181 Hilarious Boat Jokes That Are Shore to Make You Laugh

Prepare to embark on a voyage of chuckles and giggles with this assortment of side-splitting boat jokes!

Ahoy there, matey! If ye be a salty sea dog or just enjoy a good wave of laughter, these boat jokes will surely keep ye from going overboard with boredom.

From jokes that will make you laugh out loud to ones that will make you groan and roll your eyes, we’ve got a full range of comedic material.

Ahoy there, matey! Prepare to hoist your buoyancy aid and steer your way through a sea of rib-tickling jokes about boats that’ll have you rolling on the deck!

Best Boat Jokes

Ready to embark on a laughter-filled voyage? These best boat jokes will have you rolling with laughter as you sail through a sea of humorous punchlines.

Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish.

What do you call a fish that wears a crown?
King Neptune.

Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the boat?
Because they heard the ship had a high C.

Why did the boat get a promotion?
Because it was outstanding in its field.

Why did the sailor always carry a compass?
Because it helped him find his bearings.

How do you catch a fish with no eyes?
With a “hello” and a worm.

Why did the boat blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

What do you call a boat full of polite sailors?
A-courteous-y.

How does a boat say hello to another boat?
It waves!

Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.

How do fish communicate underwater?
Through shell phones.

Why did the boat go to school?
To improve its “sail-ence.”

How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little “boogie” in it.

What’s a sailor’s favorite kind of music?
Sea shanties.

Why did the boat bring a ladder to the party?
Because it heard things were getting ship-faced.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.

How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his “arrrrrrrrticulation.”

What do you call a fish that wears a crown and sits on a throne?
King Cod.

How do you talk to a giant sea creature?
With great tentacles!

Why did the boat break up with the lighthouse?
It couldn’t see itself with someone so stationary.

What do you call a fish with two knees?
A “two-knee” fish.

What do you call a fish that wears a crown and drives a fancy car?
Royal Highness.

Why do fish never finish school?
Because they end up getting hooked.

Funny Boat Jokes

Well shiver me timbers, it’s a landlubber! These hilarious boat jokes are shore to make waves and leave you knot disappointed. Get ready to chuckle your boat shoes off!

Why did the boat go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling a little “ship” shape.

What did the ocean say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved!

Why don’t boats make good comedians?
Because their jokes tend to sail over people’s heads.

Why did the boat start a band?
Because it already had a crew!

How do you make a boat smile?
Just wave at it!

Why do boats make great detectives?
Because they always keep their eyes on the “buoy.”

What did the sailor say to the captain of the sinking ship?
Can I help you ‘sea’ some assistance?

What did the boat say to the pier?
Are you ready to set sail on a great adventure?

Why did the boat bring a ladder to the party?
Because it wanted to “step up” the fun!

How do you catch a squirrel on a boat?
Start acting like a nut!

Why did the boat get a ticket?
Because it was parked in a “no wake” zone!

What do you call a boat that lies on the bottom of the ocean and laughs?
A “crack”up!

What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of socks?
Arrrrgyle!

How do you know if a boat is a good comedian?
It always delivers great punchlines!

What do you call a boat that can’t float?
A “docked” ship!

How do you keep a boat from sinking?
Don’t let the seagulls sit on the edge!

Why did the boat become a musician?
Because it had great “harbor” skills!

Hilarious Boat Jokes

Batten down the hatches, mateys, ’cause these boat jokes are gonna rock the boat with laughter! Hold on to your funny bone, because we’re about to tickle it!

What do you call a boat that doesn’t trust anyone?
A “doubt”!

Why did the boat’s coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!

What do you call a boat that’s gone bankrupt?
A “capsized” business!

What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You may think it’s “R,” but it’s actually the “C” (sea)!

Why did the boat start a fight with the shoreline?
It wanted to prove it wasn’t all “port” and no “starboard”!

What do you call a boat that’s full of polite sailors?
A-courteous-y!

Why did the boat’s career as a comedian sink?
Its jokes were too “punny”!

Why did the boat become a chef?
It wanted to serve up some “sea”food!

How does a boat communicate with the shore?
Through its “buoys” and gulls!

What did the boat say when it bumped into the pier?
Dock you later!

Why did the boat bring a raincoat?
It heard there was a “chance of showers”!

What’s a boat’s favorite sport?
Rowing!

What do you call a boat that can’t move?
A “stuck” ship!

Why did the boat get into trouble at school?
It was caught “cruising” through the halls!

What did the boat say to the sailor?
I’ve got your back, matey!

Why did the boat bring a broom to the party?
It wanted to “sweep” everyone off their feet!

What do you call a boat with a hole in it?
A “sinky” boat!

What did the boat say to the submarine?
You’re looking a little “under” the weather!

Why did the boat start a clothing line?
It wanted to make some “wave”-worthy fashion!

What’s a boat’s favorite instrument?
The “trombone”!

Why was the boat excited about going to the gym?
It wanted to get “a-hull” of a workout!

What’s a boat’s favorite type of joke?
“Buoy”-ant humor!

Knock Knock Boat Jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Boat! Boat who? These knock knock jokes about boats will have you laughing all the way to the port.

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah place I’d rather be than on a boat!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
No, it’s a boat, not a car, go aboard!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wave.
Wave who?
Wave goodbye to the shore, we’re setting sail!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sail.
Sail who?
Sail the seven seas with me!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Captain.
Captain who?
Captain hook the anchor and let’s go!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Anchor.
Anchor who?
Anchor down, we’ve arrived at our destination!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Buoy.
Buoy who?
Buoy, oh buoy, let’s have a great time on the water!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Port.
Port who?
Port side, starboard side, let’s explore them both!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tide.
Tide who?
Tide and true, we’ll navigate through any waters!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Seagull.
Seagull who?
Sea-gull you later, I’m off to the beach!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Oar.
Oar who?
Oar you ready to row your boat?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Paddle.
Paddle who?
Paddle faster, we’re racing against the current!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Helm.
Helm who?
Helm is where the heart is, and mine is on the boat!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cruise.
Cruise who?
Cruise control, engage!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Life jacket.
Life jacket who?
Life jacket on, safety first!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dock.
Dock who?
Dock your worries, we’re here to relax!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Marlin.
Marlin who?
Marlin Monroe once said, “Give a girl the right pair of boat shoes, and she can conquer the world!”

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yacht.
Yacht who?
Yachtta know, I love sailing!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cruise ship.
Cruise ship who?
Cruise ship, ahoy! Prepare for a grand adventure!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ferry.
Ferry who?
Ferry nice day for a boat ride, isn’t it?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bow.
Bow who?
Bow down to the power of the sea!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Stern.
Stern who?
Stern warning: Beware of the pirate ship ahead!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sailing.
Sailing who?
Sailing takes me away to where I’ve always wanted to be!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Knot.
Knot who?
Knot a problem, we’ll untangle it together!

Boat Jokes One Liners

Looking for quick and witty humor? These boat jokes one-liners deliver laughs in a concise package. Prepare for some rapid-fire chuckles!

Why did the boat get promoted?
It was outstanding in its field.

How do boats communicate?
They just give a little wave.

What do you call a boat that’s afraid of the water?
A chicken ship.

Why did the boat go to the gym?
It wanted to stay in shipshape.

What’s a boat’s favorite kind of music?
Dock and roll.

What’s a pirate’s favorite subject in school?
Arrrrt.

Why did the boat bring a ladder to the party?
Because things were getting a little rowdy.

What do you call a boat that’s on the bottom of the ocean?
A good start for a coral reef.

How do you know if a boat is drunk?
It staggers on the sea.

Why don’t boats like to play cards?
Because they might be dealing with a cheater.

What do you call a boat that can’t see?
A “sea”-nile.

Why was the boat’s report card all wet?
Because it had a lot of C’s.

How do you catch a fish on a boat?
With a book on “baitology.”

What did one boat say to the other boat?
Are you up for some ship talk?

What’s a boat’s favorite type of comedy?
Sail-ire.

How do boats greet each other?
They say, “Hi, matey!”

What’s a boat’s favorite holiday?
Sail-entines Day.

Why did the boat go to the bank?
To deposit some “liquid assets.”

What did the boat say when it passed the lighthouse?
Long time, no sea!

What’s a boat’s favorite dessert?
Shipwrecked ice cream.

Clean Boat Jokes

Sail away from inappropriate humor and dive into the clean and family-friendly fun of these boat jokes. Enjoy some laughter without any rough waters.

Why do boats make great musicians?
They have plenty of “sail-ent” talent!

What did the boat say to the sailor?
I’m really enjoying this sea-ride!

How does a boat greet another boat?
They wave!

Why did the boat’s music sound so good?
Because it had perfect “harmony”!

How do boats communicate?
Through “buoys” and gulls!

Why did the boat become a detective?
It loved solving “nautical” mysteries!

What’s a boat’s favorite TV show?
Baywatch”

How do boats stay in touch with each other?
They use shell-phones!

What did the boat say to the fisherman?
Can you please ‘tackle’ the big waves for me?

Why did the boat start a garden?
It wanted to grow its own “sea-weeds”!

What’s a boat’s favorite dance move?
The “sail shuffle”!

Why did the boat start a new career as a rapper?
It wanted to drop some “sick flows”!

How do boats in love communicate?
They send “buoyant” love letters!

Why did the boat start a club for musicians?
It wanted to create a “harbor” of talented individuals!

What did the boat say to the sailor?
I’m glad we’re sailing together, you’re my anchor!

Why did the boat invite its friends to dinner?
It wanted to have a “seafood” feast!

What do you call a boat that’s always cold?
A “chilly” yacht!

Dirty Boat Jokes

Prepare to get soaked in some hilariously naughty boat jokes. Get ready to embark on a journey into the land of mild naughtiness and brace yourself for a rosy-cheeked adventure.

Why is sailing like s#x?
When it’s good, it’s really, really good. And when it’s bad, well, it’s still pretty good!

As I gently slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I slipped my finger back out, and within seconds, she was going down on me.
I thought to myself, I really need a new boat.

Beer is like s#x in a rowing boat.
It’s f***ing near water!

Why did Pamela Anderson’s yacht tip over?
It was a bit too top heavy.

What do you call a boat that refuses to be full of seamen?
Censor-Ship.

Small Boat Jokes

Well, unless you’re trying to make a giant laugh, then size definitely matters. But for regular-sized people, laughter is the great equalizer! They may be small, but they’ll make ye laugh harder than a ship full of pirates after finding a chest of gold.

Why did the small boat go to the gym?
It wanted to work on its “row”bics.

What do you call a tiny boat that’s always on time?
A “punctu-boat”.

How do small boats communicate with each other?
Through “buoys” and gulls.

Why did the small boat bring a ladder to the party?
It wanted to “step up” its social game.

What’s a small boat’s favorite type of music?
“Mini”malist tunes.

Why did the tiny boat get a ticket?
It was caught “speed-boat”-ing.

How do small boats greet each other?
They say, “Hi, buoy!”

Why did the little boat become a comedian?
It always had a “pint-sized” sense of humor.

What do you call a boat that’s made out of a shoebox?
A “sole” boat.

Why did the small boat’s coffee file a police report?
It got “mugged” on the open water.

What do you call a tiny boat with a lot of energy?
A “high-boat”-er.

Why did the small boat bring an umbrella to the party?
It heard there would be “shore” showers.

How does a small boat introduce itself?
It says, “I’m just a little dinghy.”

Why was the tiny boat so good at math?
It had a “keel”-er instinct for numbers.

What do you call a small boat that likes to explore caves?
A “paddle spelunker”.

Why did the little boat start a band?
It wanted to make some “wave”-worthy music.

How does a small boat keep its balance?
It stays “a-float”.

What did the tiny boat say to the big boat?
You’re making some serious ‘wake’!

Why did the small boat bring a map to the party?
It didn’t want to “cruise”-tumble around.

What do you call a boat that’s smaller than a canoe?
A “canoe”-tini.

Why did the small boat start a gardening club?
It wanted to grow its own “sea”-plants.

How does a tiny boat answer the phone?
Ahoy there!

What do you call a small boat with an attitude?
A “little sassy-yacht”.

Why did the little boat enroll in cooking classes?
It wanted to become a “sail”-chef.

What do you call a tiny boat that’s afraid of the dark?
A “night-light”-vessel.

Why did the small boat go to therapy?
It was feeling a little “ship”-wrecked.

How does a little boat catch a fish?
With its “tackle” box.

What’s a small boat’s favorite kind of cookie?
“Sail”-butter.

Why did the tiny boat start a fashion line?
It had a knack for creating “a-boat-able” outfits.

Boat Jokes about Sinking

Dive into the depths of humor with these jokes about boats sinking. Just remember, it’s all in good fun, and laughter is the lifeboat that keeps us afloat.

Why do I always get a sinking feeling when I watch the Titanic?
Just floating the question out there…. Can anyone give me a tip?

An English ship on the way to Germany suddenly starts making water and is about to capsize. After some trying they finally manage to reach the coastguard “We’re sinking, we’re sinking!!”
.. A confused but also quite curious voice responds. “What are you sinking about?”

If I am ever in a sinking ship, I think I will be prepared.
Because I have a list.

Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic
Except Leo

What do you call 4 Mexican sinking in quicksand?
Quatro cinco

Mothers around the country keep sinking their teeth into Limp Bizkit’s frontman
Another mom bites the Durst.

A ship was sinking and the crew had to throw coffins overboard.
They couldn’t have any dead weight.

I’ve got that sinking feeling
Pats and taps are the same thing until you try to faucet

What keeps a whales’ boat from sinking?
Baleen

Despite my excellent instructions, my student keeps sinking instead of swimming.
He must be too dense.

A U.S. Naval ship is sinking off the coast of Europe
As soon as they found out they were in trouble, they started over the radio, “Mayday, Mayday, We are Sinking, I repeat, We are sinking!”
A little while later the German Coast Guard responds, “ Allo, zis is zee German Coast Guard, Vat are you sinking about?”

Why did the captain survive his ship sinking?
He kept a log in his cabin

I had to unclog my sink today.
I found it to be very draining.

So I named my phone Titanic
Now whenever I use Bluetooth it says that Titanic is syncing.

Why don’t Satanic boats ever sink?
Because they’re Unholy

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink…
No one listened, but he kept warning them until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the cinema.

The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life
After I thanked him, he said to me: “Don’t vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine”

I asked him, “Are you a vet?”
He answered, “Am I vet? I’m soaking”

What should you do if there’s a sink knocking on your door?
Let that sink in.

Did you hear about the guy who lit a fire in his canoe and caused it to sink?
It just goes to show, you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

Why do ships and boats sink all the time?
Because they don’t know how to swim

People always say “let that sink in”
But there is never a sink at the door.

Boat Jokes and Puns

Get ready for a tide of clever wordplay and pun-tastic humor. These boat jokes and puns will make you seas the day with laughter!

I’ve been learning to sail, but I’m still just a beginner.
I guess you could say I’m just “testing the waters.”

Why did the boat go to school?
It wanted to become “buoyant” with knowledge.

What do you call a boat that’s afraid to go in the water?
Chicken of the sea!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field, or in this case, on his boat!

How do you make a boat feel loved?
Give it plenty of “affectionate.”

Why did the boat start a band?
Because it already had a great “harbor” section!

How do you fix a broken boat?
With a “sea” wrench!

What did the sailor say to the captain?
I’m ready to tackle any wave that comes our way!”

Why did the boat break up with its partner?
It felt like they were drifting apart.

How do you communicate with a fish while on a boat?
Drop it a “line”!

What’s a boat’s favorite type of music?
“Rock” and roll!

How do boats navigate through the sea?
They use their “navigut-ion” skills.

What do you call a boat that can’t swim?
A “capsized” opportunity.

Why did the boat bring a raincoat to the party?
In case of “ship” showers!

What’s a boat’s favorite type of movie?
A “dram-atic” adventure on the high seas!

How does a boat apologize?
It says, “I’m ‘sail’-y sorry!”

How do boats express their emotions?
Through their “hull” spectrum of feelings!

What do you call a boat that loves to argue?
A “dis-ship-ute”!

How do boats greet each other on the highway?
They give a “sea” nod!

What’s a boat’s favorite type of sandwich?
A “sub”-marine!

How did the boat become friends with the lighthouse?
It just knew they had a great “beacon”nection!

Final Thoughts

We pray that these side-splitting boat puns have cruised their way into your humerus and made you buoyantly happy.

Chuckling is like a turbo boost for our spirits, propelling us through the twists and turns of existence.

Ahoy matey! We’re glad we could tickle your funny bone with our boat jokes, puns, and one-liners.

We hope you didn’t get too sea-sick from all the laughter!

If these jokes made you laugh harder than a seagull stealing a tourist’s sandwich, or if you have some jokes about boats that are funnier than a captain with a parrot on his shoulder, drop us a comment below.

Let’s keep the laughter afloat!

Keep sailing smoothly and don’t forget to show off those pearly whites!