151 Hilarious Pig Jokes to Make You Snort
Jokes are always a source of freshness and energy for the people; the same goes for pig jokes.
Many people love these animals, and they like to discuss them in their jokes.
Can you believe these carnivorous are considered among the top five genius animals? They are more intelligent than dogs even.
This is a cute creature. Even female pigs sing songs to comfort their kids. Therefore, pig jokes are becoming trendy day by day.
We are going to share multiple jokes about pigs with you. Do not forget to share these jokes with your near and dear ones to let them enjoy them too.
We bet you won’t stop laughing and forwarding these jokes to your social circle using different apps.
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Table of Contents
Best Pig Jokes
The net is full of pig jokes. People love to hear jokes about pigs. However, we collected a list of up-to-date best pig jokes. We are sure you can’t stop smiling while reading, listening, and sharing these jokes.
What do you call a pig with a poorly throat?
Disgruntled.
What’s a pig’s favorite karate move?
The pork chop!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur and a pig?
Jurassic pork!
What happened when the pigpen broke?
The pigs had to use a pencil!
Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road?
Because he was a slow-pork!
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why should you never ever tell a pig a secret?
Because they love to squeal out loud!
How do MI5 pigs write top-secret messages to one another?
Through invisible oink!
What happens when you play Tug-of-War with a pig?
Pulled-Pork!
What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?
A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty!
What do you call a pig that drives around recklessly?
A road hog.
Funny Pig Jokes
Life has become too serious and boring. So to get rid of all your boredom, funny pig jokes are the best remedy. Enjoy our collection of pig jokes with your near and dear ones.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
Bacon and legs!
What do pigs call the washing machine?
The hogwash.
What do you call a pig that’s not fun to be around?
A boar.
What do you call a fashionable pig?
Calvin Swine.
Which Star Wars character was really a pig?
Ham Solo.
Why are books about pigs so interesting?
There’s always a twist in the tale!
How do pigs talk to each other?
Swine language.
What do you call an angry pig?
Disgruntled.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
What was the pig doing in the kitchen?
Bacon!
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
One little pig walked into a restaurant one day and asked the waiter for a glass of lemonade, then he asked where the toilet was the waiter said, ‘Down the hall to the left then straight ahead. Then another pig walked into the restaurant and asked the waiter for a glass of lemonade, when he asked where the bathroom was, again the waiter said, ‘Down the hall to the left then straight ahead.’ Another pig walked into the bar and asked for a glass of lemonade and then the waiter said, ‘Don’t you want to know where the toilet is too’.
He said, ‘No, I’m the little pig that went wee wee wee all the way home!’
The religious cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was out on the range one day. Three weeks later, a pig walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy was flabbergasted. He took the precious bible out of the pig’s mouth, raised his eyebrows, and said, ‘It’s a miracle!’
‘Is it?’ said the pig. ‘But, your name is written inside the cover…!’
In the cold of winter, a man says to his girlfriend: ‘Should we bring the pig inside, it’s so cold out there.’ ‘But it stinks!’, says the girlfriend.
The man replies: ‘He will get used to it!’
While driving in the city, a policeman stops a woman in a car with a pig in the front seat. “Um, what are you doing with that pig?’ He says, ‘You should take it to the zoo.’ ‘OK officer, will do’, exclaims the woman and she smiles! The next week, the same policeman sees the same woman with a pig again in her front seat, but both of them wearing sunglasses, the policeman thinks she’s trying to disguise herself! ‘I thought you were going to take that pig to the zoo!’ he says.
The woman replied, ‘I did. We had a great time! Now we are going to the beach this weekend!’
Hilarious Pig Jokes
These pig jokes are prominent among all other pig jokes. Check out these hilarious pig jokes about refreshing the mood of your spouse. Minimize the distances among yourselves with these jokes.
Why did the pig put a blanket on the ground?
To have a pig-nic.
What was the pig’s favorite book?
Hamlet.
What do pig sailors yell when they stop their ships?
Oinkers Aweight.
What do pigs do on pleasant days?
They go on pignics.
What do you call a fake pig story?
A lot of hogwash.
Who is the greatest pig painter?
Pigcasso.
Which sport was invented by pigs?
Mud wrestling.
Why did the pig get arrested?
He was a pigpocket.
What brand do trendy pigs wear?
Calvin Swine.
Is it true that pigs bathe twice a day?
No, that story is just a load of hogwash.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Pork chop!
What do you call a pig that gets fired from his job?
Canned ham!
What do you get when you cross a dalmatian and a pig?
Spotted bacon.
What is a pig’s favorite color?
MaHOGany.
What do you get when you cross a fat pig and a squash?
A plump-kin!
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a tortoise?
You get a very slow-pork.
Three spotty pigs lying on the ground sleeping next to each other.
Where do flying pigs go?
Hogwarts.
How do you stop a warthog from charging?
Remove his credit card!
What would happen if pigs could fly?
The price of pork would go skyrocket.
What do pigs bring to the beach?
A surf-boar-d.
What’s a pig’s favorite sport?
Mud wrestling.
What is the most common Halloween outfit for a pig to dress up as?
Frankenswine.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
‘That’s the end of me!’
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What was the pig’s favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
Why should you not play basketball with a pig?
Well, he’ll hog the ball.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig?
Well, they’ll hog the covers!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
Dumb Pig Jokes
Dumbness is an excellent style of fun and amusement. When you are going to share dumb pig jokes, the situation is going to be fascinating and delightful.
Do have a look!
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What do you say to a pig with no nose?
You have n’ought a snout!
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg?
Pulled pork.
A farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet. It’s called ‘the production of swine lake.’
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
A Philanthropig.
What did the pig say on the scorching summer day?
I’m bacon.
What do you give a pig with rash?
Oinkment.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
What do you call a pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster.
What did the pig say when he broke his leg?
‘Call the Hambulance.’
What do jealous pigs like to do?
Squeal the Spotlight.
Which magazine does the Big Bad Wolf read?
Porks Illustrated!
Why did the farmer make the pigs do the paperwork?
Because it was grunt work.
Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
A pig fell into the mud.
What is the difference between a cow and a pig?
One is a pig!
Pig Jokes One Liners
The brief statements are more exciting and entertaining. People love to hear and share short jokes. That’s why we compiled multiple pigs jokes one-liners.
Kindly take a bird’s eye view of our collection!
What do piglets do after school?
They do their school hamwork!
What was the pig’s favorite Shakespeare play?
Ham-let!
What do pigs call the creation of the Universe?
The Pig Bang Theory.
How do you fit more pigs on the farm?
By putting up a sty-scraper!
When it’s nice and sunny, what do pigs like to do?
Go for a pignic!
What kind of truck does a pig like to drive?
A pig-up truck.
What instrument is most commonly played by pigs?
Pigcussion.
What sporting event do pigs attend every four years?
The Olympigs.
Where do pigs go on their summer holidays?
To a tropigal island!
One of the greatest pig painters in the world is called?
Pigcasso, of course!
Why did the police officer arrest the pig?
He was a pig-pocket.
Which US president was really a pig in disguise?
AbraHAM Lincon!
Where do pigs leave their cars?
A porking lot!
Why did the pig lose the race?
She pulled a hamstring.
What did the pig say to the other pig on Valentine?
Don’t go bacon my heart!
What did the pig say to the other pig?
You take me for grunted!
What did the pig say at the beach?
I’m bacon, I’m bacon!
Farmer Pig Jokes
Pigs are used on a large scale in the fields. A lot of unique items are created from their skin and other organs. Therefore farmer pig jokes are also very trendy. These jokes are the best thing to kill time during farming the fields.
What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer?
You take me for grunted.
On a drive in the country, Roger, a city gent noticed a farmer lifting a pig up to an apple tree and holding the pig there as it ate one apple after another.
‘Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about,’ said Roger, the city gent, ‘but if you just shook the tree so the apples fell to the ground, wouldn’t it save a lot of time?’
‘Ooh ar, time?’ answered the farmer.
‘What does time matter to a pig?’
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Dirty Pig Jokes
The internet is full of dirty material these days. Many dirty pig jokes are viral about this neat creature. There may be fragments of fun and pun in these pig jokes. Take a look!
Man who received pig’s heart has died.
He will be buried on Saturday and eaten later that night.
A guy and his duck.
A guy walks into his living room, he’s got a duck on his head. The guy’s wife is sitting on the couch watching TV.
The guy says; “This is the pig I’ve been fucking.”
The guy’s wife says; “That’s not a pig, it’s a duck!.”
The guy says; “I was talking to the duck.”
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road and a woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “PIG.”
The man immediately leans out of his window and yells, “BITCH.”
They continue on their way then. As the man rounds a bend, he suddenly crashes into a pig standing in the middle of the road.
A man walks into his home holding a duck by the neck
He looks at his wife and says, “Honey, here’s the pig I’ve been fuckin’”
Confused, she corrects him, “Sweetheart, that’s a duck”
“I wasn’t talking to you”
(NSFW) A woman walks into her bedroom….
A woman walks into her bedroom to find her husband having sex with a pig.
Her husband says “this is the dog I have sex with when you have a headache”.
The wife says “I think you’ll find that is a pig.”
The husband replies “I think you’ll find I was talking to the pig”
What do you call someone who hoards old English coins?
A guinea pig.
Prize winning pig
The Johnson brothers have had longstanding rivalry with fellow farmers the Taft brothers for a decade. The Taft brothers constantly show them up, and Billy (the oldest) decides he’s finally had enough, and this year they are going to win the prize for biggest pig at the county fair. He comes up with a plan, and about a month before the fair he and his brothers buy a cork and some extra large super strong rubber bands. They cork the pigs butt, so it can’t shit, and feed it as much as it will eat.
It works, and the pig gets massive, too big to get into the back of Jim (the middle son) so they have to get a full horse trailer to haul the thing. The day of the fair, everyone is wowed by the size of their pig, and it easily beats even the Taft brothers, who storm off madder than hornets. They celebrate their win with a night of partying, before settling back home with the pig.
The younger brother, Elmer, however, realizes they have a problem. How in the heck are they gonna unplug the pig now? It’s got a month of shit backed up inside it, and none of the brothers are too keen on being the one to pull the cork. Billy comes up with another plan that night, over a few beers. He drives a few hours to the big city, and buys a pet monkey from an old high school buddy who can get that kind of thing. So they set about training this monkey on how to pull a cork from a pigs ass. It takes a solid week or two before they are confident it knows how, and now the pig is looking like it’s about to burst.
So they take the monkey and the pig into the field, and set the monkey in position for the whistle that will tell it to go. Elmer backs up about 10 feet. Jim is more nervous and goes back a solid 20 feet. Billy has taken some high school math, and figures he’s smarter than the others and stands back a solid 50 feet. When he gets there, he blows the whistle.
Nothing happens for a second or two, then a wall of shit sprays out, covering Billy up to his ankles. Cussing and angry he starts walking forward until he gets to Jim, who got knocked to his knees and has pig shit up to his waist- Jim is using language even their father, a sailor had never used- roaring mad at the shit covering half his body.
Together they wade forward to find Elmer, flat on his back, buried in shit that had sent him flying. But instead of cussing mad like they expect, he is laughing like crazy. Billy looks at him and shakes him. “Calm down Elmer, that blow knocked you silly.”
Elmer keeps laughing, too hard to even talk.
“Come on Elmer,” Jim says “it’s okay, it’s just shit, don’t lose it over that.”
Finally Elmer calm enough to get out a few words. “Shit sucks” he gasps between laughs, “but you shoulda seen it” “poor monkey trying to shove that cork back in”
Three Farmers, a Pig and a Monkey
Three Farmers are raising a pig for the fair, trying to put their brains together to beat everyone else out. One of them gets the idea to put a cork in its butt, “if it can’t poop it will get huge!” So they do this, and when the fair comes it’s the biggest pig the county has ever seen and they win. They bring the pig back to the farm and say “well we should probably take that cork out… But I sure as hell don’t want to do it.” The other two agree. They decide the best way to do this is to train a monkey to take the cork out for them. They spend a few days training the monkey, ensuring that it will go to plan. The day of, the first farmer stands 5 feet away, the second 15 feet away, and the last 25 feet away. They signal the monkey, and POOP just flies everywhere. The first farmer is completely covered, the second one up to his waist and the last up to his ankles.
They rush forward to dig out the first farmer, and when they do he’s laughing his head off. “Why are you laughing?? You almost died!” He wheezes back at them: “you should have seen the monkey trying to put the cork back in!!”
This little boy came down to breakfast
and when he got to the table, his mom had bacon, eggs and milk on the table, but before he could eat, he had to take out the trash like his mother told him the night before. He was pissed, so he stormed out the door, and on his way to the trash bin he kicked a chicken, and then a pig and a cow. When he got back in the house, there was toast and orange juice on the table, he asked his mom what happened to the other food, she said she saw what he did and he wasn’t getting what she cooked. So, he was eating the toast and his dad came up and stumbled over the cat, and he kicked it, the little boy said to his mom, “Are you going to tell or am I?…”
One day a teacher was reading the story of the three little pigs to her class
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building material for his home.
She read, “. . . And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, ‘Pardon me sir, but may i have some of that straw to build a house?’”
The teacher paused, then asked the class, “And what do you think that man said?”
One little boy raised his hand and said, “ I think he said, ‘HOLY SHIT! A TALKING PIG!?!’”
Why did the Welshman have sex with a pig?
He thought it was a sheep.
Nazi walks into a bar with a pig under his arm…
The bartender says “Get that filthy animal out of my bar”.
The pig says “Can I get a drink first?”
What do you call extra skin on a pig’s penis?
The boar skin.
Pig Jokes for Adults
Adults love to hear pig jokes. Therefore, after an untiring effort and struggle, we collected prime pig jokes for adults. Do not forget to share them with your companions.
What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A ball hog!
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
Why are pigs, terrible basketball players?
They hog the ball.
Why did the piglet yell at his sister at the dinner table?
‘She was hogging the food.’
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree on me. It was a Hambush.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs competes in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
What did Papa Pig shout at his kids in the car?
‘Stop swining! We’re almost there.’
What do you call a laundromat for pigs?
Hogwash.
What did the cow say to the fat pig?
Moooooooove over.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What did one pig say to the other?
‘Let’s be pen pals.’
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
‘He’s bacon.’
What is a pig’s favorite pie?
Mississippi Mud.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
‘Nice to meat you.’
Where did the pig go on holiday?
Snout and about.
Knock Knock Pig Jokes
Knock-knock pig jokes are always tough to find. Still, they are trendy and a great source of fun and recreation for people of all ages and gender. We made a list for your enjoyment and excitement.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig me up at seven o’clock.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
Pig Jokes and Puns
Puns are always fascinating and impressive. Their double meanings compel people to laugh openly. Therefore, here is a significant number of pig puns and jokes for our elegant readers and hearers.
Yesterday a pig showed me around his new home. Actually, it was quite sty-lish.
What do you call a pig who steals?
A hamburglar.
Why did the pig cross the road?
He got BOARed of the other side.
What’s the name of the smartest pig that ever lived?
Ein- swine.
How do you take a poorly pig to the hospital?
In an hambulance!
What treatment do pigs get when they are ill?
Oinkment!
What else do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?
It’s a pig tail!
What happens when you put a pig in a musical?
It squeals the show.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
With bird flu, you need tweetment. But with swine flu, you need oink-ment.
What do you get if you cross between a pig with a dinosaur?
A porkasaurus rex!
What do you call a pig with a rash?
Ham and Eggs-zema.
Why did the farmer call his pig an ink?
Because he always ran out of the pen…
What happens when a pig mixes two colors together?
He makes a pigment!
Where do pigs get together for a laugh?
The meet market.
Where can a pig go to see the Statue of Liberty?
New pork city!
What do Bad Piggies like to do at the theater?
Squeal the spotlight.
Final Thoughts on Pig Jokes
Now let’s summarize all the fragments. You have checked out multiple kinds of pig jokes, including funny pig jokes, best pig jokes, pig jokes for adults, pig jokes and puns, etc.
Pig jokes are amazingly unique among all other marks. These jokes are getting viral day by day. People love to hear jokes about pigs.
They love to spend time with their loved ones while hearing and sharing these jokes. People love to do different activities with their friends and family members when they are together. They want to make their spare time memorable.
These pig jokes are the best way to spend glorious time with near ones.
Do not forget to tell us how you found our jokes. We would love to hear your comments about our collection. Also share your new jokes with us for our amusement.
