145 Hilarious Mother’s Day Jokes to Crack Her Up
Give your mother a collection of amusing Mother’s Day jokes to make her smile and laugh. Make the most important lady in your life laugh out loud with the lists of humorous mom jokes that are too amusing to handle provided below.
Most of us would select a box of magma chocolates over a great long chuckle if given the option. However, there is no need to select! Mothers are deserving of everything.
A hug, some flowers, a meaningful note, or a beautiful gift are all wonderful choices when determining what to present the person who brought you into this world or brought your children into this world.
However, on this day of special honor for Moms — which should actually be every day — you can’t go wrong with genuine amusing Mother’s Day jokes that will have her smiling from dawn to dark.
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Best Mother’s Day Jokes
Let us first go through some of the best Mother’s Day jokes. These mom jokes are sure to make your mom laugh — not to mention the rest of the family.
Why is a computer so smart?
Because it listens to its motherboard.
Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day?
So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.
What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor?
The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.
Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother’s Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!
I finally gave my mom what she really wanted on Mother’s Day. I got married.
Why did the cookie cry?
Because his mother was a wafer so long!
Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?
Dad: No.
Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
My mother is a very balanced woman. I tell her “You are a woman like no m-other!”.
This week I’m taping a show full of pregnant moms & surprising them w/ big gifts for Mother’s Day. I hope it doesn’t turn into Labor Day.
When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy.
Mom: “Look at that kid over there; he’s not misbehaving.”
Son: “Maybe he has good parents then!”
What sweets do astronaut moms like?
Mars bars.
What was the mommy cat wearing to breakfast on Mother’s Day?
She was still in her paw-jamas.
What’s the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman’s just a superhero now and then. Moms are superheroes all the time.
Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist?
Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.
Why did you chop the joke book in half?
Mom said to cut the comedy.
“Mother’s Day” is currently trending on Twitter, a social network where everyone is hiding from their families.
Funny Mother’s Day Jokes
Mothers are in charge of keeping their families happy. What about her happiness, though? We’ve compiled a selection of funny jokes for Mother’s Day that will make her and everyone else giggle uncontrollably. These funny Mother’s Day jokes will definitely cheer her up.
What did the panda give his mommy?
A bear hug.
Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
You know you’re a mom when… …picking up another human to smell their butt is not only normal but totally necessary.
Boy: “My mom is having a new baby.”
Girl: “What’s wrong with the old one?”
I called my mother up when they announced the Nobel Prize. She said, “That’s nice — and when are you coming to see me next?”
What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother’s Day when she was about to do the dishes?
“Relax mom… you can just do them in the morning.”
The Day After Mother’s Day: now back to 364 days of letting it go to voicemail when your mother calls you.
Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling?
She was an alley cat.
I asked my wife what she’d like for Mother’s Day & she said for me to drive 7 hours east with the kids & then turn around & come back.
Why don’t mothers wear watches?
There’s a clock on the stove.
How do mothers change the diapers of their babies?
Rashly.
Why did the boy put the Mother’s Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them.
Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.
How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late?
Use the moooooote button.
Which city is every mother’s favorite?
Mom-te Carlo.
Every Saturday, my mother used to change the flowers in our house. Her favorite flowers are chrysanthe-mum.
My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom.
So, I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was.
My mother understands me very well. She is able to e-mum-ciate my problems better than I can.
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to
tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Moms will clean up everything. Scientists have proven that a Mom’s spit is the exact chemical composition of Formula 409. Mom’s spit on a Kleenex – you get rust off a bumper with that.
Corny Mother’s Day Jokes
Mother’s Day is the day when we show our mothers how much we appreciate and love them. But enough of that mushy love nonsense! Let’s make our mothers laugh and smile on Mother’s Day.
We’ve compiled a list of our greatest jokes on Mother’s Day to help you have a good time! These corny Mother’s Day jokes are perfect for making her laugh!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s Pop-corn?
Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor?
She bit her tongue!
Son: “Mom, what’s a weekend?”
Mom: “I don’t know, sweetheart, I haven’t had one since you were born.”
Why did the baby strawberry cry?
Because his mom was in a jam!
What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed?
Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!
What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then her kids have to play inside.
What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost?
I want my mummy.
Son: “Mom, stop making jokes. You’re not funny.”
Mom: “I made you, didn’t I?”
What do you call a mom who can’t draw?
Tracy.
What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother’s Day?
Starbucks.
My mom doesn’t like to waste food. That vegetable drawer in her fridge looks like a compost heap in a swamp. You need a hazmat suit to get near it.
But I love her cooking.
Why did corn mom get dressed up?
She had a cornball to attend at the school.
What did the mother say when her child was not trying to eat veggies?
Peas give them a chance.
Good Mother’s Day Jokes
Sorry, Dad, but moms are the ones that hold down the fort when it comes to humor. So, with that in mind, we’ve put together this lovely collection of good Mother’s Day jokes for you.
Son: “Mom, can I have $20?”
Mom: “Does it look like I am made of money?”
Son: “Well, isn’t that what M-O-M stands for?”
Not to be cheesy, but you’re a grate mom.
My kids brought me breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day: an Egg McMuffin. I was just relieved that I wouldn’t have to clean the kitchen.
What did the momma say to the foal?
It’s pasture your bedtime!
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
What did the kids say to their mother to wish her a happy mother’s day?
They said, “Have a mom-entous Mother’s day.”
What did the mother shark say to her kid shark?
“Just watch your shark-asm, young boy!”
The daughter asked her mother “How does it feel to have an intelligent and smart daughter?
Mother replied, “I don’t know, ask your Grandma.”
Mother’s Day Jokes One Liners
Surprise your mother on her special day by presenting some of the greatest and funniest mother jokes one liners. These Mother’s Day jokes can even be written on a card. What a wonderful present it would be!
What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day?
Mums.
What do you call a short mom?
A mini-mum.
What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year?
Mummy’s day.
Nothing is really lost… until mom can’t find it.
What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato?
Catch up!
Olive you, mom.
I know how to do anything. I’m a mom.
A mother’s sacrifice isn’t giving birth. It’s nine months without wine.
There is no butter mom than you!
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
You mean a waffle lot to me, mom.
If moms were flowers, I’d pick you.
My kids are old enough now to go out on their own and get their mom a Mother’s Day gift she won’t like.
Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
For Mother’s Day I got my mom a case of Bud Lite. After all, I’m the reason she drinks.
What kind of candy do moms love for Mother’s Day? Her-she’s Kisses.
There’s love, and then there’s eating the slop your kids made you for Mother’s Day love.
The week after Mother’s Day must be like Christmas for therapists.
There should only be one “World’s Greatest Mom” coffee cup. Then we’d know.
Happy Mother’s Day Jokes
Mothers have an unbreakable link with their children. Kids would do anything for their mothers, especially if it meant making them laugh. So, to assist them, we bring to you a collection of happy Mother’s Day jokes that are sure to make everyone chuckle.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thanks for puddin’ up with me.
What did the kid say after having her favorite sandwiches made by her mom?
She said, “This may sound cheesy, but you are grate.”
This year I’m going to give my mom the ultimate Mother’s Day gift. I’m going to take her shopping and pretend I’m enjoying it.
What did the angry mother broom say to the baby broom?
She said, “You overswept and missed the school bus.”
We go to our mother for all kinds of advice. She says she loves giving us advice that is mom-sense.
How do you get the kids to be quiet on Mother’s Day morning?
Say mums the word.
Mother to daughter advice:
Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!
I told my kids on Mother’s Day I wanted to be pampered – so they bought me some diapers.
What warm drink helps mom relax on Mother’s Day?
Calm-omile tea.
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.
This year I did something really wild for my mom on Mother’s Day: I listened to her advice. Next year I might even take it.
Me: I’m looking for something that doesn’t look like a last minute gift and says, “you’re a great mom.”
Gas station cashier: …cigarettes?
What color flowers do mama cats like to get on Mother’s Day?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
Every Mother’s Day I stop by and visit my mother’s grave, just to make sure she hasn’t moved.
What did the daughter say to her mom after gifting her flowers for Mother’s day? She said, “I don’t say this a lot, but I am so happy to be or-chid.
Lots of Moms today opened packages and ooh-ed and ahh-ed over new cutting boards they thought were going to be iPads.
Clean Mother’s Day Jokes
In this section, we will share with you some clean Mother’s Day jokes that you may share with your mother without fear!
I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
He said, “Call for backup.”
I bought my mom a mug that says, “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son”.
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.
There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.
There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking:
Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.
What did the hermit crabs do on Mother’s Day?
They shellabrated their mommy.
Mom’s recipe for iced coffee:
Have kids.
Make coffee.
Forget you made coffee.
Put it in the microwave.
Forget you put it in the microwave.
Drink it cold.
What did the angry mother horse say to her foal?
“It is way pasture bedtime.”
What three words solve dad’s every problem?
Ask your mother.
Why is cleaning with kids a tough job for moms to do?
Because it is like cleaning teeth with Oreos.
George knocked on the door of his friend’s house. When his friend’s mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play?”
“No,” said the mother, “it’s too cold.”
“Well, then,” said George, “can his football come out to play?”
ME: Want to go on a hot date for Mother’s Day?
WIFE: Sure! Will you watch the kids?
Why did the mother needle get angry with the baby needle?
Because she got late and it was past her thread-time!
How do all the kid’s parents dress up during Halloween?
As Mummy and deadies.
Knock Knock Mother’s Day Jokes
Knock-knock jokes are classic and will always make you chuckle. We’ve compiled a bunch of amusing knock knock jokes for Mother’s Day that will make everyone laugh.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like breakfast in bed, Mommy?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana give you a kiss for Mother’s Day!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Omelet
Omelet who?
Omelet Mommy sleep in today.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Llama.
Llama who?
Llama Llama, I love my mama!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Adore
Adore who?
Adore you mommy!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Mother’s Day!
Knock, Knock!
Who’s knocking?
Hardly.
Hardly who?
Hardly any does go by when I don’t think about you, mom.
Knock, Knock!
Who is out there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Mother’s Day!
Knock, Knock!
Who knocks?
Anna
Anna who?
Anna’ther day is here and it’s Mother’s Day.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a hug for Mother’s Day!
Knock, Knock!
Who’s outside?
Havana.
Havana who?
Havana mom-tastic Mother’s Day.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec to give mommy Mother’s Day kisses
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bacon.
Bacon who?
Bacon brownies for Mother’s Day.
Knock Knock
Who’s there
Anita
Anita who?
Anita give you a hug for Mother’s Day!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bernie.
Bernie who?
Bernie toast and now Mother’s Day breakfast is late.
Mother’s Day Jokes to Put on a Card
Mother’s Day is observed every year on the second Sunday of May in the United States, and it is a day for all of us to publicly praise moms and motherhood. Here are some Mother’s Day card jokes that you can share with your mom.
Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… While daddy snores next to you.
Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?
Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as “getting dressed.”
My mother has done a lot to make us feel loved. To me, my mom is opti-mum.
Why don’t they have Mother’s Day sales?
Because mothers are priceless.
My mother is undoubtedly the best mother in the world. I call her Maxi-mum.
Most egg-cellent mom award.
I love you more than my sister does.
No matter what life throws at you at least don’t have ugly children.
Instead of grandkids, may I interest you in a card?
Mom, thanks for providing me with womb and board for all of these years!
Happy Mother’s Day! Without moms, where would we be? Probably with our hair still stuck in that water fountain drain. Just me?
100% amazing mum.
Final Thoughts on Mother’s Day Jokes
Want to give your mum the best Mother’s Day present and make her feel special? Then build a Mother’s Day card and insert some funny Mother’s Day jokes to make her giggle all day!
We’ve compiled a bunch of hilarious mother jokes that will make her laugh for hours!
As Mother’s Day approaches, you may be looking for some poignant Mother’s Day poetry and quotations that honor the role of a mother, or perhaps some particular Bible verses about Mom.
That is not what you will discover here! These mom jokes are intended to make your mother giggle at the absurdities of parenting. Take a moment to share some of these sayings with the moms in your life.
You’ll discover something here to help liven things up, whether your mom is the practical joker in the family or she could need a good chuckle today.
Motherhood may be challenging, and she’s probably doing a daily juggling act to keep the family afloat. So use these Mother’s Day jokes to make her laugh.
