157 Hilarious Dog Jokes to Get You Barking with Laughter
Laughter has been described as the sunshine that drives away winter from the human face, and when it comes to dog jokes, the warmth and joy they bring are boundless.
As renowned psychologist William James once said, ‘We don’t laugh because we’re happy, we’re happy because we laugh.’
In the spirit of happiness and laughter, we present to you a delightful assortment of dog jokes that will surely brighten your day.
From clever puns to funny one-liners, these canine-inspired jests are scientifically proven to uplift your mood and ignite contagious laughter.
So, embark on a tail-wagging hilarious adventure filled with the best jokes about dogs!
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Table of Contents
Best Dog Jokes
Is it us, or jokes about dogs are a lot funnier than others? We have compiled funniest dog jokes ready to make you chuckle!
What do you call it when a cat wins first place at a dog show?
A CAT-has-trophy.
What do you when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower.
Which dog breed loves living in the Big Apple?
A New Yorkie.
What was the little Scottish dog’s reaction when he first saw the Loch Ness Monster?
He was Terrier-fied,
Why can’t dogs work the TV remote?
Because they always hit the paws button.
Why are dogs’ barks so loud?
They have built n sub-woofer.
What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
What do dogs order at movie theaters?
Pupcorn.
What did the waiter tell the dog at the restaurant?
Bone-appetite!
What do you do when your dog chews up your dictionary?
You take the words right out of its mouth.
What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes!
What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni pizza!
What type of market should you never take your dog to?
A flea market!
What do you get when you cross a frog with a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Which dog breed loves to take a bath.
A shampoodle.
Funny Dog Jokes
Here we present funny dog jokes that are sure to make you smile! They will have you appreciating the amusing quirks of our furry friends.
What do you call sleeping puppies?
Hush Puppies.
What’s the coolest dog?
A pup-sicle.
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because all he ever said was Rough, Rough.
What trick did the loaf of bread teach the dog?
Roll over!
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!
Why is it called a litter of puppies?
Because they’ll trash the place.
Why is a noisy yappy dog like a tree?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
He knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What’s a dog’s favorites instrument?
A trom-bone.
Why doesn’t anyone wants to work for dogs?
Because they hound their employees.
Where did the dog leave his car?
In the barking lot.
Why do dogs like conjunctions?
They just love buts.
What did the dog say to the tree?
Bark.
Hilarious Dog Jokes
Get ready to embark on a laughter-filled journey with our selection of hilarious dog jokes. You will definitely share the joy with fellow dog lovers!
When you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get?
A cockerpoodledoo!
It was time to feed the dog and my husband asked, have you seen the dog bowl? I replied, No. What’s his average?
I got myself a new watch dog. His name is Rolex.
My dog can talk…every time she licks a tree she says, ruff bark.
One athletic dog asked another, do you want to play some football? The other dog replied, No thanks, I’m a boxer.
Which dog breed is Dracula’s favorite?
Bloodhounds.
A dog walks into a bar and hops up on a stool.
He looks the bartender straight in the eye and says, Hey, guess what? I can talk. Have you ever seen a talking dog before? Amazing, right? How about a drink?
The bartender thinks for a moment and says, Sure, the toilet’s right around the corner.
Why did the poor dog chase his tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet.
What could be more incredible than a talking dog?
A spelling bee.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
What breed of dog goes after anything that is red?
Bulldog
What did the one dog say to the other before they enjoyed their bones?
Bon appetite!
What did the Dalmatian say after he ate his yummy dog dinner?
MMM, that hit the spots!
What did Darth Vader’s dog say to Luke’s dog?
Come on! Join the bark side.
What do you call a dog that can’t bark?
A hushpuppy.
When you cross a Rottweiler with a hyena, what do you get?
I’m not sure, but if it begins laughing, I’m going to join in.
Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade?
Because it was a hot dog.
Our dog brings us the newspaper every day…Funny thing is, we’ve never subscribed to any!
Why do dogs love smartphones?
Because they have collar IDs.
Why can’t dalmatians play hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.
Knock Knock Dog Jokes
A bunch of paw-some knock-knock dog jokes that will have you giggling at every door. Enjoy a paw-ty full of canine-inspired humor and endless fun!
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Woof!
Woof who?
Woof you going to do about it?
Knock-knock!
Who’s there?
Bark!
Bark who?
Bark at the moon!
Knock-knock
Who’s there?
Kanga
Kanga who?
No, that’s my funny dog’s name!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the treats, and the dog will do tricks.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and throw the ball, I’m getting impatient.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to throw the ball already?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer treats.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
Tank you for being my best friend.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Rover.
Rover who?
Rover here and play with me!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin’, they hatin’.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Fido.
Fido who?
Fido is your best friend, isn’t he?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter and jelly time, playtime with your furry friend!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chow.
Chow who?
Chow down, let’s eat together!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Collar.
Collar who?
Collar me maybe!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dachshund.
Dachshund who?
Dachshund worry, everything will be okay.
Dog Jokes One Liners
In need of quick laughs? Look no further! These one liners will definitely have you snickering and wagging your tail!
A little kid sees a police K9 car, points to the dog in the back, and asks the officer…what did he do wrong?
If dogs could read their favorite type of word would be a conjunction…because they love butts.
An old woman asked her husband why he taped a calculator to their dog and he replied, I wanted a best friend I could count on.
I threw a football and my dog caught it in mid-air…he’s a golden receiver.
My dog is as lazy as a vegetable…he’s a collie-flower.
Sally has a dog with no legs and no name, when asked why she didn’t give it a name she said, Why bother? It won’t come when I call it anyway.
My dog is the best, he goes outside and brings in the newspaper every morning…problem is, I don’t have a subscription.
Two city fleas were sitting in the park and wanted to head uptown, one turned to the other and said, should we walk, or just catch a dog?
The teacher’s dog started chewing on her dictionary, so she tool the words right out of his mouth.
A man without a lot of money saw his dog chasing his tail and said, you’re right boy, we should just try to make ends meet.
Bad Dog Jokes
Are you ready for the cringe-worthy moments with our bad dog jokes that are only thrilling. Indeed a guilty pleasure for all!
Do you know why dogs are such bad dancers?
They have two left feet, of course!
How is a tree different than a dog?
The tree’s bark isn’t as loud.
What’s the name of the all-dog Beatles Tribute band from Australia?
Dingo Starr.
Dachshunds always prefer to sit in the shade, do you know why?
Because they’re hot dogs!
Why did the cop give the pregnant dog a ticket?
She was littering.
What did the dog say when the carpenter dropped her sandpaper?
That’s ruff.
Why did the injured dog go to the mall when he lost his tail?
He needed to visit a re-tail store.
What happened every time Sean Connery told his dog to sit?
It pooped on command.
Rude Dog Jokes
The section contains humor of a cheeky nature. Brace yourself for some naughty and extremely funny dog jokes that push the boundaries.
What does a dog stay in when she goes camping?
A pup-up tent.
Why does my newborn dog never want to leave my side?
He’s in puppy love!
What genre of music do young dogs like the best?
Pup music.
How do dogs say goodbye?
Chow Chow!
Which dog breed has never done anything wrong?
Saint Bernard.
If they were to cast only dogs in movies, who would play Harry Potter?
Spaniel Radcliffe.
Which type of dog is also a lamb?
Sheepdogs!
What do dog lovers wrap around themselves when it gets cold outside?
A nice warm Setter.
Why is my dog’s back always sore?
He’s a Mastiff.
Which dog is the quietest?
The Alaskan Malamute.
What was the dog’s job at the fancy hotel?
He was a Labra-doorman.
What kind of dog should you use to help unlock a door?
An A-key-ta.
What do you call a dog that does yoga?
A Foldin’ Retriever.
When you put oil on a racing dog, what do you get?
Grease Lightning
What kind of dog never throws anything away?
A Hoarder Collie.
How do you stop a dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard!
Why do dogs need a license but cats don’t?
Cats can’t drive!
How do you stop a dog from smelling?
Cover his nose!
Why do dogs run in circles?
It’s hard to run in squares!
Why did the officer issue a ticket to the dog who gave birth on the side of the road?
Because she was littering.
How do dog catchers get paid?
By the pound!
What do puppies and pages of a book have in common?
They’re both dog-eared.
Where does a Labrador’s food go before it can be sold in stores?
To the lab for testing.
When you cross an aggressive dog with a computer, what do you get?
A lot of bites.
Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny?
All of them are really short.
Dog Jokes for Adults
For a dose of humor for grown-ups, we present a selection of dog jokes. These jokes are sure to bring a mischievous grin to your face.
What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?
A sub-woofer.
What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?
They barium.
Why did the dog walk into the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?
A greyhound buzz.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do you call a left-handed boxer?
A south paw!
What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth!
What did one flea say to the other?
Should we walk or take a dog?
How did the little scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied!
What do you call a wild dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Who is the dog’s favorite comedian?
Growlcho Marx.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang.
What looks like a dog, eats dog food, lives in a doghouse, and is very dangerous?
A dog with a machete.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to become a woofer!
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show!
What is a dog dentist’s favorite tooth?
The canine.
What is a dog’s favorite song to listen to after a bath?
Shake It Off by Taylor Swift.
What kind of dog is most like a cat?
A Purr-man Shepherd.
Dog Jokes for Kids
Calling all young joke enthusiasts! Discover a collection of dog jokes specially curated for kids. These clean jokes will keep children giggling for hours.
After accidentally swallowing Buzz Lightyear, what did the dog say to Woody?
You got a friend in me.
What is a pug’s favorite fall beverage?
Pug-kin spice lattes.
When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?
Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.
What do you call a dog that has been left outside in the cold for an extended period of time?
A chili-dog.
Did you hear about the dog who was fined for delivering puppies on the side of the road?
She was given a ticket for littering.
Why are dogs terrible dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
In English class, why do dogs like conjunctions?
Because dogs love buts.
How can you tell if you have a lazy dog?
He only chases parked cars.
Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
Because you might step in a poodle.
What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?
Their masters.
What do you call young dogs who play in the snow?
Slush puppies.
Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites.
Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?
It was a dog and pony show.
I recently planted a pet tree, and it’s like having a pet dog except…The bark is much quieter.
Want to know if your wife or your dog loves you more?
Just lock them both in a crate for a few hours and see which one is happy to see you once you open it.
What do you call a magician’s dog?
A Labracadabrador.
What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise?
Flea markets. 23.
What type of dog is constantly aware of the time?
A watch dog.
What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
Ruff! Ruff!
Dog Jokes and Puns
Enjoy wordplay adventure with dog jokes and puns. These clever linguistic gems will have you admiring the playful side of language.
What do dogs and cell phones have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call a herding dog holding a daisy?
A collie-flower.
Why did the big dog lay right next to the speaker?
Because he wanted to be a woofer.
Did you hear about the hungry scientist that tried to cross a dog and a chicken?
He wanted to get a pooched egg.
What does a dog do when it needs to take a quick break from the TV?
He hits the paws button on the remote.
Why are all dog owners optimistic?
When you have a dog, anything is pawsible.
Why do racing greyhounds look a little funny?
Because they’re always having a bad hare day.
What did the dog say when asked, how’s life?
Ruff.
What do you call a dog that wants to design his own dog house?
A barkitect.
What does a dog get when it graduates obedience school?
A pet-degree.
Final Thoughts
In the world of humor, dog jokes hold a special place.
We hope these witty and tail-wagging funny jokes have brought a smile to your face and brightened your day.
We’d love to hear your favorite jokes and see how they’ve made you laugh. Share your thoughts.
Remember, laughter is contagious, so let’s spread the joy and keep the jokes about dogs rolling!
