162 Hilarious Cheese Jokes to Make You Laugh
Welcome to the land of cheese jokes. Here we have a cheesy spectacle that will have you in giggles.
Set yourself for an adventure where humor and cheese knowledge collide.
“The loveliest thing we may experience is the mysterious,” stated Albert Einstein. All genuine forms of creativity and knowledge stem from it.
Together, the science of humor and the art of cheese-making produce an intoxicating euphoria. Cheese is good, but laughter is even better, according to studies done at the University of Chuckles Ville.
So kick back, relax, and get ready to laugh till your cheese melts at this compilation of jokes about cheese.
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Table of Contents
Best Cheese Jokes
You’re about to see the pinnacle of cheesy comedy. Get primed to laugh until you cry with a collection of the funniest cheese jokes ever told.
What did the cheese say when he quoted Shakespeare?
To brie or not to brie, that is the question.
What do you call a dinosaur made of cheese?
Gorgonzilla.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese?
In best queso scenario.
What is a cheese’s favorite music?
R’n brie.
What did one cheese yell at the other?
Leave provolone.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that’s all up in your face?
Too close for comfort food.
Why did the cheese smile?
It’s Gouda brie a good day.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese?
Muenster cheese.
Why were mozzarella and feta holding hands?
They look Gouda together.
What did the detective cheese say to the suspect cheese?
I smell something swiss-picious.
What did the frustrated cheese say?
I’m feta up.
A tornado destroyed a French cheese factory.
All that was left was de brie.
Why did the cheese cross the road?
To feta to the other side.
I was walking down the street the other day when this kid threw some cheese at me.
I thought, “That’s not very mature.”
When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying?
When it’s too Gouda to be true.
What cheese do you use to coax a bear from a tree?
Come-on-bear!
I’ve got an addition to cheddar cheese…
But it’s only mild, though.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moat-zarella.
What did the manager yell to the cheese thief?
That’s nacho cheese.
Funny Cheese Jokes
Hold on to your cheese grater, because the jokes that are going to be told are about to raise the level of laughter that you experience to a completely new level.
What do you call a giant monster made of cheese?
Gorgonzilla
what do you call his brother?
Mozzarella
what did the teenage cheese yell at its parents?
Leave me provolone!
What kind of music does cheese like?
Roquefort ‘n’ roll
What other kind of music does cheese listen to?
R’n’brie
What kind of weather is extra cheesy?
Partly cloudy with a light bries.
What did one cheese say to cheer the other up?
You’re a Gouda friend, it’s gonna brie ok.
What did the cheese say to her boyfriend?
“We look gouda to-feta.”
What did the cheese do with a Kleenex?
It bleu its nose.
What did the cheese say to his boss when he quit?
“I’m leaving this place! I’m feta up!”
Why did the chicken cross the road made of cheese?
He wanted to feta to the other side.
Why did the cheese turn down the offer?
It sounded to Gouda to be true
what’s the cheesiest channel on TV?
Brie-Brie C.
Why did the cheese refuse to be cut?
He had grater plans for his life.
What does cheese shout at slasher movies?
“Look out! The killer’s brie-hind you!”
What did the detective say to the suspected cheese thief?
“I believe you’ve been up to no Gouda.”
What do you do to make a mouse smile?
Say cheese!
What did the cheese say to its doctor?
“Help me doc! I Camembert the pain any longer!”
What’s the fanciest cheese hotel?
The Stilton
What dance does cheese do on Halloween?
The Munster Mash
What did the cheese say to her friend after a makeover?
“You’re looking gouda!”
Hilarious Cheese Jokes
Hold on to your cheese grater, because the jokes that are going to be told are about to increase the level of laughter that you experience to a whole new level.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and feta physics.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a Roquefort.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look Gouda together.”
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limburger.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet?
They wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
Where does cheese stay when it’s on vacation?
At the Stilton.
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
Why was the cheese sent to his room?
It needed to mature.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice?
Ask Cheese.
Why did the cheese cry?
It was having a meltdown.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded?
De-brie went everywhere!
Why is it hard to hang out with a cracker?
He always cuts the cheese.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese!
Cheese Jokes One Liners
In the spirit of brevity, we present to you a selection of cheese jokes that pack a punch in just one line. Get ready to savor the flavor of these cheesy zingers!
A guy opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese. It’s a full business plan.
A girl had an addiction to cheddar cheese but it was only mild.
A good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder is to ask ‘is it brie you’re looking for?’
It’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover when they tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Last night, I watched a documentary about mozzarella cheese. It was G-rated.
I was told my jokes were cheesey, but I think they’re pretty Gouda.
This might sound so cheesey, but I think you are really grate.
My wife spent years perfecting macaroni and cheese from the box. It took a long time, but she finally honed her Kraft.
When mozzarella, cheddar, and parmesan rent a small beach house together it’s called cottage cheese.
After an explosion at a local cheese factory, the only thing that was left was de Brie…
Interesting to see the new Depeche Mode fromagerie. You can buy your own personal cheeses.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks. “I’ve felt grater”, comes the reply…
A local farmer tried hard to make some cheese, but didn’t quite make it. He fell at the final curdle.
I tried to make some clothes out of cheese, but then I found that from age frays…
Went to the cinema the other night to watch that new film about cheese. It was G rated.
Someone threw some butter, milk and cheese at me recently. I thought “how dairy”…. Then, they through some more mild cheese. I thought “that’s not very mature”.
Spotted a mouse in the house. I took a photo, and although he didn’t say cheese, I could tell he was thinking it.
Clean Cheese Jokes
Are you looking for jokes that are as pure as the best cheddar cheese? These cheese jokes are appropriate for all audiences, and they will guarantee a pleasant time for everyone.
Why is Christmas the cheesiest holiday?
Because of baby cheese-us!
What is a cheese diet?
Eating curds and weigh!
Did you buy a lot of cheese today?
Yes, I bought a Tamworth!
What cheese can you use to clean your teeth?
Dental schloss
What is cheese without a cracker?
Crackalackin!
When shouldn’t you believe a word your cheese is saying?
When it’s too Gouda be true!
Did you hear the cheesy weather forecast?
Rain with light Bries!
Why did Lewis Hamilton have too much cheese?
Because he won the Grand Brie!
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans!
When can’t you see a cheese?
When it’s pasteurized!
What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?
Looking Gouda!
What’s a cheese’s favorite TV channel?
The Brie Brie C!
What did Mr. Cheese say to the shop assistant when she selected the wrong size dress for his wife?
That won’t Feta!
What do they shout out at Pantomimes?
He’s Brie-hind you!
What did the cheese say to the therapist?
I Camembert it any longer!
I wanted cottage with my meal.
So I ordered from the a la curd menu!
Dirty Cheese Jokes
Prepare to enter a world of slightly more adult cheese jokes if you have a more daring sense of humor because you are about to hear some of the best jokes ever spoken about cheese.
What’s good on Cheese but not on pussy?
Crust.
I went by the deli to get a sandwich.
The deli man asked if I wanted Monterey jack, Colby jack or pepper jack. I wasn’t in the mood for cheese so I told him “jack off”…. This mayo tastes funny
making a block of cheese out of scrap is horrible.
It is absolutely de-grating.
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks directly up to the Madam, drops down $500, and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!”
The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal.”
The trucker replies, “Listen darling’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick.”
Cheese Jokes for Adults
Calling all cheese-loving grown-ups! Indulge in a platter of cheese jokes designed specifically for the mature palate.
Why did the cheese go on a diet?
It had too many curvaceous hips!
What’s a cheese’s favorite pickup line?
“Hey baby, want a little cheese with that whine?”
How do you make a cheese omelette?
Beat the eggs, whip out the cheese, and tell it a Gouda joke!
What do you call a cheese that likes to meditate?
Brie-yond Zen!
What did the cheese say to the wine at the party?
“You’re a grape companion!”
How does a cheese hide its emotions?
It puts on a provolone face!
Why did the cheese break up with its partner?
They just didn’t make a grate couple anymore.
What did the cheese say to the beer at the bar?
“You’re hoppy, and I’m cheddar!”
How do you describe a cheesy magic show?
It’s always full of illusion-curd tricks!
Why did the cheese go to therapy?
It had unresolved issues with its rind!
What’s a cheese’s favorite type of dance?
The “fondue-si” slide!
How do you handle an overconfident cheese?
Bring it down a “Swiss” notch!
What did the cheese say to its partner in crime?
“We make quite the ‘gouda’ team!”
Why did the cheese go to the art exhibit?
It wanted to appreciate the fine “brie-stol” artwork!
How does a cheese handle rejection?
It puts on a gorgonzola face and moves on!
What did one cheese wheel say to the other at the gym?
“Let’s shred some fat!”
Why did the cheese refuse to take up photography?
It didn’t want to be a “cheese grater”!
How do you make a cheese pun?
You just have to curdle the right words!
What did the cheese say to its reflection?
“I look gouda today!”
Why did the cheese refuse to tell its secret?
Because it was too “mature” for disclosure!
Cheese Jokes for Kids
Hey there, little cheese enthusiasts! These jokes are specially crafted for our youngest cheese connoisseurs. Are you ready for some giggles?
What kind of cheese can you use to hide a horse?
Mascarpone!
Why did the cheese bring a flashlight to the party?
Because it was a “sharp” cheddar!
What do you call a cheese that tells jokes?
Gouda laughs!
Why did the cheese go to school?
To get grated education!
How does a cheese greet its friends?
“Mozzarella, nice to meet you!”
What did the cheese say when it got a compliment?
“I’m feeling grate-full!”
Why did the cheese go to the dentist?
To get its “gouda” checked!
What did one cheese say to the other during a race?
“I camembert this competition!”
Why did the cheese blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What kind of cheese can you use to clean your ears?
Q-tips!
What did the cheese say to the mouse on its birthday?
“Hope you have a brie-lliant day!”
Why did the cheese take up gardening?
It wanted to grow “brie-lliant” flowers!
What’s a cheese’s favorite fairy tale?
“Rumpelstiltskin and the Three Cheeses!”
What do you call a cheese that can sing?
A dairy tale!
What’s a cheese’s favorite sport?
Squash!
How does a cheese travel?
By “cheddaring” a taxi!
What’s a cheese’s favorite dance move?
The Limburger leap!
Why did the cheese bring a ladder to the party?
Because it wanted to get crumbled up high!
Cheese Jokes for Girlfriend
Whether you want to make your girlfriend laugh or just have a fun time together, these cheese jokes for girls are the perfect way to do both. Prepare to show how cheesy you can be.
Have you heard about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a whole business strategy.
What hotel does cheese stay at?
The stilton.
What kind of cheese like to shoot hoops?
A swish cheese!
What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods?
Camembert.
I don’t know what to do with this pungent Dutch cheese, but if I had to go out on a limb, burger.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Halloumi!
How does cheese greet each other on Monday mornings?
Have a Gouda week!
What do sharks order at McDonald’s?
A quarter flounder with cheese!
What cheese can be used to hide a horse?
Mascarpone
Why does it hurt when you drop a piece of cheddar cheese on your toe?
It’s extremely sharp!
Why cheddar is considered the most dangerous type of cheese?
Because it’s sharp.
What happened when the air conditioning in the cheese factory broke?
There was a meltdown.
Cheese Jokes and Puns
Get prepared to grin from ear to ear at the abundance of puns and clever wordplay. The combination of brilliant turns and corny humor in these jokes is certain to make you laugh out loud.
I tried to think of the cheesiest way to make a good cheese pun, but it could always be cheddar
I got fired today because a customer wanted to buy a bagel with cream cheese….
I told them we only accept cash.
What do you call a self-employed cheese tester?
A brie lancer!
In Quebec, there’s a popular dish with French fries, cheese curds and brown gravy.
Seriously, I’m not poutine you on.
Did you know the Italians used to make an all-natural fiber from tomato, basil and cheese?
The used it to make short pants called caprese.
You know Swiss cheese was developed by monks in the Swiss Alps
Doesn’t that make it….
Holey cheese?
Why does God only accept offerings of Swiss cheese?
Because it’s holy.
My friend just threw a lump of cheese at me.
It wasn’t very mature.
Someone told me Trumps last order as president is to outlaw shredded cheese.
Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again
I’ve invented a car that uses cheese made from Spanish sheep’s milk as fuel
And Manchego fast
Why couldn’t the Devil find any cheese?
There’s no whey in hell.
Customer: Can I buy a bagel with cream cheese?
Worker: No, we only take cash.
On the news there was a report of a cheese factory exploding in France.
Da brie was everywhere!
Final Thoughts
Cheese has a magical way of bringing people together, whether it’s through its delectable taste or its ability to inspire laughter.
We hope this collection of cheese jokes has brightened your day and brought a smile to your face.
So, the next time you indulge in a delicious cheese platter, don’t forget to share a laugh with your friends, family, or that special someone.
And remember, the comment section below eagerly awaits your thoughts and your own jokes about cheese. Let’s keep the laughter going!
