155 Hilarious Beer Jokes to Spice Up Your Drinking Party
Is there anything better than having a beer with friends and reading out loud beer jokes?
The beer jokes are best told among friends after a few bottles have been consumed. It creates some of the nicest memories, and you may find yourself laughing for days, or maybe weeks, after hearing these wonderful beer jokes and if you ever need a good laugh, this is the place to be.
After a tough day, a cold beer is a welcome relief. It’s a real delight for folks like us! Most of us enjoy beers, but some people find them unpleasant. So, why not try the dink this time with our amusing beer jokes.
They are intoxicatingly funny and will undoubtedly wipe away that bad taste.
We have listed down some of the jokes about beer to share with your friends to enjoy and spend quality time with them. Enjoy reading!
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Table of Contents
Best Beer Jokes
Are you seeking the best beer jokes? Well, you don’t have to worry about that because we have got your back with this amazing compilation of beer jokes. Have a look and enjoy it with your pals!
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says “give me five beers.”
A Scottish woman visiting the U.S. walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a domestic beer. The bartender asks, “Anheuser Busch?”
The woman, a bit confused replies ” It’s fine I guess…… Anheuser pecker?”
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
What did the bottle write on the postcard? Wish you were beer!
IPA a lot when I drink beer.
What’s the difference between Bud Light and having sex in a Kayak?
They’re both f*cking close to water!
What do you never say to a policeman?
“Sure let me grab my license. Can you hold my beer?”
This beer tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow.
I was standing at the bar in an International Airport when this small Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me, and starts drinking a beer I asked him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate, or Ju-Jitsu?”
He says “No, why the fuck would you ask me that? Is it because I am Chinese?”
“No”, I said, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer, you little fucker.”
Jesus walks into a bar and says “who will buy me a beer?”
The guy with the 1 eye walks over and buys him a beer.
Jesus raises his hand and touches the guy’s eye healing it instantly!
He then asks for another beer, an old veteran paralyzed from the chest down rolls over to him and says “I’ll buy your next beer Jesus.”
Once again Jesus raises his hand to heal the veteran and the veteran screams
“NO JESUS DON’T!!!! I’M ON THE DISABILITY BENEFIT!”
A guy walks into a New York bar and orders three beers.
The bartender brings him three beers and says, “You know, it’s pretty slow right now. You don’t need to order three beers at once. You can just order one and I’ll keep an eye on you if you need another.”
The guy responds, “Oh no, that’s not it. You see I ‘ve got two brothers. One lives in Scotland and the other in Ireland. Whenever we go out to the bar we order three beers so it’s like we are drinking them together.”
The bartender thinks this is a great idea and lets him be. Weeks go by and the bartender sees this guy come in often. Each time he orders three beers, drinks them and leaves. But then one week the guy comes in and only orders two beers.
This worries the bartender. He goes to talk to the guy, “Hey man, I remember you telling me about why you always order three beers. There’s only two now so I assume something happened to one of your brothers. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
The guy smiles and replies, “Nah man you got it all wrong. My brothers are just fine. The issue is that I have come to realize that I have a drinking problem and I’ve given up alcohol now.”
Beer…because you can’t drink bacon.
Funny Beer Jokes
We bet no one could relate to beer jokes better than the true beer fans out there. If you also belong to that category, you’ll love this funny beer jokes collection. Get your hands on these now before they get outdated.
Hey bartender, I need a beer. I’ve got way too much blood in my alcohol system.
Why do Germans like sauerkraut and beer much more than they like Vladimir Putin?
Because sauerkraut gives them gas.
Two redneck guys were sitting on a dock in Georgia, drinking beer and fishing with their feet dangling in the water.
One guy said, “Oh no. An alligator just bit one of my feet off.” The other guy said, “Which one?” And the first guy said, “How should I know? All the alligators look alike.”
What does necrophilia and drinking beer having in common?
Nothing like cracking open a cold one.
An SEO expert walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, cafe, beer parlour
Please disable adblocker to view joke.
I’m going to start brewing beer and name it after the first day of the week.
Whenever a 24 or 30 pack is brought to a party they’ll say, “Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays”.
An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scotsman are drinking beer in a cabin. The Irishman says “Excuse me a second,” and steps outside for a few minutes. When he comes back in, he’s drenched from head to toe.
The Englishman asks, “Is it raining outside?”
The Irishman says, “No, it’s windy.”
I’ll shotgun a beer, rip a bong, munch some shrooms…
But cocaine is where I draw the line.
Which beer cans do cops shoot at for target practice?
Black and tan.
Two guys are in a bar, having a beer and discussing different positions. The first one announces, “My favorite position is ‘the rodeo.’”
“How does that one work?” asks his friend.
“Well,” the first one replies, “you get your wife on all four on the bed, then do it to her doggy style. When she really starts enjoying it, you whisper in her ear, ‘Your sister likes this position, too.’ Then you try and hang on for eight seconds!”
A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.
The bartender says “Sorry I can’t serve you”
The Zebra asks “Why not?”
“Because you’re barred” replies the bartender.
I just thought this up but I doubt I’m the first. Sorry if it is lame.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister
It tastes the same but it’s just not right.
Polar Bear Orders Beer
A polar bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he’ll have. The bear says “guess I’ll have a …………… ……………. …………… beer.” The bartender asks “Why the big pause?” The polar bear replies. “I don’t know, I was born with them.”
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.” Confused and extremely worried, I slowly opened the fridge door. The light came on, the beer was cold.
What the hell did she mean?
Guy walks into a bar, orders a beer. As the bartender hands it to him, the guy realizes he really has to take a leak urgently. However, the bar is crowded, and he doesn’t want to leave his full beer on the bar because he’s afraid someone will drink it. After a sudden burst of inspiration, he pulls out a small pad of paper and writes on it: “I spit in this beer.” Putting the note on the beer, he heads off to the bathroom. When he returns, he’s delighted to see his full beer still sitting there with the note. Upon closer examination, though, he sees that someone has written on the note: “So did I.”
Stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not beer.
In heaven there is no beer, which is why we drink it here.
If God had intended us to drink beer he would have given us stomachs.
Beer. Because you can’t drink bacon.
Beer is made from hops. Hops is a plant. Beer=salad.
To beer or not to beer, that is the question.
Beer doesn’t have much vitamins, that’s why you have to drink lots of it.
Hilarious Beer Jokes
Whether it’s Christmas or New Year’s Eve, beer is the one thing that actually completes the event. So why not, let’s celebrate the upcoming occasions with a glass strong of wine along with some hilarious beer jokes. Here are a few for you to enjoy.
I’m a beer enthusiast.
The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
A guy walks into a bar, slumps into a chair, and orders a beer. The bartender says, “What’s wrong, pal? You look down.”
The guy sighs and says, “I am down. My wife is mad at me, and said she wouldn’t talk to me for a whole month.”
The bartender says, “Gee, that’s too bad. When does that start?”
“Start? Today’s the last day.”
What is a pothead’s favorite beer?
Miller High Life
A snake slithered into a bar and asked the bartender for a beer ‘Sorry’ said the bartender ‘I’m afraid I can’t serve you’. ‘Why not?’ Asked the snake
‘Because you can’t hold your drink’ replied the bartender.
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are always over a dollar, deer nuts are always under a buck.
Goofy, I know, but still makes me laugh 20 years after I first heard it!
ETA: GUYS! Thanks so much for the upvotes, I’ve never had so many! Y’all made my night!
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren’t you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: “If you guys aren’t drinking beer than neither will I.”
I don’t put an orange in my beer often.
Except maybe once in a Blue Moon.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
One beer, two beer, three beer, four.
Then I hit the floor.
What do you never say when pulled over by a policeman?
Sure, let me grab my license. Can you just hold my beer for a second?
Give a man a beer, and he wastes an hour.
Teach a man how to brew, and he wastes a lifetime.
Did you know if you say beer can with an English accent, it comes out as bacon in a Jamaican accent?
Go on, try it.
What does a skeleton order at a bar?
A beer and a mop.
When my friend fell asleep at the bar, I poured ale at him.
It was a brewed awakening.
What is the definition of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks:
How much for a beer?
The bartender replies:
For you? No charge!
You can’t find happiness at the bottom of a beer.
Obviously, who is happy when their beer runs out?
I fear my last words will be:
Hold my beer and watch this.
Remember, it’s only a beer commercial.
That kind of happiness may not be attainable.
A man goes into a bar and orders Kingfisher Beer.
Lady next to him – What a coincidence, I also ordered the Kingfisher.
Man – I’m celebrating.
Lady – Me too.
Man – What a coincidence! Why are you celebrating?
Lady – My husband & I have been trying 4 yrs for a baby. Today I’m pregnant.
Man – What a coincidence! I am a farmer. For 4 yrs my hens have been infertile, Today all of ’em are laying eggs.
Lady – Wow! How did that happen?
Man – I used a different cock.
Lady smiled & said, “WHAT A COINCIDENCE…!”
Short Beer Jokes
You might have been scavenging on the internet for the ideal and best short jokes but you keep getting disappointed because there are way too long? If so, then you are on the right site because we have got a few of them.
So I poured my root beer in a square glass
Now I am left with just beer…
What’s the Difference Between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts
Beer nuts are a buck ninety nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck
Confucius say: There is no half-empty beer bottle…
…only half-full piss bottle
I never drink beer with an orange slice in it.
Except once in a Blue Moon.
A bear walks into a bar and orders 100 pints on beer
After 2 minutes the Bear asks “when are you gonna finish?”
the bartender replies “ bear with me sir”
What does a burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant woman all have in common?
An idiot who didn’t take it out in time.
My alcoholic friend says beer has made him a psychic
He calls himself “Bud the Wiser”
Money’s a bit tight, so my wife said I’d have to stop buying beer…
…then she buys $80 worth of makeup. I ask her why she can buy stuff like that but I can’t.
She says the makeup is so she’ll look attractive for me. I answered well that’s what the beer is for.
I don’t think she’s coming back this time…
How do you stop a Mormon from drinking all your beer?
Invite a second Mormon.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a third of a beer… And so on.
The bartender says: “That is an infinite amount of beer. You guys need to know your limits!”
What do sex on the beach and American beer have in common?
Both are fucking close to water.
What do you call a red headed beer?
A Ginger Ale!
Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all are getting seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Ha…haha….hahahaha (walks off laughing)”
I drink beer because I’m too lazy to walk
They say you should walk 10000 steps, the AA only requires 12.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like using a vibrator with no batteries
Sure it fills you up but with none of the buzz.
Beer Jokes One Liners
One-liners are actually the most spontaneous jokes that can help you to achieve all the limelight when in a crowd. Some beer jokes one liners written below are extremely hysterical and will crack up everyone in the audience.
If God hadn’t intended us to drink beer, he wouldn’t have given us stomachs.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Poems are hard. Beer!
In heaven, there is no beer, which is why we drink it here.
Beer and life are best enjoyed the same way.
Chilled.
Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent of losing a balloon.
Beer doesn’t have many vitamins, that’s why you have to drink lots of it.
Spilling a beer is the adult equivalent of a kid dropping an ice cream.
Life is just a little bit more honest after half a dozen beers.
If at first, you don’t succeed, it’s not a twist-top, use a bottle opener.
Friends bring happiness into your life.
Best friends, bring beer.
If you don’t drink beer, how will your friends know you love them at 2 am?
Sign outside a bar: “Buy one beer for the price of two and get your second beer absolutely free.
Clean Beer Jokes
Do you want a few clean beer jokes but struggling to find the right ones? We got you! Have a look at this amazing collection of clean beer jokes for you to enjoy with your family.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Wish you were beer.
The Schlitz on her belly is where the doctors cut during the C-section.
I am a real oldy badass for Amarilloldy.
Beer a good friend to your younger brother.
That must beer an amazing experience!
To beer a master, you will need to practice for 1,000 hours.
I am Tuborg to go on reading such a lengthy expose.
I love you beerly.
Is that the yeast you can do?
I will take her words with a grain of salt.
Wheat a second, is that Rebecca?
The thing could barley fit in.
I had to take some Pils to help me sleep.
Dirty Beer Jokes
Either it’s a casual Friday night party or a sleepover at your friend’s house, you cannot miss these dirty beer jokes. Spice up your night with these super dirty beer jokes along with a glass of wine.
Guy: “I could never live without you.”
Girlfriend, “Is that you or the beer talking.”
Guy: “It’s me talking to the beer.”
Girl to BFF, “I want him to look at me the way he looks at his first beer.”
Sitting beside my girlfriend I said, “I love you.”
She said, “Is that you or the beer talking?”
I said, “It’s me talking to the beer.”
Why did Mexicans create Corona?
So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
This isn’t a beer belly, it’s a fuel tank for my love machine.
Baby, you’re the hot ass in my shot glass.
Sure I could buy you a drink, but I’d be jealous of the glass.
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Here’s 50 euro’s.
Drink until I’m good looking and then come talk to me.
Hey! You owe me a drink.
I dropped mine when you walked by.
I see you’ve got some tequila’s.
Does that mean you wanna give me a shot?
I think all the bottles in this bar must be jealous, cause your beauty is the most intoxicating thing in this place.
I’m not drunk.
I’m just intoxicated by you.
I definitely know you from somewhere…
I wouldn’t have forgotten you.
Beer Jokes for Adults
Not going to lie, but we all have been waiting since our teenage to enter our adulthood and do all the adult stuff, especially drinking. Thus, now that you are an adult and have been drinking for a while, allow us to introduce you to some beer jokes for adults as well.
Beer is never the answer.
Beer is the question, and Yes is the answer.
My man cave has an open door policy.
Bring the beer, and I’ll open the door.
Some people see the glass as half empty.
Some see it as half full.
I just wonder who in the hell is drinking my beer.
Funny how drinking eight glasses of water a day seems impossible, but eight beers go down quicker than an elephant on a see-saw.
With the second lockdown looming, I saw a man purchase 3 crates of San Miguel, 2 bottles of tequila, 6 bags of paella, and a sombrero.
I think hispanic buying.
One day my father asked me while drinking beer, “Miguel, do you think I’m a bad father?”
“My name is John,” I said.
A bishop walks into a bar and walks straight up to the bartender.
The bartender says, “You can’t do that. Bishops can only move diagonally.”
A guy walks into a bar and yells, “All lawyers are assholes.”
The man at the end of the bar says, “I object to that remark.”
The guy responds, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
“No, I’m an asshole,” says the man.
You shouldn’t drink beer every day.
That’s why I only drink at night.
Why should you never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive.
San Miguel beer gives me a reason to wake up every afternoon.
How do you know if someone likes craft beer?
Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
What a vine day to drink craft beer.
Craft beer. It isn’t alcoholism. It’s a hobby.
What the ale is this, a craft beer?
This craft beer tastes like I am going to call you later.
This craft beer tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
What did the beer sing on the beach?
Don’t worry. Be happy.
Life and beer are very similar.
Chill for best results.
What do you call a Jewish beer?
A Hebrew.
Beer Jokes for Kids
Kids are usually not allowed to drink until they cross their eighteen, but we guess there is no harm in reading some beer jokes for kids. Catch a glimpse of these jokes for a good laugh with your kids.
I fear my last words will be ‘‘hold my beer and watch this.’’
Why do they never serve beer at a math party? – Because you can’t drink and derive.
Never look at your beer as half empty. Look at it as halfway to your next beer.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
Beer doesn’t have a lot of vitamins, that’s why you have to drink lots of it.
Two frat boys were stranded at sea on a lifeboat. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives.
The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out, “I wish the ocean was a sea of beer.” And it happened.
A little while later the other one shouted, “Great, now we have to pee in the boat!”
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Beer Jokes Quotes
The more you drink the beer, the more you feel the need of drinking it more due to its addicting nature. Similarly, if you are not an alcohol addict but a person who’s yearning for more, these beer jokes quotes might satisfy your inner self.
“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.” ― Tom Robbins
“Beer is made by men, wine by God.” ― Martin Luther
“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!” ― Martin Luther
“And … and what is civilization if it isn’t people talking to each other over a goddamned beer?” ― James S.A. Corey
“If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.” ― David Daye
Trust me, you can dance.
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
Beer is made by men, wine by God.
Final Thoughts on Beer Jokes
Name anything better than a relaxing time with your friends along with a cold bottle of beer. To be sure, drinking too much is bad for you, but a few bottles won’t affect you! So, use our amusing beer jokes to make your buddies laugh at the bar.
We’ve got you covered with the best puns and beer jokes! These are ideal if you’re searching for jokes for your next happy hour, an Instagram caption, or simply a way to lighten the mood.
Also, bear in mind that one does not have to be a comedian to deliver a joke. All you need is the right joke, tone, and moment to crack it. So, take aid from our short jokes and one-liner jokes about beer because they are easier to memorize and killingly funny.
Good luck with the jokes and do forward it to your friends and colleagues and wait till they respond it with another beer pun. Comment down one if you thought we have missed any!
