172 Hilarious Name Jokes for Entertaining Your Friends
They say “Laughter is truly the best medication, and what better way to entertain your friends than with funny name jokes!
As renowned philosopher Aristotle once said, ‘Humor is the harmony of the soul,’ and these witty jokes are sure to bring joy and harmony to any gathering.
According to a recent study conducted at the prestigious Oxford University, sharing jokes promotes social bonding and enhances overall well-being.
So, get ready to unleash the laughter and leave your friends laughing with these ‘what do you call’ jokes!
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Best Name Jokes
Prepare for a laughter-filled ride with the best name jokes. These funny and clever jests are guaranteed to keep your spirits high!
What do you call a guy who loves exercising?
Jim.
What do you call a man who keeps playing the bagpipes?
Scott.
What do you call a man who works in deceased estates?
Will.
What do you call a man who always wears a coat?
Mac.
What do you call a man who always wears 2 coats?
Max.
What do you call a man who is unable to stand up?
Neal.
What do you call a water skier with no arms and no legs?
Skip.
What do you call a man who has no 5 cent coins?
Nicholas.
What do you call 2 guys in a window?
Curt and Rod.
What did the lawyer name his daughter?
Sue.
What is the perfect name for an ambulance?
Nina.
What do you call a woman between two goalposts?
Anette.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What do you call a woman with a tile on her head?
Ruth.
What do you call a girl lying on a beach?
Sandy.
What do you call a man who watches movies from morning till night?
David.
What do you call a man with no shins?
Tony.
What do you call a boy with his hair cut at shoulder length?
Bob.
What do you call a girl sitting on two toilets?
Lulu.
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
Doug.
What do you call a man without a spade on his head?
Douglas.
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Flop.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call a woman who throws her bills on the fire?
Bernadette.
What do you call a man with a plank on his head?
Edward.
What do you call a man driving a truck?
Laurie.
Funny Name Jokes
There is a stock of funny name jokes gathered just for you. These witty jests are perfect to keep your soul happy!
My father’s name is Lee. My name is Riley.
As a kid, if I ever said the word “apparently”, he would interrupt to shout, “A son Riley!”
I told my son Facebook is changing its name to Meta.
He asked, “What’s a Meta?” I said, “Nothing, what’s a Meta with you?”
How Long is a Chinese name.
My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.
Especially because his name’s Steve.
My wife got mad because I don’t know Eminem’s real name.
I just don’t see why it Mathers.
My wife is constantly changing her name, but gets mad at me when I call her the new name.
Sometimes it’s hungry, sometimes it’s tired, sometimes it’s angry. Please help.
Someone: I like your name! Me: Thanks, I got it for my birthday.
Pippin: “I’m Pippin. It’s not my real name, it’s just a nickname.” Elrond: “What’s Pippin short for?” Gandalf: “He’s a Hobbit.”
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
Today I learned: The writer Stephen King has a son named Joe. I’m not joking, but he is.
A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
The bartender says, “Oh, what an interesting companion you have there.
What’s his name?” The guy replies, “Tiny” and the bartender asks, “Why’d you name him that?”
The guy responds, “Because he’s my newt.”
I’ve just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone.
It’s Hans free now.
I met a man named Jim Apple the other day.
He has trouble introducing himself in France.
I named my dog “Stay”.
Every time I call him he gets really confused.
I named my two dogs Rolex and Timex.
They’re my watch dogs.
Found out my wife is cheating on me today.
When I asked when she’d be home, she said, “10-15 minutes max.” My name is Stephen.
Guys, to be frank … I would have to change my name.
I have a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, and the Peanuts.
I named it The Trail Mix.
Does anyone know Bruce Lee’s dad’s name?
It’s always been a Mr. Lee to me.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna One … Anna Two.
I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack.
What do you call a woman with one leg on either side of a river?
Bridgette.
What do you call a woman with a tortoise on her head?
Shelley.
What do you call a man wearing a kilt?
Scott.
What do you call a man who can’t stand up?
Neil.
What do you call a lady with one leg longer than the other?
Eileen.
What do you call a man who’s not religious?
Godfrey.
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a woman sitting in a bath of Martini?
Olive.
What do you call a woman sitting on a loaf of bread?
Marge.
What do you call a man with a map on his head?
Miles.
What do you call a man stuffed in a mailbox?
Bill.
What do you call a man who’s always there when you need him?
Andy.
What do you call a girl with a laptop on her head?
Adele.
What do you call a woman with a breeze on her head?
Gail.
What do you call a woman with a twig on her head?
Hazel.
What do you call a man in a pot?
Stu.
What do you call a man who always wins?
Victor.
What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?
Warren.
What do you call a man with a legal document on his head?
Will.
Hilarious Name Jokes
Get ready to double over with laughter as we present a collection of name jokes. These jokes will leave you in fits of laughter.
What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs?
Bob.
What do you call a man in shark infested waters?
Chum.
What do you call a lady who always sets fire to her power bill and phone bill?
Bernadette (Burn a debt).
What do you call a man who is shaking in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a woman who has one leg longer than the other one?
Eilene.
What do you call a woman who has legs of equal length?
Nolene.
What do you call an asian woman who has one leg longer than the other one?
Irene.
What do you call a man who is always at your front door?
Matt.
What do you call a man who is always stealing stuff?
Rob.
What do you call a guy who keeps vomiting?
Chuck.
What do you call a man who keeps rabbits up his shirt?
Warren.
What do you call a man who is in the dirt in your garden?
Pete.
What do you call a guy who is building a wall in the middle of a river?
Adam.
What do you call a guy with a radio?
Roger.
Knock Knock Name Jokes
It’s a hilarious lineup of knock-knock name jokes that will have you laughing at every punchline. Get ready for some endless fun!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leon.
Leon who?
Leon me when you’re not strong!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie thing you can do I can do better!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lena.
Lena who?
Lena a little closer, and I’ll tell you another joke!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice.
Candice who?
Candice joke get any worse?!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Haven.
Haven who?
Haven you heard enough of these knock-knock jokes?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Saul.
Saul who?
Saul there is — there ain’t no more!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Keith.
Keith who?
Keith me, my thweet prince!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita drink of water so please let me in!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex-plain when you open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anita.
Anita who?
Anita go to the bathroom!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Carl.
Carl who?
A Carl get you there faster than a bike.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore wasn’t open, so I knocked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec it when you ask me questions.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida who?
I think it’s pronounced Idaho.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub ⏤ I’m dwowning!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alice.
Alice who?
Alice so quiet.
Let’s make some noise!
Name Jokes One Liners
Looking for quick laughs? Have a look into a collection of name jokes in one-liner form. They will push you to want more!
A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him. He’s the new temp.
[At the wedding] Priest: Repeat after me… Groom: After me… Priest, looking at bride: Is he serious? Bride: No, his name is Mike.
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, “Don’t be silly, Someone your own size! Why would anyone pick on you?!”
Not bragging but I made six figures last year. So they named me the year’s worst employee at the toy factory.
“Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?” “Rhino!” “We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it’s not your turn.”
I buy all my guns from a guy named “T-Rex”. He’s a small arms dealer.
I’m going to name my son Pert and then change his name. So whatever he does, he’ll be an expert.
Saw a guy walking around the Olympic village holding a nine foot stick. I asked, “Are you a pole vaulter?” He responded, “No, I’m German. And how did you know my name was Walter?”
Mario is a Japanese character. So his family name is likely Itsumi. Or in Japanese name order it would be Itsumi Mario.
Clean Name Jokes
Enjoy a dose of wholesome humor with a selection of clean-name jokes. These will bring a smile to your face and create a joyful atmosphere for all.
What do you call a lady who is hanging from a roof?
Eve.
What do you call a man sitting in hot water?
Stew.
What do you call a man who is sitting in barely warm water?
Luke.
What do you call a man who is hanging on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a man who fixes potholes for a living?
Phil.
What do you call a man who has 2 planks on his head?
Edward Wood.
What do you call a man who has 3 planks on his head?
Edward Woodward.
What do you call a man who has 4 planks on his head?
I don’t know but Edward Woodward would.
What do you call a man who is always sitting on the toilet?
Lou.
What do you call a woman who keeps singing christmas songs?
Carol.
What do you call a woman who works with cats?
Kitty.
What do you call a man who loves travelling long distances?
Miles.
What do you call a man who has a car licene plate tattoo?
Reg.
What do you call a lady who has radiator for a body?
Anita.
What do you call a man who has cat scratches all over his face?
Claude.
What do you call a man who stamps letters at the post office for a living?
Frank.
What do you call a woman who catches fish using her body?
Annette.
What do you call a woman who has a back like a turtles?
Shell.
Dirty Name Jokes
This section contains risqué humor. These are some naughtily funny name jokes that push the boundaries. Only for those with a bold sense of humor!
I think we should stop turning normal names like “Karen” into slurs
It’s a real Dick move.
What’s your name son?
The principal asked his student.
The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.”
“Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked.
The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
“Hello. My name is Paul, and I am a sex addict.”
Group leader: “Hello Paul. Nice to meet you.
But I have to tell you that the sex addicts meet three rooms further down the hall. This is the group for single moms.”
Paul: “I know.”
A beautiful woman sat next to a man on a plane.
After some small talk, the woman admitted that she was getting treatment for sex addiction. “I am doing great, my only remaining issue is I can’t resist cowboys and Italian men.
By the way, I never caught your name.”
“My name is Big Tex Marconi, great to meet you.”
A man is driving his five-year-old son to school for his first day.
Suddenly the boy shouts out “Daddy! Daddy! Look at those moo cows in that field.”
His father says “Hang on, you’re a big boy now, you must use adult names. It’s a cow, not a moo cow.”
The boy is quiet for a while then suddenly shouts out “Daddy! Daddy! Look at those baa lambs in that field.”
“I’ve told you” the father replies. “You’re a big boy now, you must use the adult names. It’s a lamb not a baa-lamb.”
He drops the boy off at school and returns later to take him home.
“How did your first day go, son?” he asked.
“What did you do?”
“We did some sums and we all read a story” he replied.
“Oh” said his father.
“What was the story called?”
“Winnie the Shit!”
An Asian man goes to rent a car, and the clerk sees the man’s name is Herschel Leibowitz
The clerk asks him how an Asian man like himself got the name Herschel Leibowitz.
He responds in a heavy accent “When I was going through immigration, we were in a line in the area where we give our names.
The name of the man in front of me was Herschel Leibowitz.
When they call for me to ask me what my name is, I said “Sam Ting”
How did you choose our names father?
A young indian boy asked his father “How did you choose our names father”?
His father replied:
“”When your older sister was born I opened the flap to the teepee and looked out, naming her for the first thing I saw. So she is called Running Doe.”
“When your older brother was born I did the same, so he is called Soaring Eagle.”
“Why do you ask this of me Two Dogs Fucking?”
Fake Name Jokes
Prepare for a comedic twist with fake-name jokes that will have you questioning reality. Get ready for a wild ride of amusing identities and playful wordplay.
What’s the difference between a fake sex addict and someone who uses fake names to get free noodles?
One’s a pseudo-nymphomaniac, the other’s a pseudonym-pho-maniac!
What are some of your good ‘fake names’
Looking for some good joke names like:
Mike Hunt
Dixie Normous
Ivana fukalot
ect
A Russian spy infiltrated in America is arrested
A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American officials. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.
Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?”
Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know you’re a foreign spy!”
Smith: “WHAT? No! I’m a real American, I can name all 46 Presidents of the United States, in order, with the dates of their inaugurations and their Vice Presidents.”
Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”
Smith: “You’re all wrong! I can name all fifty states, US territories, and all their capitals!”
Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”
Smith: “Wait… I know every word of the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!”
Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!”
Smith: “Ok, I submit, I’m a Russian spy under a fake name. But… how could you tell?”
Perry: “Because Americans don’t know any of those things.”
What’s the best form of protection when you don’t have a condom?
A fake name.
Whenever I have a one night stand,I alweys use protection.
A fake name and a fake number.
NEVER fight a cougar
Just give her a fake name and sneak her out in the morning
How to practice safe sex:
Give her a fake name and address.
My new nick name didn’t work.
My friend said if another guy tries to hit on her with a fake name, she’d blow a fuse.
To which I replied, “Hey nice to meet you, I’m A fuse.”
Bad Name Jokes
Embrace the so-bad-they’re-good humor with a collection of delightfully cringe-worthy bad-name jokes. These cheesy puns are a guilty pleasure for all.
You know who really gives kids a bad name?
Elon Musk.
I think Trojan is a bad name for a condom brand…
…because of course, the Trojans were a people whose lives were ruined when a vessel containing little warriors unexpectedly exploded inside their city walls…
Why is Fortnite a bad name for a game?
It is two weak.
Giving blondes a bad name
A blonde woman is driving her car on an empty road past a field of corn one day, and spots a strange sight. In the middle of the field, a blonde girl is sitting in a rowboat, attempting to paddle to the road.
Furious, the woman stops her car and gets out. She shouts to the girl, “What are you doing out there? You look ridiculous! I’m tired of people giving blondes a bad name and making us look stupid!”
The girl replies, “I’m just trying to get back to the edge, can’t you help me out?”
To this the woman says, “I would help, but I don’t have a boat!”
A 3 month pregnant woman falls into a deep coma…
She awakens from her coma in the hospital around a year later. She quickly asks the doctor “how is my baby?” The doctor said “you had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are in the care of your brother who also named the pair.” The mother says “what? No, not my brother. He’s an idiot.” “What did he name the babies?” The mother asked
The doctor says “well he named your daughter Denice.” “Oh” the mother exhales. “That’s not a bad name at all.” “What did he name my son?” The doctor pauses for a moment before telling the mom…Danephew.
Ah, blondes.
Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.
There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.
After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says “this really pisses me off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!”
The second blonde says “I agree. And if I could swim, I’d go out there and kick her ass!”
A highly successful blonde business woman was headed west.
She was on her way to a work conference, driving through Arkansas.
As she’s cruising along she comes across a farm and out in the middle of the field is a blonde in a rowboat, surrounded by cows, rowing like mad and going nowhere.
She’s pissed. She pulls over and jumps out of her car, runs up to the fence, and begins shouting.
“I don’t know who the hell you are, but you’re giving all of us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d come over there and kick your ass!”
Name Jokes and Puns
Discover the art of wordplay with the combination of name jokes and puns. These clever linguistic gems will have you appreciating the beauty of language.
Today, my son asked, “Can I have a book mark?” and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint. Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
I never understood why they named the show “SpongeBob”. Patrick was literally the star of the show.
Someone asked me to name 2 structures that hold water. I was like well damn.
If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything … Stamps: Lickie Stickie. Defibrillators: Hearty Starty. Bees: Fuzzy Buzzy. Pregnancy Test: Maybe Baby. Bra: Breastie Nestie. Fork: Stabby Grabby. Socks: Feetie Heatie. Nightmare: Screamy Dreamy. Wallet: Cashy Stashy. Cat: Furry Purry.
I was named after my dad. Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him.
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name. So I called her Bluff.
A buddy of mine named his dog “5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles. But today he ran over 5 Miles.
I named my dog Naked. After work, I used to walk naked around the block. Then I got arrested because I don’t really have a dog.
If Hooters closed and became delivery only would they have to change their name to Knockers?
William Shatner has discontinued his line of ladies lingerie. Apparently Shatner panties was a poor choice of name.
Lance is an uncommon name nowdays. But in mediaeval times people were called Lance a lot.
My son Luke loves that we named him after a Star Wars character. My daughter Chewbacca not so much.
My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. It’s pronounced “Noel.”
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
Why isn’t holy water used in vaccines? Because you can’t take the Lord’s name in vein.
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl. Her name was Himcules.
After my wife had given birth to our baby, the nurse asked me, “Do you have a name yet?” I said, “Yes. Steve.” She giggled, “Awww! That’s a lovely name!” I replied, “Thanks. But what do you think we should call the baby?”
My dad banned me from saying “Hell”, so I asked, “Have you thought of any alternative names for hell?”
He said, “I heaven’t”
What is Yoda’s last name?
Layheehoo.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, name jokes and “what do you call” jokes have an incredible ability to bring people together through laughter.
They offer an escape from the mundane and a chance to share a moment of joy.
Whether you prefer one-liners, knock-knock jokes, clever puns, or even the occasional risqué jest, these jokes have the power to brighten anyone’s day.
We hope this collection of ‘what you call’ jokes and name jokes have left you grinning from ear to ear.
We’d love to hear your thoughts and favorite jokes about name jokes.
So, don’t be shy—share the laughter and spread the cheer.
