130 Hilarious Beach Jokes to Laugh Through Summer Time
Ever wondered that “why the beach is always confident?” No? well, it’s because it’s 100% shore! If this pun brought a smile to your face, then keep up the ball rolling for more beach jokes like these.
Summer is just down the road which means many of us will be spending our days at the beach. You will need some beach jokes to keep your spirits up whether you’re relaxing under a shade or spending hours in the water!
Regardless of the fact that going out during summers usually makes us tan and tired yet we still plan to escape our time for water activities, beach jokes can be a great deal of pressure to enjoy the most of that time.
So, scroll down a bit for the amazing collection of funny beach jokes.
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Table of Contents
Best Beach Jokes
Are you also looking for the best beach jokes? Then stop right here! Because we have brought you to the huge cluster of beach jokes only for you to have a good time. Enjoy!
Why can you never get hungry on the beach?
Because of all the sand which is there!
When very small beaches are crashing into the shore, what crashes? Micro-waves
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
What does a shark eat for dinner?
Fish and ships!
The guys on the beach are charging such high prices for their shells
It’s Unconchinable
What do you call a man who spent all summer at the beach?
A tangent. (A tan gent.)
What did the pirates take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea
Why couldn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?
Because he was always lost at C. (sea)
What does a guy with 2 right feet wear to the beach?
Flop-flops
How do men exercise at the beach?
While sucking in their stomach every time they see a girl in bikini.
What do snowmen do at the beach?
Chill out.
Why should you never blame a dolphin for doing anything wrong?
Because they never do it on porpoise!
Where do a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dentist.
I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money
Funny Beach Jokes
There is never a dull moment when you are at the beach. But for someone who still doesn’t prefer to spend most of their time during summers around the water, these funny beach jokes can do wonders for you.
How does the ocean floor stay up-to-date on the news?
By following current events, of course.
When the fisherman’s line got tangled, what did he say? Something a-piers to be wrong…
What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
A life-gourd.
Why did the detectives show up at the concert at the beach?
Something fishy was going on.
Going to the beach? Please avoid pier pressure.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What happened when the blue ship and the red ship collided at sea?
Their crews were marooned.
I’ll be at the beach; if you need me, call me on my shell phone.
What happens when you go to the beach and throw your hat in the water?
It gets wet!
What do you get when you combine an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks.
Two priests are walking on the beach
They come across a little puppy licking its balls. They stand around for a few minutes watching in fascination.
One priest turns to the other and says, “damn, I wish I could do that.”
The other priest thinks about it for a second. “Nah,” he says. “The dog will bite you.”
What do you call a waffle on a California beach?
A Sandy Eggo.
What kind of sandwiches can you make at the beach?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
When I die I want my remains to be scattered at my local beach….I’m not getting cremated though.
Why is a waffle at the beach like a city in Southern California?
Because it’s a Sandy Eggo.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards to enter the ocean?
If they fell forward they would just fall into the boat.
I attempted a pun about water but everyone sea straight through it, and when people complain they are normally just being a beach.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day and Eve says to Adam let’s go for a swim. Adam replies I’m not in the mood. She says ok I will go by myself. She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says the water is beautiful come in and Adam replies na still not in the mood. Eve wade’s into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says Oh No now all the fish are gonna smell like that.
Hilarious Beach Jokes
What did the beach say when the tide came in? Long time, no sea! Wasn’t it a good one? Have a look at more hilarious beach jokes like these to crack you up.
Did you hear about the martial artists that fought on the beach?
They were practising sand to sand combat.
A man comes home from work and tells his wife “Pack your bags, I just hit the lottery.”
His wife says “Oh that’s wonderful. Should I pack for the mountains or the beach?”
He says “I don’t care. Just get out.”
The letters in the English alphabet go to the beach (don’t ask me why). Every letter gets sunburned except W, X, Y and Z. Why?
They had UV protection in front.
What do you call a cat who lives at the beach?
Sandy claws.
Watery going to do at the beach? Just go with the flow?
What do toads drink when they go to the beach?
Ice-cold Croak-a-cola.
What’s the best day of the week to go to the beach?
SUNday
What do you call a witch who lives on the beach?
A sandwitch!
I was walking down the beach when I heard a swimmer yelling for help.
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him
Why didn’t the lobster share his toys?
He was too shellfish.
MATT: What place is never icy?
JACK: Tell me.
MATT: A beach, because it’s always sanded.
What did the shovel say to his friend on the beach?
Are you okay? You’re looking a bit pail.
Where do fish go to borrow money?
The loan shark.
Where do rocks like to spend summer vacation?
Pebble Beach!
Knock Knock Beach Jokes
Want some beach knock knock jokes to share with your kids? Then, you don’t have to bother anymore because we have got you covered with all kinds of beach jokes.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Kelp
Kelp who?
Kelp me! I’m drowning!
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Argo.
Argo who?
Argo down to the beach to get a nice tan!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Sandra
Sandra who?
Sandra-bout your toes at the beach.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Waiter.
Waiter who?
Waiter minute while I get my swimsuit.
Knock, Knock
Who’s there?
Turtlesgo
Turtlesgo who?
No, Owls go who?
Turtle go Booom!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Water
Water who?
Water you waiting for? Open the door!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Juana.
Juana who?
Juana go swimming?
Knock. Knock.
Who is there?
Ocean.
Ocean who?
Ocean not steal your neighbor’s wife!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Shore.
Shore who?
Shore hope you love these knock-knock jokes!
What’s better than knock knock jokes?
Nothing! OK, the beach is better.
Turtle 1: Knock Knock
Turtle 2: Who’s there
Turtle 1: Shell!
Turtle 2: Shell who?
Turtle 1: Shell we dance?
Beach Jokes One Liners
No one would like to hear a long beach joke after a tiring day at the beach. Steal one of these classic beach one liners to entertain all your friends at the seaside.
I’m swimming at the beach, water you doing today?
Don’t worry, beach happy!
What do you call a fish without eye?
Fsh.
There’s nothing like a day at the beach to buoy your spirits.
I took a nap on the beach because I needed a sea-esta.
Don’t let the tide get you down.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
There was so much commocean at the beach today.
Sanday is the most suitable day to have a beach picnic.
This beautiful beach is making me emoceanal.
It’s hard to coral everyone to one place, but we did it.
Clean Beach Jokes
If you are planning to stop by the seaside to watch the sunset along with your family, then do go through these clean beach jokes before you make it there. These jokes will double the fun for sure!
What do you call the seagulls that live by the Bay?
Bagels.
Where are you when you’re eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand?
San Diego
What did the family do when they arrived at the summer beach resort?
They shell-aborated.
I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn’t swim. The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.
The doctor said it is medically necessary that I lounge on the beach for a week. Also I’m calling myself ‘the doctor’ these days….I do that sometimes.
Sin and Cos are lying down next to each other on the beach. When all of a sudden sin jumps on top of cos. Cos shouts “What are you doing?” sin replies, “I’m trying to get tan.”
Why do we call it sand?
Because it is between sea and land.
I stopped using the beach beside the power station. I don’t like to swim in spark infested water.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel!
Why did the dolphin cross the beach?
To get to the other tide.
Can you tell me how much does it cost to attend the beach for a day? It’s just a few sand dollars.
Dirty Beach Jokes
Well, that is going to be an adult beach party, your old cliché beach puns will not work anymore. Get your hands on these dirty beach jokes and be ready for some hilarious responses.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing n*de. I personally am on the fence.
A family traveled during the summer to a nudist beach. His son in the middle of playing, saw a naked man and said:
“Daddy! That man has a pee-pee waay bigger than yours!”
His dad, bothered by his inferiority, asked him:
“But you understand that the bigger they are, the dumber they are, right?”
“Boobies waaaay bigger than yours!”
He again went to play.
Are you the deep end?
Because I’m ready to dive right in.
What do sheep wear to the beach?
A baa-kini
A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach.
“Hi, my name is Ed.” he says.
“What’s it short for?” she asks.
Thoughtful, he looks down a moment, before answering, “I dunno, it’s always been like that.”
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomach every time they see a bikini.
A guy went to the beach to lay down and relax and had a newspaper covering his private parts but then a little girl came up to him and said what is under the newspaper and the guy said, my birdie don’t touch it and then the guy went to sleep and soon after he woke up he found out that he was in the hospital and his private parts were hurting an then he saw the little girl right next to him and asked what happened and the little girl said when you were asleep I played with your birdie and then it spat on me so I broke the neck, busted the eggs, and burned its nest.
Why didn’t the poodle want to go the beach?
It didn’t want to be a hot dog.
Will you teach my tongue how to surf?
I seem to have sand in my bathing suit, wanna help me get it out?
My wife changed into her bikini at the beach, and stood posing in front of me. “Well,” she said, “I’ve lost a stone. Can you see a difference?”
I picked up a pebble and tossed it in the ocean. “The beach has lost a stone,” I said. “Can you see a difference?”
Beach Jokes for Adults
Adults usually don’t have anything else to do on the beach except for swimming or surfing (if they know). Thus to kill your time in the best possible way, we have gathered a wide range of beach adult jokes.
A man is lying on a nudist beach wearing only a hat covering his crotch when all of a sudden a woman passes by who remarks, “If you were even the tiniest bit of a gentleman, you would lift and tip your hat to a lady.”
What do you call a rejected guitarist now living on the beach?
A sea minor.
What does a mermaid use to call her friends?
A shell phone, of course.
Why was the two piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the hairy section from the dairy section!
Why do people swim at salt water beaches?
Because a pepper beach would make them sneeze.
When I’m feeling crabby, I can always count on the beach to make me come out of my shell.
Which legendary singer do beach resorts love to host?
Dinah Shore
Where does a ship go when it’s sick?
To the DOCK!
How do you find a blind guy at a nude beach?
It is not hard.
A big hurricane came by and washed a beach away…
The sea rises by and says “Oy! Beach! Where’s the rest of ya!?”.
The beach replies: “I’m not shore anymore.”
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I went to a nude beach today and let me tell you, I had a lot of women’s attention. I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes.
A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick.
An ugly woman is passing and remarks: “If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady!”
He replied: “If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift itself!”
I’m drowning in the sun and need mouth to mouth now!
A well endowed woman was swimming at the beach when she lost her bikini top.
The woman awkwardly covered her chest and ran back towards the shore.
A little boy saw the woman and said, “If you’re going to drown those puppies, can I at least keep the one with the cute little pink nose?”
What do sex on the beach and American beer have in common?
Both are fucking close to water.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the oceans bottom!
Three beautiful young girls are walking along the beach when they come across a man sunbathing. He has no arms or legs.
The first girl goes up to him and says, “Have you ever been hugged?”
The man shakes his head, so she bends down and gives him a big hug.
The second girl asks him if he has ever been kissed. Again he shakes his head so she bends down and gives him a long lingering kiss.
Then the third girl asks him if he has ever been fucked.
“No, no,” he stammers, his face lighting up in anticipation.
“Well, you are now,” she replies “the tide’s coming in.”
Beach Jokes for Kids
Anyone who is excited about summers is always the kids! And that is rightfully so because they know how to make the most of this season. Therefore, if you are a kid in search of ‘beach jokes for kids,’ then here are a few for you.
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing—it just waved!
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Finland!
What do you call a sea turtle that flies?
A shell-icopter.
Which fish is the most famous at the beach?
Star fish
What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?
I’m bacon.
What do you do on a beach vacation?
You shellabrate.
Do fish go on vacation?
No, because they’re always in school!
What does Cinderella wear at the beach?
Glass flippers!
Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Why did the beach get wet?
Because the seeweed.
I was on the beach with my daughter.
After a while, she turned to me and said, “Dad, you look like a lobster.”
“Oh no,” I replied, “Am I burning?”
She said, “No. Just very ugly.”
Beach Jokes for Couples
Seaside is an absolute destination to fritter away your time with your significant other. Catch a glimpse of the given beach jokes for couples written down here and let us know your reviews in the comments below.
High tide or low tide, I’ll always by your side.
I think we’re mermaid to be together.
Your eyes are like the ocean and I’m lost at sea.
Can I swim in your beautiful blue eyes?
Orange you glad we’re at the beach together?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I swim by again?
I love it so much when my fiancé let me play beach volleyball.
Are you a member of the dive crew?
You’ve turned my heart into knots.
We shore are going to have a great time!
I’m a crazy son of a beach, but you love me anyway!
Final Thoughts on Beach Jokes
Not every part of the world enters the summers at the same time, so if in case, it’s summer in your region then we are glad that you have just gone through the perfect collection of beach jokes to make your summers more fun.
Also, for all those people who live, where it’s summer almost half of the year, then we can bet that these funny beach jokes will work as the ideal therapy to cool your mind in this harsh weather.
While lying on scorching sand and being thrown over by waves isn’t your idea of fun, then we can assure to have a good laugh with some well-timed beach jokes.
Not only this, if you ever have a feeling of summers not being enough summery this time, these beach jokes along with the making of sandcastles, sipping ice cream, or swimming around in the big blue waves will definitely cheer you up. Have a good day!
