152 Hilarious Uranus Jokes with a Slightly Dirty Sense of Humor
Uranus, the seventh planet in our solar system, has long been a source of fascination and amusement due to its name, which sounds remarkably similar to a certain part of the human anatomy.
While we strive to maintain a professional tone, we can’t help but indulge in some slightly dirty sense of humor when it comes to Uranus jokes.
In this section, we present a collection of hilarious jokes about Uranus and memes that will surely amuse you.
So kick back, unwind, and get ready.
You May Also Be Interested In:
Table of Contents
Best Uranus Jokes
Whether you’re sharing a laugh with friends or looking for a lighthearted way to brighten someone’s day, these best Uranus jokes are here to help you.
Why should you hate people who make Uranus jokes?
They are heinous.
What do you call someone who flies a spaceship to Uranus?
An asstronaut.
Why is it so important that we keep Earth clean?
Because it’s not Uranus.
What do a proctologist and an astronomer have in common?
When they look at Uranus, it is always on its side.
How do you know if you’ve been visited by aliens from Uranus?
Crap circles.
What does space smell like?
Uranus!
Did you hear that the scientific community has finally agreed to rename the planet Uranus?
They are re-naming it to Urmama.
What has gas, liquid, and solids on it at the same time?
Uranus.
Uranus, Earth, and Pluto decide to throw a party.
Earth: so how are we going to do this?
Pluto: Don’t ask me. I don’t know how to Plan-et.
What is the difference between Uranus and Earth?
Uranus has one asshole, Earth has many.
How do you know that Saturn and Neptune are the butt cheeks of the solar system?
Uranus is between them.
Why is Neptune made up of gas?
Because it is next to Uranus.
Did you know that Uranus is the coldest place in the solar system?
So it’s safe to say the sun doesn’t shine there.
Why is Uranus classified as a planet?
After all, it is a Black Hole
Funny Uranus Jokes
Get ready to burst into laughter with our collection of funny Uranus jokes that will leave appreciating the cosmic humor of our solar system’s seventh planet.
Why was Uranus always mad?
Because it was the butt of everyone’s jokes
How do you pick a motivated astronaut dog?
It‘s the one that’s always sniffing Uranus.
Why was there only ever one mission to Uranus?
Because it was full of shit!
How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus?
Bend over and I’ll show you.
What’s worse than a satellite around Saturn?
A probe in Uranus.
What’s worse than lobsters on Mars?
Crabs on Uranus.
Why don’t we inhabit Uranus?
That place is a Gas Hole.
What will be the first thing the communists do if they own the solar system?
If you shrunk the entire solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet, Uranus would be exactly where you would expect it to be.
What did Jupiter say to Neptune?
Hey! I can see Uranus from here!
Which is a planet and a black hole at the same time?
Uranus.
Why was Mars afraid of Jupiter?
Because Jupiter Saturn Uranus.
When can you see Uranus?
Only on a “full-moon.”
What’s the farthest planet humans can see with their Naked eye?
Uranus.
Why should you never let an astronaut get in bed with you?
Because they want to explore Uranus.
What are Uranus’ moons?
Asgardians.
How do you invade Uranus?
U-planet.
Did you hear they’ve modified the Mars rover for a trip to Uranus?
Now it’s called Bicuriosity.
What do you call Uranus when it’s no longer in space?
Ass-tro-not.
Hilarious Uranus Jokes
Brace yourself! These rib-tickling jokes will take you on a laughter-filled journey through the universe of humor.
What would be the first thing communists do if they ruled the solar system?
Rename Uranus to Ouranus.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where are all the other genders from?
They were pulled out Uranus.
Why are Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson so excited for space?
They’ve fucked almost everyone on our planet and want one last shot at Uranus.
One friend was trying to tell another that Uranus is pronounced ‘Your Anus.’
The guy scoffed at him and said, “M’ars.”
Did you know that scientists have named the core of Uranus?
It’s called urectum.
Why do people always say, “I love you to the moon and back”?
That’s not really that far. The moon is only 238,900 miles away. Uranus, on the other hand, is 1.7 billion miles away.
If a man is willing to give you the Moon and the Stars, then what’s your responsibility?
You should be willing to sacrifice Uranus.
Did you hear about NASA’s decision to launch Uranus into a black hole?
Don’t think it’s a good idea to be rubbing Uranus and Heranus together.
Why did SpaceX go to Mars?
Because SpaceY already went to Uranus.
During a routine medical check-up, Ted asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?”
The doctor replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”
Ted said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”
The doctor replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.”
How is Toilet paper similar to Starship Enterprise?
It circles Uranus looking for Klingons.
If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,
Uranus would be right about where you’d expect it to be.
What did the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
“I can see Uranus from here.”
Knock Knock Uranus Jokes
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Uranus! Uranus who? Uranus with a collection of knock-knock jokes that will make you chuckle.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Uranus.
Uranus who?
My anus doesn’t have a last name, does yours?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Uranus.
Uranus who?
Uranus is a gas giant.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pluto.
Pluto who?
Pluto be all up in Uranus, that’s who!
Uranus Jokes One Liners
Short, snappy, and packed with humor, our Uranus one-liners will have you in stitches. Buckle up for quick-witted punchlines.
I wish my name was Voyager 2…
So I could have the first encounter with Uranus.
If Uranus is so gross, Why do they take HD photos of it?
Patient to doctor “will I be ok Doc?”
Doctor:”I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now”
Patient: “I dont do that astrology stuff”
Doctor:”Nor me. My thermometer just broke”
You’re so fat astronomers discovered a planet larger than earth but smaller than Uranus.
I can see uranus from here and its mighty gassy!
Better call NASA and tell them there is only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that??
Keep the planet clean it’s not Uranus.
Hubble just spotted something huge coming out of Uranus.
Why do you have to watch your back at NASA?
They want to probe Uranus.
What is big, round, and gassy?
URANUS.
The world exploded so now i need to visit Uranus.
Kids Doing A Science Project.
Kid 1. Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2. Never leave home without it.
Uranus Ur anus your anus anus is what’s in between your two buttocks.
Uranus be like.”oh look I’m Uranus imagine how disgusted I feel”
I lost all faith in humanity I am moving to uranus its really big I might get lost.
Flat Earther pickup line
The Earth may be flat,
But Uranus is round.
Many were curious about how methane ended up on Mars.
I’m pretty sure it was because of Uranus.
Clean Uranus Jokes
Embrace the lighter side of Uranus with our family-friendly jokes. These jokes are suitable for all ages and will bring a smile to everyone’s face.
What do a playboy and NASA have in common?
They both want to colonize Uranus.
What did one gay astronaut say to the other gay astronaut?
“Hmmm… Uranus or mine?”
Why do some wish their name was Voyager 2?
So they could have the first encounter with Uranus.
Did you hear about the doctor who informed his patient that they’ve found life on other planets?
He says there are worms living in Uranus.
Why did the pervert take a telescope into the bathroom?
Because he wanted to see Uranus.
Did you know that Uranus can fit 63 Earths?
Relax and we could probably squeeze in 64.
Why didn’t they let the sex molester become an Astronaut?
They didn’t want him getting near Uranus.
Boyfriend asked his girlfriend how many planets are in our solar system.
The girlfriend said, “Eight.”
The boyfriend replied, “Nope, only 7, after I destroy Uranus tonight.”
What is a Flat Earther pickup line?
The Earth may be flat but Uranus is round.
What do the Vatican and Area 51 have in common?
They are both probing Uranus.
Where’s the best place to hide drugs in space?
Uranus.
Why did the astronomer put his dick in the telescope?
To line it up with Uranus.
A conversation between grade 3 kids.
First kid: Your face is kinda similar to a planet…
Second kid: Oh yeah. Which one?
First kid: Uranus.
What’s the difference between being a prostitute or an Astrologer?
If you are a prostitute only a portion of your clients is interested in the position of Uranus.
Uranus Jokes for School
Make learning fun with our collection of Uranus jokes specifically tailored for school settings. These jokes will entertain students and educators alike.
Patient: “Doctor, am I going to be alright?”
Doctor: “I’m not too sure, Mercury is in Uranus now”
Patient: “But I don’t know much about astronomy and space”
Doctor: “Neither do I, but I do know that my thermometer just snapped inside you.”
If you look really really closely, you can see the wrinkles between the rings of Uranus.
What does Captain Kirk and folded up toilet paper have in common?………
They both hunt around Uranus looking for Klingons.
If Uranus is disgusting, why on earth do NASA take so many photos of it?
I am able to see Uranus from my house and it looks extremely gassy.
You had better get on the phone and warn NASA that there is only going to be 7 planets left after I annihilate Uranus.
Why is it best to stand against a wall when you visit NASA?
They love exploring Uranus.
We really need to keep planet earth nice and tidy.
It is not Uranus you know.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781. But this discovery was roughly 200 years before you were born. How is this possible!?
Uranus is massive!!
The winds of Uranus tend to stop and start a lot.
Many say that the wind is broken.
Uranus has more gas than BP.
The teacher asks her students “What is the closest planet to Earth?”
The class all respond by yelling out “The sun!”
Little Johnny then puts his hand up as says “Uranus”.
The teacher looks confused and asks “why do you think that Johhny?”
Little Johnny replies to her “because it is right behind you Miss”.
Your butt is always going to be bigger than Uranus.
Uranus Jokes for Kids
Kids have a knack for finding humor in the simplest things. These kid Uranus jokes are age-appropriate and will spark their imagination about the wonders of the universe.
What is the most disliked job given to staff at NASA?
Probing Uranus.
Latest space news. Uranus has a huge split in it and is leaking methane.
Did you know that Uranus is even bigger than Earth!
The teacher is taking a class and teaching her young students about the solar system.
She asks the students if any of them have any questions about the planets.
Little Johnny puts his hand up and asks “Are you able to plow through Uranus because it is made of gas?”
Two students are building a model of the solar system.
Student 1: Did you remember to bring Uranus like I asked you?
Student 2: I never leave home without it!
I hear that Uranus just floats around in space. Can you explain that?
Uranus is extremely cold.
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By examining the ring around it
Why is it that Uranus smells distinctly like farts?
Apparently NASA are extremely tired of all of the jokes that are made about Uranus so they decided to rename it to Urectum.
The biggest kept secret is that Uranus is not a planet, you are actually sitting on it!
The real space question that not even NASA can answer is why do we classify Uranus as a planet and not as a black hole?
Did you realise that earth is able to fit inside Uranus 63 times?
It is actually 64 if you really relax.
Some people believe that the earth is flat, but everyone knows that Uranus is round.
I don’t need a telescope to see Uranus.
Uranus Jokes Memes
Are you prepared to laugh out loud? These hilarious visual gags and captions will add an extra layer of humor to the cosmic fun surrounding Uranus.
When’s the only time Uranus can be observed with the naked eye?
During a full moon.
“Damn, you just destroyed those two Uranus astronauts!”
“I know, I absolutely rectum.”
During a lesson on the solar system, a teacher asks her young students if they have any questions about the planets.
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “If Uranus is made of gas, does that mean you can just plow through it?”
How did the farmer know that he was visited by aliens from Uranus?
He found crap circles.
What would be the name of Uranus if it were ruled by communists?
Ouranus.
If the solar system were represented by the human body, the Sun would be the brain, as without it, everything else would stop.
The Earth would be the heart, as it’s the source of life in the galaxy.
Uranus would the butthole for obvious reasons.
And as for Pluto, well, it would be your di*k because it’s too small to even be acknowledged.
michael jackson’s favorite planet joke
Finally getting a job at NASA after years of hard work then finding out the job description is “Probing Uranus” must be one of the most bittersweet feelings a person can experience.
What’s the difference between NASA and the NSA?
Well, obviously the extra A in NASA.
And what’s the similarity between them?
They both really wish they’d get an opportunity to probe Uranus.
How many Earths can fit inside Uranus?
You can fit 63 Earths inside Uranus, 64 if you can really relax.
What do NASA and the Vatican have in common?
They’re both super into probing Uranus.
What do you call it when the sun shines over Uranus?
Perineum sunning.
Why are billionaires like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Richard Branson so eager to go to space?
Because they’ve already fucked almost every human on Earth and can’t wait to finally get a chance at Uranus.
What’s shi*tier than the Mars rover?
The Uranus Prober.
What’s the best place to hide drugs if you’re in space?
Uranus.
Considering how many jokes Trump has made at his political opponents’ appearances, I’m surprised no one clapped back with something obvious like, “All you do is talk sh*t, which isn’t surprising since your mouth does look a lot like Uranus.”
Why is Uranus starting to get so angry?
It’s so sick and tired of being the butt of the joke.
Guy: Do you know how long it takes for a satellite to reach Uranus.
Other guy: No, can you tell me?
First guy: Actually I can show you if you just bend over.
Why did the creepy scientist bring a telescope to the restroom?
To get a better view of Uranus.
You’re so fat, NASA discovered a planet that’s bigger than Earth, but still smaller than Uranus.
My nerdy boyfriend never stops bragging about how he once saw Venus with just his eyes while driving through the countryside. It’s like “So what, I can see Uranus anytime I want.”
Last night, I saw Uranus from my bedroom window.
You know, I’d really appreciate it if you could close your blinds.
“Today, we’re going to be showing the first ever live feed from Uranus.”
“Hi, I’m Dr. Bronson and I’m going to be in charge of your colonoscopy.”
Just destroyed uranus.
What do Captain Kirk and toilet paper have in common?
They both scour Uranus in search of Klingons.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781.
How the heck did he do that, that’s literally hundreds of years before you were born.
My friend once told me that Uranus is pronounced “Your anus.”
I was like, “Your anus, M’ars.”
Why is Mars red?
It’s blushing after seeing Uranus.
What did the gay astronaut say to another gay astronaut?
“Sooo, is it gonna be Uranus or mine?”
How does being an OnlyFans model differ from being an Astrologer?
If you’re an OnlyFans model, only a fraction of your customers care about the position of Uranus.
What’s more annoying than lobsters around Saturn?
Crabs around Uranus.
I’m studying the solar system and trying to find what the temperature of Uranus is.
Hopefully it’s not too low… HOLY SH*T, it’s -353 how are you still alive?
Try your best to keep the Earth clean, it’s not Uranus.
NASA has finally decided to change Uranus’s name to put an end to all the jokes.
From now on, it’s going to be called Urectum.
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, where do all the genders come from?
They’re pulled right out of Uranus.
Astronomy professor jokes about uranus with student
What did Uranus’s immigration officer say to the Korean traveler?
Oh Uranasian; welcome home!
Teacher: Does anyone here know which planet is the closest to us?
Every student in class: Mercury!
Little Johnny: Miss, I think it’s actually Uranus that’s the closest planet to us.
Teacher: Oh! What makes you think that, Johnny?
Little Johnny: Because it’s right behind you!
Why is Uranus the coldest planet in our galaxy?
Because the sun don’t shine there.
If the Mars rover is called Curiosity, then what should the Uranus rover be called?
Bicuriosity.
Imagine how shi*ty Uranus must be feeling after decades of being the butt of the joke.
Uranus emits more gas than Exxon.
Me: I’m really jealous of Voyager 2.
Husband: Why?
Me: I wish it was me who had the first encounter with Uranus.
Why are Neptune and Saturn the buttcheeks of the Milky Way?
Because Uranus is located right between them.
Final Thoughts
We hope these Uranus jokes have brightened your day and made you smile.
Laughter is a universal language that transcends boundaries, and what better way to find amusement than by exploring the humorous side of our solar system?
Whether you enjoyed the clean jokes, the slightly naughty ones, or the clever one-liners, we’d love to hear your thoughts and see your own jokes about Uranus in the comments below.
See you soon!
