163 Hilarious Fish Jokes Kids Will Surely Love

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” This famous quote by Milton Berle frames the power of humor to transport us to a world of joy and high spirits.

In our quest to bring smiles to young faces, we have compiled the best fish jokes that are sure to tickle the funny bones of kids.

From clever puns to silly one-liners, these jokes about fish will have children giggling with delight.

So, get ready for all the jokes about fish and for the ocean of laughter as we dive into the wonderful world of fish-themed humor.

Best Fish Jokes

The very best fish jokes are presented to you! Come, throw your worries aside, and jump into high-level entertainment.

What did the goldfish say when he got his house cleaned?
Tank poo.

Did you hear about the fish that went to the gym?
He pulled a muscle.

Did you hear about the fight in that restaurant?
Four fish were battered!

Which fish go to heaven?
Angelfish.

Where do sick fish go?
To see a sturgeon.

Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?
Because it looked too fishy.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish?
One is a scum-sucking scavenger; the other is just a fish.

If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called?
Starfish.

How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
They listen to the current news.

Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup?
Because it will see her through the week.

How do you tuna fish?
Adjust their scales.

How do you keep a fish from smelling?
Chop of its nose.

Why did the teenage fish get told off in school?
Because he was talking on his shell phone.

Why did the fish get detention?
Because he was being too shellfish.

What did the fish say to his girlfriend?
Your plaice or mine?

What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
I’m outta this plaice!

Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
He was lost at C.

What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
A loan shark.

What does a fish wear to keep warm?
A shoal!

Funny Fish Jokes

Our funny fish jokes will surely make your kids chuckle! Brace yourself as we are bringing you a hilarious underwater adventure.

Why did batman stop taking Robin fishing?
He kept eating all the worms.

Why did Noah not bother fishing when he was on his arc?
Because he only had 2 worms to use as bait.

Where do fish keep their money?
In the riverbank.

How do religious fish always start off their prayers?
Dear cod.

What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Damn.

What do you get if you cross fishing tackle with an old smelly sock?
Hook, line and stinker.

What did the man say when everyone was getting annoyed at his fish puns?
“I really should scale back.”

How many tickles will it takes to make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.

What is the best music to listen to when you go fishing?
Something really catchy.

Did you hear about the lobster that got a job at pizza hut?
He works at the crust station.

What did the pirate fish make the prisoner fish do?
Walk the plankton.

What is the easiest way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it to you.

Did you hear about the brawl at the fish and chip shop?
Many fish were apparently battered!

It is a known fact that the swordfish is the best dressed animal in the ocean.
He always dresses sharp.

Why did the dog jump from the boat into the ocean?
He thought he saw a catfish.

Did you see the new film about fishing?
It has quite the cast.

What is Jaws favorite meal?
Fish n Ships.

What is the best way to catch a fish on the internet?
Click bait.

Hilarious Fish Jokes

If you’re in search of jokes then buckle up to embark on a laughter-filled journey that will have kids rolling on the floor with glee.

Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.

Where do goldfish love to travel?
Usually just around the globe.

Why don’t fish like playing basketball?
They are terrified of nets.

Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.

Where do you find a fish in orbit?
Trouter space.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

Which country do fish like to go for a vacation?
Finland.

What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna piano.

What kind of music do fish love to rave to?
Drum and bass.

Why do fish always know how much they weigh?
They have their own built in set of scales.

What did the fish say to his friend who was acting extremely shy?
Stop being so koi.

Where are most fish found?
Between head and tail.

Which musical instruments can catch fish?
Castanets!

What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks.

Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!

What do you call a fish that is not smart?
A dumb bass.

What did the fish 🐟 get on his math test?
A sea plus. I’m sorry for all the fish puns.

How do you make a goldfish old?
You take away the “g.”

Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!

Knock Knock Fish Jokes

Time for some knock-knock fish jokes! Open the door to a world of aquatic fun as we bring you a selection of knock-knock jokes that will have kids hooked.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Bless you!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Fish-ious temper you have there, you need to calm down!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Artie Fish.
Artie Fish who?
Artie Fish-el Intelligence.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Fish you a Merry Christmas, we fish you a Merry Christmas!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
9 fish.
9 Fish who?
Nice catch!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bait.
Bait who?
Bait your hook and let’s go fishing!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Carp.
Carp who?
Carpe diem! Let’s go fishing!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Aah Fish!
Aah Fish who?
Aah fish me a story while we wait for the fish to bite!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Isaac.
Isaac who?
Isaac catchment area, let me in so I can fish for laughs!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Anny fishin’ today?

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Just in time for some unique fishing rod-referring!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Trout
Trout who?
Trout here if you don’t like fish jokes!

Fish Jokes One Liners

Sometimes, the shortest jokes are the funniest. Come and jump into the world of thrill and quick-witted humor of fish one-liners.

I have always admired fishermen. They are reel men.

So I started this new underwater band-project. I hope you guys like aquarelle.

There was a sale today at the fish market. I went to see what the catch was.

There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant. One fish got battered!

The only thing I can take seriously in the newspapers nowadays is fish and chips and even that I take with a pinch of salt.

I’m sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.

Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says “Dam!”

Game warden: Didn’t you see the no-fishing sign, son? Boy: I’m not fishing, sir. I’m teaching these worms how to swim.

2 fish are in a tank, one says to the other one “I’ll drive, you can shoot the guns”

I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day until one day when I pulled a muscle.

Clean Fish Jokes

We believe that laughter should always be clean and wholesome. That’s why we’ve organized a collection of clean fish jokes that are suitable for all ages.

Why did the shark eat a jellyfish?
To pair with its peanut butter sandwich.

How did the seahorse move so quickly?
He scalloped (galloped).

Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!

How did the fish find the World Wide Web?
On the Net.

Why is fishing such a good business?
It has net profits.

How do fish go into business?
They start on a small scale.

Have you ever met a shy fish?
They are very koi.

Where do fish sleep?
In water beds.

What do sardines call submarines?
Cans full of people.

Did you hear about the goldfish who went bankrupt?
Now he’s a bronze fish.

How do you talk to a fish?
You drop it a line.

How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you!

What is the most envious fish?
The jelly-fish.

What fish sounds the most like a harp?
A carp.

What kind of fish belongs in a circus?
A clownfish.

Dirty Fish Jokes

For those seeking a bit of edgy humor, we present a selection of dirty fish jokes. These jokes are harsh and are intended for adult audiences.

After years of research and experimentations, a Generic Engineering Biologist was able to make a perfectly healthy Hybrid between a Fish and Duck.
The only problem left to be solved now for him is:

Whether to name it a Dish or a Fuck?

A father took his son fishing.
As he was preparing the fishing rods, his son tells him:
Dad, i want to take a shit.
Son, we’re in the great outdoors, you can take a shit anywhere!
The son left and came back a while later.
Where did you shit?
In the car, there are no mosquitos there.

How to determine sex of aquarium fish?
Easy. Give it some food. If he eats it, then it’s a male, if she eats it, then it’s a female.

I walked into a fish & chip shop
And ordered fish and chips. The guy served me and I said “that fish isn’t cooked properly”!
He said “what makes you say that’?
I said” well….. It looks like its eaten half of my fucking chips”

Two guys are fishing
What’s wrong with you? You haven’t talked all day.

It’s my wife, she won’t have sex with me because she has gonorrhea.
What about anal sex?
I can’t, she has diarrhea.
Can she give you head?
No, she has pyorrhea.

Well if she has all these problems so why the hell are you married to her?
Because I like to go fishing and she has worms.

What’s the difference between a piano and a fish?
I ain’t never seen anyone get their dick sucked by a piano.

What’s in the middle of a jelly fish?
His jelly button

Fish Jokes for Adults

Even adults can enjoy a good fish joke now and then. Get ready for some witty banter and humorous tales from the underwater world.

Why did the fish go to the therapist?
It was feeling a little bit fin-ancially unstable.

How does a fish become a lawyer?
It takes a school of hard Knox.

What do you call a fish that works in the stock market?
A Wall Street Sole.

Why don’t fish like to play video games?
They always get hooked.

How does a fish start a rock band?
By forming a school of rock.

Why did the fish go to the gym?
To get in shape and build some scales.

What do you call a fish that’s really good at public speaking?
A salmon-tator.

How does a fish get a good night’s sleep?
By counting eel-s.

Why did the fish go to the doctor?
It had a case of the blues.

What do you call a fish that’s really good at math?
A calculu-scad.

How does a fish stay organized?
By using a scales-endar.

Why did the fish go to the bar?
To catch up with old school-mates.

What do you call a fish that’s really good at playing the guitar?
A bass-ist.

How does a fish get a job in the tech industry?
By coding in a school of HTML.

Why did the fish go to the beach?
To catch some waves and rays.

What do you call a fish that’s really good at playing chess?
A pike-sman

how does a fish order a drink?
With a school-tail.

Why did the fish go to the party?
To make a splash on the dance floor

what do you call a fish that’s really good at solving puzzles?
A hand-dock.

How does a fish stay in touch with friends?
By using a school-book.

Fish Jokes for Kids

Kids have an innate love for laughter, and our fish jokes for kids are tailor-made to bring smiles to their faces. Share laughs and make memories!

What did the shark say after eating a clownfish?
That tasted a little bit funny!

Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fish.

Why are fish so easy to weigh?
Because they have their own scales.

Where do fish go to borrow money?
A loan-shark.

What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.

What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you’ll never get caught!

What do you call a fish with lots of money?
A goldfish.

Why don’t fish like basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!

How did the mollusk get into college?
On a scallop ship.

What kind of guitar do fish play?
Bass.

Where do women fish keep their money?
In their octopurse.

What do you get if you cross a pastor with a guppies?
Monkfish!

What do you call a crayfish with a messy room?
A lobster.

what do fish use for money?
A: Sand dollars!

How did the guppies get to the hospital?
In a clam balance.

Fish Jokes and Puns

Hey there! Are you prepared for an adventure? We have come up with a series of fish jokes and puns. Get ready to explore it. Have fun!

I love fish puns! You could say I’m hooked.

You don’t have to be a brain sturgeon to come up with a fish pun.

Just like the tuna fish sandwich said, I’ve got a reeling we’re not in cans anymore.

Sure, but fishing for compliments is never becoming.

Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?

Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.

Fish you were here.

My dad was a fisherman, but he quit because his net income wasn’t enough.

Fish better have my money!

Best fishes on your anniversary!

That fish is so classy and so-fish-dictated.

Call me a pacifists, but I don’t believe in war.

When jellyfish act catty, it’s only because they’re jelly.

You should try to use a different type of bait. It may just be more e-fish-client.

I have haddock with all of these fish puns!

We will have to keep this fish in for observation.

That fish is rich and famous, but she’s still Jenny from the haddock.

Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get rebuffed.

When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.

The thing about calamari is you can never tell when it’s just squid ding.

You’re blushing like a catfish that’s just seen the bottom of the ocean.

When a fish meets the love of their life, they say they’ve “met the gill of my dreams”.

When another fish tries to make you think you’re crazy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, fish jokes and jokes about fish have a special ability to bring joy and laughter to kids of all ages.

We hope that our collection of hilarious fish jokes has sparked endless giggles and enlightened your day.

Laughter is contagious, so feel free to share these jokes about fish with your friends, family, and little ones. We would love to hear!

Share your thoughts and jokes in the comments section below. Indeed, a good fish joke is a fin-tastic way to create unforgettable moments and spread happiness!