161 Hilarious Poop Jokes to Get You Laughing Your Ass Off

As comedy academics, we can’t help but be fascinated by the place where humor and freedom meet: the restroom.

From ancient Greek philosophers who pondered the nature of laughing to recent scientific research at the prestigious University of Hilarity, there is widespread agreement that poop jokes have the unique ability to cause spontaneous, uncontrollable laughter.

We’ve searched the vaults of comedy greats and dug through stacks of books to compile a set of poop jokes that are guaranteed to have you in fits of laughter.

Let’s begin!

Best Poop Jokes

Get ready to experience the pinnacle of poop-related hilarity with our handpicked selection of the absolute best poop jokes that will have you laughing uncontrollably.

Wanna hear a poop joke?
Nah, they always stink.

What did one piece of toilet paper say to another?
“I’m feeling really wiped.”

What do women and toilet paper have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.

What did one toilet say to the other?
“You look flushed.”

Why did the man bring toilet paper to the party?
He’s a party pooper.

Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.

Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes?
Everyone told her that they stink.

Why does Piglet always smell bad?
Because he plays with Pooh.

Where do bees go to the bathroom?
The BP station.

Why can’t you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the “p” is silent.

Why don’t people take their phones into the bathroom?
They don’t want to give away their IP address.

Did you hear about the constipated composer?
He had problems with his last movement.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite jokes.
But they’re a solid #2.

How do you get the bathroom unlocked in a hurry?
With a doo-key.

If pooping is a call of nature.
Then is farting a missed call?

My love for you is like diarrhea.
I can’t hold it in.

Why don’t girls poop?
They can’t keep their mouths shut long enough to build pressure!

Funny Poop Jokes

Get geared up for a hilarious journey as we provide a trove of hilarious poop jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud.

What is a magical poop called?
Poodini.

What is a bathroom fairy called?
Stinker bell.

What does a clown’s fart smell like?
They smell funny.

What is an example of a toilet palindrome?
Poop.

What type of diarrhea is hereditary?
The one that runs in your jeans.

Why do cops sit in toilets?
To do their duty.

Why is there a toilet near the garbage heap?
Everybody needs to take a dump.

What did the patient say when he got admitted to the hospital for pooping too much?
I don’t want to die-rrhoea.

How can you make a dung house smell fresh?
You make a Poopourri!

What do VFX experts call bowel movements?
3D Farts.

Why is love like diarrhea?
You can never hold it in.

What do dung beetles love eating while watching a stinky movie?
Poopcorn.

How would you define a fart?
It is a lone cry from a turd that is abandoned.

What did Spock come across in the toilet of the Enterprise?
The Log of the Captain.

Why do people take naps in the toilet?
It is the rest room.

If pooping is the call of nature, what is farting?
A missed call.

Why was the diarrhea hotline operator fired?
He asked the caller to hold.

Hilarious Poop Jokes

Laughter is about to erupt from your belly as you read this collection of poop jokes that are so funny you will be rolling on the floor.

How do you get into a locked bathroom if you really need to go poop?
Use a doo-key.

Poop jokes aren’t my favorite.
But they’re a solid number two.

Why don’t people like poop jokes?
They stink.

Did you hear about the movie about constipation?
It never came out.

When’s the best time to go to the bathroom?
Poo-thirty.

Why was the poop sad?
It got dumped.

Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your genes.

How does a clown’s poop smell?
Funny.

Why did the toilet paper stop rolling?
It got stuck in a crack.

Why did the baker’s hands turn brown?
They kneaded poop.

Do you know about constipated accountants?
They can’t budget.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.

Did you hear about the constipated math teacher?
They worked it out with a pencil.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.

Why did they release the movie about diarrhea early?
It was leaked.

Knock Knock Poop Jokes

Discover the hysterical world of knock-knock jokes about excrement, which will have you giggling at every step.

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Smell mop. Smell mop who?
No, I won’t smell your poo!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
I eep. I eep who?
Gross, you eat poo?!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Poop. Poop who?
Hahaha, you said poo twice!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
I did up. I did up who?
Eww. You did a poo?

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Luke. Luke who?
Luke out, I’m about to fart!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
I’m a pile of. I’m a pile of who?
No, you’re not!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Stinky. Stinky who?
Yeah, your poo does stink.

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
I smell like. I smell like who?
No, you smell fine.

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Frayed. Frayed who?
Frayed I’m not going to make it to the bathroom, I gotta poo!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Poop. Poop who?
Haha, you just said poo-poo!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
School. School who?
School your ass.

Knock, Knock!
Who is it?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, I am not a poo! You are!

Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
I eat mop!
I eat mop who?
What? You ate your poo?

Baby Poop Jokes

Babies may be small, but their poop jokes pack a big punch! Brace yourself for a giggle-filled journey through the world of adorable and amusing baby poop jokes.

What is something you never appreciate until it’s gone?
Toilet paper.

When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called?
Dereliction of doodie.

Why did the baker’s hands stink?
He kneaded a poo.

Why did the toilet seat cry?
She got dumped.

Why are there no bathrooms in some banks?
Because not all banks accept deposits.

Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary.
It runs in your jeans.

Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.

What’s the best snack for watching a movie that sucks?
Poop-corn!

Children are like farts.
Your own are just about bearable, but everyone else’s are horrendous.

Is diarrhea genetic?
No, but it does run in your jeans.

What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes?
Stop making me laugh or I’ll puma pants!

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?
He just couldn’t budget.

Did you hear about the sequel, Diarrhea?
It leaked so they had to release it early.

What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls?
Dung-arees.

Clean Poop Jokes

Join us on a comedy voyage that maintains utmost cleanliness as we present a collection of squeaky-clean poop jokes that will bring you laughter without any mess.

What do poop-shaped doorbells sound like?
Ding dung.

What did one fly say to the other?
Is this stool taken?

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.

Why can’t you trust people that are constipated?
They’re full of crap.

What did the toilet paper say after being flushed?
I feel really wiped.

What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampooed.

What’s the best day to poop?
Turd-ay.

What’s another name for cow poop?
Moo-nure.

What does one butt cheek say to the other?
Between you and me, something stinks.

Which animal is known for its poop?
Turd-les.

How does your day go when you have diarrhea?
Crappy.

Why didn’t the soldier flush the toilet?
It wasn’t their duty.

What did the big cat say after the other wouldn’t stop telling jokes?
Stop making me laugh. I’m going to puma pants.

Did you poop?
I dung know.

What’s big, brown, and behind the wall?
Humpty’s dump.

What happens when the captain of a ship goes poop?
They leave the captain’s log.

What happens when you eat too much alphabet soup?
You get the biggest vowel movement ever.

What do you call a planet that poops?
Uranus.

What happens to a weasel with diarrhea?
Poop goes the weasel.

Dirty Poop Jokes

You have been warned that you are about to enter the territory of naughty humor as we present a compilation of fabulously disgusting poop jokes that will make you flush your sense of decency.

What did the asshole say to the ballsack?
I feel wiped out.

I don’t understand rich people—who would want to sleep in a can o’pee?

Love is like farting—if you force it, it’ll be shit.

I got a call from Rocky Mountain Candy Company. Making fudge is an actual job?

What does my wife have in common with a toilet?
She takes a lot of shit.

I farted so my co-worker opened a window—it must’ve been pretty bad, we work on a submarine.

What happens when a prince farts?
It’s a noble gas.

What did the man say to his colon?
You’re always giving me shit!”

Did you know they made a movie called “Constipation”— Shame, it never came out

What did they say when a sanitation worker was killed in a work accident?
He died doing his duty.

What does Costco have in common with anal sex?
Lots of shit.

What do I have in common with a jellyfish burn?
We both like to get peed on.

What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
I wouldn’t let a garbanzo bean on my face.

Poop Jokes for Adults

For those who enjoy a good chuckle with a hint of naughtiness, we present a collection of poop jokes that will leave you feeling like a true connoisseur of comedy.

Why do people hate poop jokes?
Because they kinda stink.

Why do toilet papers roll down hills?
They need to go to the bottom.

What do sad toilet papers say to their friend?
I feel so wiped.

Do you know about the little boy who had diarrhea and was late for school?
He was running behind a little.

Why was the comedian with diarrhea rushing to say his jokes?
He couldn’t hold it in.

Why did Tigger put his head inside the toilet bowl?
He was looking for Pooh!

What did one toilet bowl say to the other toilet bowl?
You are looking flushed.

Why did the woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party?
She was a party pooper.

Why do swans have so many feathers?
They cover up their butt quacks.

What did the conditioner bottle do to the toilet seat?
He shampooed it.

In German, how does one say “fart”?
Farfrompoopin.

Why does Piglet stink?
Because he always plays with Pooh.

What is the favorite dance move of a poop?
Poopin’ and locking.

What is an example of a surprise?
A fart with a lump.

Which time is the most appropriate to poop?
Poo-thirty.

What are surfers greatly afraid of?
Sharts.

What is a superhero in a restroom called?
Flush Gordon.

Where do Nomads poop?
In Neander stalls.

What did the employee at the fast-food joint say to the toilet?
Your order is number two.

Which poop movie in a trilogy is the worst of all?
The turd one.

Why did they fire the constipated composer?
He was facing problems with his last movement.

Poop Jokes for Kids

Calling all young jesters! Step into the world of delightful silliness with our kid-friendly poop jokes that will have children of all ages giggling and grinning from ear to ear.

What did the poop say to the fart?
“You blow me away.”

What did the prune say to his employees?
“Let’s make this sh*t happen.”

Why do doctors say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea?
Because one guy likes it.

Why did the prankster put poo in the elevator?
Because he wanted to take his pranks to the next level.

What’s the similarity between poop and talent?
Both will come out when it’s time for them to come out.

What type of poop jokes should you never crack?
The corny ones.

What is a vegetarian suffering from diarrhea called?
A salad shooter.

What’s the German word for constipation?
Farfrompoopen.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.

What do flies politely say to the other?
“Is this stool taken?”

When does Denzel Washington usually need to hang out with the Rugrats?
On potty training day.

What are kings’ farts called?
A noble gas.

Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.

Why did everyone surround the poop?
It was poop-ular.

What do you call someone searching for a toilet?
In poo-suit.

Poop Jokes and Puns

Get equipped to dive into a hilarious world of potty humor as we present a collection of witty poop jokes and puns that will have you admiring the craft of comedy.

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday.
Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.

The toilet was going to buy a new shampoo-p and conditioner today.

Have you seen that new movie Constipated?
It’s not come out yet.

The bee stopped in the middle of the road and searched for a BP station because it had to pee.

The toilet paper wanted to get to the bottom of the mountain, so he rolled.

I cannot hear anyone peeing inside the toilet. Maybe there’s a psychiatrist inside.

The toilet paper drank so much last night that he feels wiped now.

Did you know that when you say the word “poop”, your mouth does the same motion as your bum hole?
The same is true for the phrase, “explosive diarrhoea”.

The toilet paper was frustrated because he had to deal with a lot of crap today.

The lady needs to throw her poop puns in the sink because honestly, they just stink.

I asked the tiger,” What’s the matter?
Why do you look so flushed today?’

I always invite toilet paper to my parties because he is such a party pooper!

The ducks cleaned their butt quacks with toilet paper.

You never really appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone.
Toilet paper is a good example.

Winnie the Pooh left the toilet because it was filled with pooh-p.