150 Hilarious Running Jokes to Keep You Laughing
To make you refreshing and energetic, running jokes can be the best antidote.
In today’s hectic and monotonous routine, everybody is busy with their routine affairs—still, they do different activities to maintain their physic in different ways.
Some people join gyms to do various exercises. Some people prefer morning walks and jogging. Weight lifting is also the best activity to burn calories. Briefly, different people adopt different strategies.
Running is considered one of the best activities to lose weight. You can burn your maximum extra calories within a short period. When you are busy running with your friends, running jokes are the best thing to kill time.
We compiled a list of jokes about running for our lovely and lively readers. Enjoy with your friends and family with these jokes while maintaining your figure.
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Table of Contents
Best Running Jokes
People love to hear jokes at any time especially when they are busy in any physical activity. So don’t be bored while running. When you are running with your love ones, share these best running jokes with them.
Why are Scandinavians considered to be the best runners across the globe?
Because they start near the Finnish line.
Why was the runner in the marathon stopped and taken to jail?
He was resisting a rest.
What did a runner’s wife give him when he came home all sweaty?
She gave him the stink eye.
Why should you avoid having a runner as a potential juror?
Because then, you’ll have a runaway jury.
What do you call a prank pulled by a coach on his track runner?
A running gag.
What is the one thing that track coaches and dentists have in common?
They both use drills.
Why did the podiatrist make his patients wait a long time before calling them?
Because time is supposed to heel all wounds.
If you cut Usain Bolt, what does that make you?
A bolt cutter.
Which type of race is never run?
A swimming race.
Do you know who invented running marathons?
The human race.
What happens to a person if they run in front of a car?
They become tire-d.
What happens to a person if they run behind a car?
They get exhaust-ed.
Did you hear what happened at the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was always ahead, and the tomato was playing ketch-up.
How did the barber come first in the race?
He took a shortcut.
What do you call a runner who keeps choking on water puns while running a marathon?
A bad case of running gags.
Why were pets not allowed to compete in the marathon?
Because they are not part of the human race.
Funny Running Jokes
Funny running jokes are trendy these days. People love to amuse themselves while running. To keep it in mind, we made a list of top-rated and quality funny running jokes for you.
Run like there’s a hot guy in front of you and a creepy one behind you.
I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training.
Slow runners make fast runners look good.
Thank you.
If found on ground, please drag to finish line.
Running makes me feel less like I want to kill people.
Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television.
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Running a marathon takes balls, other sports just play with them.
Long-distance running is 90% mental and the other half is physical.
Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.
It’s rude to count people as you pass them.
Out loud.
Run.
Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Runner’s logic: I’m tired.
Let me go for a run.
I run because punching people is frowned upon.
I’ve got 99 problems but I’m going running to ignore them all for an hour.
Hilarious Running Jokes
When you burn your calories, your mood automatically becomes good. As you reach your goals, you feel extreme pleasure. To make your happiness double, here is a list of hilarious running jokes.
We’re always making fun of our friend who threw up during a marathon.
It’s a running gag.
Seriously, do not mess with a marathoner.
They run the streets.
I’m going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson.
I’m not sure which race yet.
Did you hear about the Мexican guy who ran that marathon?
He juan.
I‘ve decided to run a marathon for charity.
I didn’t want to do it at first, but apparently it’s for blind and disabled kids so I think I’ve got a good chance of winning.
Why did the marathon runner end up in jail?
For resisting a rest.
I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon.
It was a running joke.
My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon,
but he wasn’t given the gold medal.
The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
Is it really that wrong to hate an entire race?
I just find marathons waaaaay too long to enjoy any part of them.
Training for a marathon can be hard work…
But it’ll be good for you in the long run.
I’d hate to run a marathon.
They just look so hard to organise.
Me, to the cop: You can’t arrest me. I have a marathon to run today!
Cop: Stop playing the race card!
I guess my nose is training for a marathon.
It’s been running since morning.
I’m like a cross between a marathon runner and a sprinter.
I can jog short distances.
I’m binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons.
Guess it’s some sort of running joke.
Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot.
Do you think his opponents tasted defeat?
How do you know if someone runs marathons?
Don’t worry, they’ll freakin’ tell you!
Shot Running Jokes
When you are exhausted, it becomes challenging to pronounce lengthy sentences. Therefore, short running jokes are the best statements for fun and enjoyment. We bet you won’t stop laughing and sharing these jokes.
Please ignore the faces I make while running.
I didn’t train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can.
I may run at the speed of turtles swimming through peanut butter.
But I run.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you’re marathon training.
Run?
I thought they said rum!
I love to run because I love to eat.
I’m only doing this so I can post about it on Facebook.
To be healthy you need to eat right, go for a run, and post about it on Facebook.
Is your name Charity?
Because my heart is racing for you!
I’m introverted, but willing to discuss running.
I’ve got 99 problems, so I went on a run to ignore them all.
Step one to running a marathon:
You run.
There is no step two.
After an hour on the treadmill…
What year is it?
I like my morning run more than I like most people.
Do you think I’m crazy if I run?
You’d SEE crazy if I didn’t run!
Running Jokes One Liners
In this busy routine, people don’t have enough time to exchange lengthy dialogues. Brief statements create more fun. So here is the latest and updated collection of running jokes one liners.
At the intercontinental sports meet,
the most self-proclaimed sprinters came from the country of Iran.
I wanted to tell you one of my running jokes,
but it somehow ran away.
It has been a long-standing tradition in our family to participate in a marathon every year;
I guess it runs in our genes.
The married couple always ran marathons together because they were the running mates.
The running shoes would last for two years- that was the gua-ran-tee!
One should never train for sprints.
That way, athletes would only win in the short run.
Sprinter and time are not the best of friends because sprinters always race against time.
The runner with a terrible cough and cold beat the others in the race because the cold made him feel extra runny.
I recently completed a running cross country marathon in the middle-east as Iran to Iraq.
My father would never give money to charities organizing marathons because,
according to him, they would always take your money and run.
Two cowardly sprinters got into a fight after the marathon.
I heard it was a hit and run.
The army tank was moving surprisingly fast.
This was because the driver was wearing a racerback tank.
I don’t particularly appreciate running marathons because it gives me the runs.
Long-distance runners usually are good students because their education pays off in the long run.
Even though I got some running shoes to get fit,
I am so out of shape that I can’t even keep up with them.
Long Running Jokes
Runners spend a lot of time running with friends and family members. So they want to have long running jokes and enjoy the precious moments with their near and dear ones.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath.
What should slow runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
How do you gain one second on the person you’re racing?
Tell them their shoelaces are untied.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was a head but the tomato was trying to ketchup.
If 5 monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?
Five after one.
What might you get if you run in front of a car?
Tired.
What’s another name for a free treadmill?
Outside.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted.
Why shouldn’t you let a jogger be a juror?
Because you’ll end up with a runaway jury.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s harder to run in triangles!
Dirty Running Jokes
Some people like dirty sort of humor. For such people, we gathered the smart dirty running jokes. Please look at these jokes and share them with the people of your temperament.
Get honked at more when running than driving, runner problems.
What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone without dressing.
The only time it’s okay for a man with a gun to tell you to take your pants off.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
”Because I put on the wrong sock this morning”
When I ask a nonrunner friend if they want to run with me.
Why is Cinderella so bad at playing football?
She runs away from the ball.
If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes, we are racing.
If you’re on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes, we are racing.
If you see me collapse, pause my watch.
Whenever I go running I meet new people…
like parademics.
Running Jokes for Runners
There are multiple running jokes for ordinary people. However, it is hard to get quality jokes for runners. Still, we compiled the list of the latest runner jokes for your interest.
Why did the trainer make the runner workout in the sun?
He wants him to feel the burn.
Why was the skinny woman jogging backward?
Because she wanted to gain weight.
Which way do crazy runners go if they get lost?
They take the psycho-path.
Why do runners refuse to take a nap during a race?
Because if you snooze, you lose.
Why do birds go running early in the morning?
Early bird gets the worm.
What do athletes eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast.
What do athletes lose after they win a huge race?
Their breath.
What does a runner in the last place drink to help them?
Ketch-up.
What do runners do as a brain workout?
They jog their memory.
If you refuse to go running one day, what type of training are you doing?
Resistance training.
What do you call a couple that runs a marathon without leaving each other’s side?
Running mates.
Why do joggers not get bummed out after a breakup?
Because they had a good run.
Why did the track runner not get out of bed?
He was fast asleep.
Running Jokes for Kids
Kids love to hear jokes. They happily share running tricks with their friends and fellows as they love the company of their comrades, the best thing to enjoy. Here is a list of running jokes for kids.
All the marathon runners were disappointed that the race had been canceled- another run bites the dust.
Running late in the morning no frost on the windshield.
Well, I never claimed to be Logical.
We don’t need a reason.
We need a road.
I am the cold shiver running down your spine.
If it’s too cold for a run you’re obviously not a runner.
The baseball batter practices at his home treadmill whenever he gets the time because he loves his home runs.
Dogs and cats are not allowed to run a marathon because they are not part of the human race.
There was this guy in the neighborhood who would never stop running.
He was known around these parts as the jogger-naut.
The favorite subject of a marathon runner in high school is jog-raphy.
Why did the runner need a loan?
Oxygen Debt.
Where do crazy sprinters like to run?
On the psycho path.
What was the runner’s favorite school subject?
Jog-raphy.
Running Jokes and Memes
Memes are getting viral day by day. People create different sorts of running jokes and memes. So we searched out an enormous amount of such jokes for your enjoyment and amusement. Please have a look!
How do you gain twenty seconds on the person you’re racing?
Tie their shoelaces together.
Why did the Scandinavians win the relay race?
They started near the Finnish line…
Which mobile phone carrier do track stars use?
Sprint.
Why was the sprinter never allowed to season the soup?
Too many dashes.
Which city has the most relay racers?
Baton Rouge.
Why can’t you hear runners when they’re training?
They wear sneakers…
Which track event was Thor the champion?
Hammer throw.
How did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut.
Where do you find the chattiest track athletes?
At discus.
Which track event it caffeinated?
Java-lin.
How do you gain ten seconds on the person you’re racing?
Untie their shoelaces.
What do you call treadmill free?
The road…
What did the runner drink when she was in last place?
Ketchup.
Why did the pig lose at the track meet?
He pulled a HAM string.
What do runners put on their nachos?
PACE picante sauce.
How did the cabbage do at the track invitational?
It was a head the whole time…
How do runners see at night?
With electrolytes.
Final Thoughts on Running Jokes
Let’s put the whole discussion into a nutshell. Now you have read out various types of running jokes, including funny running jokes, dirty running jokes, running jokes and memes, etc.
Everybody has different interests and choices of jokes according to their nature and temperament. So this blog post is good enough to fulfill the needs and desires of all, including men, women, and kids.
We guarantee you and your family members can not stop laughing and sharing running jokes.
Do not forget to tell us which of the categories you enjoyed the most. If you have other jokes about running in your mind, drop them in the comment column to let us enjoy too.
Have calories burning while running, and enjoy our running jokes! Enjoy our collection of jokes with your close ones while maintaining your figure!
