150 Best Good Morning Jokes to Start Your Day

Who would say no to good morning jokes? I guess, no one, because the best thing to start your day with is a laugh.

Good morning jokes will make you laugh and the rest of your day will be made. This article is for you if want to make people laugh.

Morning is the beginning of your day so make sure to make it as lighthearted as possible because you never know what the rest of the day holds for you.

Laughing at your breakfast table while reading good morning jokes is the healthiest way to start your day!

Looking for the best good morning jokes to make your loved ones laugh? You have come to the right place. Here are some good morning funny jokes for you.

Best Good Morning Jokes

This category has the best morning jokes for you and your friends to laugh at. The best part is that these jokes are family-friendly so you can share them with anyone.

Have you heard about a man who told his family every morning that he was going jogging but never did?
It was a running joke.

Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.

What would you say to your plumber if you heard a tap on your door first thing in the morning?
“You have quite a sense of humor.”

How does coffee usually help in the morning?
It makes people coffeedent.

What does an author eat for breakfast every day?
Synonym buns.

You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it break fast

I had a problem with my boiled egg this morning.
I’ve cracked it now though.

What would you do if you had problems with your boiled eggs in the morning? Just crack it.

What happened to the guy that accidentally made his morning coffee with some Red Bull instead of with water?
He got halfway to his work before he realized he had forgotten his car.

What do you call a Dinosaur that wakes up early in the morning?
An AssCrackaDon.

Why did the man always cheat on his diet in the morning?
Because he thought, at the end of the day, he’s staying faithful.

How did Moses make coffee in the morning?
He-brewed it.

What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning?
Resistance Training!

“I had everything I could ever want in life … then the alarm rings. Hello, world! Good Morning!”

What would you call it if you run a mediocre distance when you go jogging in the morning?
Run of the mill.

I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.

At what time of morning does usually a duck wake up?
At the quack of dawn.

Some mornings I just feel like breaking the damn alarm but then one thing always stops me. I paid hundreds of dollars to buy my phone.

If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep…
That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

What was the ‘Rise and Shine Juice’ that the cobbler invented to wake up his shoes in the morning?
It was just a combination of yeast and shoe polish.

Funny Good Morning Jokes

Funny morning jokes are the best to start your day. You can send these good morning funny jokes to your friends and family to share a good laugh with them.

How did the man burn 800 calories in the morning easily?
He forgot his pizza inside his oven.

Have you heard about the Vicks VapoRub truck that overturned on the freeway in the morning the other day?
Well, there certainly wasn’t any congestion for the next 7-8 hours.

Why did the jailer start counting the numbers of all the inmates in the morning? Because she wanted a con-census.

What does Iron Man say every morning when he stands in front of the magic mirror?
He says, “Mirror, mirror on my wall, who is the ferrous of us all?”

Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.

What would you call it if you spent an entire morning coating a ladder with grease which leads into your attic?
An anti-climb-attic morning.

“What do you call a cheesy baby deer on your lawn in the morning?
Fawn dew.”

What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning?
It becomes emptea.

Have you heard about a Frenchman that choked while he was eating his morning omelet?
He said, “Oeuf.”

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

Why did the man get arrested for pouring himself a cup of coffee in the morning?
The police thought it was mugging.

What do bakers say when they wake up in the mornings?
“Time to get bread-y now.”

I couldn’t find the car window scraper this morning, so I used a plastic store discount card to clean my windows.
It didn’t work very well.
I only got 20% off.

What drink do lobsters have in the morning?
Clawfee.

What would you call it if you choke on your water when jogging every morning for a week?
The worst ever running gag.

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…
I really need to wash some mugs.

I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6AM but wake up at 7AM. And it’s not even a joke.

Have you heard about McDonald’s?
They have eggspanded their breakfast menu.

What does Tony Stark always eat in the morning for breakfast?
Iron Bran.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning the next i knew it turn out to be a river of orange kist.

Cute Good Morning Jokes

You might have eyes for someone and the best way to impress them is to crack a cute joke. Cute good morning jokes are going to help you impress that “someone.”

What do you call a radio that just works in the morning?
An AM radio.

What’s the color of the sun when it rises in early morning?
It’s rose.

Why do birds always sing in the morning?
Because they don’t go to work.

Which superhero delivers the morning papers?
It’s Newspaperman.

Why were the man and his family crying in the morning?
They were coming back from a moving sale.

What does a pastry chef say to himself in the morning every day?
“I’ll be making a lot of dough today.”

“People often tell me to be more of a morning person. I could only achieve this if the day started later in the afternoon! Good Morning!”

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.

This morning, my Grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans.
I said, “Who is this guy?”
My Grandpa said, “My hip replacement.”

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning, and think well better luck next time.

“I was going to make breakfast but the alarm rang. Looks like I’ll have cereal today!”

What would you call someone that can’t stop jogging along the beach in the morning?
They’d be called Joggernaut.

“Morning is the best time of day. The only downside to it is that you have to wake up so early!”

I saw a guy in a black hooded robe who was trying to clear the frost off his car with a scythe, so I thought I’d do the neighborly thing and go out and help him.

What would you name a classic rock-themed morning jogging club?
Runs ‘n Goeses.

One Liner Good Morning Jokes

Want to win their hearts with a one liner joke? We have got you sorted. These morning jokes one liner will make you the king/queen of jokes. Good luck on your journey to make people laugh!

What beverage do all sick people have in the morning?
Cough-ee.

Getting up early is the wrong decision to start a day with.

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

What does a dog love eating as breakfast food?
Pooched eggs.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

“You’re not up yet? I’ll tell you what, let’s go back to bed. Good morning!”

What do they usually serve for breakfast at the North Pole?
Snowflakes.

What is the favorite meal of a car?
Brake-fast.

What do the snowmen eat for breakfast?
Ice Krispies.

I took my mother in law out yesterday morning, its great being a sniper.

This morning I got up out of bed and then looked out of my window to see what the weather was like.

I had morning wood one day then my sister saw and said I can help.

There should be a rule against people trying to be funny before the sun comes up.

Getting up early is the first step in the wrong direction.

My friend had a drink called quick start so I said “that’s a quick start to the morning”.

Never face facts; if you do you’ll never get up in the morning.

Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.

The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me.

I was thinking about jelly this morning it reminded to take out the trash.

I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.

In the morning, I woke like a sloth in the fog.

Yesterday morning my tree died, now I have mourning wood.

The sun isn’t the only thing rose up this morning…

Dirty Good Morning Jokes

Want to send a joke to that “someone” you are flirting with or have eyes for? These dirty good morning jokes will make them smitten with you for a while.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?
“I want you inside me.”

Why did the sperm cross the road?
Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

Hey, Good Morning! Now put it in your mouth.

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don’t have balls.

This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off…
After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off.
Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off.
I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand.
Now I’m afraid to pee.

I visited my wife’s grave earlier today.
A guy came past and said, “Morning.”
I said, “No, just walking the dog.”

My daughter has gotten to the age where she asks me embarrassing questions about sex. Just this morning she asked me “is that the best you can do?”

What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.

Hope the towers in the morning and get back to you!

Why don’t lesbians have sex in the morning.
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?

Knock Knock Good Morning Jokes

Good morning knock knock jokes have been around for a while now. We all have heard this joke in our lives at least once. These knock knock good morning messages will make you nostalgic.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben knocking on the door all morning, could you let me in?

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ada.
Ada who?
Ada lot for breakfast, now I feel like throwing up.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Hammond.
Hammond who?
Please, Hammond eggs for breakfast.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ewok
Ewok who?
Ewok early this morning.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Loaf.
Loaf who?
I loaf bread for my breakfast.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Dew.
Dew who?
Dew wanna go jogging tomorrow morning?

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Dawn.
Dawn who?
Dawn talk to me until I’ve had my coffee.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Leah.
Leah who?
Leah-n an egg for breakfast.

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Sweden.
Sweden who?
I always Sweden my coffee in the morning.

Good Morning Jokes for Him

Do you admire your significant others smile and want to make him laugh? You have come to the right place because these we have the best good morning jokes to make him laugh.

Did you hear about the man that got hit by the very same bike every single morning? It’s a vicious cycle.

Have you heard about the guy who found a bunch of celery every morning on his front doorstep? He thought he was being stalked.

This guy arrives home at seven o’clock in the morning, stinking of whiskey, to find his angry wife waiting for him.
She shouts at him, “You’d better have a darn good reason for coming home at this time in the morning.”
“Of course I do,” replies the guy.
“Well then, what is it?” asks his wife.
“Breakfast!”

When the man who was visiting his wife’s grave said “Morning” to another visitor, what did the other man reply?
He said, “No, I’m just walking my dog.”

Did you hear about the man that woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from? It eventually dawned on him.

Why did the man make his hamster an extra-strong coffee in the morning?
He didn’t want it to fall asleep at the wheel.

Did you hear about the man that found a bunch of LEGO every morning on his front porch? He didn’t know what to make of them.

Have you heard about the man who forgot how to put his seat belt on while he was going to work one morning?
Well, after a while, it clicked.

How do you feel every day before having your morning coffee?
Depresso.

Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.

Good Morning Jokes for Her

The safest way to impress a girl is to make her laugh. A good joke is what every girl remembers. We have the best good morning jokes to make her laugh for you.

What did the one-legged woman do at the ATM every morning?
She checked her balance.

What did the woman say before telling jokes on ‘early mornings’?
“You people up for it?”

I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom.

What did the woman say when she realized that her morning was actually bittersweet?
She said, “That’s the last time I drink spoiled milk with sugar”.

Did you hear about the girl that got a summer job in a high school that involved getting up very early in the morning with a paintbrush and a glass of water? It wasn’t really high paying, but she made dew.

A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning, “Windows frozen, won’t open.”
Her husband texts back, “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap the edges with a hammer.”
5 minutes later the blonde texts back, “Computer really messed up now.”

“Life is a 24-hour party! I’ve got my lipstick on and everything. And then the alarm rings … Good Morning!”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of morning. It’s just that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.”

I was just about to walk out of the door when my wife grabbed me and shouted, “Stop! You’re de-icing with death.”

What did the wife give his husband when he returned home all sweaty from his morning jog?
The stink eye.

In my house, we don’t bother with saying “Good morning.” Those moments have passed. So, to you I say, “busy morning!” and let’s get to work!

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

I was driving to work this morning when I saw a woman texting and driving.
I was so angry I rolled down my window and threw my beer can at her.

If you did not see me as the first thing after you woke up, I’ll advise you to sleep again.

Good Morning Jokes for Friends

A memorable time with friends is always that where everyone is laughing until their stomach hurts. These are some good morning jokes for friends to make you the funniest person in the group.

If you’re feeling down, try drinking a pint of water before going to bed.
It’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

Friend, someday you will be a morning person! But, not today. Go back to sleep!

Good Morning, lazy! May this day be full of productivity…from someone else! Obviously, not you!

How do the crazy joggers go through any forest in the morning?
They take the psychopath.

Good Morning to a friend who starts each day by asking important questions: Should I get up at ten or eleven? Is there pizza left over from last night? Have a good day, deep thinker!

What do joggers usually do when they forget things?
They always jog their memory.

Good Morning! Parting from your best friend can be difficult… but I am sure you will go back to bed, in no time!

Good morning everyone, today’s weather is
None of you businesses, stay home, stay safe.

What did the tomato say while trying to help his friend who tripped and fell when jogging in the morning?
He said, “just grab my Heinz, I’ll help you up.”

What did the black hole reply when the other black hole said, “you should try slimming down a little” when they were jogging in space?
He replied, “are you that dense?”

What would it be called if you woke up every day in the morning to the sound of zombies screaming?
Dawn of the Dead.

I’m sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Good Morning Jokes in English

These are some good morning jokes in English to help you make people laugh. This category has some great good morning jokes for WhatsApp as well. So, make people laugh and have fun!

Why did the morning coffee never talk to the herbal drinks?
Because they weren’t really his cup of tea.

Why did the man started going for body surfing every morning at the beach instead of watching the news?
Because it kept him abreast of the current events.

What would you call having mushrooms every day in the morning?
It’s what champignons eat.

What did the man say to his wife when she was grouchy all day because they ran out of bread?
“I didn’t know you were lack-toast intolerant.”

What did the man say when he woke up in the morning to find he had turned into a cat?
He said, “Don’t ask meow it happened”.

Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning?
Twirly.

I woke up this morning to find all by books and knick-knacks scattered all over the floor.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.

crush: how much do you love me??
me: well look at the stars outside
crush: but its morning
me: exactly

What would you do if you got up in the morning, ran around the blocks a few times and got tired?
I’d pick up the blocks and put them back in my brother’s toy box.

What happened when the lawyer worried about his court case and forgot to use any coffee filter in the morning?
Well, after brewing, the coffee had quite a lot of grounds to appeal.

What did the man say to his son when he wanted a frozen rito in the morning for breakfast?
He said, “so you want a brrrr-rito?”

What did the pirate always eat for breakfast?
Captain Crunch.

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food

What did the cheerleader wake her mom up with for breakfast on Mother’s Day morning?
Cheerios.

Bought one of those travelling irons yesterday.
Woke up this morning and it was gone.

Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlor to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn’t wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlor wasn’t there.

What did Tom say when his wife asked him to cook some breakfast?
“Fine, I’ll cook some pancakes,” he said flippantly.

Final Thoughts on Good Morning Jokes

We hope this article has helped you find the best good morning funny jokes to make your loved ones laugh. Crack these good morning jokes and make someone’s morning better.

Morning jokes are the best way to start your day in a hilarious way, because life is way too short to take it seriously.

Laugh in the morning and have no regrets; these morning jokes will help you with that. Have a chuckle-some morning with these good morning jokes.

This article contains all the categories of jokes to find your best choice. You can take inspiration from these jokes and make more by yourself.

You can text a morning joke to impress someone by making them chuckle, make a friend start their day hysterically laughing, or send a joke to a family group to make everyone giggle. Laughter is the key to a healthy life, so laugh your way through life!