152 Hilarious Time Jokes Definitely Worth Reading

“Time flies when you’re having fun!” That’s a famous quote we’ve all heard before.

Time can have a way of sneaking up on us and before we know it, another hour, day, or even year has gone by.

But let’s not take time too seriously.

Instead, let’s have some fun with it!

We’ve rounded up some hilariously clever time jokes that we guarantee will make you laugh out loud.

These jokes not only play with the concept of time but also offer a witty take on our daily lives.

So sit back, relax, and take a few moments out of your busy schedule to enjoy these jokes about time that are definitely worth reading.

Best Time Jokes

Looking for a good way to have a laugh and lose track of time? Look no further than these hilarious time-related jokes! Get ready to chuckle and forget about the clock for a while.

What happens if you annoy a clock?
You might just tick off!

What do wall clocks do after they stop ticking?
Probably just hang around.

I bought a 24-hour clock yesterday but it has stopped working already.
It only lasted a day!

There’s a contest to find the country’s best chronometer.
So, I have put my clock forward.

My husband was not happy with the castle-shaped clock I bought for his birthday.
But it’s the fort that counts!

What do you call candy that never arrives on time?
Choco-late.

I wonder why the historian measured a clock.
Maybe he wanted to know the beginning and the end of time.

6:30 is the best time on the clock…
Hands down.

What do you call a belt made out of clocks?
A waist of time!

Why did the person hold their wall clock up to the mirror?
It was time for reflection.

What does it mean if you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it?
It’s a sign of the times.

Why did the girl put an alarm clock in her shoe?
She didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.

I went to the Halloween party as an alarm timer.
But it was really irritating when people started to wind me up!

I just got a new watch for my birthday, but it’s already broken. I’ve been meaning to take it into the shop, but it’s never the right time.

Why do so many people smash their clocks?
To kill time.

When is a tennis players favorite time?
Tennish!

Funny Time Jokes

Ready for some time-tickling jokes that will have you both giggling and pondering? Check out these top-rate funny time jokes. Get ready to laugh!

Which animal always knows the time?
A watch dog!

Why did the girl sit on the clock?
She just wanted to be on time!

What do unwound clocks say to their owners?
“It’s about time!”

Why should you stop to purchase a clock when you’re running late?
That way, you buy time!

When do you take a clock to the gazebo?
When it’s time out!

Why did Bob Dylan adjust all the clocks?
Because he said, “For the times they are a-changin”.

Around what time do most people visit the dentist?
At tooth-hurty.

Why do rich people buy a lot of clocks?
Because time is money!

They are finally making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time!

Once I tried to make a belt out of clocks.
It was such a waist of time!

If the Leaning Tower of Pisa gets a clock face, it will have time and inclination.

If you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it, it’s a sign of the times.

It’s only a matter of time before clocks take over the world.

If you annoy the clock, it might just tick off!

Wall clocks probably just hang around after they stop ticking.

I wonder if a clever clock is called clockwise.

“At the third stroke it will be 5 o’ clock, my precious,” said my brand new Tolkien clock.

There’s a contest to find the country’s best chronometer.
So I have put my clock forward.

I don’t want to see that clock on its phone anymore.
The TikToks are so annoying!

A clock on the moon is called a lunartick.

The girl put an alarm clock in her shoe because she didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.

I wonder why my alarm watch doesn’t work.
Perhaps it needs a hand.

Hilarious Time Jokes

Are you ready for some laughs while time slips away? Look no further, because we’ve got the best and funniest jokes about time right here!

What did the tick ask the clock?
“Hey, what are you tocking about?”

Why do some cuckoos not come out of their door?
They probably have stage fright!

What does the second hand say to the hour hand when they meet?
“See you again in a minute buddy!”

What do street clocks say to the tower clocks?
“High there!”

Where did the clock finish her race?
Wherever she wound up.

What do you call it when you put a clock under your desk?
Working over time.

What time is it when an elephant sits on a clock?
Time to get a new clock.

Why did the scientist put a wristwatch into the flask?
He wanted a timely solution to his research problem.

What do you call it when a shop gives out clocks with half a face at a good discount?
A limited-time sale.

Why did Bob Dylan adjust all of the clocks?
He said, “For the times they are a-changin.”

Why do wealthy people buy a lot of clocks?
Time is money!

How do you know that witches are carrying time bombs?
You hear their brooms tick.

A man was starting a new job and didn’t want to be late. So he went to the clockmakers and asked to buy a potato clock.
The clockmaker was puzzled and asked, “What’s a potato clock?” The man replied, “I don’t know. I told my wife I didn’t want to be late to work, so she told me to get a potato clock.”

What do you call the girl with the hourglass figure?
A waist of time.

I asked if I could leave work early the other day and the boss said, sure, if I made up the time.
I said, “No problem, it’s 20 past 14.”

I’m reminiscing about an old car of mine that got stuck in reverse gear.
That took me back.

11:59:59 am is my favourite time of day.
It’s second to noon.

I bought five watches the other day.
I have a lot of time on my hands….

Got a new 24 clock yesterday and it’s broken already.
It only lasted a day.

Short Time Jokes

Check out these short time jokes that are sure to make you chuckle! Whether you need a moment of humor to break up your day or just love a good punchline, these jokes are perfect. So, why wait? It’s time to read on and get your giggle on!

Which dog will always know what time it is?
A watchdog, duh!

Why do I put the alarm clock in my shoe?
I don’t want my foot to fall asleep.

Why should you never dress up as an alarm clock at a fancy dress party?
People might end up winding you up.

How would I react if you get me an alarm clock as a gift?
I’d be alarmed.

What would an unwound clock say to the owner?
It’s about time, boss.

Why do you think there was a clock in the forest?
Because it was a time-out.

Why should you never eat a clock?
Because it is a time-consuming process.

Where did the clock finish the race?
Probably wherever it wound up.

What is a grandfather clock called?
An old-timer.

Why couldn’t you keep the alarm clock in a jail?
Because it kept running out.

Why did the cuckoo come out of its little clock door?
Because it was its time to shine.

What would a robber say to the clock?
Hey you, hands up!

What happens when a clock is hungry?
It always goes back four seconds.

They’re finally making a movie called clocks.
It’s about time.

What do you call a story that one clock tells to another?
Second hand information.

Time Jokes One Liners

Even though these one-liners time jokes are short, they’re guaranteed to bring on the giggles and get everyone around you in a great mood. So, get ready to be the life of the party with these side-splitting quips!

My husband got me a timer clock out of the blue.
I was alarmed!

What do you call a story that one watch tells to another?
Second-hand information.

Why did the man throw his watch out of the window?
He wanted to see time fly.

A pocket watch is best for people who don’t like to have time on their hands.

What is another name for a grandfather clock?
An old timer!

What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
“Look Grandpa, I have no hands!”

What do you say when you find out that your grandfather clock is infested with bugs?
“Time flies!”

Why is it difficult to bring yourself to get rid of a grandfather clock?
Because it’s a timeless piece.

Why was the clock called to the principal’s office?
It was tocking too much!

Do you know when ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn!

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a clock?
A cluck.

How do you know a clock is hungry?
It goes back four seconds!

How do clocks greet each other?
They say, “Hour you doing?”

Do you know why pendulums stop moving?
They lose their swing!

What happens when you annoy a clock?
It gets ticked off.

What did the robber say to the clock?
Hands up!

Why didn’t the clock work?
It needed a hand.

Why did the man sit on his clock?
He wanted to be on time.

Time Jokes for Adults

Be ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious time jokes, but hold up! They might not be appropriate for kids, so make sure to keep young ears out of earshot.

I heard a really good time travel joke tomorrow.

Hands down, 6:30 is the best time on the clock.

Eating a clock is really time-consuming if you go for seconds.

“At the third stroke it will be 5 o’clock, my precious,” said my brand new Tolkien clock.

Pleased to say I was voted “Most likely to travel back in time, Class of 2053”.

The barman says “we don’t serve time travellers in here”. A time traveller walks into a bar.

I asked if I could leave work early the other day, and the boss said yes, if I made up the time. I said “sure, it’s twenty past fourteen”.

How can you tell when your clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.

A friend of mine has taken up eating watches, but takes forever to get through each one. It’s time consuming.

Why do you think there was a clock in the forest Because it was a time-out.

If you see a billboard with a picture of a wall clock on it, it’s a sign of the times.

It’s only a matter of time before clocks take over the world.

Where did the clock finish the race Probably wherever it wound up.

Why did the jailer throw the clock out the window? Because it wanted to see time fly.

What happens when a clock is hungry It always goes back four seconds.

What is a belt made of clocks called? Waist of time.

What did tick ask the clock? “What are you tocking about!”

What did tick ask the clock What are you tocking about!

What is a clever clock called? A clockwise.

Why do you think the man kept a clock under his work desk? Because he hoped to work overtime.

What will happen if you annoy a clock? It will get ticked off!

What will happen if you annoy a clock It will get ticked off!

Why did the boy hold his watch in front of the mirror? Because it was reflection time.

The girl put an alarm clock in her shoe because she didn’t want her feet to fall asleep.

Do you always get up on time? Well, if you’re like most people, the answer is no. In fact, many of us would rather sleep in than get up early. That’s why we love funny alarm clock jokes

Your phone has already replaced your watch, camera, calendar, and alarm clock…
Don’t let it replace your family.

In case you wanted to see time fly, reading these puns about watches might be a good idea!

A story that one watch tells to another is second-hand information.

The man threw his watch out of the window because he wanted to see time fly.

I got fired from the watchmaking factory even after all those extra hours I put in!

A pocket watch is best for people who don’t like to have time on their hands.

Time Jokes for Kids

Looking for some silly jokes that will tickle your funny bone and get your brain working? Check out these time puns that are perfect for kids! So get ready to laugh and learn about time at the same time!

What did the second hand say to the hour and minute hand?
“See you around in a minute, guys.”

For his birthday, I got my son an alarm clock that swears at him instead of beeping.
He’s in for a rude awakening.

What did the wall clock do after it stopped ticking?
It just hanged around.

What did the wall clock do after it stopped ticking It just hanged around.

Apparently, my alarm clock is transparent
I slept right through it

What time would it be if an Elephant sat on the watch?
It sure would be a time to buy a new watch.

I use my cell phone as an alarm clock.
I call it Veriz’n shine..

What would a watch ask the clock?
“Hour you doing?”

To get an alarm clock to go off, you must turn it on
I operate in the same manner

Did you hear about the boy who ate his alarm clock?
Apparently, it was really time-consuming

What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.

What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.

Time Jokes and Puns

Looking for some time jokes and puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone? Well, we’ve compiled some of the best time jokes and puns out there, so get ready to laugh your seconds off!

Ever tried eating a clock?
It’s very time consuming.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.

Do hungry time-travellers ever go back four seconds.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.

I was going to grow some herbs but I couldn’t find the thyme…

We call our dog Rolex, since he’s a watchdog.

If I wanted to have the time of my life, I would work in a clock shop.

I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in…

I heard a great time travel joke tomorrow.

Our dog is called Rolex.
He’s a watch dog.

I can’t believe I got fired from the watch factory after all the extra hours I put in.

Yesterday I bought six watches.
You could say I have a lot of time on my hands.

I was running late, so I bought a clock to buy time.

The most popular time to go to the dentist is tooth-hurty.

I got a clock book.
It’s about time.

The only animal that understands time is a watch dog.

It’s important to always remove your watch before telling any secrets. Time will tell.

A man put a clock under his desk because he wanted to work overtime.