216 Hilarious Duck Jokes That Will Make Everyone Quack Up in No Time

We present some of the best duck jokes just for you! These laughter-inducing jokes will keep you laughing all day. You’ll probably be unable to remove those amusing ducks from your mind after this. These duck jokes are perfect for the occasion.

Despite the fact that there are lots of wonderful bird jokes, cow jokes, bee puns, and pig puns out there, there’s something special about good duck jokes that will have everyone laughing in no time!

Some of these duck jokes are intelligent, while others are pure belly laughs that make them so excellent. Thanks to this massive list of funny duck jokes, you’ll be the ultimate jokester in your house and have everyone smiling (even if it’s while rolling their eyes).

Best Duck Jokes

The duck, with its spherical compact body, huge beak, and webbed feet, requires special attention. When it comes to best duck jokes, there are no boundaries barred, so get ready!

Ducks cannot handle stressful situations, why?
Unfortunately, they quack under pressure.

What kind of TV shows do ducks watch?
Duckumenteries.

What’s a duck’s favorite fantasy movie?
Lord of the Wings.

What was the secret agent duck named?
James Pond!

What is storytime called when you read to ducklings?
Ducktales.

What’s a duck’s favorite part of the news?
The feather forecast.

Why do ducks fly south just before winter?
Because their destination is too far for them to waddle.

One thing a goose can’t do that a duck can do is sticking its bill up its butt.

Wishing for someone to always foot your bill is like wishing for a duck.

Why do ducks, even though they can fly, decide to stay on the land?
I guess they loves selling quack!

Three animals were having a drink but they insisted that duck should pay because it has the bill.

Nothing would be out of the ordinary if a duck were to wear a duck-sedo to a party.

And a duck seeing a ducktor when its sick.

When a duck flies upside down it quacks up!

A robber ducky is when you find a duck that steals.

Guess the favorite TV show for a Duck would be the feather forecast.

A Duck with a drug problem is called a quack-head.

If Drake and Chris Brown were brothers, what would be the name of their third born?
Duck Brown!

What’s a duck’s favorite animal at the zoo?
Quackodiles.

Funny Duck Jokes

Are you in need of a BEAK? It’s the ideal weather for some of our funny duck jokes! Our laughter will make you feel as light as a feather in no time!

Ducks can only look down for a short while.
Otherwise, they get a quack in their neck.

Why don’t ducks need smartphones?
The web is already on their feet!

Do you know why ducks don’t carry spare change?
Coz they only carry bills.

Why was duck fired from his job?
“I heard he was addicted to quack.”
Why did the duck get a red card in the football game?
For fowl-play.

What did the duck’s friend say when she won lottery?
You lucky duck!

What’s a duck’s favourite vegetable?
An eggplant!

Most ducks live in what state?
Duckota.

Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.

What do you call a cow and two ducks?
Cheese and quackers.

What do naughty ducks lay?
Deviled eggs.

A duck walks in to a bar and says, “Give me a beer”.
The bartender asks, “How are you going to pay for that?”
The duck says, “Just put in on my bill.”

Two ducks were waddling down a sidewalk when, suddenly, one tripped and fell. It got up and said to the other duck,
“I’m sorry — I tripped on a quack”

Why did the duck cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

What’s a duck’s favourite ballet?
The Nutquacker.

What can swans do, that ducks can’t do but lawyers should do?
Shove their bills up their arses

Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.

Did you hear about the duck who thought he was a squirrel?
That was one tough nut to quack.

What’s a duck’s favourite taco topping?
Quackamole.

What do you call a duck that loves fireworks?
A fire-quacker.

Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are quacked.

What is a chick’s favourite drink?
Peepsi.

What did the duck say to the corn it ate for lunch?
You taste a-maize-ing.

What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.

Why did the duck get a second job?
He had too many bills.

How do ducks talk?
They don’t; they quack.

What’s a duckling’s favorite game?
Beakaboo!

Where do tough ducks come from?
Hard-boiled eggs.

Ducks would make good detectives because they always crack the case.

Why did the duck not go to the vet?

Because the duck thought the doctor was a quack!

Why was the duck put into the basketball game?
To make a fowl shot.

Put a duck in a cement mixer and you would get a quack in the pavement!

What do you call a crate full of ducks?
A box of quackers!

Who stole the fish?
The robber ducky.

Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?
It wouldn’t stop quacking jokes!

Hilarious Duck Jokes

What would you say if we tell you that these hilarious duck jokes are the funniest around? They’re the best of the bunch, and they’ll make you quack with laughter!

Ducks love surfing the internet; they use their webbed feet.

A duck had her feathers broken, so her family doctor used duck-tape to fix her feathers.

The Judge of the Duck Court asked the lawyers and the attendants to give her an egg-splanation.

The duck usually says, “Quack Quack,” but the duck was having hiccups, so she was saying “Quick-Quick” instead!

A cow and two ducks were really good friends, they were known as Milk and Quackers.

Some ducklings were playing hide and seek when the baby duck said, “beak-a-boo.”

A group of ducks planned to go out, so they were watching the news to get the feather forecast.

Two little ducks didn’t like their backpacks, so they were told to carry their school books in their quack packs instead!

The lovely duck couple went to watch a movie, they watched
‘A-nest-hesia.’

The poultry farm owner made his duck a famous singer and the duck promises to keep on singing until his Bill Withers.

My ducks are really good at saving because they have their bills under control.

The rubber duck was shocked when she saw another rubber duck walking out of a beautician’s clinic and exclaimed,
“I don’t believe you got plastic surgery done”

The duck-tective interrogated the victim ducks today, and they eventually quacked under pressure.

We fed a group of ducks in the backyard the other day, and it was really bread-taking.

The duck who lived on the 20th floor of the building wanted a pair of binoculars to get a bird’s eye view.

The duck’s favorite dance movie is ‘La La Land’, he said, “It’s poultry in motion.”

Donald Duck became an undercover operator and became a duck-tective.

The duck was declared out by the umpire in a baseball match because she did a fowl play

.
The poultry farm owner said, “My ducks are very sincere; they are really ho-nest.”

What do you call slang between young ducks?
Ducklingo.

What game does a duck play at the bar?
Bill-iards.

All the rubber ducks were named, but it was very difficult to distinguish them in spite of their names because they are looked egg-xactly the same.
The interviewer asked everyone whether they had heard about the duck who thought she was a squirrel; they replied, “Argh! That was a tough one to quack.”

Why did the two ducks disagree?
They had a normal fowl-out.

How does a duck get the information on the internet?
They use their web-bed feet.

Knock Knock Duck Jokes

Who doesn’t enjoy a good classic knock-knock joke? Check out this collection of the best knock knock duck jokes ever if you’re looking for breaking the ice with that gorgeous guy/gal at your neighborhood coffee shop.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Quack!
Quack who?
Quack open the door and you’ll see!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Duck!
Duck who?
Duck quick! My ball is heading towards you!

Who stole the shampoo bottle from the bathtub?
The robber ducky.

Why do ducks go quack quack?
Because they are unable to go woof woof.

What goes “quick quick”?
A duck with the hiccups.

Why did the duck get arrested?
He tried to quack a safe

What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up!
Where do tough ducks come from? Hard-boiled eggs.

What do you call a duck that breaks into people’s houses?
A robber ducky!

Duck Jokes One Liners

These humorous duck jokes and puns are sure to make you and your kids chuckle. Everyone will enjoy these clean jokes. Check out our collection of duck jokes one-liners to keep the laughs coming in like of quaking.

The Buddhist duck visited the mo-nest-ry every day

What do you call a crazy duck?
A wacky duck

Ducks fly to the south because it’s difficult to waddle so far.

If a duck was crossed with a crocodile, it would make a quack-odile.

The poultry owner took their ducks to the duck-tor as they were sick.

What did the cow tell the duck when she heard she won the lottery?
You lucky duck

Why did the duck get detention?
He couldn’t stop quackin’ jokes in class.

I ain’t a chicken but I ate a duck before.

Which musician do ducks listen to the most?
Drake.

What show do ducks watch on TV?
Duckumentaries.

What do mallards eat at a baseball game?
Quacker-jacks.

What is a duck’s favourite sea monster?
The quacken.

What do they say about French ducks?
They have a certain je ne sais quack about them.

I know a duck that can fix anything. Do you know what’s his name?
Duck-tape.

Guess what duck wore at the prom night?
A duck-sedo.

Guess who broke into our house last night and steal our stuff?
A robber duck.

Ducks bad drivers, Because Their windshields are quacked.

Why do ducks never grow up?
Because they grow down.
What does a duck wear to a fancy event?
A ducksedo

Why do ducks hate reading directions?
They prefer to wing it.

Why didn’t the duck have any money?
Because he already had a big bill.

What did the flying golf ball yell to the mallards in the pond?
Duck

Why did the duck go to the bank?
He wanted to get a new bill.

What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.

Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack on the sidewalk.

How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t get down off a horse — you get down off a duck.

What language can a duck who converses with geese speak fluently?
Portu-geese.

Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. What happens if you teach a man to duck?
He avoids walking into a bar.

Where can you find pictures of duck feet?
They’re on the webbed.

Cute Duck Jokes

Ducks, mallards, anas platyrhynchos, or any other name you want to give them. Few creatures can make us laugh as much as our feathered friend the duck. Stroll down this list of some cute duck jokes to choose from.

I pity the ducks who were pricked by the quack-tus and had to go to the duck-tor.

Ducks love coffee; they love bre-wing it.

The mallards consulted the duck-tionary as they couldn’t get quacks.

I saw a baby duckling in the duck house, I guess she was nest-ling.

It’s always the duck-est just before dawn.

Daddy duck was watching a film called ‘Lord of The Wings’.

The robber ducky stole the soap, so she was arrested in a fowl case.

Ducks are such creatures. Waddle I do without them?

Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.

There were no more clients for the duck doctor.
Everyone knew he was a quack

What occupies the largest space in the universe?
The duck matter.

Why were the birds laughing?
They were quacking duck jokes.

What do you have when you cram a whole bunch of ducks into a cardboard box?
A box of quackers.

Why was the duck arrested?
He was caught selling quack.

Why don’t ducks make plans?
They prefer to wing it

Why do ducks say quack?
Because they can’t say moo.
What do you call a clever duck?
A wise quacker.

What’s it called when it starts raining ducks?
Fowl weather.

Who has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Duckula.

Why was the duck arrested?
He was suspected of fowl play.

Why did the duck fall over?
They tripped on a quack.

How do you change tires on a duck?
With a quacker jack.

Best way to make a Duck sing soul music is to put it in a microwave till its bill withers.

Guess what a duck eats with cheese?
A Quacker.

What happens when a duck bends over?
Its butt quacks.

Two Canadian ducks were walking down the road one day when one of the ducks said quack. The other said “I’m going as quack as I can”

Did you hear about the duck with a drug problem?
He was a quackhead.

What do you call a duck that steals?
A robber ducky.

What Do You Call Two Ducks and A Cow?
Quakers and milk.

What Did the Duck Say When the Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill

Where did the duck lose his feathers?
Down town.

What Do Ducks Have with Soup?
Quackers.

Dirty Duck Jokes

Need a laugh to make your day and uplift the mood of your friends? So sit back and enjoy this collection of funny and dirty duck jokes you could find ever.

Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.

What do you call a ghost duck?
A poultrygeist!

What when a duck has hiccups?
It lays scrambled eggs.

What do duck physicists say?
Quark, quark.

Where do duck farts come from?
Their buttquacks.

What do you call a cat that eats a duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-puss.

How do turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill withers.

Duck Jokes for Adults

If you’re looking for spicing up your conversations with friends, this list of the funniest duck jokes for adults is a great place to start. They’re short, to-the-point, and simple to comprehend.

What do you call a fat duck?
Donald D*ck

How do we get a hard duck?
From a hard-boiled egg.

What do we call a duck that can fix other birds?
A duck tape.

What did detective duck say to his partner?
Let’s quack this case!

Why did the egg quack?
Because I dropped it.

What do French ducks say?
Quoi quoi.

What’s is a duck’s favourite drink to sip on?
Duck wine.

A man walks into the doctor’s office with a big white duck on his head.
The doctor looks up and says, “Yes, sir, can I help you?”
The duck says, “Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?”

What is a duck’s favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.

What do you call it when it’s raining ducks and chickens?
Fowl weather.

What did the lawyer say to the duck in court?
“I demand an egg-splanation!”

Ducks don’t grow up because they only grow down.

What is it called when it rains Chicken and Duck?
Fowl weather.

A Duck once crossed a baseball field, “why did you cross the field duck?”
it said the umpire called me; he screamed ‘fowl!’”

An eggroll is when a duck lays up a hill.
A Duck was sent to the principal’s office for quacking jokes during class.

When ducks are getting overdue, they go to the bank to renew it.

Duck Jokes for Kids

Here you will find a fantastic collection of amusing, goofy, and corny duck jokes for kids of all ages, teenagers, and people who refuse to grow up. When kids hear these duck jokes, they will burst out laughing!

What do ducks get when they eat fancy?
A bill.

What did mama duck say to the duckling who skipped school?
I demand an eggsplanation.

What do you get if you cross some ducks with a cow?
Milk and quackers.

A duck was scolded by the teacher as she was continuously quacking jokes in the class.

Why did the little duckling get sent out of the classroom?
He kept quacking jokes.

What does a duck say to her teacher?
Quack.

Why do ducks like campfires?
They love seeing them quackle at night.

Have you seen the hour long tv show all about ducks?
It is an excellent duckumentary.

What do pre-teen ducks hate?
When their voice quacks.

What did the duck say to the bartender when he bought his friend a drink?
Just add it to my bill.

What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.

Did you hear about the prostitute that thought she was a duck?
She charged 7 dollars a quack.

What does a duck wear to parties?
A duck-sedo.

Why was the teacher annoyed with the duck?
Because he wouldn’t quit quackin’ jokes!

What did the duck carry his schoolbooks in?
His Quackpack

What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
I hope I didn’t quack any!

Two ducks are swimming in the pond.
The first duck says, “Quack, quack!”
The second duck says, “That’s funny, I was just about to say that!”

Funniest Duck Jokes

Ducks, after all, are always popular — from the ugly duckling to Donald and Daffy, ducks have a stronghold on popular culture. We’re not among those who shy away from a challenge, so we jumped at the chance to bring you the funniest duck jokes, and here they are!

What do you get if you cross a duck with a skyrocket?
A firecracker.

What did the drake say to the love of his life?
I am fowl-ing for you.

What did the mother duck say to her broken feet duckling?
Mallard! Who did this to you?

Why do ducks fly south for the winter?
Because it is way too far to waddle.

What did one duck say to the other duck that was bending over?
I can see your butt quack.

Why did the duck cross the road?
He was following the chicken.

When it comes to trust issues, a duck is the worst, especially with doctors, because it calls every doctor quack!

Ever wondered why a duck is put in a basketball game?
Of course, to make a foul shot.

A crate full of duck is called a box of quackers.

Why don’t ducks fly upside down?
Because they don’t want to QUACK up.

What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up!
No banker can brag with a duck; its bill is the biggest.

Another name for a duck that is clever is a wise quacker.

When a plate slipped from a duck and dropped on the floor, it quickly said, “I hope I didn’t quack any.”

Imagine how a duck with a hiccups would sound: “Quick, Quick”

A man walks into the pet store and says, “How much for the duck?”
The pet store clerk says, “30 dollars.”
The man says, “Ok, just send me the bill.”
The pet store clerk replies, “Sorry but you have to take the whole bird!”

Papa duck decided to take his family for a family holiday in North Duck-ota.

Where did the duck go when he was sick?
To the ducktor.

The duck dropped some dishes and apologized, saying “I’m so sorry, I hope I didn’t quack any.”

If a duck and an elf were crossed, you would be getting a Christmas quacker.

A duck went out to watch a movie, starring her favorite actress Duck-ota Johnson.

In a group of back-yard duck friends, one duck was left alone because she was said to have quack-itude.

The duck slept without keeping an alarm but don’t worry, she’ll get up at the quack of the dawn.

What’s the difference between a duck?
One of the legs is both the same.

What does a duck say when it goes to the doctor?
Quack.

A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.
He finishes his drink and asks for his check.
Duck billed platypus.

What do you get if you put a duck in a cement mixer?
Quacks in the pavement.

What’s the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?
One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler.

I stubbed my toe and my Mom shouted at me for yelling, “What the duck!”
She was angry that I used fowl language.

Why did the duck go to jail?
He was selling quack.

What did the duck say when he dropped a dish?
I hope it didn’t quack.

Final Thoughts on Duck Jokes

We hope so you enjoy this article of amazing duck jokes. What exactly is quack-a-lackin’? Do you want to have a ducking good time? We’ve got a few jokes that should do the trick.

We scrounged the internet for as many solidly ridiculous but wholly harmless duck puns and jokes as we could. And, y’all, these jokes about ducks are some of the best you’ll ever hear.
We think they’re some of the best animal jokes on the internet, and we think you’ll enjoy them as much as we do.

They’re so amusing, in fact, that you’ll probably wish you had more animal jokes to sit around and laugh at. Our selection of duck jokes and puns will have you giggling nonstop. To summarize, keep using them for some light fun.

So, what exactly are you waiting for? Stroll down through all of the funny duck jokes to discover why they’re so fit for the…bill (too much?).