170 Hilarious Bear Jokes That You Won’t Be Able to Bear
In the vast tapestry of comedy, few subjects have captured the imagination quite like bears.
From their lumbering gait to their cuddly appearance, bears have become a beloved source of humor for generations.
In our quest to spread joy and laughter, we have delved deep into the annals of comedic genius to unearth the funniest bear jokes that will leave you roaring with laughter.
So, whether you’re a seasoned comedian or simply a lover of a good chuckle, prepare yourself for a wild ride through a forest of hilarity that you won’t be able to BEAR.
Our hilarious jokes about bears are waiting for you!
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Table of Contents
Best Bear Jokes
Get ready to bear witness to the cream of the crop! We’ve scoured the comedic wilderness to bring you the absolute best bear jokes that will make you laugh nonstop.
What did the bear say after looking at his GPS?
“Give me a second to get my bearings!”
Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda’d to its every need!
What’s a park ranger’s favorite element?
Bearium!
How do bears catch fish?
They use their bear hands!
What’s a bear’s favorite thing to draw?
A self-paw trait!
What did the bear say when he had to relay an unhappy message?
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news!”
What did the mama bear say when her cub left a mess?
“Did I raise you to be a Bar-bear-ian?!”
What’s a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie!
Why did the panda get fired from his job?
Because he only did the bear minimum!
What’s a bear’s favorite shoe?
They prefer to go bear foot!
How do bears prefer to travel?
On a bear-o-plane!
What did the bear say when he fell down the stairs?
“Oh, how embearassing!”
What did the bear say when his friends asked to hang out?
“Not today, I need to spend some koalaty time with my family!”
Who’s a bear’s favorite poet?
William Shakesbeare!
Why did the bear need to take a break?
He just likes to paws and reflect sometimes!
Why did the bear go to the flea market?
He was on the search for the best beargain!
Funny Bear Jokes
Looking for a good laugh? Relax, and get ready for a comedic journey that will leave you roaring with laughter!
What do you call a bear without shoes?
Bear-foot.
What kind of bear wins a beauty pageant?
A bear-y pretty one.
How do bears stay fit?
They do bear-obics.
What’s as big as a bear but weighs nothing?
A bear’s shadow.
What do bears use to catch fish?
Their bear hands.
Why do bears travel light?
They only bring the bear necessities.
What do bears order at a Mexican restaurant?
Bear-ritos.
What did the bear say when it couldn’t handle it anymore?
This is un-bear-able.
How much work does a lazy bear do?
Bear-ly any.
How do bears stay cool in the summer?
They turn on the bear conditioner.
What do you call a chaotic situation full of bears?
Panda-monium.
Where do bears go to get a haircut?
The bar-bear-shop.
Where can you find bears in Germany?
Bear-lin.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Why can bears do whatever they want?
They have li-bear-ty.
What kind of fruits do bears like to eat?
Bear-ries.
Why did the bear get fired from its job?
It was doing the bear minimum.
Why are polar bears cheap to have as pets?
They only live on ice.
Why couldn’t the bear enter the bear club?
It didn’t have a mem-bear-ship.
What do you call a bear that does everything intentionally?
Deli-bear-ate.
What’s the best way to apologize to a bear?
To bear your heart and soul.
Hilarious Bear Jokes
These bear jokes are not for the faint of heart, as they are guaranteed to make you laugh until you can’t bear it anymore.
Why did the bear quit his second job?
He needed some koala-ty time with his family.
Where do teenage polar bears go dancing?
The snow-ball.
Why did Mother Nature make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when she tried to make a second one, she made a Boo-Boo.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, GO!
What is a polar bear’s favorite healthy snack?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How do bears travel when they go on vacation?
Bear-o-planes.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Why did the bear cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call bears without ears?
B’s.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium!
Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
How did the grizzly bear walk in the snow?
Bear-footed.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre!
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why do bears have a hairy coat?
Fur protection.
What is as big as a bear but weighs nothing?
Its shadow!
Where does a polar bear go to vote?
The North Pole.
Knock Knock Bear Jokes
Who’s there? It’s a barrel of bear-related humor coming your way! These knock-knock bear jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Yogi bear.
Yogi bear, who?
Yogi bear and you’ll get arrested!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Some bear.
Some bear who?
Some bear over the rainbow!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bear watch.
Bear watch, who?
Bear watch out, bear not cry. Bear not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Claw.
Claws, who?
Claws the door, its cold outside.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Alaska bear.
Alaska bear who?
Alaska bear, but he may not know the answer.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Fur.
Fur, who?
Fur his a jolly good fellow! Fur he’s a jolly good fellow!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bees.
Bees, who?
Bees pass the honey.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Koala.
Koala, who?
Koala for help! The house is on fire!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bear.
Bear, who?
Bear bum.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Winnie-the.
Winnie-the, who?
Silly… It’s not Winnie-the-who… It’s Winnie-the-Pooh!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ima.
Ima, who?
I’m a Panda!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pooh.
Pooh, who?
Well you don’t have to cry about it!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Winnie thup.
Winnie thup, who?
You’ve got it! Winnie-the-Pooh!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Z.
Z, who?
Z honey. Where is z honey?
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Winnie the Pooh.
Winnie the Pooh who?
Knock, Knock!
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say Winnie the Pooh again!
Bear Jokes One Liners
Sometimes, all it takes is a single line to crack you up. These bear one-liners are short, sweet, and guaranteed to deliver a punch of laughter.
My dentist is a bear- he’s a molar bear!
Polar bears are cheap to feed- they only eat ice.
The two bears had to break up… they were polar opposites!
The bear went for a walk but got lost- he had lost his bearings!
The koala had to keep fit, so he did some bear-obics.
It is im-paws-ible to find a bad bear joke.
The bear went for a walk but got lost, he had lost his bearings.
The koala bear had to sit lots of exams this year. He needed to get his koala-ifications.
It is im-pawsible to find a bad bear joke.
The polar bear’s best breakfast is Ice Krispies.
Koalas aren’t bears…Even though they’re koalafied, they failed bearification.
A man escaped from a bear only with a bow in hand…But his friend who got an arrow in the knee was not as lucky.
Singer Bill Withers had a brother called ‘Bear’ who wrote telephone hold music.
Chuck Norris has a bear skinned rug…The bear’s not dead, it’s just afraid to move.
Ok so, bear with me here…That isn’t a misspelling, call animal control
The polar bear loves ice…The bipolar bear sometimes love, sometimes don’t
Clean Bear Jokes
Laughter doesn’t have to be dirty to be funny! So gather the whole family, sit back, and enjoy a bear-tastic dose of clean humor that will leave everyone smiling.
What does a baby bear have?
A bear bum.
What do you all a large group of sick pandas?
A panda-emic.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a bear with three ears?
Bearearear.
What color socks do bears wear?
None. They usually have bear feet.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
A few thousand miles.
What happened when the teddy bear got punched?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Did you know Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug in his home?
The bear is not dead it is just too scared to move.
How come the koala bear wasn’t allowed to finish the race?
She had got dis-koala-fied.
If you apologize to a koala, how do you do it?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
If a bear has a bad attitude, what do you call him?
The bearer of bad news.
Who would you name a bear that practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
The panda packed what for her journey?
The bear necessities.
How does one fry a black-and-white bear?
With a pan-duh!
Dirty Bear Jokes
You should be careful reading this content. These dirty bear jokes are perfect for you if you’re ready to experience the wild side of bear comedy.
A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods.
The bear glances over at the rabbit and asks “Do you have trouble with poo sticking to your fur?”
The rabbit replies, “Nope, never been a problem. Just lucky that way, I guess.”
“Guess so,” the bear said, as he picked up the rabbit and wiped his butt with him.
What do you get when you cross human DNA with bear DNA?
Kicked out of the petting zoo.
You’re riding on a horse at high speed chasing a zebra. To your right is a sheer drop off. Two feet to your left is a grizzly bear. Right on the heels of your horse is an angry lion. What do you do?
Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round!
A bear and a rabbit are taking shits in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?” The rabbit says “no”. So the bear picks him up and wipes his ass with him!
Last night, I tossed and turned as I had a dream that a giant grizzly bear ate me and I passed through its entire digestive tract.
I woke up feeling pooped.
Bear Jokes for Adults
Are you prepared to let your inner child loose while adding a dash of mature humor? These bear jokes for grownups strike the ideal balance between silliness and seriousness.
If you cross a grizzly bear with a harp, what do you get?
A bear faced lyre!
What does a bear with crooked teeth need?
Bear-aces.
What was the scary movie the bear refused to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
If a bear doesn’t have teeth, what do you call him?
A gummy bear.
How come bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing kagoules!
Why do bears not eat fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
Without a fishing rod, how can you catch fish?
With you bear hands.
When it rains, what do bears do?
They get wet.
What’s wrong with wrestling with bears?
The pain is unbearable.
How about a bear’s favourite after-school activity?
Cub Scouts!
You shouldn’t take a bear to the zoo, so why not?
Because they’d rather go to the movies.
How can you tell whether a bear is moving?
They put up a ‘fur sale’ sign up.
A bear without ears, what would you call it?
A b.
What did the bear say after looking at the GPS?
“Give me a second to get my bearings!”
What kind of socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear anything! They go bear-foot.
The sloth got fired from his job for what?
He would only do the bear minimum
Bear Jokes for Kids
Calling all little jokesters! These bear jokes for kids are here to brighten your day and make you giggle. Let’s check them out!
Where do polar bears vote?
The North Poll.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
What do you call a bear with no hair?
Threadbare
What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal?
A polar bear.
Why did the bear with alopecia go to his GP?
To get a re-furral.
Why do bunnies walk funny without shoes?
Because of the bear feet!
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his birthday cake?
He was already stuffed.
What’s the stupidest animal in a jungle?
The polar bear
Ok so, bear with me here
That isn’t a misspelling, call animal control
How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod?
With your Bear hands.
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
They both have ‘the’ as their middle names!
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What’s a teddy bears favorite pasta?
Tagliateddy!
Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo
What bear goes around scaring other animals?
Winnie the Boo!
What do you get when you cross a bear with a garden?
Squash!
What do grizzlies do when they are having a bad day in the forest?
Grin and bear it.
Why do polar bears like bald men?
Because they have a great, white, bear place!
What do turkeys and teddy bears have in common?
They both have stuffing.
What’s brown, furry and has twelve paws?
The Three Bears!
Where did Goldilocks fall asleep?
At the Three Bores house!
Why do polar bears have fur coats?
Because they would look weird in ski jackets.
Bear Jokes and Puns
Get ready for a feast of wordplay! These bear puns and jokes are a wonderful combination of deft humor. Get ready!
I laughed so hard I could not bear it any longer.
Is there is a name for bees without bears?
Ears.
There are bears that don’t have teeth, and they are called gummy bears.
The bear was upset when her date showed up early because she was bearly dressed.
A bear that is a dentist is called a molar bear.
The only soda a bear will drink is Coca Koala.
The panda’s favorite movies are classics because they are in black and white.
Was there a reason that God made Yogi bear?
Yes because he made a Boo-Boo.
A bear that is left out in the rain for a long time is a drizzly bear.
Panda bears love to watch those old classic movies because they are in black and white.
The reason God only made on Yogi Bear is because on his second try he made a Boo-Boo.
A bear who no longer has any teeth is known as a gummy bear.
The reason it is so cheap to feed a polar bear is because they live on ice only.
A bear will always stay for dessert because they love to eat blue beary pie.
The best way to apologize to a koala is to simply bear your heart and soul to them.
Bears in the wild do not like fast food because it is very hard for them to catch.
The koala got fired from his new job because he would only do the bear minimum.
The baby bear did not like when his mother dropped him at day care because he could not bear it.
Final Thoughts
As we wrap up this wild and hilarious journey through bear jokes, we hope that we’ve brought a smile to your face and brightened your day.
Laughter truly is a universal language, and what better way to spread joy than through a collection of side-splitting bear humor?
Whether you enjoyed the clever puns, the silly antics, or the unexpected twists, we hope these jokes provided a much-needed escape from the everyday grind.
Now, we’d love to hear from you! Share your favorite jokes about bears in the comments below and keep the laughter going.
