160 Hilarious Deez Nuts Jokes to Crack You Up

Laughter, as they say, works as a medicine, and we couldn’t agree more. In the world of humor!

There are jokes that range from the witty to the absurd, and then there are Deez Nuts jokes.

As the saying goes, ‘Laughter is the shortest distance between two people,’ and we’re here to bridge that gap with a collection of hilarious Deez Nuts jokes.

From the best ones that have stood the test of time to the funniest jests, we brought you a selection that will crack you up.

Brace yourself for a laughter-filled adventure!

Best Deez Nuts Jokes

Are you interested in the best Deez Nuts jokes? Our jokes are guaranteed to have you rolling on the floor with laughter!

Have you met my friend Phillip?
Phillip who?
Phillip on deez nuts.

Hey there buddy, I have a bunch of old albums, would you like 2 cd’s?
Sure thanks
To see deez nutz.

Hi there, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.
Dee who?
Deez nuts!

Excuse me but do you like pudding?
Yes, of course.
Well how about pudding deez nuts in your mouth.

Do you enjoy parodies?
sure why?
Well how about you enjoy a pair of deez nuts on your chin.

Have you seen the film Bofa?
Bofa? Who is in it?
Bofa deez nuts.

Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Yeah sure.
Imagine dragging deez nuts over your head.

Do you know who is coming to our party later on?
Yeah Dee is.
Dee who?
Deez nuts.

I think you should be a goblin this halloween.
A goblin? Why is that?
Goblin bofa deez nuts.

“Deez Nuts” in the direct sense refers to a gentlemans crown jewels.
Now the various viral “Deez Nuts jokes” stem from a prank call made by Welvin Harris, aka Welven Da Great.
He calls up and his dad and asks “did something come in the mail today?” and then when his dad asks “what”, he replies “deez nuts” referring to his danglers before bursting out in laughter.

Excuse me but do you like Wendys?
Yes why?
Because you are going to love when deez nuts hit you in the face.

Excuse me but do you Bofa?
Bofa? I don’t think so?
Bofa deez nuts!

Hey, are you familar with Landon?
Landon who?
Slip, fall then landon deez nuts.

Do you remember that guy Willya?
Willya who?
Willya put deez nuts on your chin.

Do you prefer the Yankees or the Expos?
Expos deez nuts!
OR
Yank on deez nuts!

You: Dee was asking after you the other day.
Person: who is Dee?
You: Deez Nuts!

Do you know the new rapper Willya?
Willya who?
Willya put deez nuts in your mouth.

How do you say “yes, I would like some” in Spanish?
“Si..”
(quickly interupt) see deez nuts!

I heard you got two Ds in math.
No, I didn’t. Where did you hear that?
You got deez nuts!

Hey, Dee was asking about you this morning.
Who is Dee?
Deez Nuts!

Have you seen the new movie called Bofa?
Bofa? What’s it about?
Bofa deez nuts.

Are you a fan of parodies?
Yes, to an extent.
Well, you are going to love a pair of deez nuts!

Have you ever gone to a trade expo?
Yes, I love expos!
Expose deez nuts then!

Excuse me, are you a fan of pudding?
Mostly yes, why do you ask?
How about pudding deez nuts in your mouth?

I heard you like Suko, is that true?
Who on Earth is Suko?
Sukon deez nuts!

Hey man, do you know what 2×4 is?
Eight, I guess.
Well, eight deez nuts!

Are you hungry? Want to grab something to eat?
Sure, why not.
Well, you can have some of deez nuts.

Do you like New York Yankees?
No, not a huge fan.
How about you yank on deez nuts!

Did you hear about what happened in Norway?
No, what happened?
Norway deez nuts can fit in your mouth.

Hey, do you like Chef Boyardee?
Who’s that?
Chef Boy-Are-Deez nuts tasty!

Funny Deez Nuts Jokes

Get ready to chuckle your way through our collection of funny Deez Nuts jokes. These lighthearted jests will make you smile in no time!

My back hurts.
Why?
From carrying around Deez Nuts!

Do you like riding on trains?
Yes.
Because you can ride on Deez Nuts!

Are you into fitness?
Yes.
Fit Deez Nuts in your mouth!

Woodja?
Woodja what?
Woodja fit both of Deez Nuts in your mouth?

Do you want to come with me to the West Indies?
The West Indies?
Yes, in Deez Nuts!

Do you know the latest on Putin?
You can Putin Deez Nuts in ya mouth.

You can’t have my heart,
But you can hold Deez Nuts!

Friend A: I can’t believe they have stayed together for more than 30 years!
Friend B: Who?
Friend A: Deez Nuts!

You will never guess who I saw hanging out together.
Who?
Deez Nuts!

Why are B and C afraid of D?
Because Deez Nuts!

You sound like Phil.
Phil?
Feel Deez Nuts!

Are you going this afternoon?
Going where
Down on Deez Nuts!

Who’s the greatest animator of all time?
Who?
Walt Deez Nutz!

Have you heard about the news in Kenya today?
No, tell me more.
Well, Kenya fit deez nuts in your mouth.

Teacher: In all your subjects I am giving you D’s.
Student: Well I am also going to be giving you D’s.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Student: Deez nuts!

Do you like listening to songs by Imagine Dragons?
Yeah sure.
Imagine dragging Deez Nuts over your head!

Do you want candy?
Yes.
Can Deez Nuts hit your face?

Do you like Tulips?
Yes
Because you’re going to love your two lips on Deez Nuts!

Hey, I heard that you are a huge fan of Dee.
Dee who?
Deez nuts!
And I thought it was Dee Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory!

Do you know Landon?
Landon who?
Trip, fall and Landon deez nuts!
Be careful! You wouldn’t want to land on someone’s nuts!

You need to shut up before you end up like Ken.
Ken who?
Can Deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Poor Ken! I don’t want to end up like him!

Hey, are you hungry or thirsty?
I’m thirsty/hungry.
You can have some of deez nuts.
I don’t need nuts. I want to drink water!

Why did Deez Nuts refuse to join the army? Because he didn’t want to be called Private Nuts.

Why did Deez Nuts go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little nutty.

What did Deez Nuts say when he saw his reflection in the mirror? “Damn, I look good!”

Why did Deez Nuts buy a new car? Because he wanted to show off his nuts on wheels.

What did Deez Nuts say when someone asked him for directions? “I don’t know about that, but you can find Deez Nuts over there!”

Sorry for dropping deez nuts in your mouth.

You need a break. A break from Deez Nuts.

Do you know Landon??! Trip fell and Landon on Deez Nuts!

Imagine a day where you see DEEZ NUTS in your face.

Why did Deez Nuts go to the bank? To cashew a check.

Hilarious Deez Nuts Jokes

We are excited to open up our best hilarious Deez Nuts jokes to you! Have a great time enjoying our rib-tickling jokes!

I am so sick of this it sucks!
What sucks?
You suck on deez nuts.

Hey Mike is Phil there?
Phil who?
Fill up on deez nuts!

Roses are red, Covid is the flu, can I quarantine deez nuts inside of you?

Hello Darling! I need new sports shoes, Can I get some money from you??
Yes.. But..
Hey, I don’t what to listen to “BUTS”
Hmm. Fine then, I’ll only give you Deez Nuts.

Do you know Candice?
Candice who? Can Deez Nuts fit in your mouth?

I wanted to ask you something about Kenya.
What? Kenya fit Deez nuts in your mouth?

Do you know a guy named Barry?
Yes, I do. Well, Barry Deez nuts!

Do you want to play?
Play what? Play with Deez nuts.

Have you heard about this new breed of bunnies that have been emerging all over town?
Oh really?
Yes, they are called Slaw Bunnies.
Oh wow, tell me more.
Slob on Deez Nuts.

Can you name a state that starts with a ‘K’ besides Kentucky?
No, what?
Have you heard of the state, Kandeeznutsfitinyourmouth?

“Honeys be like “Meth”; I be like “What?”
“We want some free CDs”; I be like “See Deez Nuts!”

What kind of nuts get bad grades?
Deez nuts!

“Hey, man are you leaving? Leaving what?
LEAVING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH”.

Do you like Vanessa Paradis?
Yeah sure
How about a pair of Deez Nuts.

What did Deez Nuts say when someone asked him how he was doing?
“I’m feeling a little nutty, but I’m still hanging in there.”

Why did Deez Nuts climb a tree?
To get a better view of the nuts down below.

What did Deez Nuts say when someone asked him what he was eating?
“Just a handful of Deez Nuts, nothing special.”

How does Deez Nuts like his coffee?
With a little bit of hazelnut creamer, to complement his own nuts.

Take a break from gagging on Deez Nuts.

Do you like Megamind? Because I hope you don’t Megamind me putting Deez nuts in yo mouth Imaooo.

Are you Thomas The Train, cause you can ride on Deez Nuts LMFOAKDNEMDND

Jimmy Fallon! Fallon Deez Nuts.

Do you want 2 CD’s? 2 CD’s Nuts.

WOODJA? Woodja fit Bofa Deez Nuts in your Moue?

Dirty Deez Nuts Jokes

For the ones who enjoy a touch of naughty humor, we’ve got you covered with our dirty Deez Nuts jokes. Enjoy some wild laughs!

What did Deez Nuts say when he saw someone staring at him?
“You looking at my nuts?”

What did the wind say to the palm tree?
Hold onto your nuts this is no ordinary blow job.

Dirty Talk
You: You wanna hear some dirty talk?
Them: Sure, what have you got?
You: Deez Nuts.
This is a classic dirty talk joke that’s sure to make your friends laugh. It’s short, sweet, and to the point.

A Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his d**k. The Bartender asks him why And the Pirate says: Argh, It’s driving me nuts.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole.

Deez Nuts Jokes for Adults

I met a person from out of town today. They are Ugondese.
I’ve never heard of that country, where is it?
Oh, just look up Ugon Deez Nuts.

I need some of these.
Some of what?
Some of deez nuts.

Have you heard of Putin?
Yes, of course.
Well, put in deez nuts!

Do you like dragons?
Yeah.
Well, I’ll be draggin’ deez nuts across your face.

You missed a bit of that bofa on your cheek.
What’s bofa?
Bofa (translate: both of) deez nuts!

Roses are red, Covid is worse than the flu, can I quarantine deez nuts inside of you?

I have a bunch of old albums; would you like 2 CDs?
Sure, thanks, dude!
To see deez nuts.

Do you know what tugboats are?
Well, some kind of boat?
Yes, tug on deez nuts!

My favorite brand of orange juice is Sunny D. Do you like it?
No, I’ve never tried Sunny D.
Sunny deez nuts!

Robin Williams starred in this great movie called House of D.
Really? I have to see it when I get the chance.
Yes, House of Deez nuts!

Would you like to have some of my goodies?
What do you have?
A bag of good Deez Nuts!

Have you heard of e10? The spaceship?
No, what’s that?
E10 deez nuts!

Guys, I just got diagnosed with SoDN!
Oh, no what is that?
Suck on deez nuts!

You’ll never guess who I saw hanging out together.
Who?
Deez nuts!

Can I borrow your pen?
Why don’t you borrow deeeeez nuts?

Have you seen my new hoodie anywhere?
What hoodie?
Who deez nuts!

Have you ever been to Chewons?
No. What’s Chewons?
Chew on deez nuts.

Would you like to get ice cream? We can try a new taste.
Yes, why not!
Well, you can see how deez nuts taste!

Are tulips your favorite flower?
No, not really.
That’s weird. You are going to love your two lips on deez nuts!

I wonder what will happen with DN after the election.
What’s DN?
Deez Nutz!

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dee
Dee who?
Deez nuts.

Knock, knock! Who’s there?
It’s your boy Dee, open up!
Dee, who? Deez Nuts!

Knock, knock.
-Who’s there?
-It’s your boy Dee, open up!
-Dee, who?
-Deez nuts!

Deez Nuts Jokes and Ideas

Are you looking for inspiration to create your own Deez Nuts jokes? Have a look at our collection of Deez Nuts jokes and ideas!

Locksmith
You: Do you know any good locksmiths?
Them: Why do you ask?
You: Because Deez Nuts need a good lock and key.
Locksmiths are professionals who specialize in locks and keys.

Hot dogs
You: Do you like hot dogs?
Them: Yeah, I love hot dogs!
You: How about some Deez Nuts on your hot dog?
Hot dogs are a popular snack food.

Bananas
You: Do you like bananas?
Them: Yeah, I love bananas!
You: How about some Deez Nuts with your bananas?
Bananas are a popular fruit.

Tacos
You: Do you like tacos?
Them: Yeah, I love tacos!
You: How about some Deez Nuts in your taco?
Tacos are a popular Mexican dish.

Chocolate milk
You: Do you like chocolate milk?
Them: Yeah, I love chocolate milk!
You: How about some Deez Nuts with your chocolate milk?
Chocolate milk is a popular beverage.

Fireworks
You: Have you ever seen fireworks?
Them: Yeah, I love fireworks!
You: How about I light up Deez Nuts like fireworks?
Fireworks are a popular form of entertainment during festivals and celebrations.

Shrek
You: Have you seen Shrek?
Them: Yeah, it’s one of my favorite movies.
You: Shrek these nuts!
Shrek is a popular animated movie character.

Nutella
You: Have you tried Nutella?
Them: Yeah, I love Nutella!
You: How about Nutella on Deez Nuts?
Nutella is a popular chocolate-hazelnut spread.

Dental floss
You: Do you floss your teeth?
Them: Yeah, I do.
You: How about using Deez Nuts as dental floss?
Dental floss is a popular tool for cleaning teeth.

Netflix and Chill
You: Hey, wanna come over for some Netflix and chill? Them: Sure, sounds good. You: Perfect, because Deez Nuts are streaming tonight.
Netflix and chill is a popular phrase used to invite someone over for a casual date or hookup.

Harry Potter
You: Do you know what happened to Harry Potter’s brother? Them: No, what happened? You: Deez Nuts became his Patronus.
Patronus is a term used in the Harry Potter series to describe a guardian that wards off dark creatures.

Pokemon
You: Have you caught any good Pokemon lately? Them: No, not really. You: You should try catching Deez Nuts, they’re super rare.
Pokemon is a popular video game and anime series that involves catching and collecting various creatures.

Grocery Shopping
You: Hey, can you help me with some grocery shopping? Them: Sure, what do you need? You: Can you grab Deez Nuts from aisle 69?

Ice Cream
You: What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Them: I like vanilla. You: Well, you should try Deez Nuts, they’re extra creamy.

Aesop
You: Did you hear about Aesop’s fables?
Them: Yeah, what about them? You: How about Aesop put Deez Nuts in your mouth?

Banana
You: Have you ever tried a banana?
Them: Yes, why? You: Why don’t you try Deez Nuts for a change?

Cumin
You: Do you like using cumin in your cooking?
Them: Yeah, it’s a great spice.
You: How about cumin’ on Deez Nuts?

Eclair
You: Do you like eclairs?
Them: Yeah, they’re delicious.
You: How about eclair Deez Nuts?

Ficus
You: Have you ever seen a ficus tree?
Them: Yeah, they’re pretty common.
You: How about ficus in your mouth with Deez Nuts?

Gatorade
You: Do you like drinking Gatorade?
Them: Yeah, it’s refreshing. You: How about Gatorade on Deez Nuts?

Honeydew
You: Have you ever had honeydew melon?
Them: Yeah, it’s sweet. You: How about honeydew on Deez Nuts?

Jasmine
You: Do you like the smell of jasmine flowers?
Them: Yeah, they’re very fragrant.
You: How about Jasmine on Deez Nuts?

Ketchup
You: Do you like putting ketchup on your food?
Them: Yeah, it’s a classic condiment.
You: How about ketchup on Deez Nuts?

Lemonade
You: Do you like drinking lemonade?
Them: Yeah, it’s refreshing.
You: How about lemonade on Deez Nuts?

Margarine
You: Do you use margarine instead of butter?
Them: Yeah, it’s a healthier option.
You: How about margarine on Deez Nuts?

Name Game
You: Have you heard of the Name Game?
Them: No, what’s that?
You: It’s where I say a name and you say ‘who?’ and I say it again and you say ‘who?’ until I say ‘Name Game, Deez Nuts.’

Yo Mama
You: Have you heard any good Yo Mama jokes lately?
Them: No, tell me one.
You: Yo Mama’s so dumb, she tried to put Deez Nuts in alphabetical order.

Pick-up Line
You: Excuse me, do you have a map?
Them: No, why?
You: Because I just got lost in your eyes. By the way, have you met Deez Nuts?

Knock Knock
You: Knock, knock.
Them: Who’s there?
You: Alpaca.
Them: Alpaca who?
You: Alpaca the suitcase, you load up Deez Nuts.

Riddle
You: I have a riddle for you.
Them: Okay, shoot.
You: What’s small, brown, and has a hole in it?
Them: I don’t know, what is it?
You: A donut. Now, have you met Deez Nuts?

Pizza Delivery
You: Pizza delivery for… Deez Nuts!