154 Hilarious Did You Hear about Jokes to Make You Laugh

“Laughter is the best medicine,” as the famous saying goes, and what better way to induce laughter than with a collection of hilarious “did you hear about jokes”.

We have jokes that will make you laugh hard!

As humor reduces stress, improves mood, and fosters social connections, no wonder that jokes have been a staple of human culture for centuries.

So, get ready to chuckle, giggle, and laugh out loud with the best, funniest, and most hilarious “did you hear about jokes”!

Best Did You Hear about Jokes

Are you ready for a laughter-filled experience with our best “Did you hear about jokes”. Get ready for a memorable that will leave you in fits of laughter!

Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber?
He had locomotives.

Did you hear about Prince?
Well I mean the artist formerly known as Prince.

Did you hear about the chronic masturbator that was slightly under the weather?
He’s not feeling himself today.

The French Revolution was pretty rough. Did you hear about what happened to Louis XVI’s head?
[Removed]

Did you hear about the crematorium employee who took a nap on a gurney during his break?
He got fired for sleeping on the job.

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Did you hear about the guy who’s been pickpocketing midget charity workers?
How could someone stoop so low?

Did you hear about those new corduroy pillowcases?
I’m surprised if you haven’t, they’re making lots of headlines.

Did you hear about the communist sniper?
He was an incredible marxman.

Did you hear about the Anorexic Jedi?
She had to be force fed.

Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train thief?
He had loco motives.

Did you hear about the dyslexic KKK member?
He went around killing gingers.

Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia?
He sold his soul to Santa.

Did you hear about the agnostic scientist who had twins?
She had one of them baptised, the other one is the control.

Did you hear about the chemist that froze himself to absolute zero?
He’s 0K now.

Did you hear about the photographer who ran out of subjects?
He shot himself.

Did you hear about the guy who couldn’t pay for his exorcism?
He got repossessed.

Did you hear about the stolen Tesla?
I guess now it’s an Edison.

Did you hear about the new Swastika Fidget spinners?
They really help you concentrate!

Did you hear about the bombing at the garment factory?
Apparently there were over 100 casual tees.

Funny Did You Hear about Jokes

Are you looking for some light-hearted humor to brighten your day? Our compilation of funny “Did you hear about jokes” are designed to have you chuckling in no time!

Did you hear about the six year old that got eaten by a lion?
He was ate before he was seven.

Did you hear about the soldier who lost one foot in a battle, and fought on, only to lose his other foot as well?
He was finally de-feeted.

Did you hear about what happened to the guy from the keyboard factory?
He was fired for not putting in enough Shifts.

Did you hear about the company that made yard sticks?
Turns out, they’re not making them any longer.

Did you hear what happened at the world’s shortest game of tag?
It was touch and go for a second.

Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?
I think it’s total non scents.

Did you hear about the new pen that can write underwater?
It can write other words too.

Did you hear that police have arrested the world tongue-twister champion?
I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.

Did you hear about the drummer who gave all his daughters the same name?
Anna 1
Anna 2 Anna 3
Anna 4.

Did you hear about McDonald’s trying to get into the high end steakhouse market?
It was a Big Mcsteak.

Did you hear about the math teacher who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Did you hear about the guy who was shot with a starter pistol?
Police think it is race-related.

Did you hear about the mime that hung himself at the Trump rally?
He’s fine — fake noose.

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
He would stop at nothing to avoid them.

Did you hear about what happened to the really offensive joke about cows?
[remooved]

Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

Did you hear about the man who cooled to absolute zero?
He is 0K now.

Did you hear about the vegan transgender?
He was a herbefore.

Hilarious Did You Hear about Jokes

Hey there! Our jokes are sure to keep you entertained. So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh your heart out with these hilarious “Did you hear about jokes!”

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking about retiring?
He decided he’d stick it out one more year.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France?
There was de-brie everywhere.

Did you hear about this Indian who wanted to make and sell sandwiches?
He opened a New Delhi.

Did you hear about the non-binary gold prospector?
They dug up a fortune in them/their hills.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
The food was good, but it had no atmosphere.

Did you hear about the new frog movie?
I hear it’s ribbiting.

Did you hear about the cannibal who made a belt out of a man’s intestines?
What a waist of food.

Did you hear about the crow that was organising a party for all his crow friends?
He was arrested for attempted murder.

Did you hear about they guy who forgot to take his homeopathic medicine?
He OD’d.

Did you hear about the team of mutant trans-women super-heroes?
They’re called “The Ex-Men”.

Did you hear about the man who assaulted someone with a woodwind instrument?
He’s a registered Sax offender.

Did you hear about the Mucinex truck that collided with a Nyquil truck on the highway?
Amazingly, the entire area was congestion-free for over 8 hours.

Did you hear about the perfume factory that went bankrupt?
It just stopped making scents/sense/cents.

Did you hear about the priest who gave his congregation noodles instead of wafers for communion?
He was a Ramen Catholic.

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea??
It’s all over town.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Did you hear about the blind carpenter?
He picked up the hammer and saw.

Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?
It suffered from withdrawals.

Did you hear that Ireland is going to begin broadcasting their own version of “Southpark”?
It’s going to be set in Kilkenny.

Did you hear about the man brought in by the Fashion Police?
They questioned him over his criminal ties.

Did you hear about the town that legalised pot but banned alcohol?
The residents were left high and dry.

Did you hear about the A who went to the bathroom and came out E?
He had a vowel movement.

Did you hear that the Pope has the avian bird flu?
He got it from one of the cardinals.

Did you hear about the new bikini documentary?
It’s a two part series that’s quite revealing.

Did you hear about the guy who evaporated?
He’ll be mist.

Did you hear about the coin shortage?
Apparently, America is literally out of common cents.

Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.

Did you hear about the bingo caller who had a tumor?
Luckily, the tumor was B-9.

Did you hear how the named Canada?
Someone was pulling letters out of a hat…
“C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?

Did you hear about the anti-masker who went scuba diving?
They drowned.

Did you hear about the cop who fell and broke his radio?
He couldn’t get backup.

Did you hear about the tomb they discovered in Egypt?
It was filled with hazelnuts and chocolate.
They believe it belonged to Pharaoh Rocher.

Did you hear the dad joke about the peaches?
It was pittiful.

Did you hear the joke about butter?
Well, I’m not going to spread it.

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for carrying a gun made out of Jello?
He was charged with carrying a congealed weapon.

Did you hear about the guy who’s left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.

Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?
He only eats Brians.

Did you hear that Coke and Pepsi are coming together to make a drink?
It’s gonna be a cola-boration.

Did You Hear about Jokes One Liners

Welcome to our collection of “Did you hear about jokes” one-liners perfect for a quick laugh or a witty remark.

Did you hear about the guy who couldn’t stop pouring maple syrup on his bike?
Apparently he’s stuck in a viscous cycle.

Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
It was just a stage he was going through.

Dad : Did you hear about the kidnapping at school ?
Son : No, what happened ?
Dad : It is ok he woke up.

Did you hear about the soldier that got pepper sprayed?
He’s a seasoned veteran now.

Did you hear about the lumberjack who got fired for cutting down too many trees ?
He saw too much.

Did you hear about the Doctor who kept yelling at his clients?
He lost his patients.

Did you hear about the country with the fastest growing capital?
It’s Ireland – every day it’s Dublin.

Did you hear about Steve Harvey’s new job?
Hawaii Emergency Management Agency.

Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory?
Da brie was everywhere.

Did you hear about the pirate themed phone Apple have been designing?
They’re gonna call it the ayePhone.

Did you hear about the pencil that got an injury in jail?
It broke mid-sentence.

Did you hear about the time Helen Keller fell down a well?
Neither did she.

Did you hear about two guys stole a calendar?
They each got 6 months.

Did you hear about the haunted health food store?
Everything is super-natural.

Did you hear about the midget that got pick pocketed?
I can’t believe someone could stoop so low.

Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman?
She was Schwepped off her feet.

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry?
She had a filthy habit.

Did you hear about the lady that got fired from the sperm bank?
Drinking on the job.

Clean Did You Hear about Jokes

Are you hunting for family-friendly humor that everyone can enjoy? Our clean “Did you hear about jokes” provides wholesome laughter!

Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.

Did you hear about the guy who robbed a liquor store?
I hear he got off scotch free.

Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.

Did you hear about the frog that parked illegally?
Don’t worry, it got toad.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the door knocker?
He won the no-bell prize.

Did you hear about the French general who stepped on a landmine?
Napoleon Blown Apart.

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much.
There’s nutelling what can happen next…
His legacy will become a pizza history.
Here today, gone tomato.
I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm.
How sad that he ran out of thyme.
Ashes to ashes, crust to crust.
There’s just not mushroom left for Italian chefs in this world…
Sending olive my prayers to his family.
His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it…
You never sausage a tragic thing.
It’s such a shame good people die fusilli reasons.
It was a farfalle from grace…
My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeast

Did you hear about the guy addicted to drinking brake fluid?
He claims he can stop whenever he wants.

Did you hear about the family who died of random head injuries?
I grew up just a stone’s throw away from where they lived.
Crazy.

Did you hear about the train robbery down in Mexico?
They said the robber had a loco-motive.

Did you hear the score between the ocean and the beach?
It’s tide.

Did you hear the population in Ireland’s capital is growing?
In fact it’s Dublin.

Holy Cow! Did you hear about the fight between 2019 and 2020?
2021.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It’s okay, he woke up.

Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was on a flight?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne.

Did you hear about the man going around painting people’s houses illegally?
They caught him red handed.

Did you hear about the two mummies who farted at the same time?
They had a toot in common.

Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie.

Did you hear about the lobster that got the job at Pizza Hut?
He works in the crust station.

Dirty Did You Hear about Jokes

Do you want to check out naughty humor with our collection of dirty “Did you hear about jokes”? These adult-oriented jokes offer a humorous experience!

Did you hear about the sad life of a penis?
His whole family is nuts, his nextdoor neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him………

Did you hear about the guy with 5 penises?
His pants fit like a glove.

Did you hear about the scientist who attempted to clone himself for his own sexual pleasure?
He had done great strides towards his goal over the years. But after the most recent attempt, he finally topped himself.

Did you hear about the woman that was killed by a penis?
She never saw it coming.

Did you hear about the man who lost his entire left side in an accident?
He’s fucking dead… Oh wait nvm, he is all right.

Did you hear about the Amish prostitute?
She was sleeping with two Mennonite.

Did you hear about the two bald guys who put their heads together?
They made an ass out of themselves!

Did you hear about the prostitute who liked to haggle over her prices?
Customers are encouraged to dicker.

Did you hear about the ventriloquist who claimed that he could use a live donkey as a puppet?
Turns out he was just talking out of his ass.

Did you hear about the guy who masturbated into the ATM?
He came into some money.

Did You Hear about Jokes for Adults

Whoever needs mature humor, our “Did you hear about jokes” for adults is sure to hit the mark. These jokes explore suggestive and daring themes!

Did you hear about the satellites that got married?
The wedding wasn’t much, but the reception was incredible.

Did you hear about the inmate that stuttered?
He never finished his sentence.

Did you hear about the young genie who got a job and moved out of his parents’ lamp to a one bedroom necklace?
He was in-de-pendant.

Did you hear about the band named 1023MB?
They don’t have a gig yet.

Did you hear about the big Lego sale?
People were lined up for blocks.

Did you hear about the English teacher who went to jail?
She got a full sentence.

Did you hear about the guy who made nunchucks from Bruce Lee’s bones?
He got in a fight and was arrested for assault with a dead Lee weapon.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
He couldn’t control his pupils.

Did you hear about the ancient Peruvian who fainted?
He was Inca-pacitated.

Did you hear about the woman who beat her husband to death with his guitar collection?
At her arraignment the judge asked, “First offender?”
She replied, “No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender.”

Did you hear they arrested a T-Rex after he was hired on at the casino?
He turned out to be a small arms dealer.

Did you hear about the mute chicken?
It didn’t give a cluck. (Sorry about the fowl language).

Did you hear about the lion who ate his family?
He swallowed his pride.

Did you hear about the pants that just came back from the gym?
They were ripped.

Did you hear about the man who was shot by a starting gun?
They believe it was race related.

Did you hear about the race between the cabbage, the tomato, the gravy, and the egg?
At first the cabbage was a head, but then the tomato found it could easily ketchup. The gravy kept running, and the egg got beaten.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.

Did you hear about the Latino boy whose father works happily on a military vessel?
He has a feliz navy dad.

Did you hear about the astronomer who studied the moon for 24 hours?
They got bored and called it a day.

Did you hear they invented a new version of tennis that’s supposed to be harder?
It’s called elevennis.

Did you hear about the ice cream van that crashed?
The driver blamed it on the rocky road.

Did you hear about the scarecrow that got promoted?
He was outstanding in his field.