150 Hilarious Lunch Jokes for All Foodies
Which of these lunch jokes tickles your funny bone the most? Lol-worthy lunch jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh!
It can be hard to get your kids up in the morning when they are at home. It may seem ideal to include a personalized note in every lunch box you pack, but sometimes it isn’t feasible. But no need to be worried.
You’ll find a great collection of funny, silly, and hilarious lunch jokesfor people of all ages, kids, teens, and adults who just don’t want to grow up.
You’ll hear kids laughing out loud when they hear these jokes about lunch! LoL! So, let’s get started!
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Table of Contents
Best Lunch Jokes
You can enjoy these simple but classic jokes about lunchtime at the party by sharing them with your friends. Take a closer look at this collection of the best lunch jokes!
What did Santa’s mom pack in his school lunch?
Ho ho homemade cookies!
What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?
I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel.
What did the mummy have for lunch?
A wrap.
What do bakers play at their lunch break?
Tic Tac Dough!
What do frogs eat for lunch in France?
French flies!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers.
What do you get when you leave your lunch in your lunchbox for a few days?
A peanut butter and smelly sandwich!
What is a golfer’s favorite lunch?
A ham sand-wedge.
When do astronauts eat?
At launch time.
Where did Mario buy his lunch?
Mario Mart.
Where do cows go for lunch?
The calf-eteria.
Who has friends for lunch?
A cannibal.
Why did the kid eat a dollar bill?
Because it was his lunch money.
Why didn’t the moon eat all its lunch?
Because it was full.
Why wouldn’t the oysters share their lunch?
They were 2 shellfish!
Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an “A” in lunch.
Funny Lunch Jokes
I would like to share some very funny lunch jokes with you! You don’t have to worry, they aren’t cheesy! I know it’s challenging to laugh at a serious person but try these jokes!
3 construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building having their lunch break.
The first guy says “If I get a vegemite sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge.”
The second guys says “If get a peanut butter sandwich again I am going to jump off this bridge”.
The third guy says if I get another strawberry jam sandwich then I am going to jump off this bridge.”
The next day the first guy gets a vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All 3 guys jump of the bridge and die.
The next day at their funerals the first wife says “If he just told me I would have given him a different sandwich.” The second guys wife says “It is all my fault. If only I knew.” The third wife says “I don’t get it, he makes his own lunch.”
Little johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it and it said take 1 god is watching. He continues walking and sees a bowl of cookies that said take 1 please so little johnny made his own note and he wrote take as many cookies as you want god is watching the apples
What did the plate say to the other plate??
Lunch is on me.
Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, “No”.
Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?”
His mom replies, “I don’t want to hear what you think! Just go to school.”
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”
She replies, “No.”
Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?”
His mom replies, “Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.”
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”
His mom says “No.”
He asks, “Do you know what I think?”
His Mom replies, “Ok, do tell me what you think?”
He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”
I’m having lunch on the roof of twin towers and the biggest plane I’ve ever seen is flying towa.
What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and quackers.
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals I hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal “Does this taste funny to you?
What 2 things can you never have for breakfast??
Lunch and Dinner!!!
My “choco” is too “late” for lunch.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the reciepe?
In a detective novel.
A kid named billy get his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money and his wallet taken by his father. The father then gets all the money taken from his by the bully’s grandfather along with is own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by billy along with his own wallet.
What do you call it when you’re trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good but he says that he doesn’t taste anything.
Hilarious Lunch Jokes
Is there anyone who doesn’t enjoy a good joke? The following list includes some hilarious lunch jokes for you to enjoy!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate cause it’s lunch time the guys ask the man to do a favor and he says sorry guys I have a lot on my plate!
What time is it?
It’s time for lunch.
Hi how are you busy busy today and tomorrow I have to go home from home and walk home walk and a bike walk walk and a bike to school tomorrow night I have to have lunch with my mom and dad and I have dinner with you tonight.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might DRUM up and appetite.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch!!!”
My “overweight” friend and me were talking at lunch.
Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?
Me: (annoyed) Jason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for your weight not your phone number.
What is Stephen hawking favorite lunch-eggs and shoulders.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box but they don’t know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking!
I wanted to save him but a local stopped me. “that’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.”
True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body!
Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn’t have a girlfriend because he didn’t sit with yanely and jasmine at lunch.
What does Stephen hawking eat for his breakfast lunch and dinner?
His shoulder.
A guy cut me in the lunch line, after that a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
Lunch Jokes One Liners
There’s nothing better than a well-placed one-liner to get a good laugh, and during tough times, we could all use a bit of laughter. Take a look at these hilarious lunch jokes one liners.
Bacon, bacon, oh, I love me some bacon! It’s the secret ingredient to all my favorite recipes. I also could have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
I ate a bad vegetarian kebab for lunch.
Now I falafel.
Why did two fours skip lunch they already 8.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn’t carrort-all.
What can’t you have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
What did one computer say to the other at lunchtime?
Let’s grab a byte to eat!
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Lunch is on me!
Clean Lunch Jokes
Here are some clean lunch jokesyou can share with anyone, anywhere, and anytime without fear of unintentionally insulting someone. I hope you enjoy this collection as much as we do!
Santa and Banta went out to dine and ordered 2 drinks. They then took their sandwiches from their lunch boxes and started to eat.
Seeing this, the waiter told them, “Sorry, but you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
Santa and Banta looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and exchanged their sandwiches.
Mom: hey hun need some money for lunch at school?
Son: no, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: mom’s wallot is magic.
So the Devil decided to go to McDonald’s and grab some lunch.
What does he get?
A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard
But it’s a hearty meal.
Why did a minister who is a christain nationalist and a bisexual man give an anonymous blowjobs to a physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men’s restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area but he wanted a sample first (taster).
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids table I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled. “25 kill streak”.
Where do cows eat lunch???
In the calfeteria dumb butt.
Dirty Lunch Jokes
Laughing at dirty jokes is a sign of a healthy sense of humor and a willingness to laugh at yourself. That’s why I’ve designed some dirty lunch jokes for you that you can enjoy with your buddy!
A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets home it fucks all of his 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 hens. Next day it’s fucking the ducks and the geese too
Sadly, later in the day the farmer finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead and vultures circling over its head. Farmer yells , “You deserve it, you horny bastard!”
The cock slowly opens one eye, looks up at the sky and whispers , ” Shhhhhh, They’re about to land!!!”
Three retired old men are sitting down for lunch and comparing their lives
The first old man says that every morning he’s awake at 5 am and has to stand in front of the toilet for an hour just to urinate.
The second old man says that’s nothing compared to how constipated his medication makes him. And he has to sit on the toilet for at least an hour every morning.
Then the third old man says that, that’s nothing. And every morning around 8 am he has a big poop and a big pee. The other two old men say that, that doesn’t sound bad at all. Then question why he thinks it is.
Then the third old man blushes and said “It’s because I don’t wake up till 11 am….”
A mother of 100 children makes lunches for them for school.
She pulls out 5 bags of sliced bread and several spreads. She spreads butter on 12 of the bread slices, jam on 8 of them, peanut butter on 18, nutella on 12, more butter on 21 of them, nutella again on 6, jam on 3, and peanut butter on the rest of them. What did she spread the most?
Her legs!
Three construction workers, an Australian, a Finn and a Swede, are sitting on a beam on the tenth floor about to have their lunch.
The Australian opens his lunch box and says “Bloody hell – meat pies again! Every day it’s bloody meat pies! If I get meat pies again tomorrow, I’m going to jump!”
The Finn opens up his lunch next. “Saatana! Makkara (sausage) again! Always sausages! If I get sausage tomorrow, I’m gonna jump too!”
The Swede is the last to open up his lunch. “Ah crap – meatballs again! Why always meatballs? If I get meatballs tomorrow, I’m going to jump too!”
The next day the Aussie opens his lunch box and it’s a meat pie… He jumps to his death.
The Finn opens his lunch box and, yes, it’s a sausage. He too jumps to his death.
The Swede opens his lunch and sadly there’s a pile of meatballs, so he jumps too.
The three widows of the construction workers are talking at the funeral and the Aussie’s wife says “I don’t understand. I thought my husband loved meat pies! If he didn’t want them he should have said something!”
The Finnish widow says “Same here – I thought my husband wanted sausages! Why didn’t he say something?”
The Swede’s widow says, “I don’t get it… my husband made his own lunch.”
Two old lawyers who haven’t seen each other in years finally get together to have some lunch.
“Life is good,” one says, but lately I’ve noticed I’ve been getting pretty old. Like, I’ve been having a Freudian slip or two.”
“How do you mean?” says the other.
“Well for instance, last week I was at the train station and I was headed to Pittsburgh. And when I walked up to the counter there was this beautiful blond woman, and she had HUGE knockers. And as I held out my cash I said ‘Can I have two pickets to Tittsburgh?'”
“Oh my,” says the other lawyer, “That is embarrassing. But I know what you mean. The other day I was having breakfast with my wife of 43 years. And instead of saying ‘Honey, can you please pass the toast?’ I said “YOU BITCH! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!”
A young man goes to dinner at the GF’s house for the first time after having had beans for lunch.
As they’re sitting around the table, the father asks, while petting the family dog Rufus, what the young man’s intentions are for his daughter. The young man starts to reply that his intentions are honorable and that he intends to be respectful, but he realizes that he’s got a fart building, so he’s having trouble talking, but manages to mumble that he really likes her and would like the chance to get to know her.
As he finishes his statement he’s relieved to be able to have let out a little fart without making a sound but it stinks to high heaven and the father grumbles, “Rufus…”, as the dog settles under the table near his chair, so he figures this is a good thing, that they’ll just blame the dog.
As the mother asks him what he does for a living, he realizes that there’s more gas building and is thankful the dog is sitting next to him. As he tells the mom that he’s entry level management, he let out a little more than the last time and is met with the father delivering a sharper complaint of, “Rufus!”, and groans about the stench.
Feeling a bit more confident that the dog is going to take the blame, he decides to let out a huge amount more as he’s explaining his plans for climbing the corporate ladder and as he does so this time, there’s an audible squeak at the end and the father, finally having had enough, yells…
“Jesus Christ Rufus, get the fuck away from him before he shits on you!”
2 married ladies are having lunch in a coffee shop…
One lady whispers ‘I’m getting a boob job’
2nd lady: ‘That’s nothing, I’m getting my assh\*le bleached’
1st lady says: ‘Really? I can’t imagine your husband as a blonde’
Lunch Jokes for Adults
Find something funny that you can share with your adults. So, these amusing jokes with anyone, from your grandmother to your boss, thanks to this diverse collection of lunch jokes for adults.
The President invites the Pope to lunch on a boat. The Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the pontiff’s hat off, right into the water. It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place.
The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Biden waved them off, saying, “Never mind boys, I’ll get it.”
Then Joe climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.
The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope’s entourage were speechless. No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.
But that afternoon, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC reported:
“BIDEN CAN’T SWIM”
Keith Richards and Mick Jagger came over for lunch at my house.
Unfortunately I undercooked the chicken and everyone got sick.
I almost killed 2 Stones with 1 bird.
A young man watched as an elderly couple sat down to lunch at McDonald’s.
He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, etc, until each had exactly half. Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, but his wife just sat watching him. The young man felt sorry for them and asked “I’m sorry to intrude, but would you allow me to purchase another meal for your wife so that you don’t have to split your food?” The old gentleman said, “Oh, no, thank you. But you see, we’ve been married a long time, and everything has always been shared, 50/50.” The young man said, “Wow! That’s commendable.” He then turned to the wife and asked, “Aren’t you going to eat your share?” The wife replied “Not yet. It’s his turn to use the teeth.”
Whilst driving through Wales with my pal, we stopped off at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch for lunch.
I asked the waitress, “Could you settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very slowly?” The waitress replied, “Burr gerr King!”
Today this guy I know only ate an expired dessert for lunch
It was a little off pudding.
Little Johnny and his dad went upstairs one day to hang a picture frame while his mother made lunch
About twenty minutes after they went upstairs Johnny came downstairs crying. “What’s wrong?” His mother said.
“Daddy slipped and hit his thumb with the hammer!” Said Johnny. “Well…” Johnny’s mother started.
“Thats nothing to cry about, daddy will be alright. It’s actually kind of funny, I don’t know why you didn’t laugh when it happened.”
“I did!” Johnny said. “I did!”
The kid that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the other hand, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
What do nuclear plants serve their workers for lunch?
Fission Chips.
Politicians go visit a school
High ranking politicians visit a school. The top one goes over the expenses and decides to make adjustments to cut costs.
“The lunch portions are too big. Cut them in half. Internet connection too fast. Too many computers.”
After that, they go to a preschool. Again, the expenses are too great.
“The lunch portions are too big. Reduce them to half. Too many toys around.”
After the preschool, they go to a prison.
“The lunch portions are too small and the selection is too limited. Get faster broadband and more comfortable beds. TVs are too old. Get a few consoles as well.”
One of them asks the leader, baffled:
\- Are you mad? We just cut costs in schools and prechools, and now you do this?
\- My friend! We will never go to school or preschool again. But we can still easily end up here…
I work at a gaslight factory, i asked when lunch was.
They told me, “you already ate lunch”
A woman goes into a restaurant for her lunch break.
She sees a man sitting at a table, alone with his bowl of tomato soup. Politely she asks him: “Excuse me, sir, is this seat taken? Mind if I join you?” He answers: “No problem, ma’am. But I have to warn you, I’m a very messy eater!” She smiles and sits down, and says: “Then it was a good idea to wear a red shirt when eating tomato soup, wasn’t it?” He answers: “Nope, I’m NOT wearing a red shirt…”
I was having lunch a few minutes ago and I realized tofu is overrated.
It’s just a curd to me.
Lunch Jokes for Kids
Below, I included some of the bestlunch jokes for kids to laugh at and positive self-affirmations for their self-esteem. Have a look!
What’s a turkey’s favorite lunch meat?
Gobblegool
Jim is delivering a truckload of penguins to the zoo
His truck breaks down on the side of the highway and he has no clue what to do. Luckily a friendly fellow with another truck stopped and asked if the guy needed any help. Jim asks the man if he wouldn’t mind taking the penguins to the zoo for him, and he would give him $100.
“Sure” the friendly fellow replied.
Jim helped the man transfer the penguins to his truck and off they went. Jim got his truck towed to the shop, and went out to grab some lunch at the local diner. While waiting for his food he looks out the window to see the friendly fellow from earlier walking down the sidewalk, followed by the 100 penguins.
Jim runs out of the diner and up to the man and asks “Why didn’t you take these penguins to the zoo!?”
The friendly man chuckles and says “Well I did take them to the zoo, but I have a few dollars left over, so now I’m taking them to get ice cream.”
Two Karens are having lunch together
The waiter stops by and asks “Is anything okay?”
Four Jewish grandmothers sat down for lunch
Waiter checks in and asks “hey ladies, is anything alright?”
What smells the same at breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Your nose
What did the lunch lady say to Luke Skywalker?
*”Use the forks, Luke.”*
What did the whale eat for lunch?
Fish and Ships.
My boss came to me at lunch,
Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to find you all morning!”
I shrugged and said, “Good employees are hard to find!”
While eating lunch today, I found a single fusilli amongst my penne
You can say I spotted an impasta.
My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch….
So I say to her, “look Mum, my house, my prices!”
If someone asks you to make them lunch and you put kidneys and liver in a pita…
Did you just make them an organ donair?
I had Indian food for lunch and almost choked on it
Talk about a paneer-death experience
A woman goes into an art gallery and sees two still-life pictures. Both are of a table laid for lunch with a glass of wine, a basket of bread rolls and a plate of sliced ham. However, one picture is selling for $75 and the other for $100.
Curious, she goes to the gallery owner and asks him what the difference is between the two pictures. The owner points at the $100 painting and says, “You get more ham with that one.”
A man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn’t been feeling well lately.
The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, “Doc, exactly what is my problem?” The doctor replied, “You’re not drinking enough water.”
Did you hear about the funeral that took place before lunch?
Some would say it was in the mourning.
My dad and I were having donuts for lunch…
He said, “Enjoy the **HOLE** donut!”
Someone stole my jar of mayonnaise at lunch today
I was like, “What the Hellman?”
I accidentally ate a Pb&J for lunch today.
I ended up with lead poisoning.
If a combined breakfast and lunch is called brunch. What is combining your breakfast, lunch, and dinner called?
…being poor.
I stopped by my favorite noodle place on my lunch break, but the line to get in was out the door.
There was no way I’d be able to order and get back to work on time, it was a real pho queue.
What did Shakespeare eat for lunch?
Caesar salad.
Who eats Five Guys for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
Jeffrey Dahmer.
I remember sitting once in psychology class learning about Pavlov thinking “those stupid dogs”
And then the bell rang and we all had lunch.
Lunch Box Jokes
My heart broke last year when my kid asked me not to leave love notes and jokes in his lunch box. I totally understand how embarrassing it is. Let’s explore lunch box jokes!
What stays hot in the fridge?
A hot dog!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crumby.
What happens when you make an egg laugh?
It cracks up.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
Why did the bacon laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yoke.
What does an injured lemon need to feel better?
Lemon-aid.
What color is a burp?
Burple.
What type of socks do pirates wear?
Arrrrrrrrgyle.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 7 ate 9.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What do you call a train that sneezes?
Achoo choo train.
Why did the golfer pack an extra pair of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Rrrrrrrr!
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelly – copter!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa – baa shop.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investogator.
What did the buffalo say when his son left to go to school?
Bison.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the moooovies.
What is a rabbit’s favorite kind of music?
Hip Hop.
What do you call a sleeping T-Rex?
A dinosnore!
What did one eye say to the other eye?
Something smells between us.
Why did the cows cross the road?
To get to the moo-vies.
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the street?
Because it ran out of juice.
What position do ghosts play soccer in?
Ghoulie.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs.
What do piglets do after school?
Their ham-work.
What can you serve but never eat?
A tennis ball.
What did the water say to the wave?
Nothing, it just waved.
Why was Yoda such a good gardener?
He had a green thumb.
Why is the math book so sad?
Because it has a lot of problems.
What do you say to a fancy cactus?
You look sharp.
Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck.
Why did the bird go to the doctor?
For a tweet-ment.
Why is the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?
Her students are very bright.
What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A mushroom.
Who is the king of all school supplies?
The ruler.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.
How do baseball players stay cool?
By standing close to the fans.
How many months of the year have 28 days?
All of them! Every month has 28 days or more.
What belongs to you but your family and friends use it more than you?
Your name.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
It was feeling crumby.
Final Thoughts on Lunch Jokes
It is amazing how some jokes about lunchare based on truth, and there are others that will make everyone laugh.
All of these lunch jokes and puns are intended to be funny, but some can be offensive. In the event that jokes go too far, are mean, or are racist, we try to silence them, and we would appreciate your feedback if such any joke becomes bullying or inappropriate.
Would you like to share with us your favorite lunch joke? We’ll be waiting for your comment.
