157 Hilarious Space Jokes to Inspire Your Inner Astronaut
Do you have a passion for astronomy and a sense of humor that’s out of this world?
Look no further than these hilarious space jokes to ignite your inner astronaut!
It’s no wonder that famous astronauts like Chris Hadfield have been known to crack jokes during their missions.
Plus, studies have shown that laughter can reduce stress and even boost the immune system.
So be ready to blast off into the cosmos with these side-splitting jokes about space.
Guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and inspire your cosmic curiosity!
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Table of Contents
Best Space Jokes
Feeling spaced out? Let these top-notch space jokes ignite your astronaut dreams and put a cosmic spin on your day. Get ready to laugh your way to the stars!
I have an excellent pun about space.
It took me a long time to planet though.
In space, two aliens are talking to each other.
The first alien says, “The dominant life forms on the Earth planet have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons.”
The second alien asks, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”
The first alien says, “I don’t think so, they have aimed at themselves”
If Elon Musk’s space company establishes a Mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she’d be your….
Space x.
Two Astronauts are chilling on the space station when one turns to the other and says, “I can’t find any milk for my coffee.”
The second astronaut replies, “In space no one can, here use cream.”
Yesterday my friend told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space.
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
If Britain leaves the EU, how much space will be freed up?
1GB.
Because it is a little meteor.
Space puns are the final fun-tier
What do you call a tic on the moon?
A luna-tic.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He needed a little space.
I am amazing when it comes to telling Space Puns.
I win the constellation prize almost every time.
Why couldn’t the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave earth?
There wasn’t enough space to fly it.
Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space.
I am Buzz Aldrin, second man on the moon, Neil before me.
Some excellent life advice, don’t spend your life Saturn on the sofa.
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
What did tennis player John Mcenroe say when he went to space?
“You cannot be Sirius.”
What should you do if you see a spaceman?
Quickly park your car in it.
There are so many possibilities, I don’t have the Space or the Time to Continuim.
I am craving sugar, I need a milky way.
Last night I sat outside to watch a satellite pass by.
It went over my head.
I wanted to buy the latest telescope so I could see outer space but the cost was astronomical.
Funny Space Jokes
Take a short break from your daily grind and lift off with these hilarious space jokes. They’re sure to launch your mood to planet-hopping levels. Let’s blast off into laughter!
What should you do if you see a green alien?
Wait until it’s ripe!
What did the alien say when he was out of the room?
I’m all spaced out!
Why are dogs afraid to go to space?
Because of the vacuum.
Spaces between ladder rungs have increased because people are getting taller.
Manufacturers claim it’s due to climb it change.
Have you heard about the film they’re making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk?
Debris Does Dallas.
What do you call J.K. Rowling in space?
AstroTERF.
What did the American rocket say to the soviet rocket in space.
Good we’re alone now we can speak German.
Yuri Gagarin returned from space and Khrushchev asked him a question: “While you were up there, did you see god?”
Yuri replied: “Yes.”
“That’s what I suspected, but don’t tell anybody.”
Gagarin traveled to Rome and met the Pope, who asked him a question: “While you were up there, did you see god?”
Yuri replied: “No.”
“That’s what I suspected, but don’t tell anybody.”
Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?
Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.
What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?
3Musketeers.
What’s E.T. short for?
He has little legs.
Which day of the week do aliens look forward to most of all?
Saturnday
Last night I sat outside to watch a satellite pass by. It went over my head.
I have hit the space bar 37 times in a row now but I still remain on earth.
Being an astronaut is probably the only profession where you don’t lose your job after being fired.
I’ll try to think of more Space Puns, but I’ll need some time to planet!
Brb, Neptune-ing you out.
Despite space being a vacuum, Mars is really dusty.
It’s not that Sirius.
Yesterday I was talking to an alien from space… Turns out they eat radio-active materials. I ask it what its favorite meal was. It told me: fission chips.
Hilarious Space Jokes
Looking to lift your mood and unleash your inner astronaut? Look no further than these side-splitting space jokes! Be ready to blast off into a world of laughter and happiness.
Where can planets update their status?
Their Spacebook account.
How do you get a baby astronaut to go to sleep?
Rocket.
Why didn’t nasa send a duck into space?
The bill would be astronomical.
Using the new James Webb telescope, scientists recently discovered an enormous object in deep space that shares nearly identical chemical composition as humor in the human brain.
Ultimately it was determined to be no laughing matter.
What was the pinnacle of the primate space program called?
Apex.
I parked up in the hospital car park this morning and this official looking bloke says that space is reserved for badge holders only.
I said I have got a bad shoulder.
What do you call a building development that takes up as little space as possible?
A condominimum.
I visited the air and space museum today…
There was nothing to see there.
Space X rocket explodes minutes after take off in first test flight…
Now that’s what I call a fiery start-up.
An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space
“Lord”, he prays, ”I cannot stand this, please open a parking space for me and I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.”
The clouds part and the sun shines on an empty space in the car park. Without hesitation the Irishman says, “Actually never mind, I’ve found one.”
I heard a bunch of former soviet space engineers started an 80’s cover band…
they called themselves Buran Buran.
How do astronauts plan a party?
They planet it.
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship?
At a parking meteor!
Where do planets download their music from?
Nep-tunes.
What do you call a tick on the moon?
A luna-tick.
How do you know when the moon is going broke?
When it’s down to its last quarter.
Why did the Sun never got into college?
Because it already has quite a million degrees!
How does a Man cut his hair on the moon?
Eclipse it.
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
Why did people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it’s full.
How does our solar system hold its pants up?
With an asteroid belt.
What does the astronaut who’s watching his weight order at the bar?
A sateli-lite beet
What’s a light-year?
The same as a regular year, but with fewer calories.
Space Jokes One Liners
Looking to unleash your inner astronaut and get everyone laughing? Look no further than these hilarious one-liner space jokes! Be ready to blast off into a world of unforgettable puns and knee-slapping hilarity.
Sa-TURN down for what?
The scientists’ new paper about alien life forms didn’t get published. It was too far out.
Get outer my space!
I took a rocket science course last year. It was a blast.
Saturn’s name is the best in our solar system — it has a nice ring to it.
I need more space.
Space was cool before it mattered.
There is apparently a black hole in Uranus.
Orion’s Belt is a big waist of space. Terrible pun sorry, it is only 3 stars.
There are so many possibilities, I don’t have the Space or the Time to Continuum.
Space puns are the final fun-tier.
It’s just a phase, mom.
I would love to go to space, but the cost is astronomical!
Dirty Space Jokes
These hilariously dirty space jokes are guaranteed to bring the fun and get everyone giggling. Give them a try and you’ll see what we mean!
What do you call the space between the breasts of a woman with implants?
Silicone valley.
You’re living. You have mass. You occupy space. Do you know what that means?
You matter.
In light of “jewish” space lasers
1939
A Jewish man was sitting in the New York Metro reading a german newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be in the same subway , noticed this strange phenomenon.
Very upset, he approached him and said:
‘Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading a nazi newspaper?’r>
Moshe replied, ‘I used to read the Jewish newspapers, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Jews fleeing their country, Jews disappearing, Jews living in poverty… I got so depressed!
So I switched to the Nazi newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much more uplifting!’
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, ‘Look at these, they’re the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.’
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, ‘OK, your Majesty, you may go in.’
Dolly is outraged and asks, ‘What was that all about?
I show you two of God’s own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
‘Sorry, Dolly,’ says the Angel, ‘but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush beats a Pair. No matter how big they are.
What happens when an astronaut masturbates in space?
They defile gravity.
Space Tourism
One of the car hire companies was looking at diversification, to be able to better cope in the next pandemic.
They started getting interested in the space tourism market, currently dominated by companies such as Blue Origin, Virgin Galactic and SpaceX. They needed a hook to make them stand out from the pack though.
They figured that rather than concentrate on low earth orbit like the others, they’d look at interplanetary space – first the moon, then Mars,, and beyond.
Vision created, they then spun off a new subsidiary, called Uranus Hertz.
How much space is needed for fungi to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
What do you call the space between 2 artificial breasts?
Silicone Valley……
I’ll leave and close the door behind me.
Why are Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson so excited for space?
They’ve fucked almost everyone on our planet and want one last shot at Uranus.
All it takes is one short space…
And the therapist has become the rapist.
A man is late for work, and desperately tries to find a parking space…
His boss has already told him before that if he is late one more time, he’ll be fired on the spot.
The man is circling around the parking lot, but still all the spaces are completely full.
Suddenly, the man stops his car, puts his hands together and looks towards the sky.
“Dear Almighty God!” he says, “Please let a space be free! I need this job! I promise if you give me a space, I’ll quit smoking, quit drinking and only have sex again once I am married. Please God, help me out…”
Then, when the man looks down, he sees it. A free space, just ahead on his left. It shines in a golden beam of light coming down from the clouds. The man looks up once more and says,
“Actually God, it’s alright, I just found a space.”
If you wish to visit Outer Space, you’re an Astronaut
If you wish to visit Uranus, you’re an Ass-tronaut.
Space Jokes for Adults
These space jokes guaranteed to bring some fun to your day. But fair warning – these jokes are for grown-ups only. So go ahead and give them a quick try!
What do planets like to read?
Comet books!
Einstein asks his wife what she needed from him. She replied, “Just two things, space and time.”
Einstein: “Ok, what’s the 2nd thing?”
I can’t wait until we colonize space
And then it’s two worlds one cup.
There are no queues in space
Everything’s waitless.
Why is the internet so bad in outer space?
It’s 0 g.
Canada’s starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon
They’re calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
Today SpaceX announced plans to launch several Guernsey cows into low earth orbit
They shall be known as “The Herd Shot Round The World.”
How do you organise a space party?
You planet.
I tried to start a comedy club in outer space once.
But sadly there was no atmosphere on opening night.
Orion’s Belt is a waist of space.
Bad pun, I know. 3 stars at best.
Why is space so cold?
Because we have all the space heaters down here.
Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon.
Why would a cow want to go to space?
To see the Milky Way.
What do you call someone who’s NOT a vegetarian?
A meteor.
Which is closer, Florida or the moon?
The moon. You can’t see Florida from here.
Which stars wear glasses?
Movie stars.
If athletes get athletes foot then what do astronauts get?
Missle-toe.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
What kind of money is used for trade-in outer space?
Star bucks.
What did Jupiter say to Saturn?
“I like you, give me a ring sometime.”
How do you start a fight in space?
“Comet me bro.”
Why did Venus dump Mars?
She only wanted a pluto-nic relationship.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon.
What do you get when you cross a lamb and a rocket?
A space sheep!
What do you call the lights on a lunar rover?
Moonbeams.
Space Jokes for Kids
Looking for a way to ignite your kid’s imagination with a good laugh? These space jokes are not only hilarious, but they’ll also get your little ones thinking about the wonders of the universe.
Why did the astronaut break up with her boyfriend?
Because she needed some space.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astronut.
What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
What did the doctor say to the rocket ship?
“Time to get your booster shot!”
What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes?
“I guess you had to be there.”
Why couldn’t the astronaut focus?
He kept spacing out.
What time do astronauts eat?
At launch time!
Did you hear what happened when Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon?
He didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.
Where do aliens go for a drink?
The space bar.
Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
What did the alien say to the garden?
Take me to your weeder!
Why haven’t aliens come to our solar system yet?
They read the reviews: One star.
What is the slowest of all species in the galaxy?
Snailiens.
What do aliens on the metric system say?
Take me to your liter.
Space Jokes and Puns
Check out these space jokes and puns to explore some out-of-this-world humor! They’re sure to get your astronaut-inspired imagination orbiting in no time. Give them a go and let the fun begin!
You rock my world.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity… it’s impossible to put down.
You’re out of this world!
You’ve abducted my heart.
You’re my whole universe.
You’re a blast!
I’m over the moon for you!
I love you to the moon and back.
Are you a meteor? Because you rock my world.
I sent all your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.
Let’s get astrophysical.
I took Astronomy to count all the stars in your eyes.
You’re hotter than Venus.
You must be the Sun because you are hot!
Are you Mercury?
Because you’ll always be first to me.
You must be a planet and I must be a moon because I totally revolve around you.
Are you an alien?
Because you’re out of this world.
Are you a carbon sample?
Because I want to date you.
You must be the sun because you’re the center of my universe.
You deserve a ring the size of Saturn’s.
Final Thoughts
All in all, space jokes are certain to lift your spirits.
These jokes about space can help you fulfill your mission of unlocking laughter and enjoying plenty of fun moments.
Plus, these jokes will make for an intergalactic conversation starter at any social event or outing.
Whether you are a fan of science fiction or not, these quips and puns will bring a smile to anyone’s face.
So go ahead!
Unleash your inner astronaut and make those around you laugh!
And don’t forget to comment in the comments section about this post below if you enjoy them as much as we do!
Until next time, fasten your seatbelt and prepare for takeoff!
