150 Hilarious Cow Jokes That Will Brighten Your Moo-d
Do you know that out of all cattles, cows have a favorite day of the week? Yeah, it’s “moo-nday!”
Well, you know that’s an old joke now but not to worry anymore because we are going to take you through a couple of cow jokes and you’re going to love them.
Cows, like these cow jokes, are an a-moo-sing creature of the animal world. They, being the major sources of dairy goods, offers a wide range of raw products that has an impact on most people’s appetites.
But, the good part is that they are not only the provider of dairy but are an amazing source of cow jokes as well.
Therefore, for your ease, we have curated an ideal list of funny cow jokes that will definitely leave you giggling, laughing out loud, or maybe chees-ing! Let’s begin the hilarious milk-ing therapy.
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Table of Contents
Best Cow Jokes
Are you looking for the best cow jokes on the internet? Then gear yourself up because we are going to take you through a bunch of cow puns. Stick till the end!
How do you know which cow is the best dancer?
See which one has the best moo-ves.
What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf?
I am not amoosed by you.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them?
In case they bypassed the milky way!
What did the secret agent cow say to the other?
Are you udder cover?
What did the cow say when he felt ignored by his friends?
“I seem to be seen but not herd.”
Why should you never buy a pair of shoes for cows?
Because they lactose
What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing?
His shadow.
Why do cows want to see Times Square?
Because it’s in Moo York City.
Why was the Youtuber so good at handling cows?
Because he was used to milking content!
What does a field mouse and a pile of grass have in common.
The cat’ll eat it. (The cattle eat it)
When is milk the freshest?
When it’s still in the cow!
Where do cows go when they want a night out?
The moo-vies.
If you see a cow climbing to the top of a hill, then you know the cream is rising to the top.
How does a cow avoid acting rashly?
She takes stock of the situation first.
It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces.
They’re officially labeled as Cowasockies.
What would you call an Arabian sitting next to a cow?
Milk-sheikh
Where would you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Funny Cow Jokes
Who doesn’t enjoy a good joke about farm animals? Of course, everyone does! Cows are the hilarious, cute animals having their own group of buddies! So, let’s dive into a few funny cow jokes which compliment them.
The cow was so excited for the day ahead that he was over the moon.
What did one cow say to the other on a cold night?
“I don’t really know about you but I’m Fresian”.
After the cow jumped over the moon, the other cows said “That’s udderly ridiculous!” and refused to jump. They were grounded beef.
If a cow is cold, you get a milkshake. But what do you get when the cow is even colder? A dead cow.
What did the coach say to the cows?
Now get out there and give me 2%!
What is a cows least favourite game to play?
Hide and seek
What is a cow’s favorite thing to do at the weekend?
They go to the cinema and watch a moo-vie.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a Smurf?
Blue cheese
What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool?
“Cow-abunga!”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
What do you call a mug of coffee that doesn’t contain a baby cow?
De-calf-inated!
Why did the farmer wear a peg on his nose when he milked his cow?
Because of the aroma from the dairy air.
A cowboy asked me if I could help round up 18 cows,
I replied ‘Of course, that’ll be 20 cows’
Did you hear about the snobby cow?
She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.
One of the reasons that I have never tipped a cow was because I have never been served by a cow before.
What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A cow pi.
What do cows drink?
They actually drink water. Except for when they were baby cows – Gotcha!
Why did the cow cross the road?
Cause it didn’t want Lady Gaga to make a meat dress out of him.
Why do cows have long faces?
Because you would have a long face too, if your tits were getting pulled twice a day.
What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
Milk of Amnesia.
How does lady gaga usually like her steak?
Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
Men say ‘Why buy the whole cow just for some milk?”
Women say “Why buy the whole pig just for a little sausage?”
Hilarious Cow Jokes
Feeling down for some reason? Well, then get yourself hooked to this amazing list of hilarious cow jokes because these jokes are surely a mood lifter. You gotta have to read them!
What do you call a cow that can’t make milk?
A milk dud.
Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
What time is it when a cow sits on your hat?
Time to get a new hat!
What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee?
Over-calfinated.
Why did the cow get impatient waiting in front of the restaurant?
She didn’t want to wait while her friend was uddering her meal.
What do you call a cow with no ears?
Call her all you want, she won’t hear you
What sound would you hear if you dropped a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
Two cows are grazing in the field.
One cow says to the other, “Hey Dorris, you worried about this Mad-Cow Disease epidemic?”
The other cow turns and says, “Why would I be? I’m a chicken.”
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it
What do you call Benny the bull when he falls asleep?
A bulldozer!
Why was the cow arrested for jumping over the moon?
Because it broke the law of physics.
What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding
What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
An Udder-Catastrophe
Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?
It was crazy, their lives were at steak.
Did you hear that NASA recently launched a bunch of Holsteins into low Earth orbit?
They called it the Herd Shot ‘Round The World!’
Where does a cow go on vacation?
MOOntana or COWifornia
What do you call the meat from a cow that died in a helicopter crash?
Kobe beef.
Knock Knock Cow Jokes
We know that you might be surprised to see knock knock jokes again, but to your dismay, these kinds of jokes were never out of trend. Catch a glimpse of the given cow knock knock jokes and let us know your feedback below.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow much longer will you put up with all this knocking?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, silly.
Cow say MOOOOOOOO.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A cow with no lips.
A cow with no lips who?
A cow with no lips said ooo ooo.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh-?
MOO!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow-a-bunga, dude!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bull.
Bull who?
Bullshitter!
Know knock.
Who’s there.
Moo.
Moo who?
Make up your mind: Are you a cow or an owl?
Cow Jokes One Liners
These moo jokes and cow jokes one liners are hilarious and perfect for a family dinner or a night out with pals. You’ve arrived at the perfect location if you’re looking to make everyone chuckle!
Make sure you show up on time, otherwise Bessie will have a cow.
The secret service surrounded the president with dozens of cows—they were trying to beef up security.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going off to school?
Bison!
What would a cow who is a member of a rock band be called?
A moo-sician.
When cows get sick what do you call it?
Hay Fever.
What do cows get as a reward when they do all their chores?
Mooney
How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
They go to an accountant.
Make sure you show up on time. If you get there late, she’ll have a cow.
It’s so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk!
How did the milkman react when he split all of the cow’s milk?
He s-cow-led.
Dirty Cow Jokes
Looking for some adult content like dirty cow jokes? Then you don’t have to look any further because we have got your back with these jovial bad cow jokes. Take a gaze.
What happens when you try talking to a cow?
Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.
What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her?
Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!
What do cows sing to each other from other the paddock?
Hello from the udder side!
What do you get when you pamper a cow?
Spoiled milk.
Why do bulls wear bells around their neck?
Because their horns don’t work
When a bull wants to listen to music what does he put on his head?
Steer phones
Child: drinking milk
Farmer: hey, what are you doing?
Child: oh I just milked one of your cows
Farmer: We don’t have any cows, we only have bulls
Child: Realizes
What happens when you mix a shark and a cow together?
I don’t know but I wouldn’t want to milk it!
Two dairy cows are beside one another in a field.
Cow 1: “I was artificially impregnated this afternoon.”
Cow 2: “Look buddy, I just don’t believe you”
Cow 1: “It really is true, straight up, no bull!”
What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit?
That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully
What do you call the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before?
Deja-moo.
What’s the difference between and orchestra and a bull?
On the bull the horns are in the front and the asshole is in the back.
Ole buys a new cow
Sven asks Ole “How’s that new cow?”
Great he replies except when I pull her teat she farts.
Did you get her from North Dakota?
I did, how did you know?
“My wife’s from there!”
What did the cow say after her date?
Give me a bell if you want to see me again!
Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump a barbwire fence?
It was an udder disaster
What did the cow and bull do for their first date?
Dinner and a moovie.
Did you hear about the cow that wasn’t interested in bulls?
She was an Ho-Moo-Sexual.
Short Cow Jokes
Cows are the most common animal that people usually joke about! Whether you are a parent or someone who is looking for short cow jokes to kill their time, these cow puns can do wonders for you.
What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow?
Udder nonsense.
What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught?
Don’t mooooooove a moo- scle.
I’m looking now but I can’t see the cows at the moment, they must be camooflaged.
I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day.Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What do you call a cow in your backyard?
A lawn-mower.
How did the customers respond to the dairy scam that happened recently?
They said “How dairy you?”
How do you know a cow is having a bad day?
They’re in a burger.
Where do cows go when they’re feeling unwell?
The farmacy.
What do you call cows with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
What two members of the cow family go with you everywhere you go?
Your calves.
What do you call a cow with only two legs?
Lean Beef.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger.
Mommy is that Uncle Joe?
What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A pat on the head!
Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes?
He kept butchering everyone.
How do farmers count their cows?
They use a cowculator.
Always massage a cow’s back right before you think about putting it out to posture.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick
How do you get a cow to stop charging?
Take away its credit card.
Cow Jokes for Adults
It’s hilarious, how these cow puns can hit the bulls-eye when it comes to cow-medy. So, moo-ve forward and get your hands on the funny cow jokes for adults because we can assure you that these jokes are extremely funny.
What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow?
An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet?
The steaks have never been higher.
What do you get when you cross a cow and duck?
Milk and quackers.
My butcher gave me beef from a female cow.
I said, “I believe this is a Miss Steak.”
Why did the cow go to the spa?
She really needed some re-hoove-ination!
What did the salesman asked the cowboy at the clothing store?
“Sir, would you like to see some bandanas and s-calves?”
What do you get when you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. – I know he’s going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
What do cows put on their hot cakes?
Moople Syrup.
Did you hear about the new cow version of the latest Will Smith movie?
Bad cows, bad cows, watcha gonna moo?
What magazine makes cows stampede to the news stand?
ACows-mopolitan.
A cow will never tell you a lie because they simply give you no bull.
Animal News Network had to fire its bovine news anchorman
Because it was unrelia-bull.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a dairy cow?
Peanut butter.
What did the trans cow say to her mom?
Bitch I’m a cow.
Cow Jokes for Kids
Do your kids enjoy a fun time together? If so, then you cannot miss these cow jokes for kids jotted below because these animal puns cannot get any better. Grab them now!
What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
Why did the cow win an award?
She was out standing in her field.
What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?
A cattle battle.
What would happen if a cow was milked during an earthquake?
It would turn into a smoothie.
Why did Cleopatra choose to bathe in milk instead of taking a shower?
Because no cow is tall enough to give a shower.
How did a cow describe himself in front of his friends?
He said that he was legen-dairy.
If you had twenty cows and ten goats what would you have?
A lot of milk
What is a cow’s favorite movie series?
Steer Wars.
Teacher: Kids what does a chicken give you
Students: Eggs
Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you
Kids: Bacon
Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you
Kids: Homework
Which Sesame Street character do cows like most?
The cownt.
One of the problems when you have invisible cows is that they are herd but they are not seen.
I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips…
Yep. It’s called pasture-ized milk.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-askai MOO-torcycle.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime.
A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn’t strong enough to lift either of them.
Corny Cow Jokes
Even if you are not a dairy eater, you cannot deny the fact that cow puns are pretty hilarious. Check out the corny cow jokes now, as these puns can crack you up at any time of the day. Have a look!
What did the cow say when someone told her a lie?
Sounds like a lot of bull to me.
What did one dairy cow say to the other?
Got milk?
Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers?
She heard he was a cowpuncher
When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply?
“I was going to say that!”.
What’s the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake
I tried raising cows, but they didn’t produce any milk. Needless to say, my venture was an udder failure.
What do you call a cow who’s forgotten how to make milk?
Udder-ly confused.
What did the cow say to the farmer?
You butter milk me soon or I’m going to cream you!
What did the child reply to his mate who told him some milk jokes?
“Nope! It’s way too cheesy.”
The farmer who got attacked by a cow took him to court to milk him for all he was worth.
Final Thoughts on Cow Jokes
No wonder, that cows are the cow-medians of the animal kingdom because they surely produce some extremely punny cow jokes.
Cows, oh cows are the most beneficial farm animal out of all. These black and white or (maybe brown and white) grass-eating monsters which moo around are among the funniest (and cutest) animals on the planet. Take a look at their tongues—they’re long enough to reach their nostrils!
So, whether you are a farm animal lover, planning a road trip to a farm, or throwing a cow-themed party, catch the hold of these a-moo-sing cow jokes and be ready to get a-moo-sd by these puns.
Not to mention, these funny cow jokes are for everyone! Either you are a ten-year-old or forty-year-old, cow and milk jokes can work perfectly for the dad jokes too.
Also, comment down below, on how many words can be fabricated by inserting a moo sound in it for a cow pun. Write it down here!
