156 Hilarious Apple Jokes That A-peels to Everybody
A fantastic collection of apple jokes is on your way to make you chuckle! If you’re looking for apple-related activities for kids, this is the right place. You’ll also find apple quips, puzzles, and apple thump jokes, and it’s just the beginning.
Aside from the fact that there is a bushel full of amusing apple jokes here, they are all spotless and appropriate for children. Ideal for parents, teachers, apple ranchers, food merchants, and anyone who enjoys apples – which is pretty much everyone.
Apples began in Central Asia and have been developed for millennia in Asia and Europe. European pioneers traded apples to North America. If perusing realities can astonish you, then, at that point, jokes about apples will, without a doubt, make you snicker.
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Table of Contents
Best Apple Jokes
You’ll need both types of art. The art of selecting the best apples, as well as the best apple jokes. For example, what kind of apples grow in the Magic Garden? Paula in red.
What did the apple say to the pie?
You’ve got some crust.
What did the apple say to the walnut?
You’re nuts.
What lives in an apple and loves to read?
A bookworm.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
Because he ran out of juice.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm after you’ve taken a bite.
What do you call a grumpy apple?
A crab apple.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a computer?
An Apple Mac.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple.
Why did the farmer decide to hang raincoats all over his orchard?
Someone told him to get Apple Macs.
What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
A pineapple.
What did the man say to the boy when they watched a fruit race?
What do you think of them apples?
What can a whole apple do that a half an apple can’t?
Look round.
Who is an apple’s favourite relative?
A Granny.
Funny Apple Jokes
Could even funny apple jokes be amusing? Let us start investigating. For example, in the case, what kind of apples are served on the death star? Empire Apples. It was a great one.
Where do the most apples grow?
The Apple-achian Mountains.
I asked Alexa to check my bank balance and tell me which Apple product I could afford to buy.
She said, “Apple juice.”
An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
If you throw it hard enough.
When is an apple grouchy?
When it’s a crab apple.
Apples have been cultivated by taking off branches of one tree and splicing them into another tree.
Luckily, animal breeders took another approach.
An old millionaire is asked how he gained his wealth…
He says, “When I was a young man in the middle of the Great Depression, all I had was five cents. With that five cents, I bought an apple, shined and scrubbed it all day, and at the end of the day, I sold it for ten cents. With the ten cents, I bought two apples, scrubbed and shined them all day, and at the end of the day, I sold them for twenty cents. This went on for a week. Then my uncle died and left me twenty million dollars.”
What’s red, green, and smells?
An apple, a frog, and your nose.
Why did the apple pie cry?
It’s peelings were hurt.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple.
Why did the apple cry?
Her peelings were hurt.
What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
Leaf me alone.
Why did the apple go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the apple go out with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date.
What did the apple say to the celery?
Stop stalking me.
Why did the apple blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.
Why did the apple cross the road?
Because he wanted to be a squash.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion a day do?
Keeps everyone away.
A doctor and an engineer are in love with the same girl.
Every day, the doctor gives the girl one rose and the engineer gives the girl one apple.
One day, the girl asks the engineer why he gives her apples when the doctor is giving her roses.
“Because,” says the engineer, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
Hilarious Apple Jokes
When you’re looking for a good laugh, try one of these hilarious apple jokes. For example, why did the apple leave with a prune? He was unable to find a date.
What happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
They lived appley ever after.
Is it true an apple a day, keeps the doctor away?
Or is it just an old granny’s myth?
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
What do you say to someone who’s too scared to plant apples?
Grow a pear.
I went to the store today to buy some apples and oranges, but they didn’t have any.
It was a fruitless trip.
I just ate a frozen apple.
It was hardcore.
What’s yellow and hangs from an apple tree?
A stupid banana.
What kind of apple throws the best parties?
A Gala apple.
Why is it harder for orange juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp friction.
We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.
And then everything crashed.
How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down a hill.
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
If you have 17 apples in one hand and 14 apples in the other hand, what do you have?
Really big hands.
If Whole Foods sells sliced apples, is it false advertising?
What do an apple and an unpaid bill have in common?
Both keep the doctor away.
Who led all the apples to the bakery?
The Pie Piper.
Knock Knock Apple Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good joke, and these knock, knock apple jokes are unquestionably the best. For example, knock, knock. Is anyone there? Apple. Who is Apple? If you don’t let me in, I’ll apple your hair.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple your hair if you don’t let me in.
Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple on the door but it won’t open.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple your hair if you don’t let me in.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
An apple.
An apple who?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Apple Jokes One Liners
Apple jokes one-liners can be just as delicious as one-bite apples. For example, which apple tennis player was famous for arguing about calls? John McIntosh. You need to level up your humor for this one.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
Take a snorkel.
What is the left side of an apple?
The part that you don’t eat.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?
Puff pastry!
Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pairs!
What’s an apple’s favorite movie?
Mr and Mr Smith.
What do you call an apple that’s been around the world?
Johnny Appleseed.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States?
Because they don’t want to be as American as apple pie.
What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple?
Worm your way out of that one, then!
What kind of apple has a short temper?
A crab apple.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?
Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby?
An Appletini.
How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi?
3.14159265
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
An outboard apple.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant?
Applebee’s.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit?
Apple-bearer.
Clean Apple Jokes
Have you ever considered clean apple jokes, no matter how clean you want your apple to be before eating it? For example, what happens when you cross an apple with a computer? An Apple Mac.
What do you call an apple who plays the trumpet?
A tooty fruity.
Why didn’t the worm go on Noah’s ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pears.
What’s the most musical apple?
The Jazz apple.
What is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Apple Pi.
What do you call a person who saw an apple store getting robbed?
An iWitness.
Apple has come up with a new revolutionary eye patch for pirates.
It’s called the iEye patch.
An apple pie in Jamaica cost $2 and in Barbados its $1.90
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Why should you not fart in an apple store?
Cause they don’t have windows.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apple gets picked.
If Apple made a car what would it be missing?
Windows…
Steve Jobs would’ve been a better president than Trump.
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
Apple just came out with a new WatchOS update, but I rejected it.
Not on my watch.
Why do apples avoid being seen with Martha Stewart?
to avoid suspicion of in-cider trading.
They’re teaching apple juicing down the road from me, but it got cancelled before I could go.
It was a pressing issue.
Apple is releasing a new product called the iKnife.
It’s cutting-edge technology.
Apple’s cars will not be that popular…
Because they don’t support windows.
Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple store?
For the watch.
My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree.
I told him, “Grow a pear”!
I think Apple is run by trendy pirates.
They’re always updating to a new iPatch.
Did you know that Apple makes your eyes feel better?
They call it iDrops.
Dirty Apple Jokes
Feel free to impress your friends with dirty apple jokes. For example, I haven’t had my apple for the day yet, so why don’t you assist me in getting the doctor away.
Check out the new operating system…
IN MY PANTS!
You’re the Apple of my iMac.
Girl, you look so good in that dress—makes you look retina display sharp and vibrant.
I gotta question…
Apple Music or Spotify
Did you see the glitch earlier?
You weren’t listed as the top hottest single.
You only need to use two fingers on my trackpad!
If I take a horizontal picture of you with my iPhone & then turn my phone vertical, you look hot.
I haven’t had my Apple for today yet girl, why don’t you help me get the doctor away…
If you were a fruit, you would be a fine-apple.
But you and me? We could be a pear.
Just finished installing OS X Lion.
There’s a frigging rocket ship in my dock!
Apple Jokes for Adults
There are numerous apple jokes for adults that you can tell people who enjoy a good laugh. If you were a fruit, for example, you would be a fine apple. But what about you and me? We might be a pear.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iPhone will keep crashing!
What type of computer does a horse like to eat?
A Macintosh.
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iPhones overheating?
Downloading images of Kim Kardashian!
Why is Apple still reporting record profits?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them!
What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6s plus?
Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple is crying their i’s out.
What do you call a Scottish iPhone?
An AyePhone.
How many Apple iPhone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
What do you get when you cross an iPhone 6 plus and skinny jeans?
A LG Flex.
What do you call an end to all fruits?
An apple-colypse.
Apple is set to release its new electric smart car in 2024…
It will be the first apple product with windows.
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge?
Cool music.
What’s the worst part about having bad gas in an Apple Store?
You can’t open windows.
Apple Jokes for Kids
Apples are frequently associated with the autumn season, but these apple jokes for kids can be enjoyed at any time. For example, what caused the football player to miss the game? He had Appled hamstring.
Me: Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?
Alexa: Apple juice.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game?
Apple-Bees.
What did the apple say to the almond?
You’re Nuts!
What do you say when a fruit wins the talent show?
How about them apples?
Dad, do you like baked apples? Yes son, why?
The orchard’s on fire.
What do u get from a perverted apple?
Hard Cider.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges?
A bad apple.
What is the left side of an apple?
The part that you don’t eat.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
It can look round.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York?
She fell for the Big Apple!
Apple Jokes and Puns
More apple jokes? We’re giving you amusing apple jokes and puns that will stick with you throughout your life. What, for example, did the worm want to be when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
You’re so hard core.
You give me all the peels.
You’re so a-peeling.
You are the apple of my pie.
To do well, you have apple-ly yourself.
I apple-laud your efforts.
I apple-solutely love you!
I apple-laud your good work.
You need more exercise so you can strengthen your core.
You rock me to my core.
A core belief is that apple puns are funny.
Final Thoughts on Apple Jokes
Apples are a very popular fruit, and they may be one of the best fruits for making jokes about. Aside from being a popular fruit, it is also the name of one of the largest technology corporations.
That’s all there is to the clever apple jokes you’ve heard about. It’s fascinating that there are so many kids interested in apples. They are full of chuckling and humor, from devices to natural products.
We truly hope you enjoyed our collection of jokes about apples, and if you did, please spread the word about these amusing wisecracks to make your environment more positive and blissful!
These apple jokes might be apple-ing. However, essentially you can rehydrate your hunger for natural product plays on words with some newly squeezed new, fresh humor!
Every one of the jokes listed above can be used anywhere and at any time. It does not discriminate against any age group.
