190 Hilarious Nerdy Jokes for Your Dorky Friends
Welcome to our amazing collection of nerdy jokes. Because they are the ingredients for laughter potions, nerdy jokes have a lot of fun.
When geeky jokes are turned into nerd jokes, there is a double roar of laughter, which makes the amusing nerd jokes even funnier, because every nerd in the room can relate to it.
Some of the funny nerdy jokes are ideal for sharing the nerd love and amusement with a friend in your class. What could be more enjoyable than exchanging a few laughs? Furthermore, your fellow nerds will appreciate you expressing oneself in a humorous manner.
Check out the collection of the funniest nerd jokes ever to make your friends laugh and make a pleasant environment in the room.
You May Also Be Interested In:
Table of Contents
Best Nerdy Jokes
The dorky jokes have been scientifically proven to make you smile and lift your day. Take a look at some of these great and best nerdy jokes that will make your day brighter.
How does the computer proudly address little son?
My microchip off the old block.
A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says, “I’m sorry, we don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.”
The Higgs Boson says, “But how can you have mass without me?”
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just change the standard to darkness.
Where does bad light end up?
In prism.
What’s polite and works for the phone company?
A deferential operator.
What do trespassers have in common with logical fallacies?
They both violate the rules of the premises.
What do baby Twi’leks wear when they eat fish?
A Bib Fortuna
What do Jesus and a nerd have in common?
Both are long-haired, live at their parents till their 30’s, and if they’ll do anything, it is considered a miracle.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Did you hear about that parents that wrote an app in LISP to help them find their missing daughter?
They were just looking for Samantha
What do you call a tall, obese computer nerd with a bladder control problem?
A Big Fat Geek Wetting.
Hey Baby, are you charge times temperature times the ratio of a circle’s diameter to its circumference?
Cuz you are a qT(pi)
When people ask why I’m good for nothing…
I reply “I put all my skill points into Necromancy, without knowing about the patch.”
Why did the racist fail the mathematics examination?
Because he was unable to face the prospect of integration.
Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?
A burger is in its ground state.
How many programmers would it take to change a light bulb?
Not even one, because it is a hardware problem.
My friend Power has been stressed all week. His boss keeps making him work overtime.
(P=W/T)
Why was the function so bent out of shape?
Its regression model was too tight a fit.
My teacher said to me, “Name two pronouns.”
I said, “Who, me?”
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It’s down to its last quarter.
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink?
Descartes says, “I think not” and then he disappears.
What are you if you aren’t a part of the solution?
You are then the part of a precipitate.
There are two kittens on a sloped roof. Which one slides of first?
The one with the lowest mew.
Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?”
The first logician says, “I don’t know.”
The second logician says, “I don’t know.”
The third logician says, “Yes.”
Why did the programmer use the entire bottle of shampoo during one shower?
Because the bottle said: “lather, rinse, repeat.”
What happens when you read a book about anti-gravity?
You cannot put it down.
Funny Nerdy Jokes
Funny jokes, especially funny nerd jokes, never go out of style. Here’s a compilation of all-time humorous jokes for nerds with geeky humor that will make everyone in the room burst out laughing.
What is a glass of water with a tooth in it called?
One molar solution.
What is another name for a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
Q: What do Biologists wear on their heads when playing Football?
A: Helminths
Q: Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?
A: She covers the story from every angle
Q: Why can’t cats work on the computer?
A: They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
Heisenberg is pulled over by a cop who asks him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know where I am.”
Why is Superman always scared of fighting cases of cyber-crimes?
Because he is terrified of Krypto-Currency!
What would a photon say about luggage while checking in a hotel?
No luggage, I travel light.
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of paws and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
One night a man and a woman walked into the bar they left. Who remains?
The night.
What is a programmer from Finland called?
A Nerdic.
Why shouldn’t one drink water while studying?
Because adding water decreases concentration.
A word in this sentence is misspelled. What word is it?
Misspelled, duh.
What is a computer programmer’s least favorite animated movie?
They absolutely despise “A Bug’s Life”!
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They’re great with figures.
What is a cation afraid of?
Dogions
What would happen if eight hobbits got together?
They would know that they are turning into a hobbyte.
Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses?
Because they don’t C#.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. “Oh Bunsen, my flame,” the sodium swooned. “I melt whenever I see you!” The Bunsen burner replied: “Calm down. It’s just a phase you’re going through.”
Why do accountants not love to read novels?
Because the only numbers there are page numbers.
Hilarious Nerdy Jokes
Nerd humor is a type of humor in which nerds will laugh at the same joke over and over again. Why? Because they’re all aware that the jokes about geeks are completely logical. Check out these hilarious nerd jokes for nerds in your area to find out the solution straight away.
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.
Schrodinger gets pulled over by a cop. The cop searches the trunk and says, “Do you know there’s a dead cat in here?”
Schrodinger says, “Well I do now!”
Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?
He’s 0k now.
Why did the programmer quit his job?
Because he didn’t get arrays.
What do people from Georgia tell men via satellite when they show interest in women who aren’t interested in them?
keep your hands to yourself.
You must be an inherent risk, because you’re out of control
I’m a Compliance & Risk manager and I laughed my ass off for ages at this
I just saw Avengers End Game and cried when I realize …
… that nebula has a memory backup cloud base service.
When I need to count 8 cycles in programming, I start at 0 and add 8 each cycle.
I won’t still need it, when it’s sixty-four.
Why did the IT company set up their new offices near the sea beach?
Because there, it was always cloudy!
What do you call two crows on a branch?
Attempted murder.
What would a toe say if its sister stepped on it?
Mi-to-sis.
What would Silver Surfer and Iron Man make if they got together?
An alloy.
There are two types people in the world.
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
What did the archeologists say when they discovered the new pyramid?
They said it was unencrypted.
Why do hippos remember everything?
Because they go to school at the hippocampus.
I would tell you a funny joke about the periodic table…
But all of them argon!
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
Did you know there’s a Band called 1023MB?
They are really good, yet they haven’t had any gigs yet.
Knock Knock Nerdy Jokes
Everyone will be surprised by these amusing nerdy knock knock jokes we have assembled here. Our amusing knock-knock jokes will knock-knock your socks off and bring these old jokes back to life.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Says.
Says who?
Says me, that’s who!
Knock Knock.
Who is there?
To?
To Who?
No, to whom!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, YOU’RE a poo!
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No idiot… Cows go moo!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Omelette.
Omelette who?
Omelette you finish.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Who let the dogs out?
I heard barking!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ray D.
Ray D. who?
Ray D or not, here I come.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ida.
Ida who?
It’s pronounced Ida-ho, and the state capital is Boise.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Art.
Art who?
R2D2 is my favorite droid in Star Wars.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
Okay, fine. W-H-O.
Nerdy Jokes One Liners
When it comes to nerd humor, nerd jokes one-liners are something that receives a lot of attention. These are the most hilarious nerdy one liners you’ll ever hear. Check them out!
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
I’m reading a book on Anti-Gravity. I can’t put it down.
The universe is made of Protons, Neutrons, Electrons and Morons.
I have a new theory on inertia. But it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
My physics teacher told me I had not potential. Then he pushed me off the building.
My pin is the last 4 digits of π.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but really mean your mother.
I love how the earth rotates…it really makes my day.
If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner. They usually have 90 degrees.
There are only two hard things in computer science – cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.
May the Mass Times Acceleration be with you!
A Buddhist monk goes up to a hot dog stand and says to the vendor, “Make me one with everything.
I had an argument with a 90° angle. It turns out it was right.
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Corny Nerdy Jokes
Looking for a joke that elicits the corniest idea? This is the ideal collection of corny nerd jokes for the nerdy bunch of friends that enjoy asking each other silly questions and laughing at each other’s responses.
Rubeus Hagrid: “You are a unit of power, Harry Potter!”
Harry Potter: “I am Watt?”
What do you call science and mathematics nerds trying to mix well at a public gathering?
You call them social engineers.
McCoy: “Should we have a friendly game of cards?”
Kirk: “No, let’s play poker.”
What is the least popular show on Bajor?
Keeping up with the Cardassians!
Why Did I Divide Sin by Tan?
Just cos.
What does the ice cube say to the water glass?
I was water before it got cool.
McCoy: “I’ve borrowed Mr. Scott’s bagpipes.”
Kirk: “But you can’t play them.”
McCoy: “While I’ve got them, neither can he!”
How do you stop from falling out of a Bird of Prey?
You just have to Klingon.
What’s Another Name for Santa’s Elves?
Subordinate Clauses.
McCoy: “Do you serve crabs here?”
Mess officer: “We serve anybody. Sit down.”
Renewable Energy?
I am a big Fan!
The Past, The Present, and The Future Walked into A Bar
It was tense.
Nerdy Jokes about Science
To laugh at a good science joke, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist. In reality, there are so many science topics you may exploit for jokes, from the depths of the ocean to the stars above. Check out this list of best nerdy science jokes.
What did the biologist wear to impress his date?
Designer genes
A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
“You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.
“That’s it! I can never remember that word.”
What did the stamen say to the pistil?
I like your style!
I was reading a book on helium. I couldn’t put it down.
What type of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?
2 Na
Q: What was the name of the first Electricity Detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer.
The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
What is the quickest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?
Pull down its genes.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
How can you know a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark!
Teen 1: Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together??
Teen 2: OMg!
What kind of tree can be placed into your hand?
A palm tree
They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
What do you call it when a biologist takes a photo of himself?
A cell-fie
Famous last words from chemists:
1) “And now the taste test…”
2) “And now shake it a bit…”
3) “In which glass was my mineral water?”
4) “This is a completely safe experimental setup.”
5) “Now you can take the protection window away…”
Why are chemists excellent for solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
Q: How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
What do you call a fly that lands on the butter?
A butterfly!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says, “Excuse me, is this stool taken?”
What does Earth say to make fun of the other planets?
“You guys have no life.”
What did the volcano say to his beautiful wife?
I lava you
After sex, one behaviorist turned to another behaviorist and said, “That was great for you, but how was it for me?”
How do you know that Saturn has been married multiple times?
Because she has a lot of rings!
Q: Why can you never trust atoms?
A: They make up everything!
Nerdy Jokes about Math
If you want to shake up a discussion or make someone burst out laughing, check out these nerdy math jokes! You can use them as humorous Instagram captions or simply email a few to your fellow nerds.
Do you know why seven eight nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat three squared meals a day!
Question: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
Answer: To get to the same side.
Question: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why should you never talk to pi?
Because he’ll just go on forever.
What is the butterfly’s favorite subject in school?
Mothematics.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
Question: Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Answer: Because they’ll never meet.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless.”
Question: Are monsters good at math?
Answer: Not unless you Count Dracula.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of three?
Because they can’t even.
Question: Why do plants hate math?
Answer: Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Question: Why are math books so darn depressing?
Answer: They’re literally filled with problems.
Teacher: Why are you turning in a blank sheet of paper?
Student: Because all my answers are imaginary numbers.
Three statisticians go out hunting together.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out, “We got him!”
Question: What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Answer: Use acute angle.
Student One: I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday.
Student Two: She must be plotting something.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Question: How come old math teachers never die?
Answer: They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why don’t calculus majors throw house parties?
Because you should never drink and derive.
Question: My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
Answer: She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Question: How do you stay warm in any room?
Answer: Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Question: What’s the best way to serve pi?
Answer: A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How do mathematicians scold their children?
“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”
Question: Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
Answer: It was three feet deep on average.
Question: Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Answer: Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably
Question: What did the zero say to the eight?
Answer: Nice belt!
Question: What’s the best place to do math homework?
Answer: On a multiplication table.
Funniest Nerdy Jokes
To properly understand these funniest nerdy jokes, you’ll need to be a bit of a nerd, but if you are, you’ll find them amusing… Take a glance over this list of nerdy jokes and enjoy them.
C, E flat and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
How can you tell if a computer geek is an extrovert?
They stare at your shoes when you talk instead of their own.
What is a physicist’s favorite food?
Fission chips.
Why did the software engineer get six cartons of milk?
Because his wife asked him to get one carton of milk and if they have eggs, get six.
What car does Yoda drive?
To-Yoda.
LinkedIn is like reverse dating site for IT nerds
They get a lot of messages from girls
But ignore most of them
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick!
What’s blue and bad for your teeth?
The same brick moving really really fast.
Q: What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?
A: A slipped disk
Why are D&D nerds better in bed?
Because they always take initiative in the roleplay.
Q: How can you tell if a computer geek is an extrovert?
A: They stare at your shoes when you talk instead of their own.
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a boring nerd..
I’d have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25
Q: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
A: He was better at fitting curves than hitting them
I’m dating an astronomer and she’s a total nerd,
but with a heavenly body.
Q: What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe?
A: Ouch, Mitosis!
What Does a Subatomic Duck Say?
Quark.
What did the Jedi say to the sheep?
May the Force Be with Ewe.
What did the Zombie say to the Jock Bullying the Nerd?
Don’t Touch my Food!
A young man was applying to join Starfleet.
Recruiting officer: “Where were you born?”
Young man: “Earth, sir.”
Recruiting officer: “What part?”
Young man: “All of me, sir.”
What Do You Say When You Comfort a Grammar Nazi?
There, Their, They’re.
Nerdy Jokes for Adults
No matter how you share these nerd jokes for adults, we guarantee that any adult will have a good laugh thanks to our selection of nerd jokes—so much so that we’re positively charged that you’ll receive an electric response.
Your Mother Is So Classless
She could be a Marxist utopia!
What Tea makes you original?
Novel-tea
How can you tell the difference between a nerd and someone with a BDSM fettish?
Ask them what a dungeon master is
What is a group of nerds called?
A Google.
Do you want to know what I realized about Quiet Kids that are also Science Nerds?
They only speak periodically.
Why Did The Photons Flee Through A Prism?
It was the only way they could split!
What’s a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?
They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.
Why Are Nerd Parties So Boring
Because they only invite nerds, who aren’t interested in that kind of affair.
A Bully walked up to a Nerd and said…..
Bully: Hey Nerd. I bet all your friends are nerds too!
Nerd: That is where you are wrong. I have no friends.
Glasses wearers are less likely to get Covid-19…
I guess you could say we have nerd immunity.
Where do Soviet nerds gather?
At Commie-Con.
The First Rule of Tautology Club Is…
The First Rule of Tautology Club
what’s a nerd’s favourite dessert?
Raspberry pi
What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?
Alien versus Redditor.
Did you hear about the computer nerd who was eaten alive by a giant snake?
Now he’s programming in python.
Two computer nerds start arguing about if they have to pronounce it gif or jif.
The argument gets extremely heated and it goes on for hours.
In the end they just decide to have the sandwich with just the jelly.
Final Thoughts on Nerdy Jokes
We hope that reading our article of nerdy jokes was a true value for your time. There’s no longer any stigma attached to calling oneself a nerd. Nerds are this generation’s hidden heroes.
It won’t take long before the world is ruled solely by the nerdiest men and women among us, as technology advances and STEAM programs become more popular in schools. It’s finally our turn to shine!
We would not have any of the technical advancements we have today if it weren’t for the efforts of innumerable dedicated scientists, mathematicians, linguists, and other intellectual people. With these humorous nerd jokes, you can celebrate nerds and your own nerdiness.
Here are some hilarious jokes about nerds that all of us self-proclaimed nerds will find not only amusing but also beneficial. You’ll be ready to impress your coworkers the next time they recite their favorite jokes around the water cooler with one of these gems.
We tried our hardest to bring you just the best nerdy jokes. Be happy!
