150 Best Minion Jokes That Are Despicably Hilarious
If you have been on the lookout for minion jokes you have come to the right place. For those who don’t know what minions are, let us give you a slight background of them.
Eric Guillon, Pierre Coffin, and Chris Renaud are credited with inventing the minions. The small yellow characters from “Despicable Me” achieved their own kind of celebrity just by being adorable.
They’re attractive, kids think they’re amusing, and given their lack of a fully formed language, they’re powerful enough characters to handle their own movie. When the minions came, they took over the world — or, at the very least, Facebook for a while.
They also made a lot of gags in these films. And we’ve compiled a list of all the funny minion jokes for you to enjoy. So, without further ado, let us go through these minion jokes.
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Table of Contents
Best Minion Jokes
We can’t take our eyes off these banana-loving creatures every time we see them on social media. This is why we have prepared this list of best minion jokes for you to have fun.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe one day you’ll find a brain back there!
I may not have lost all of my marbles just yet.
But there is definitely a small hole in the bag somewhere.
What is the fastest way for Minions to get from the first floor to the ground floor?
By sliding down the banana-ster!
What does the Minion’s say to its favourite food before they leave the house?
I’m going bananas.
I have decided to cut back on being sarcastic. I solemnly swear to only be sarcastic on days that begin with T like… Tuesday, Thursday, today, & tomorrow.
If I manage to survive the rest of the week, I would like my straight jacket in hot pink & my helmet to sparkle.
What would you call a Minion that is covered in black stripes?
A despicable bee.
Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
I don’t know about you, but I’ve thought about running away more as an adult than I ever did as kid.
What do you call someone who has a huge amount of Minions?
A Minion-aire.
I am batman “Butt” – Man hehehahahaaa
What do you call a Nintendo Wii character that looks like a Minion?
Despicable Mii.
The phone of A 6-year-old today the phone I had when a was 6
Why couldn’t the Minion understand what the Shetland pony was saying?
Because he was a little hoarse.
No officer, I haven’t been drinking I was trying to avoid all the potholes!
What musical instrument did the Minion keep in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
Why do Minions wear two pairs of trousers when they play golf?
In case they get a hole in one.
I have everything in my purse you could possibly imagine… …
except money.
Raise your hand if you think the karma bus is moving too slow.
Dear Mr. Spider unless you pay rent… …
you can’t live in my house.
Funny Minion Jokes
For several years, the film “Despicable Me,” starring Minions, has been a great blockbuster, with sequels also performing well in theatres. Here are some humor funny minion jokes that we have taken directly from these movies.
If a bra is an ‘over the shoulder boulder holder’ then what would you call the men’s underwear?
Under the butt nut hut?!
I love my six-pack so much; I protect it with a layer of fat.
If someone throws a stone at you. Throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it.
If people are talking about you behind your back, then just fart!
Every day I arrive at work with good intentions and a great attitude… then idiots happen.
What’s yellow and always points north?
A magnetic Minion.
I’m at the age where an “All-nighter” just means that I didn’t have to get up to pee.
What did a mom minion say to her child on their birthday?
“You’re one in a minion.”
Dear Stomach,
You’re bored, not hungry. So shut up!
Where does all my money go?? It’s like, hocus pocus I’m brokus
“Things to do today:
1. Get up.
2. Survive.
3. Go back to bed.”
Challenge only a genius can say these four words, four times really fast without getting tongue twisted. Eye, yam, stew, peed
Are you free tonight?”
“No, I’m expensive.”
That awkward moment when you think you do a silent fart and it comes out like a machine gun.
I hate it when people are at your house and ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’
No, we pee in the yard.”
OMG! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where shitty ideas come from.
Clean Minion Jokes
Children are attracted by the miniature yellow minions that obey their boss and do what they are told, but do not speak and only make small sounds in their own language. Here are some clean minion jokes for you to enjoy.
Being able to respond with sarcasm within seconds of a stupid question is a sign of a healthy brain.
What did Scarlett Overkill say to her favourite yellow henchman?
You really are one in a Minion.
The best thing about me… I’m a limited edition. There are no other copies!
Bet you’re thinking thank the good lord!
My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.
How did the minions become president?
They staged a Gru d’etat.
Why did the Minion phone an ambulance for his banana?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
Brains are awesome I wish everybody had one.
Why do Minions spend so much time on the internet?
Because they love Gru-gle searches.
What does the girl do after she has been helped by one of Gru’s henchmen?
She thanks a Minion.
Dirty Minion Jokes
A minion can serve any sort of person, however they are frequently represented as working for criminals or villains, which adds to the irony of minion jokes. Here are some of those dirty minion jokes for you.
Are you a banana?
Because I lose all my self-control like the minions when I see you.
Great minds thinks alike…
But dirty minds work together!
Muak muak muak… Muak muak muak… Muak muak muak… I can go on. I will never be tired of kissing you.
My husband asked me to whisper dirty things in his ear, so whispered:
“Kitchen, Bathroom, Living Room”
Underwear…you are the most beautiful Minion I have ever met.
Having a dirty mind makes ordinary conversations much more interesting.
You say I’m dirty minded… but how did you understand what I want?
I fart because it is the only Gas I can afford!!
If you fart loudly in public,
just yell, “Jet Power!” and start walking faster.
Dark Minion Jokes
Everyone likes minions, and you are definitely going to like these dark minion jokes as well. Distribute them and spread joy all around you.
I just saw myself in the mirror naked and I look like hell.
How about a nice compliment to lift my spirits? Your eyesight is perfect.
When constructing the Black Gate…
Minion: “Is this too big? Do we need less door?”
Sauron: “No, Mordor.”
I don’t like to think before I speak.
I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what comes out of my mouth.
Love me and I’ll move mountains to make you happy.
Hurt me and I’ll drop those mountains on your head
Warning! A virus called Monday is fast approaching.
There is no cure. Just drink plenty of alcohol on Sunday night to ease the pain!
First person to complain it’s too hot this summer
gets punched!!
Have you ever gone out of your way to help someone?
and then find out how ungrateful they really are?
Minion Jokes for Adults
Because the minion characters are so silly, the minion jokes are hilarious too. They constantly make jokes to and about one other and occasionally pull pranks; their conduct is funny and keeps people of all ages laughing. Here are some of the minion jokes for adults.
Dear Easter bunny, this year could you please fill my eggs with health and happiness and deliver them to everyone that I love. Thank you.
The language that Minion’s speak
is called Minionese.
Why was the minion so scared at the movie theater?
The movie he saw was too Gru-some.
Why did the minion quit his job?
The hours were too Gru-eling.
What do minions call their grandmothers?
Ba-Nanas.
Why do Minions take their bananas to the hairdressers?
Because they get split ends.
What’s Bob’s favorite Tom Cruise movie?
Minion Impossible.
So, what better way to celebrate a decade of daft jokes
Minions madness
How do minions save money?
They use Gru-Pon.
Wouldn’t it be so great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free… and three sizes smaller?
What did the police officer say when they met up with Bob, Stuart, and Kevin?
Yellow, yellow, yellow.
Stop editing your pics. What if you go missing? How can we find you if you look like beyonce on Facebook, and Chewbacca in person?
What classic novel do minions like to read?
Little Minions.
What’s a minion’s second favorite song?
“Yellow Submarine” by The Beatles.
My therapist told me: the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M & Ms and a chocolate cake I feel better already.
What car do minions like to drive?
SubaGru.
Why do minions like bananas so much?
They find them a-peeling.
Minion Jokes for Kids
Minion jokes for kids can keep your kids entertained! Everyone, especially children, adores Minions. These jokes will undoubtedly make them laugh!
What do Minions say when they pick up the telephone?
Yellow.
Where does Gru take Kyle to get his fur trimmed?
The Gru-mers.
What do minions exceed at school?
Gru-p projects.
What can you call a small onion?
A Mini-on!
What do Minion ghosts eat?
Boo-nanas.
What’s a minion’s favorite song?
“Mellow Yellow” by Donovan.
What type of schools do minions like best?
Banana sundae schools.
What did the minions give Gru two banana skins for his birthday?
Because he wanted a pair of slippers.
What type of bread of Minions like best?
Gru-ten free.
What do you call a steak made of little yellow guys?
A filet minion
What’s another word for a minion?
A Gru-pie.
What did the Russian government do when they needed to replace their spies?
They Gru new ones.
What is the best thing to do if you come across a blue banana?
Try to cheer it up with a minion.
What do you get if you cross a pug minion with Gru from Despicable Me?
A group hug.
All of the Minions have English-style male names,
such as Kevin, Stuart, Bob, Tim, Carl and Jerry.
What meal would a minion never order in a restaurant?
Liver and minions.
Did you not like Despicable Me at first?
Maybe it Gru on you with time.
I’ve done some terrible things for money.
Like getting up early to go to work on a minion day.
Where do minions love to shop?
Banana Republic.
Why couldn’t the minion yell high?
Because he could only yell low.
What happened to the minions between Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2?
They Gru up.
Minion Jokes on Life
Cute minion jokes on life have been produced about the way they converse and the way they use their particular language. These yellow minion creatures are not human, but rather child-sized and pill-shaped, but they walk and move their hands in the same way that humans do.
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
It’s ok to talk to yourself, it’s even ok to answer yourself…
But when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said – you have a problem!
Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kissing it, kicking it busting it, trying to get a piece of it behaving like one… Or, you live with one!!!
Don’t worry about getting older.
You still get to do stupid things, only slower.
Take life day by day and be grateful for all little things.
Don’t get stressed over what you can’t control.
When life knocks you down…
Calmly get back up and very politely say, “You hit like a bitch”
Some people create their own storms,
then get upset when it rains.
A raindrop landing on your cheek is a kiss
from someone that lives in heaven and is watching over you.
There’s a certain age where you can no longer use the term:
“Good girl gone bad”.
it’s more like:
“Her old a** should know better”.
Minion Jokes on Friends
These little yellow creatures are certainly adorable, especially when they speak nonsense, and once you see them, you’ll never be able to take your eyes off them. They are also quite friendly. Go through these minion jokes on friends, have some fun and be cheered up.
Good friends help you to find important things when you have lost them… your smile, your hope, and your courage.
If a friendship lasts longer than 7 years.
Then you are no longer just friends. You are family.
A good friend would offer you an umbrella in the rain,
A best friend would steel yours and say “run bitch, run.”
I don’t have a big group of friends,
but I do have 3 or 4 people who probably don’t want me to die.
Friends knock on your door.
Best friends walk into your house and start eating.
Friends: Can I come over?
Real friends: I’m coming over.
My diet plan: Make all of my friend’s cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look!
Our phones fall, we panic.
Our friends fall, we laugh.
If I died, I want my friends to keep updating my status to freak people out.
Hurt me and you’re going to feel pain.
Hurt my best friend and you’re going to need an ambulance.
Hurt my family… I’m going to need a shovel.
Best friend: You laugh, I laugh.
You cry, I cry.
You fall, I laugh then I fall too because I was laughing so hard.
Best friends’ logic:
I insult you because I love you.
Sometimes, being silly with a friend is the best therapy!
She’s my best friend.
Of course I’m going to tell her everything you just said.
Best Friends: They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.
Never let your friends feel lonely!
Disturb them at all time.
Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking.
“If anyone heard us right now, we’d be put into a mental hospital.”
We are best friends.
Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up…
After I finishing laughing…
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean,
But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
A good friend calls you in jail.
A great friend bails you out of jail.
Your best friend sits next to you and says ‘wasn’t that fun?
Minion Jokes in English
Need some minion jokes in English to help you through the day? Explore our entertaining selection of minion jokes below and share them with your friends to have some fun.
I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, & the wall gets in the way….
So … you came for the queen’s crown, did ya? Well, you’re gonna have to get through me! The keeper of her crown!
Day 7 of social distancing: Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.
Villains, this is no longer a coronation! It is an execution! Get them!
We were born with flippers! … No? Just me? Okay.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.
No no no no, Kevin, let me do it, let me do it, spita.
So that’s your plan? Make yourself a bigger target?
Warning: Bitch switch has been activated. Please step away from my perimeter!
Herb, seriously, I want to dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it!
This is torture! Guys, cut it out! This is really unprofessional!
The best feeling is waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have hours to sleep.
Sometimes you just have to close your eyes. Count to ten. Take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you wouldn’t look good in prison stripes and just smile at the dumbass and walk away.
I’m going to get all my favorite villains to sign my magazine! Scarlet Overkill! If I was a minion, that’s who I would want to work for.
I’ve taken up photography because it’s the only hobby where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail.
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices…
I’m confused!
Some people are just like trees.
They take forever to grow up.
I’m thankful my childhood was filed with bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many likes you get on a picture.
I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
You think it’s funny to mock the elderly, do ya?
Final Thoughts on Minion Jokes
Minions are a new thing on the internet, and minion jokes are bound to appear no matter what the topic is. On the surface, minions are charming, and their actions are amusing.
Minions have a unique place in our hearts due to their adorable nature. Are you a fan of these adorable and amusing minions? These tiny critters are hilarious in every way. They never cease to amaze and amuse us.
These funny minion jokes are sure to make people laugh out loud. Minions are a terrific theme for jokes since their very nature and existence is a comedy in and of themselves.
The Minions movies have grown in popularity, and the minions funny memes that kids share are amusing and simple, and they are rising in popularity alongside the movies.
So, if you want to make your pals laugh, try sharing these minion jokes with them. They’ll adore these.
