154 Hilarious Sleep Jokes That’ll Keep You Awake All Night
Sleep jokes are for everyone, whether you are a sleepyhead or find it difficult to sleep.
While amusing sleep time jokes are appealing to all drained and lethargic individuals out there, the absence of rest jokes will appeal to all light sleepers.
We who enjoy sleeping look forward to the night when we can return to our beds. Rest is possibly the best type of unwinding after a long and exhausting day.
In any case, do you have any suggestions for how to improve the loosening up experience? Some clever and amusing jokes about sleeping can help!
Our collection of nap jokes will have you laughing before you go to bed! After all, we need to relieve stress in order to sleep, so we can do so by telling sleep jokes.
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Table of Contents
Best Sleep Jokes
Best sleep jokes can assist us in falling asleep much more quickly rather than taking a long time. For example, what is huge, grayish, and capable of putting people to sleep? The Hypno-potamus.
What is huge, grayish, and can send people to sleep?
A hypno-potamus.
What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?
People.
How often should you sleep in a tower?
Every fortnight.
How do baby bats learn to sleep upside down?
They slowly get the hang of it.
Why did the girl take a ruler with her to bed?
To see how long she sleeps.
Why do dragons sleep in the day time?
So they can fight knights!
Why did the meatballs tell the spaghetti to close its eyes and go to sleep?
It was pasta bedtime!
Why did the nurse tiptoe past the medicine cupboard?
She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills!
What did the Mummy cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime!
What do you call a snoozing dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
What do you call a snoozing dinosaurs sleepy friend?
A stega-snore-us!
Which bit of art equipment makes you tired?
A craYAWN!
What did the Mummy broom say to the baby broom?
It’s time to go to sweep!
What do you call a really sleepy egg?
Egg-zosted!
What’s the sleepiest food?
PiZZZZZZa!
What did Bruce Wayne’s Mum hang over his bed?
A bat mobile!
What do you call it when a mass of white wool snores on a field?
A sleep.
What do you do when your pet poodle snores too much?
You get a CPUP machine.
What do you call a rock band whose members are in deep sleep?
Snore Patrol.
What do scuba divers wear when they go to sleep?
A snore-kel.
What do you call a person who snores a lot?
A sound sleeper.
What do you call a dessert made of Graham crackers, marshmallow, and chocolate?
S’nores.
Funny Sleep Jokes
Instead of purchasing space-consuming humidifiers, funny sleep jokes can help you sleep peacefully. For example, why did the band’s guitarist collapse on stage? He slept by rocking himself to sleep.
Why did the man eat yeast and shoe polish before he went to bed?
So he could rise and shine!
What do butterflies sleep on?
Caterpillows!
What do you call a sleeping T-rex?
A dino-snore!
Why did the girl run around her bed?
She wanted to catch up on her sleep!
Where do fish sleep?
On the sea bed!
Last night, I kept dreaming that I had written Lord of the Rings.
My wife said I’d been Tolkien in my sleep.
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in last night.
My dreams have never been clearer.
I have a condition that makes me eat when I can’t sleep.
It’s called insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-nia.
I was offered a job at a mattress factory.
I asked them if I could sleep on it.
When you dream in color, is it a pigment of your imagination?
I went to a gig last night and the band’s guitarist passed out on stage.
What do you call the medical condition where your feet go to sleep?
Coma-toes.
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket.
My daughter couldn’t get to sleep last night so I repeatedly said “Bursary” until she nodded off.
It was the only nursery rhyme I could think of.
I went to bed with my music playing last night.
I had a sound sleep.
Is your iPad making you fall asleep?
There’s a nap for that.
Do you ever get tired of sleeping?
My friend asked me if they could borrow some sleeping pills.
I said “Sure, knock yourself out.”
Learning to sleep upside down is often hard for baby bats.
But they soon get the hang of it.
The male pig puts everyone to sleep.
You could say he’s quite the boar.
My girlfriend asked why I put a watch on the bed before going to sleep.
I told her I wanted to wake up on time
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ catholic.
I got paid for being part of a study at the sleep clinic.
It was my dream job.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
There was a kidnapping at school yesterday.
It’s okay though, he woke up.
My cat sleeps on a down pillow.
I’ve always had a soft spot for her.
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillowcases?
They’re really making headlines.
What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?
He goes under cover.
I finally got eight hours of sleep.
It took me three days, but whatever.
Why did mom always tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.
What did the mommy broom say to the baby broom?
It’s time to go to sweep.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on.
Not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?
Snoozin’ B. Anthony!
I’m so tired, my tired is tired.
Hilarious Sleep Jokes
Toddlers can stand to gain from hilarious sleep jokes to keep forcing them to go to bed early as possible. For example, which art supply will exhaust you? A cra- yawn.
Do you think Jeff Bezos sleeps naked?
Or with pajamazon?
Why do keyboards never sleep?
Because they have two shifts.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly how much sleep a human needs.
“Just five minutes more.”
I couldn’t figure out why I haven’t been sleeping all night.
And then it dawned on me.
What do you call making up for lost sleep?
Melatonement.
What does the gingerbread man sleep on?
Cookie sheets.
The urge to sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Knock Knock Sleep Jokes
Sleeping after a few knock knock sleep jokes can result in a happy awakening. For example, knock, knock. Is anyone there? Bed. Who’s going to bed? You haven’t guessed who I am, that’s bed?
Knock, knock!
Who is it?
Lee.
Lee who?
Lee me alone I’m tired!
Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Pasta.
Pasta who?
Pasta bedtime.
Knock! Knock!
Who knocks?
Hugo.
Hugo who?
Hugo to bed right now!
Knock! Knock!
Who is it?
Alison.
Alison who?
Alison to you snore every night.
Knock, knock!
Who is there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for bed.
Knock, knock!
Who is it?
Godfrey.
Godfrey who?
Godfrey mattress with the bed I bought.
Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon who?
Armageddon a little tired. Let’s get some sleep.
Knock, knock!
Who is it?
Earl.
Earl who?
Earl be glad to go to bed.
Knock! Knock!
Who is outside?
Egg.
Egg who?
Eggstremely tired and sleepy.
Knock! Knock!
Who is there?
Bean.
Bean who?
Bean a while since I got a good night’s sleep.
Sleep Jokes One Liners
When you’re on the verge of opening your eyes, sleep jokes one-liners are a much better idea. For example, this man’s wife went to the airport to find a quieter place for his snoring.
I fell asleep beside the kitchen sink with the plug out. I feel completely drained now.
I dreamt I wrote The Hobbit the other night. I think I was Tolkein in my sleep.
Why do dragons often sleep during the day? So they can fight knights.
I sleep in a tower once every two weeks. It’s my fort night.
Don’t think I could cope with a job as a coffee taster. How do they sleep at night?
Fell asleep on my smartphone the other day. I had downloaded a nap.
A friend gave up his job as a shepherd as every time he tried to count his flock, he fell asleep.
Couldn’t sleep, so went to a counsellor for advice. He said, “sleep on the edge of the bed, you’ll soon drop off”.
Taller people sleep longer in bed.
How do you know when it is time for cows to go to sleep? When it’s pasture bedtime.
I know someone who was habitually late, until his doctor recommended sleeping in a herb garden. Sounds odd, I know, but now he wakes up on Thyme.
If you like these sleep jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
Good Sleep Jokes
There should be a saying that good sleep jokes equal good sleep. For example, in this case, why do people lose interest in Facebook? Because everyone is just so meme.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldoze.
What dinosaur makes most noise when he is a sleep?
Tyrannosnorus.
How does James Bond like to sleep?
Under covers.
My wife thought it would be fun if we each have a list of 3 people that would be OK to sleep with if given the chance.
**Her list:** Paul Rudd, Adam Levine, and Channing Tatum.
**My list:** Her best friend Stephanie, that barista at our coffee shop, and my ex girlfriend.
My colleagues call me “The Computer”.
Nothing to do with my intelligence. I just go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
Mary had a little sheep, and with that sheep, she did sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram. Mary had a little lamb.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and be glad that you’re alive?
Apparently, I did and won’t be allowed on Hawaiian Airlines again…
My girlfriend wasn’t sure if she liked her new hairstyle.
I told her to sleep on it.
Genuinely happened today. Was pretty proud of myself.
What’s Amber Heard’s Sleep Number?
Number 2.
A slice of bread stole a lot of money from the sandwich Mafia
so they set his house on fire as he was sleeping.
He’s toast now.
My wife has been sleeping around with other men. Our church pastor is coming over tonight to offer advice. My wife is baking cookies but I’m embarrassed because the cookies are…
Ho-made
The pastor asked a little girl why one should remain quiet in church.
The little girl replied ‘because everyone is sleeping.’
My wife put her hand on my leg, winked at me, and told me to spice things up we should try some role-reversal in the bedroom tonight. I thought it was a great idea.
So I told her I had a headache, turned off the light, rolled over and went right to sleep.
What’s the difference between light and hard?
A man can sleep with a light on.
My wife gave out to me this morning, because our fridge was full of stir fry.
Oh god I must have being sleep wokking again.
What’s the best thing about sleeping with a geologist?
The ore-gasms.
Man to woman: “So, tell me, how many guys have you slept with?
Woman : “I only slept with you. With all the others, I wasn’t sleeping.”
Whenever I tell someone I sleep like a baby they always seem pleased.
I should probably find a different metaphor for waking up at 3 AM screaming and covered in my own urine.
Bedtime and Sleep Jokes for Adults
Bedtime jokes for adults can get heated when two people try to make love. What, for example, does Sean Connery reading you a bedtime story have in common with a gastroenterologist? “Are you shitting easily?”
You know you’re getting older when happy hour is a nap.
I’m so tired, and my tired is tired.
To bears, people in sleeping bags are soft tacos.
If you notice cows sleeping in a field, does that mean it’s pasture bedtime?
Woke up the other day with a puzzled look on my face.
I had fallen asleep on my crossword.
I went to buy a new mattress the other day.
I wasn’t sure about it, so the salesman told me to go away and sleep on it.
I fitted an alarm clock to my shoe.
It stops my foot from falling asleep.
I fell asleep beside the kitchen sink with the plug out.
I feel entirely drained now.
There was a kidnapping at school today.
It’s okay, though. He woke up.
My little cousin showed off that he sleeps in a race car bed.
Jokes on him, I sleep in a real car.
A sumo wrestler once visited and slept on my couch for a month.
It left a negative impression.
Why do clowns wear loud socks?
To stop their feet from falling asleep.
Where does the prince sleep if there is a king and queen-size mattress?
On the heir mattress.
Sleep Jokes for Kids
It is trusted that assuming kids hit the sack cheerful is an indication of a sound psyche. How might you let me know if somebody is resting soundly? You can see they’re cutting when you hear them. An example of sleep jokes for kids.
Why do worms hate getting up in the morning?
Because the early bird catches the worm!
Which part of the car is the sleepiest?
The wheels, because they’re always tired!
What should you do if you find a dinosaur sleeping in your bed?
Find somewhere else to sleep!
Why did the little girl take her bike to bed?
Because she didn’t want to walk in her sleep!
Which animal sleeps with its shoes on?
A horse!
Why did the little boy hide sugar under his pillow at night?
So he would have sweet dreams!
Why did the little boy take a ruler to bed with him?
To see how long he slept!
What does a Mummy cow read to a baby cow before bed?
Dairy tales!
Where do burgers sleep?
On a bed of lettuce!
What’s another word for a sleeping bag?
A nap-sack!
Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday?
It’s OK though, he woke up!
I got paid for being part of a study at a sleep clinic last night… it was my dream job!
Did you hear about the lady who always goes to sleep on a chandelier?
She’s a light sleeper!
“Doctor, I can’t get to sleep at night.”
“Lie on the edge of the bed – you’ll soon drop off!”
Did you hear about the girl who was dreaming that she was eating a giant marshmallow?
She woke up and her pillow was gone!
“Doctor, how can I stop my sleepwalking?”
“Easy, just put drawing pins on the bedroom floor.”
Did you hear about the boy who slept with his head underneath his pillow?
When he woke up, the tooth fairy had taken all his teeth!
Did you hear about the man who kept hearing a mouse squeaking at night?
He got up and tried to oil it!
Did you hear about the parents who called their baby ‘coffee?’
It kept them up all night!
Did you hear about the little girl who was sent to prison for not going to sleep last night?
She was charged with resisting arrest!
I was offered a day job at a mattress factory, but I told them I had to sleep on it!
Sleep Jokes about Insomnia
Have you ever made a joke out of something unusual? Yes, insomnia is the answer. “For sincere advice and the correct time, call any number at random at 3.00 a.m.” is one of the insomnia jokes.
Insomnia is awful. But on the plus side…
…only three more sleeps till Christmas.
I found a cure for my wife’s insomnia…
All I have to do is express a desire to have sex with her and immediately she is too tired to do anything but sleep.
The doctor told me I have either amnesia or insomnia
I can’t remember which one and it’s making me lose sleep!
I have been trying to understand why my candle has such bad insomnia…
…guess there is no rest for the wicked.
I have insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find a cure.
Doctor can you cure my insomnia?
“Of course, we just have to get rid of the root cause!”
“Won’t be easy, the wife’s grown quite fond of that fucking baby.”
Police say a Maryland man stole $369 worth of erectile dysfunction and insomnia meds from a pharmacy
Apparently he wanted to stay up but not stay up.
I stopped complaining about my insomnia, when I found out most of my relatives died in their sleep.
People keep telling me I’m unlucky to have Insomnia but the jokes on them…
only 2 more sleeps till Christmas!
How does the dyslexic agnostic with insomnia spend his time?
Staying up all night wondering if there is a dog
What do accountants’ spouses say to fall asleep when they have insomnia?
“Sweetie, tell me about your job.”
What do you call a vampire with insomnia?
Dust.
My chronic diarrhea is giving me insomnia
I’m getting real tired of this shit.
I once had a nightmare about insomnia.
Haven’t slept since.
The Bad News is that I suffer chronic insomnia
But the Good News – just two more sleeps ’til Christmas.
I had to break up with my girlfriend who suffered from insomnia
She just wasn’t very into-resting.
My horse has insomnia and keeps every one awake.
She’s a nightmare.
Final Thoughts on Sleep Jokes
We’ve skillfully crafted a large number of amusing family-friendly sleep jokes for everyone to enjoy! To avoid embarrassment and shame in front of your high schooler children, refrain from making any adult rest jokes.
To sleep peacefully, imagine reading a couple of funny sleep jokes before going to bed. Isn’t it enjoyable? Let’s be honest: who would prefer not to sleep well.
Following a routine day at work, we all need to unwind and allow the psychological pain to leave our bodies. Obviously, children about sleep time! Our collection of rest jokes will have you laughing before you go to bed!
Never, ever say no to the sources of laughter, especially when they are free. We all have the right to sleep peacefully and have wonderful dreams. Sometimes, moms also need these jokes in order to relax.
The preceding sentence explains why sleep jokes are important for both children and young adults.
