into a bar…
The bartender looks up and says, “Hey, listen, these things don’t fly around here.”
What do a group of penguins do to help them make a difficult decision?
Flipper coin.
Why do polar bears and penguins not get on?
Because they are polar opposites!
Why wouldn’t one penguin speak to the other penguin?
He was giving him the cold shoulder.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank!
What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?
Why the hell was I narrating it if Penguins can talk
What do penguins like best to eat?
Brrrrrrritos!
A penguin walks in to a bar and asks “Have you seen my dad?”
The barman says “I don’t know, what does he look like?”
I was going to make a joke about penguins.
Then I realized it just won’t fly.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
How do scientists pick out the happiest penguins?
They are the ones who have a pen-grin.
Why did the penguin put oil on the puffle?
It was squeaking!
What is a penguin’s favorite drink?
Water. The Penguin is always cool, calm, and collected!
Why do Penguins move so much in the winter?
It’s too cold to stay still!
They are doing a new sequel to the movie “March of the Penguins.”… They are calling it “April of the Penguins!”
An elephant, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar
It’s at this point I realise that there is something wrong with my beer.
I met a kid who loved everything black and white. He adored penguins, pandas, and Mickey mouse. I dont get why I’m not allowed to hang out with him anymore. All I asked is if he likes Michael Jackson.
Can a penguin fly?
No, but a toucan
Yesterday, an emperor penguin entered my shop with a toga. At first, I thought he was the Emperor Julius Freezer.
Dirty Penguin Jokes
Is it possible to make dirty penguin jokes? It is, indeed. The penguin went to grab an ice cream and came back a few minutes later. “It appears you blew a seal,” the mechanic stated. “Gross, it’s just ice cream,” the penguin answered.
A penguin walks into a chemist and requests to purchase a pack of condoms.
The chemist asks him “Would you like me to put that on your bill?”
The penguin replies “I’m not that kind of penguin”
What do female penguins wear at the beach?
They usually prefer to wear a beak-ini.
Did you know penguins scream during sex?
Maybe not all of them?
But definitely the one I cornered at the zoo.
I miss having my 13 year old problems of deciding how I was going to breakup with my club penguin boyfriend
The Penguin says, “Did you find out what is wrong with my car?”
The mechanic replies, “It looks like you’ve blown a seal”
“No no”, says the penguin. It’s just ice cream”.
A penguin walks into a bar
And orders a glass of coke. The bar tender slides the penguin a cool can. The penguin immediately slides the can back. “Bartender, I do believe I ordered a glass.” Confused, the bar tender pours a glass of Coca Cola and the penguin gets up. A man stops the penguin and asks “Why wasn’t a can ok?” The penguin replies, “I don’t really care about the drink, this is just the easiest way for me to order a cup full of ice.”
When the helicopter flies over the colony of emperor penguins, the elder says Holy fuck.
What do you get when you cross a penguin and an alligator?
I don’t know, but don’t try to hug it!
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
My dad was pretty pissed off when I brought a penguin home.
He told me “STUFF LIKE THIS THIS WILL NOT FLY IN MY HOUSE”
Clean Penguin Jokes
Clean penguin jokes may be recommended to everybody without reservation. For instance, why was the penguin so well-liked? He was, after all, an ice guy! This joke is equally appropriate for preschoolers.
When I meet new people, I always talk about my giant pet penguin…
It’s a good icebreaker.
I had a latte with a penguin the other day. He said he would have preferred a fish…
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish!
Penguins are the life of any party. They know how to break the ice.
Why do you never see a penguin in the UK?
They don’t like getting too close to wales.
What is a penguin’s favorite video game?
The Gentoo Pokémon.
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost
What is a penguin’s favourite party game?
Sardines.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A Pen-Grin
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
I said to my doctor, “I wake up thinking I’m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I’m an arctic fox.”
He told me I was bipolar.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To go with the floe!
Why should you pick a penguin rather than a horse at the races?
They are always in the Pole position.
What do you call a penguin with a light bulb in its beak?
Lightheaded!
Did you hear the one about the penguin who was a criminal?
It’s pretty funny, but that’s not really what he was going
What is the biggest problem for Penguins in London?
Long line at the ice rink!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do penguins wear on their feet at nighttime?
Slippers.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Penguins are one of the most popular animals all over the world because they are always ice (nice) guys.
Why don’t penguins like eating clown fish?
Because they taste funny!
Knock Knock Penguin Jokes
When we make our penguin knock-knock jokes, they may be rather entertaining. You may make jokes about their walk, what they do, how they do it, and a variety of other topics to write about.
Penguin 1: Knock Knock!
Penguin 2: Who’s there?
Penguin 1: Irish
Penguin 2: Irish who?
Penguin 1: Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Interrupting Penguin
Interrupting Penguin who?
Penguin! Penguin!
Penguin 1: Knock Knock
Penguin 2: Who’s there?
Penguin 1: Icy
Penguin 2: Icy who?
Penguin 1: Icy you.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
The chicken
Why did the penguin cross the road?
To visit the cool persons house.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Still the chicken.
Penguin 1: Knock Knock
Penguin 2: Who’s there?
Penguin 1: Scold
Penguin 2: Scold who?
Penguin 1: Scold Outside
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Penguin
Penguin who?
What do you call a penguin that steals calamari?
What? I don’t know?
A squid napper.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Queen?
Queen who?
Wife of the king, Pen-guin.
Penguin Jokes for Adults
A penguin convinces his snowmobile to be repaired. The technician examines it and concludes, “Looks like you blew a seal.””No, that’s just icing on my lip,” says the penguin. One of the best instances of penguin jokes for adults.
A penguin goes into a pub…
At the bar the peanuts say:
“Nice tie Mr!”
In the toilets the condom machine says:
“You look stupid in that tie”
So he complains to the barman. The barman says:
“the peanuts are complimentary but the condom machine is out of order”
Penguins do not always drink red wine. But when they do, they drink penguin noir
My sex is like penguin, I don’t have a penguin.
What did The Penguin say when he walked in on Batman masturbating?
“Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank! Wank!”
Why did the penguins start jumping on their first date?
They were trying to break the ice.
What do you call a mischievous penguin?
A Pee-gnome!
What do penguins do when they want to hookup?
Net fish and chill
What do you call the children of the first penguins?
Gentwo penguins
I asked a prostitute for sex but she refused because I only had $5. She instead offered me a ‘penguin blowjob’.
I had no idea what it was but thought for $5, that was a pretty good deal.
She took off my belt and lowered my trousers and underpants to my ankles and began sucking. As things were heating up, she stopped, turned around and started walking away.
I ran after her with my trousers and underpants still around my ankles, pleading for her to finish
How do penguins know when there’s something wrong?
It smells a bit fishy
When the female penguin wants to break up, the male penguin says “Waddle I do without you in my life, baby!”
Penguin Jokes for Kids
Penguin jokes for kids can be a great way to keep them entertained when the class becomes boring or less energetic. For example, which bird usually comes in first? It’s a peng-win.
Why are penguins so good at using the internet?
Because they have web feet!
How do penguins pass exams?
They wing it.
Why should you not write a book on penguins?
Because writing a book on paper is much easier
What do penguins sing at their birthday parties?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Daughter: Mum, can I have a penguin for Christmas?
Mother: NO! You’ll have turkey like everyone else.
What does a penguin eat for breakfast?
Frosties
Who is a penguin’s favourite pop star?
Seal
What do you call a penguin with no eye?
A pengun.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers!
Dr Dr, I feel like a penguin. Sorry, I’ve not got igloo what the problem is.
What type of pasta do Penguins eat?
Penguine
How does a penguin go to school?
On an icicle!
The penguins were so thirsty that they were drinking water directly out of the beak-ers.
What do penguins do to become good at something?
The pract-ice
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
Penguin Jokes and Riddles
Many penguin jokes and riddles may be asked of pupils as a fun activity or to learn about various animals or birds. One example is Who is the penguin’s favorite Aunt? Aunt-Arctica!
Why do penguins always carry fish in their beak?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why don’t penguins fly?
Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots!
Why is it so hard to write a book on penguins?
Because they always squirm, are kind of slippery and writing a book on paper is much easier.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps
How do penguins drink their whisky?
On the rocks.
What’s a penguin’s favorite relative?
Aunt Arctica!
What salad does a penguin like?
Iceberg lettuce.
What’s the difference between a white penguin and a black penguin?
White penguins are walking towards you and black ones are walking away.
Why did the Penguin enter the theatre?
Because he wanted to get into snow-business
What did the penguin do in the retro arcade mchine?
Ate bits!
When visiting England, what do Nuclear scientist Penguins eat?
Fission Chips.
How do you know if a penguin is sick?
It has to ice-olate
What do penguins drive?
Arcticulated Trucks
Who is the penguin’s favorite football player?
Chris Waddle
What do the penguins get for their lunch at the zoo?
Half an hour, same as the zebras.
Final Thoughts on Penguin Jokes
When it comes to penguins, jokes about penguins may be amusing. It may be used to cheer up children or to enliven dull classrooms. Can adults talk about penguin jokes? Yes, there are several classifications for it.
Let us begin with the protagonist, the penguin. Penguins are a type of flightless bird and these funny penguin jokes are not just about their flightless quality but so much more!
They reside nearly entirely in the southern hemisphere, with only one species found north of the Equator, the Galápagos penguin. Penguins have dark and white plumage and flippers for swimming, making them well-adapted to living in the sea.
Most penguins eat shrimp, salmon, calamari, and other aquatic life that they collect while swimming underwater. They spend around half their lives on land and the other half in the water.
If this bird’s knowledge is so fascinating, imagine the level of penguin jokes. We gathered some of the greatest jokes from our study for you to share with your friends or children to keep them entertained.
