150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter
If you are a chocolate lover, you’ll surely enjoy reading these chocolate jokes too. It’s like chocolate chip cookies, you can’t get enough of them. Let’s get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in.
There are many jokes about chocolate bars and chocolate cookies in our selection, so it’s a bit like opening a box of chocolates. It’s nutty, crunchy, and chocolatey delicious. Furthermore, most of these funny chocolate jokes are clean and safe for everyone.
Here you’ll find the best chocolate jokes, we’re sure you’ll agree. The perfect Valentine’s Day treat for anyone who loves chocolate (which is pretty much everyone). Why not get started now? Get stuck in.
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Table of Contents
Best Chocolate Jokes
It’s summertime, which means chocolate jokes are right up your alley if you’re feeling the heat. That’s why I’ve collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. Have a look!
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate?
Decad-ant.
Did you hear about the magician that had chocolate in his shirt?
He had some Twix up his sleeve.
I asked my 7 year old, “Why do you have chocolate all over your face?”
He said, “Saving it for leftovers.”
That boy cracks me up.
When is the best time to eat chocolate and marshmallows?
In the s’morning.
Which chocolate is in the Baseball Hall of Fame?
Babe Ruth.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
If Bob has 30 chocolate bars and eats 25, what does he have?
Diabetes.
What’s the best part of Valentine’s Day?
The day after when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What kind of candy is never on time?
ChocoLATE.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend?
A PayDay.
Why did the donut visit the dentist?
He needed a chocolate filling.
I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn’t that funny. So I just snickered.
Funny Chocolate Jokes
Chocolate is one of life’s simple pleasures. Whether dark, milk or white, chocolate is satisfying and decadent. So, what about chocolate jokes? I’m sure chocolate lovers like thesefunny chocolate jokes!
What does it do before it rains candy?
It sprinkles!
Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.
One said “Happy Easter!” What did the other one say? “Huh?”
I opened a Mars bar once.
I discovered martians love gin.
Life is like a box of chocolates…
Mostly disappointing.
A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, “Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.”
The boy looks over and responds, “My great grandfather lived to be 105.”
The man replies, “And he ate that much chocolate?”
“No,” says the boy. “But he minded his own business.”
Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?
He had a chip in his tooth.
Why is a Toblerone triangular?
So it fits in the box.
There are two types of people in this world:
People who love chocolate and liars.
What is the opposite of Chocolate?
Chocoearly.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?
Almond Joy To The World.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because it lost its filling!
Hilarious Chocolate Jokes
I’ve got a collection of hilarious chocolate jokes and puns that will make you chuckle no matter what time it is! I know you’re a chocolate lover and want to have some fun with your friend, so that will help you.
How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate?
He drank it before it was cool.
What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate?
A Kit Kat bar.
What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?
I just stepped foot on Mars.
What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship?
A chocolate chip Wookie.
What’s the sun’s favourite chocolate bar?
A Milky Way.
What’s the opposite of chocolate?
Choco-EARLY.
What do you call stolen cocoa?
Hot chocolate.
What’s an astronaut’s favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A coco-nut.
Why did the M&M go to University?
Because he wanted to be a Smartie.
What happens before it rains chocolate?
It sprinkles.
What do you call a cow with a stutter?
Cacao.
Short Chocolate Jokes
It’s not funny when someone steals your chocolate! It’s also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! Though, it is still possible to console yourself with chocolate jokes. Take a closer look at the list of short chocolate jokes!
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
So I try to eat healthy.
But every time I try, a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.
What type of snack is never on time?
Choco-late.
My cousin works in a chocolate shop.
He works behind the bar.
Archaeologists have uncovered a mummy in Egypt covered in nuts and chocolate.
They believe it’s Pharaoh Roche.
My son is three years old and I took him shopping.
When we got home, he had a chocolate bar in his pocket.
Now, I didn’t buy it and he certainly didn’t buy it, so I marched him straight back to the shopping centre and went to the jewellers.
A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars.
I asked if I could have 2.
He said, “No. You can taek-won-do.”
Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?
So that it’ll fit inside the box.
In case you were wondering, chocolate identifies as female.
Preferred pronouns are Her/she.
I ordered a chocolate clock from Amazon a few months ago and it hasn’t arrived yet.
Boy, it’s taking its sweet time getting here.
People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema.
Well…
I’ve got a few Twix up my sleeve.
I once saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg.
I said to him, “I bet I could guess your favourite holiday!”
He replied, “Have to love Easter, baby.”
Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates.
They’ll kill your dog.
I love chocolate.
Hard candy is for suckers.
I put my friend’s chocolate bars in different wrappers. Needless to say…
He got his Snickers in a Twix.
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate.
The first one pulled the second one out.
The second one said, “Thanks, you’re a lifesaver!”
The first one responded, “Actually, I’m a KitKat.”
I saw an article about people snorting chocolate powder for a rush.
They wanted a Quik high.
Chocolate Jokes One Liners
Make a list of these one-liners and then roll them out like Maltesers. You never know what you’re going to get when you open a box of chocolates. Open a box with chocolate jokes one liners that will make you laugh!
Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.
I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. It’s a Ferrari Rocher.
I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasn’t that funny and only got Snickers out of me.
Life is like a box of chocolates – full of nuts.
A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. How dairy.
Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.
What kind of bar is kid friendly? A chocolate bar.
How do you turn the dairy chocolate turn into dark chocolate? Turn off the lights.
I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. I think it was an Aero plane.
I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. It was Terry-vying.
I like to break the rules – once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.
I’ve got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Somehow I’m just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.
I don’t like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. I like to keep my Options open.
What’s the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? A moo-tation.
What’s an electrician’s least favourite ice cream flavour? Shock-o-lat.
Clean Chocolate Jokes
You’ll find here clean chocolate jokes and puns for chocolate lovers that you can share with everyone like your parents, school teacher, etc. So, without wasting the time, let’s enjoy these jokes.
Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? In a hotel sweet.
What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? A chocolate baa.
They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. They believe it’s the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.
What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? Lindt.
A man said to the chocolate maker, “Are you a magician?”
“No,” said the chocolate maker, “but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.”
Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. The prisoners thought they wouldn’t be any good, but they were. It turns out in-prison mint isn’t that bad.
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate-covered aunts.
What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? Plane chocolate.
What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? A Wispa.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candy boy.
Candy boy who?
Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Chalk.
Chalk who?
Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream.
Dirty Chocolate Jokes
Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? Our team has some to share with you. With these dirty chocolate jokes, you’ll make your lady smile. Let’s check them out!
What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?
A Candy Baa.
My wife always cheats when she’s dieting.
She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other men…
Did you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?
They had a baby, Ruth.
What do you call a womanising chocolate?
A cad-bury.
How do you know it’s cold outside?
When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?
Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?
You eat it, She says, “Oh, Oh Henry!”
What is an astronaut’s favorite chocolate? A marsbar! Chocolate Jokes
What did the M&M go to college?
Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
What’s Snoop Dogg’s favourite chocolate bar?
Sniggas.
What does a box of chocolate and life have in common?
They don’t last long for fat people.
What’s the difference between a cow that makes regular milk and a cow that makes chocolate milk?
A mootation.
My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate.
Everyone got a piece.
Why did people make white chocolate?
So black kids could get dirty faces too.
When it comes to stealing chocolate bars…
I have a couple twix up my sleeve.
Kids these days are so stupid.
They actually believe I’ve got chocolate in my van.
Chocolate Jokes for Kids
Kids and chocolate go together like peanut butter and jelly. Chocolate is an excellent energy booster, but it can make kids go crazy if they overeat. Chocolate jokes for kidsare another way to make them smile.
A mum to her son: “Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now there’s only one. Do you know why?
Son: “I don’t know. I think it was too dark for me to see the second one.”
I just ate too much chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. He rubs it and a genie appears. “I will grant you three wishes,” says the genie.
“For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol.” The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears.
“For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds.” The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money.
“For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me.” For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.
PETA is like a box of chocolates.
They kill dogs.
Someone told me there was caffeine in chocolate.
If that’s true, then why has my dog been asleep for so long, huh?
Life is like a box of chocolates.
The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.
My uncle’s joke he just came up with: What are chocolate’s preferred pronouns?
Her, She.
They recently found a mummy in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.
They think it was pharaoh rocher.
Why should you always melt chocolate over boiling water?
Because if you try and melt it under boiling water, you’ll die.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is quite unrealistic but at least they got one thing right
The moment Charlie found that ticket all the scalpers started coming out.
I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from.
He said, “I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.”
They’ve unearthed a sarcophagus in Egypt filled with chocolate and nuts
The mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher.
I identify as a chocolate bar
My pronouns are her/she.
What kind of chocolate does the dryer like?
Lindt Chocolate.
A mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts has been discovered in Egypt
Archaeologists and historians believe it must be Pharoah Roche.
Chocolate Jokes and Riddles
We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. You can laugh out loud together with your friends with these chocolate jokes and riddles.
Why didn’t the cow produce any chocolate milk?
Because he was moo-dy!
Which chocolate candy bar is a cat’s favorite?
A Kit Kat!
What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?
A rocky road!
What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?
Cao-cao! Cao-cao!
On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’ where was another little baby chocolate bar born?
In the Gateaux (ghetto)!
What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?
A Ferrari Rocher!
Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?
He was nutty!
What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?
Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!
Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?
A Bounty-ful!
Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?
A Skor!
What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?
3 Musketeers!
Which is the clumsiest candy bar?
A Butterfinger!
What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?
Ones about Easter eggs – they’re morbid!
Which is a chocoholics’ favorite kind of party?
One that’s choco-lit!
What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?
A Choco-Light!
Why did the candy bar cross the road?
Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!
What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?
Snickers – he only snickers!
What do you call an extra sweet cookie?
A chocolate chip cutie!
What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?
A candy baaaaa-r!
Why was the candy bar confused?
Because she was a Her-She-y bar!
What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?
PayDay!
Chocolate Jokes and Puns
Can you think of anything sweeter than a joke about chocolate? A chocolate pun! You can use these phrases in whatever comedic form you like. Check out the list of chocolate jokes and puns!
Choc it up to experience.
Double choc everything.
Here you bar.
This will definitely come in candy.
I’m chocolate to my appointment!
For their summer holiday, the chocolate couple rented a two-bedroom sweet.
That was really dairy of you to throw a chocolate bar at me in the street.
You can only drink hot chocolate all year long if you are cocoa-nuts.
For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse.
The monkey that comes over at our place loves chocolate chimp.
The electrician’s favorite ice cream flavor is shock-a-lot.
Talking is frowned at in the local chocolate factory, so I only wispa when I get there.
These days, shoes are called snickers.
Don’t fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with!
Chocolate coins are mint to be eaten.
I always have a couple of Twix up my sleeves.
Final Thoughts on Chocolate Jokes
There are a few things we can always count on when we’re having a bad day, but chocolate is one of them! Consequently, these chocolate jokes can also make your frown turn upside down!
We can feel a lot of emotions when we eat chocolate. The feeling of being loved can be a powerful one. In addition to making us feel happy, it has a lot of other benefits as well.
Funny chocolate jokes are great for any celebration or any other day, especially for chocolate lovers. A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods.
It is certain that we have more collections for you if you have enjoyed this collection of jokes about chocolate. Laugh along with more jokes! Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts!
