152 Funny Jokes in English for Friends to Strengthen Your Bond

Funny jokes in English for friends are not meant to entertain kids only but they are an amazing source to cheer up an adult as well.

We all understand the value of a friend, soul sista, or Bff in our life because they help us to get through the rough patches, we all, most of the time in our life, are distracted by the funny jokes in English for friends.

Friendship is a very important element in our life for a variety of reasons, including fun times and laughing.

They keep bombarding us with their silly and absurd ‘jokes in English for friends’ just to keep us all cheered up during the time.

So, if you are one of those friends who will root for them no matter what, then keep one’s hands in for the funny jokes in English for friends to share a good laugh and countless memories. Enjoy!

Best Funny Jokes in English for Friends

Are you also looking for the best funny jokes in English for friends? Well, then get hooked to this page because we are going to take you through a wide range of funny jokes for best friend in English.

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.

You think I’m crazy? You should see me with my best friend.

Good friends will mourn your death; best friends will come and clean your computer history immediately after you die.

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.

We’ll be friends forever because you already know too much.

Friends pick us up when we fall, and if they can’t pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while.

We’ll be friends forever or until you move over an hour away.

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.

Best friends know how stupid you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.

Friends are like bras – close to your heart and there to support you!

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.

Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap.

I don’t need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

A good friend will help you move. But your best friend will help you move a dead body.

What is a meaning of a true friend?
One who remembers your birthday but not your age!

I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments, and sheer lack of common decency that we should be best friends.

Very Funny Jokes in English for Friends

Funny jokes or dirty jokes can never foster a dull moment in a conversation, instead, it keeps rolling the gossip. Have a look at the given funny jokes in English for friends and get ready for a hearty laugh.

You call me your best friend, but where were you when my selfie only had four likes?

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened?
Close the door, I’m dressing.

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

If I have to clean my house before you come over, then we’re not real friends.

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… after I finish laughing.

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Bernadette.

Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.

Best friend: the one that you can mad only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.

A friend of mine went bald years ago, but still carries around an old comb. He just can’t part with it.

How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.

Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

What do you think of that new diner on the moon?
Food was good, but there really wasn’t much atmosphere.

Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.

Extremely Funny Jokes in English for Friends

If you have friends that lift up your mood during the tiniest bit of inconvenience then we guess it’s time for you to pay back and check out the hilarious jokes in English for friends.

A good friend can finish your sentences… a best friend will do the same, but make it sound 10 times dirtier.

This the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense and have that nonsense respected.

You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.

The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.

What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.

Why won’t it hurt if you hit your friend with a 2-liter of soda? Because it’s a soft drink!

Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.

She was my rock.
My friend lives by a cliff.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn’t actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.

You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.

Insanely Funny Jokes in English for Friends

Despite the fact that, how goofy the joke was, we all keep adding things into the joke which makes it ten times more hilarious than ever. Have a look at these very funny funny jokes for friends in English to buck up your buddies on a boring day.

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things …alone.

I told my physical therapist that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you.

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.

Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, “You ever worry about that mad cow disease?” The other cow says, “Why would I care? I’m a helicopter!”

God made up best friends because he knew our mom couldn’t handle us as sisters.

Me and my best friends can communication with just facial expressions.

If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse cross the living room floor.

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school.

And God said to John, “Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies, “You’re on the other side!”

This is by far your worst idea ever…I’ll be there in 15 minutes.

She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, Damn, that was fun.

A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, “Do you want an aquarium?”
The guy responds, “I don’t care what star sign it is!”

I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room…but not too humid because. you know…my hair.

Super Funny Jokes in English for Friends

From the silliest comedy jokes to funny riddle jokes for best friends, we have got you all covered. Take a peek at these funny jokes for best friend in English that will keep you guys rolling on the floor laughing for minutes straight.

Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.

Why did the Owl invite his friends over?
He didn’t want to be Owl by himself.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.

I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this.

There’s nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for all the right reasons.

We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.

Never tell your friends, ‘I told you so’ – even when you did.

It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me.

Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs. They always take things so literally.

Short Funny Jokes in English for Friends

Need some one-liners or short funny jokes in English for friends to crack them up? Look no further, because we are going to assist you in finding the best jokes in English.

You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. But it helps.

Only real friends tell you when your face is dirty.

We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing homes.

Keep your friends close and your snacks closer.

Never let your best friends get lonely… keep disturbing them.

When I say I won’t tell anybody, my best friend doesn’t count.

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybe.

If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real.

Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends.

I used to be addicted to soap. But I’m clean now.

Some people eat snails. They must not like fast food.

What do you call the wife of a hippie?
A Mississippi.

A true friend stabs you in the front, not the back.

I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.

I invented a new word!
Plagiarism!

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.

Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.

Long Funny Jokes in English for Friends

Be it short jokes or long funny jokes in English for friends, these jokes are always full of entertainment and joy for everyone who has a good sense of humor. Get a look at these funny jokes to read and laugh out loud.

My friend once called a few house painters to his house for some work. He wanted them to paint his porch. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it is not really a Porsche.

I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. The waiter recommended that we try their special coffee. We agreed and soon the coffee arrived. As we drink the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud. Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately. The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, “Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee!”

Two Friends Talking
1st: I visited my new friend in his flat.
He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out.
I hate having visitors.

The historians had gathered for a party in Cairo after they had discovered a new mummy. The discovered mummy, on display at the party hall, suddenly woke up. Seeing the historians alarmed, the mummy said that he just wanted to listen to some music. The mummy said, “Please don’t play jazz because my trom-bones are in a very bad shape. Could someone please put on some wrap music?”

I was visiting the house of a distant cousin when I saw that he was playing chess with his cat. I said that it had to be the most intelligent cat ever. My cousin replied, “Absolutely not! She has lost all her matches!”

Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.

Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said ‘You don’t have time to change shoes. You can’t outrun that bear!’ The first man said, ‘I know I can’t outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you!

A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn’t be discussed over the dinner table. When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, “Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles.”

My brother came back from school all motivated because he said he would be following a new diet from that day. We didn’t really give it much thought until my brother really started eating his homework for dinner. When we stopped him and asked why he was doing that, he replied, “I was just trying to see how it tasted because my teacher said that the homework would be a piece of cake for me.”

After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn’t lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.

What shall we play today?” said Ginny to her best friend Jenny.
“Let’s play schools,” said Jenny.
“OK!” said Ginny. “But I’m going to be absent.

I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, “Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder.”

Clean Funny Jokes in English for Friends

Since we all are adults now, we barely get to hear any clean best friends jokes. But, don’t you worry, because we have compiled a list of clean jokes to share with your friends in public.

Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for books about paranoia. She whispers, “They’re right behind you!”

Thank you for still being my friend, despite the fact that you are completely aware of every terrifying, raunchy, explicit detail of my life.

Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.

What should you do if you’re attacked by a group of clowns? Go straight for the juggler.

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.

A group of crows was arrested for hanging out together. The charge?
Attempted murder.

Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ Then me say, ‘Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.’

I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.

Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!

A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man apologizes and whispers, “I’d like a hamburger, please.”

I finally decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust!

What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup?
Beer.

What did the nose say to the finger?
Quit picking on me!

Dirty Funny Jokes in English for Friends

You can find clean and nice jokes for your friends all over the internet. Take a quick look into these dirty jokes for friends and think twice before you share them in a crowded place.

Friends are like condoms; they protect you when things get hard.

If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won’t stop to ask directions.

“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled. “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with, ‘I can’t talk now, I’m going into a tunnel.

An old woman walked into a dentist’s office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, “I think you have the wrong room.” “You put in my husband’s teeth last week,” she replied. “Now you have to remove them.”

What’s the difference between a job and marriage?
A job still sucks after 10 years.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”

How do you make a pool table laugh?
Tickle its balls.

Why do women talk so much and why do guys think so much?
Because one has two lips and one has two heads.

What are the three shortest words in the English language?
“Is it in?”

What’s the best thing about gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes

What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it you can always just use your hands?
A fork

Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one?
Because the old one has shaky hands.

I took a Viagra the other day. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.

Funny Jokes in English for Friends for WhatsApp

WhatsApp has been one of the most used apps all around the world. Surprise your friends with the jokes for friends for WhatsApp in English written below and help them start their mornings on a lighter note.

There is nothing better than a friend …unless it’s a friend with chocolate.

I hope we’re friends until we die. Then, I hope we stay ghost friends so we can walk through walls and scare people.

True friendship: Walking into a person’s house and your wifi connects automatically.

Friends comfort you with comforting words. Best friends comfort you with comforting words too, but with sarcasm.

If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.

I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me.

Friends hide a smile and help you up when you fall. Best friends laugh so hard that they fall also.

Friendship is: having weird conversations with your friend and thinking if anyone heard us, we would be put in a mental hospital.

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like ‘What about lunch?

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.

Final Thoughts on Funny Jokes in English for Friends

All that we hear from our adults, till now is that they miss the phase of their lives when they use to sit with their gang and share funny jokes in English for friends.

To them, those were the times that are still irreplaceable and have helped them to pass tough situations of life.

This is why, we all have been injunction by our elders to choose our friends wisely, and once you do that, make sure to strengthen your bond via funny jokes in English for friends.

Thus, if you haven’t really understood the importance of your friends in your life, then value them now through the above funny jokes for best friend in English, before it’s too late!

Because, to be honest, for us jokes in English for friends is the simplest and most effective way to pick each other up when feeling blue.

Also, these jokes are ideal to send on a friend’s WhatsApp group or bring it up in a conversation while pulling up your friend’s leg. Have a blast!