155 Hilarious Bread Jokes That Will Have You Cracking Up
As the famous English writer and social critic Charles Dickens, once said, “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”
And what better way to showcase your wit other than with some hilarious bread jokes?
From puns about loaves to witty one-liners about baguettes, these jokes are sure to have you kneading on the floor with laughter.
But don’t take our word for it.
As humor research expert, Dr. Peter McGraw, explains, “Humor is a social lubricant. It brings people together and creates positive feelings.”
So, grab a slice and be ready to carb-load on some gut-busting bread jokes!
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Table of Contents
Best Bread Jokes
Looking to add a little more joy to your day? Look no further than these best bread jokes! Get ready to crack up and create a fun, positive atmosphere around you.
What do you call a curious piece of toast?
Wonder Bread.
What do you call a dog made entirely of baguettes?
Pure bread.
What do you call an Indian grandma?
Naan.
The flour got in trouble, so his mama sent him to bread early.
Why does bread hate Southern summers?
The weather is too toasty.
What did one slice of bread say to another water a long day?
Don’t worry, tomorrow will be butter.
Why are the ends the least favorite slice of bread?
Because they’re too upper crust.
Why did margarine push butter?
Because she was on a roll.
What do you call a piece of dough that’s being a jerk?
Crepe.
I don’t know why, but whenever I take a photo of my loaf of bread, it comes out grain-y.
Why did the roll go to the doctors?
It was feeling really crabby.
What kind of bread does Dr. Who not like eating?
Dalek bread.
Why do bakers always work at the weekends?
Because they knead the dough.
Ciabatta study harder if she wants to pass her bakery exams.
Two croissants are in the oven. One says, “It’s hot in here!” The other replies, “Wow, a talking croissant!”
Radical bakers are always going against the whole-grain.
What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread?
The upper crust.
Why was the chef surprised that any like her bread?
She thought it was crumby.
Why does bread look so bad in photographs?
It was just too grainy.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What did the public say when they invented the toaster?
That’s the best thing since sliced bread.
What did the bag of flour say when she bumped into the loaf of bread?
Didn’t I see you yeast-erday?
What does a loaf of bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
Funny Bread Jokes
In this section, we’ve compiled a list of the funniest bread jokes out there that will have you rolling on the floor or heading straight to your kitchen to bake up a loaf.
“Excuse me sir, you’re all out of the garlic naan bread.” “I don’t see the problem. It seems like a Naan-issue to me.”
What is the baker’s favorite TV show?
The Walking Bread!
Why did the baker’s card get declined?
He didn’t have enough dough!
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
How do you spot a radical baker?
They’re always going against the grain.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why did the agin loaf retire?
His career was toast.
What did the ham say to the cheese after their night together?
You’re great in bread.
Why was the loaf of bread upset?
His plans kept going a rye.
My friend cuts up his Indian bread to look like coins. That’s a bunch of Naan cents.
Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian?
He wanted to be Naan-offensive.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery.
I heard they wanted to grow mold together.
Next time you need a loaf, challah at me.
Did you know that pilgrims baked bread on the May-Flour?
What did the crouton say to the bag of flour?
I wasn’t born yeast-erday!
Why is the gluten-free boy afraid of the dark?
He sees bread people.
A bread baker’s bread factory burned down.
Now his business is toast.
What is the richest part of the bread?
Elon Crust.
Who are all the croutons crushing over?
Bread Pitt.
What actor plays the main character in the movie Breadpool?
Rye-n Reynolds.
What do you do after breaking bread?
Just load around.
What is a baker’s biggest fear?
A loaf or death situation.
Hilarious Bread Jokes
Get ready to have a bread-tastic time with these side-splittingly hilarious bread jokes! We promise you’ll be laughing so hard that you’ll be “roule”-ling on the floor. Let’s get punny!
Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend?
The relationship was crumbling.
What did a young slice of bread say after brushing his teeth?
I’m ready for bed.
What did the slice of bread say two the cheese?
You’re the best thing since me!
Why did the baker file a sexual harassment claim?
People kept commenting on his hot buns.
What did the bread say to the cheese?
So grilled to see you!
English muffins aren’t born, they’re bread.
A baker gave me some sweetbread, it was pretty sourdough.
Why is the baker in a bad mood?
He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.
What’s the only bin you’d throw something delicious into?
A bread bin.
Why is the meanest cowboy in the bakery?
Clint Eastwood.
Why doesn’t bread like warmer weather?
Because it gets too toast-y.
Did you hear about the baker’s lorry that spilled its load on the motorway?
Police say to expect delays on the yeast-bound carriageway.
What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it?
Top Bun.
Why type of hotel does a baker stay in when on vacation?
A B&B (Bread & Breakfast).
What’s the true identity of Greek Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
Italian white bread is Santa’s favorite because as the song goes, “Ciabatta watch out, Ciabatta not cry, Ciabatta not pout.”
What kind of bread is served in Heaven? Ciabatta? Focaccia? Soudrough?
Actually it’s Naan of the above.
Why did Ghandi hate flatbread?
Because he practiced Naan-violence.
If you order pita brea twice…Does that make it repeat bread?
What do you call a bagel that can fly?
A plain bagel.
Who is a bagel’s favorite rapper?
Toast Malone.
If a baker assaults somebody with a baguette. Can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
Knock Knock Bread Jokes
Are you ready for some chuckles? Check out these bread knock knock jokes that are guaranteed to have you in stitches and spreading laughter wherever you go.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Jesus
Jesus who?
Jesus Crust! Open the door.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Versace
Versace who?
Versace on the flour.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Self
Self who?
Self loaf.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Cia
Cia who?
Ciabatta your yummy bread.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Doug
Doug who?
Doughnuts.
Bread Jokes One Liners
Get ready to chuckle! These hilarious one-liner bread jokes are certain to put a cute smile on your face and brighten your day.
What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth?
I’m bready for bed.
Why did the rolls hang out on a street corner?
They were just loafing around.
What does a French dominatrix say as she whacks you with a baguette?
Welcome…to the world of le pain!
What do you call a person who eats butter chicken only with Naan?
A Naan-Vegetarian.
I went to an Indian restaurant last night for some garlic bread.
But they had Naan.
I have a friend who only eats Indian bread…I think its bizarre but he just says he’s a Naan conformist.
Did you hear about the women that choked to death on her meal at the Indian restaurant?
Yeah, it’s not funny. It was someone’s Naan.
When a loaf of bread grows mold, it’s time to break down and rye!
Why is the baguette so romantic?
Because it can’t stop loafing you.
How to get a raise at Panera Bread?
Butter up to the boss.
Why did everyone stare at the oven?
Because they saw the hot cross buns.
Why was the baker feeling anxious?
Because he was in a loaf or death situation!
What is the best way to get a rise in pay?
Ask for more dough!
What do you call sourdough that’s been bake by Shakespeare?
Poet-rye.
Why was the slice of bread upset with her husband?
He told her she was being too kneady.
Why did the agin bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What did the piece of toast say when he discovered his fate?
You butter be kidding me.
Why wouldn’t the muffin go on a carbo-hi-date with the gingerbread man?
She didn’t like bread-heads.
What doe’s a woman say to a man who is proposing to her?
I dough!
Clean Bread Jokes
Are you a bread aficionado? If so, we’ve got some clean bread jokes that are sure to make you giggle. Use these jokes to liven up your conversations with friends and family.
What do you call a roll that loses weight?
Flat bread.
Why can’t the baker play the drums?
He forgot the breadsticks.
What are the best shoes to wear while eating bread?
Loafers.
Why did vampires leave the restaurant?
Someone ordered garlic bread.
I’d tell you the joke about some butter on a piece of bread, but you might spread it around.
Why is she so happy baking bread?
Because she is raking in the dough!
Why were the loaves of bread angry?
Because they are being made into a knuckle sandwich.
Heard the one about the loaf of bread who was sad?
He had a break down and rye, then he felt much butter.
What do you call a rabbit who has spent too long in the sun?
A hot cross bun-ny.
Last week I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo.
It was bread in captivity.
Did you hear the one about the bakery that closed because everything went a-rye.
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I can’t stop eating bread.”
Doctor: “You ba-guette some rest as soon as possible.”
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your bread time!
Cute Bread Jokes
Want to give your loved ones a good laugh and remind them how awesome they are? Send them a cute bread joke from our list below and make their day!
This just in: A thief has been arrested for stealing sourdough.
He was caught bread-handed.
What happened after the baker set a new record for baking the most loaves?
He became the breadwinner.
What do you call 52 slices of toast?
A deck of carbs.
What series was the dinner roll binge-watching?
Breaking Bread.
Why did the hamburger bun and the hotdog roll break up?
There wasn’t enough crust in their relationship.
What’s better than a coffee break?
Breaking bread.
What is a baker’s favorite time of year?
Yeaster.
Patient: “Doctor, doctor, I feel like a sandwich.”
Doctor: “You’d better go straight to bread.”
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
My doctor advised me against eating burnt toast.
I am black toast intolerant.
A piece of toast is a lot like the sun.
It rises in the yeast and set is in the waist.
I went to the zoo and seen a baguette in a cage.
The zoo told me it was bread in captivity.
Due to the pandemic, the Indian bakery in my neighborhood is going through some tough times. They fired all Naan essential staff.
Just got the perfect tool for making a good Indian flat bread. It’s a Naan stick pan.
I’m headed to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office.
Bread Jokes and Puns
Are you into making bread? Or perhaps, just a big fan of bread? Well, we’ve got a treat for you! Check out these hilarious bread jokes and puns that are certain to make you laugh, no matter how expert you are in the kitchen.
Wheat it and weep.
That’s a no-grainer.
Gosh, my sourdough starter is so knead.
I’m on a roll.
It’s scone to be a lot of fun!
I hear sourdough is on the rise.
Ciabatta stay away from me.
Stop loafing around!
Don’t be so sour, dough.
Batter safe then sorry.
I don’t want naan of that.
Come a grain?
Butter safe than sorry, bun intended.
Don’t be so kneady.
Baguette out of my way!
You’re no bun!
Stop loafing around.
Next time you need a loaf, challah at me!
Don’t grain on my parade.
Don’t worry, you can crust me.
Wheat make great friends!
I don’t need money. I’m on a flourly wage.
Let’s breadstick together.
Rye so serious?
At yeast we have each other.
Ciabatta say you’re sorry.
I’m bready to have bun with you.
Final Thoughts
In the end, it’s punny how much fun good bread jokes can provide.
Not only are they funny and amusing, but also a great conversation starter – who doesn’t love to share a funny joke?
So don’t loaf around, get out there and make someone laugh today with one of these amazing bread jokes!
We know that we appreciated them – did you?
Tell us in the comments section and join in on the fun.
Our hope is that this post has left you inspired and motivated to tell your own funny jokes or puns about delicious baked goods.
So what are you waiting for?
Go ahead – start using these jokes in your next conversation.
