172 Hilarious Basketball Jokes to Get You in a Fun Mood
Basketball is such a fun game to spread happiness among people, but do you know what’s better than this? Basketball jokes, of course!
The basketball game is a fun, light-hearted sport that brings a lot of people together. But, if you see this game as a basketball player, sports analyst, or a hard-core fan of basketball, not every game of it can be a joy for you!
There are always some ups and downs in the game and that is what makes a sport a ‘recreational sport.’ Thus to cheer you up on a gloomy day we have collected the basketball jokes to provide you comfort.
So, without any further due, let’s begin this laughing therapy with basketball jokes, and bear in mind to read out these funny basketball jokes with your pals loud enough that it passes the hoop to secure a burst of good laughter.
Now, onto the jokes!
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Table of Contents
Best Basketball Jokes
Need the best basketball jokes to encourage your fellas after a tough day in court? Then, stop right here, as we are going to assist you in providing the funniest basketball jokes and puns.
What’s the difference between the Miami Heats and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Basketball players are the most upstanding members of society.
They really are people to look up to.
Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?
Because he was a record breaker!
Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?
It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
Do you know what fast-food chain would make a great basketball player?
Donkin’ Doughnuts.
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
What do basketball players call the first meal of the day?
Fast breaks.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!!!
I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.
It will be missed.
I was interviewing for a job and they asked if I would be alright with travelling.
I said, “Definitely not! I play basketball by the rules.”
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
What is the favorite sport of a bass fish?
Bass-get-ball.
What is a basketball player’s favorite Christmas song?
“Oh Christmas Three, Oh Christmas Three!
Did you hear about the referee that got fired from the NBA?
Supposedly, he’s a whistleblower.
Why aren’t burgers too good at basketball?
Too many turnovers!
Who is the best basketball player in the Hundred Acre Wood?
Tigger because he loves to bounce!
How do you beat the crowd at a Nuggets game?
Wait until the game finishes.
What’s the similarity between a lawyer and a basket baller?
They see their opponents in court.
MICAH: What did the genie grant the basketball player?
CALEB: I don’t know.
MICAH: Three swishes!
A brawl took place in a basketball game. A judge came in and used his gavel to stop it. He brought order in the court.
Funny Basketball Jokes
If you are feeling a bit down, just because your favorite team lost the game, then luck you that you are at the perfect place to lift your mood. Here are some funny basketball jokes to bring a smile on your face.
What do you do when you see an elephant with a basketball?
Get out of the way.
A man throws a basketball as hard as he can. There is nothing in front, behind or either side of him but the ball comes back and hits him in the face. How can this be?
He threw the ball straight up in the air!
What is the difference between a Suns fan and a baby?
The baby will stop whining after a while.
How can you identify Chris Paul’s cell phone?
It vibrates and receives calls but doesn’t have a ring!
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
What did the announcer say about the team that kept losing?
They’re a team in transition – they’re going from bad to worse.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season?
Cause’ they don’t have home games.
In basketball, what is it called when you lose due to a wildly thrown buzzer-beater?
Defeat-us by yeetus
Which American state do basketball players get their kits replaced?
New Jersey!
Why didn’t the fish try out for basketball?
Because they were afraid of the net.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
Why wouldn’t the basketball team play with the third basketball?
Because it was an oddball out!
I wonder if there’s a way for me to play basketball in the rain and not get wet.
They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall… They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf.
How many New York Knicks players does it take to change a tire?
One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
So the Devil goes to God and says “We’re having a basketball tournament.”
Then God says “Hold up, give me one second.”
If you rush a circumcision to watch the start of a basketball game, You are quickly taking the tip off not to miss the tip-off.
The reason Madison, Wisconsin doesn’t have a professional basketball team is that pretty soon Milwaukee will want one, too.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Hilarious Basketball Jokes
Though basketball is a fun game to play but not every day can be a fun day in the court. Have a look at the hilarious basketball jokes jotted down below and make sure to share them with your pals as well.
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
Did you hear that the basketball coach is dressing only 7 players for the tournament?
The rest can dress themselves.
Bob’s basketball coach has five players: four are named Koko, Momo, Lolo and Jojo. What is the fifth player’s name?
Bob
What does a Timberwolves fan do after winning the Finals?
Turn off the play station and go to bed.
Do you know what a pro basketball player and an angry bunny have in common?
Mad Hops.
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down weeping uncontrollably the next?
A basketball coach.
Why couldn’t Kobe pass the first grade?
He couldn’t pass the tests.
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her?
They handed her a basketball as told her to “read this book”.
Why does every tech company have a basketball hoop in the parking lot?
So people won’t have troubleshooting.
Did you hear that a group of hookers decided to make their own basketball team?
They’re going to be called the Harlot Globetrotters.
When the basketball realized all the checks were bouncing, he decided to visit the bank himself to find out.
My tennis career has taught me I can be the best basketball player ever. Nothing but net.
Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?
He was learning how to draw fowls.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor
My friend was like “that’s a huge sack of balls.”
He didn’t realise what was about to happen.
It was a bad idea to ask the chicken farmer to referee basketball games He kept calling fowls.
I’m starting a group to play basketball and then discuss philosophy
It’s called “shoot first, ask questions later”
Just saw a fight between a basketball player and a YouTuber.
Don’t listen to the media. The basketball player will win in the courts.
A basketball team is created in Area 51 and for the inaugural match they decide to play against the Vatican. How do they call the event?
Aliens vs Predators.
Knock Knock Basketball Jokes
Yeah, we are back with the knock knock jokes, but this time with the ‘basketball knock knock jokes’ specifically. To all the basketball lovers out there, what are you waiting for? Grab these jokes now!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dozen
Dozen who?
Dozen anyone want to come and play basketball?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wanda
Wanda who?
Wanda buy a new basketball?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Les
Les who?
Les go and play basketball!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Woo
Woo, who?
What are you cheering for in college basketball?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Fred
Fred who?
Fred I can’t play basketball today!
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Noah
Noah, who?
Noah good joke about basketball
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Canoe
Canoe who?
Canoe come over and play basketball with me?
Basketball Jokes One Liners
Want some funny basketball one liners to freshen up the mood of your teammates and share a laugh? Then, here you go! Have a look at these basketball puns and choose the best out of all.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
The lake trout didn’t try out for the school’s basketball team because it was afraid of the net.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?
Swiss!
Thieves can be good basketball players because they are so good at shooting, stealing, and running.
In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?
Basket ball.
I couldn’t figure out why the basketball kept getting larger and larger
Then it hit me.
If traveling is a violation in basketball then shouldn’t the entire visiting team be disqualified?
Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin’ Donuts was a basketball team.
I saw a man walking through an airport holding a basketball Must’ve been traveling.
Basketball sued tennis for no reason… Now they have to go to court!
What do you call a monkey that wins back to back titles?
A chimpion.
My brother thinks he’s good at basketball. He says, “I’ve been Duncan my whole life!”
A team should be an extension of a coach’s personality. My teams are arrogant and obnoxious.
Basketball players stay cool in hot gyms by hanging out near the fans.
Dirty Basketball Jokes
Since we have discussed the one-liners, knock knock jokes, and all kinds of puns, we obviously cannot miss sharing these dirty basketball jokes with you, because we know, you need them!
My buddy opened a tavern for basketball players, and there are already imitators.
Good thing he set the bar so high.
Sex is like basketball: I’m 5’3″ and don’t play a lot of basketball.
What’s the difference between a Labrador and a basketball player?
One drools and the other one dribbles!
What do you call a basketball player that misses dunks?
Alley Whoops.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
Slam Drunk!
What do cheerleaders of a basketball team drink before going to a basketball game?
Root beer!
Making Love to a Woman is a Lot Like Playing Basketball.
Well, they’re similar in the sense that I’ve done neither.
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball and the 17th President?
Magic Johnson.
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah you sure can but do be having all your balls in it it will taste nasty.
What’s the difference between a nazi and a basketball?
You’re not supposed to kick the basketball.
What is the urologist’s favorite part in basketball?
The dribbles.
Want to play basketball at my place? I can show you how good I am with balls.
I have contempt for a game [football] in which players have to wear so much equipment. Men play basketball in their underwear, which seems just right to me.
Good Basketball Jokes
Basketball apart from being a celebrated sport is also a topic for good basketball jokes as well. Check out the amazing basketball puns written below and don’t forget to share your feedback in the comments section.
If a jockey wears jockey shorts, and a basketball player wears basketball shorts, what kind of shorts does the President wear?
Depends.
Why did the basketball player sign up for the crafting club?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why can’t you play a fair game of basketball in the jungle?
Because there’s too many cheetahs!
How were the scrambled eggs like the losing basketball team?
They’d both been beaten.
Why was the basketball court dripping wet?
Because the basketball player kept dribbling all over it!
What does a Bulls fan doing after watching his team win?
Rewind the tape.
What do you call a bawler?
A sad basketball player.
Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?
Apparently, they can’t string three “W’s” together.
What does a basketball player do when he begins to lose his eyesight?
He becomes a referee.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Which basketball player wears the biggest sneakers?
The one with the biggest feet!
Why Did The Columbine High School Basketball Team Lose The Big Game? Because They Lost Their Two Best Shooters….
How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game?
Oh, he bald.
Legend has it that basketball used to be played with glass beads, and we only started using rubber balls in the 1900s.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
I invited my flat-earther friend to play basketball. He brought a frisbee with him.
What legendary college basketball would be a great major league baseball pitcher?
Coach K!
Why were the basketball team’s jersey’s so full of static?
The team was out of Bounce.
What kind of basketball team cries when it loses?
A bawl club.
There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet and put the darn ball in the basket.
Why did people in the NBA think Michael Jordan was conceited?
Because he was always putting on Airs.
Flirty Basketball Jokes
Even if you are not a massive follower of this sport, you still can enjoy these flirty basketball jokes with your friends. Have a look at the given puns because the jokes will surely leave you guys jumping through hoops.
If you were a basketball team, I’d be Indiana Pacers. Know why?
We both have solid D.
If you were a basketball, I’d never shoot. Because I’d always miss you.
Are you a lot on the court? Because I’m looking for someone who wants to follow an elaborate COURTship procedure with me.
I can jump almost six feet to dunk, but can I test how long I can do slamings on you?
You’re so short that you must play point guard. Would you like to guard me and the kids we may have one day?
Do you play basketball? I’m great at dribbling. Look over there, see that puddle? That’s where I’ve done my best dribbling. Dribbling over you, of course.
On a scale from 1 to basketball how free are you tomorrow night.
Babe can I wear your jersey? Because I really love your name, and I want your number, also dear.
Do you like a player who uses the backboard, or takes it straight to the hole?
If you are a ball, would you permit me to do a lay up on you and just lay you down afterward?
I would be a really lousy basketball player with you as my ball. I’d never shoot you because I’d miss you too much.
I think you’re a basketball fan because each time I looked at you, my D. Rose.
If you were the ball, no one else would ever score because I won’t pass you around.
I wish I can show you that I can do some basketball really great, for I am a pro at this, love.
Basketball Jokes for Adults
You don’t have to wait for the ball to land in your court because we are going to take you through a bunch of basketball jokes for adults which will crack you up for the next five seconds.
Why are college basketball players so excited to make it to the last hole in golf?
They love the final fore.
Sex is like basketball. You dribble a little before you shoot.
Why did the coach kick Cinderella off the basketball team? Because she kept running away from the ball!
Why are babies good at basketball?
Because they’re always dribbling!
Why did the elephants stampede the basketball court?
They wanted to play for the chargers.
Why is cupid bad at basketball?
When he shoots, someone else scores.
Why is the basketball arena always hot often after games?
Because all the fans have left.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
A basketball player walks into a strip club: Hi I heard I could bounce some balls here?
What would you get if you crossed a basketball with a newborn snake?
A bouncing baby boa.
Two basketball teams play a game. The home team wins, but not a single man from either team scored a basket. How could this be?
It was a women’s basketball team!
What’s the difference between a French woman and a basketball team?
A basketball team actually showers after 4 periods.
My dad was an organ player at basketball games. One time something got stuck on the organ and it made such a loud sound he sadly died. The death was listed as “organ failure”.
Want to play basketball? If you’re the Bulls, I’m definitely the Heat!
What’s the difference between being in prison and playing on a basketball team?
On a basketball team, your guards won’t leave you hanging.
Basketball Jokes for Kids
Sometimes, kids can be more basketball enthusiasts than adults and which shows that this fan base will be growing a lot in future times. Here are a few basketball jokes for kids that would make them giggle and will give them a little insight into the game too. Enjoy!
If a basketball team was chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
Five after nine.
Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?
Because they’re extinct!
What type of cheese do basketball players eat?
Swish cheese!
What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
A tall tale.
Why violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Which animal is best at basketball?
A score-pion!
What policy means that ant schools are forced to expel their most promising basketball players?
Zero taller-ants.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season. Apparently they never take any shots.
What is an easter bunny’s favorite sport?
Basket – ball.
Told my daughter basketball season was postponed because of the virus…
She said “they should ban baseball instead”. Asked her why?
And she goes “wasn’t this all caused by bats?”
Why are cats so bad as basketball?
They shoot too many hair balls.
Basketball Jokes and Riddles
Riddles and jokes can be an entertaining way to fritter away the time on an off-game day. Here are a few basketball riddles and jokes to help you distract your mind from all the game stress and backlog.
The blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court…
The game would be canceled.
Why do the UCLA basketball have to drink their coffee black?
Because KAREEM has graduated.
Did you hear about the basketball player who tried to shoot hoops on a hockey rink?
Scottie Slippen.
What do the stock market and Knicks season ticket holders have in common?
They both get negative returns.
What do you call a pig who never passes the basketball?
A ball hog.
What does prostate cancer patient have in common with a basketball player?
They both dribble.
Why didn’t the nose like basketball?
They never got picked for the team!
Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan?
Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought she stopped aging.
What’s the difference between Basketball players and Soccer players?
Basketball players get actual injuries.
Why did the basketball player go to jail?
Because he shot the ball.
Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together?
He shoots, he scores.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower then what does the Division I college basketball player come on?
The scholar ships.
A team of black inmates play basketball against a team of white inmates in prison. The black inmates win. Why?
Home court advantage.
What do you call a basketball player who smells really good?
Kevin Deodurant.
Fans never fall asleep at our games, because they’re afraid they might get hit by a pass..
Why is the Westminister Dog Show held at Madison Square Garden?
Fans wanted to see someone other than the Knicks roll over and play dead there.
How do you keep a Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard?
Put up a basketball net.
Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.
He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.
Final Thoughts on Basketball Jokes
Basketball, being the most popular game in the world, has a lot of basketball jokes associated with it. These hilarious, puny, witty, and one-liner basketball jokes can always be a source of good laughter.
For this reason, we have managed to gather an amazing collection of funny basketball jokes that you cannot find anywhere, except this hub. Simple puns, digs at the opposing squad, and witty wordplay all contribute to the hilarity.
Moreover, few of them necessitates a basic understanding of the game as well as the participation of some top players, which is why these basketball jokes have sound different and unique to you.
Thus, if you are a ‘Final Four’ fan, ‘NBA championship’ lover, a coach, parent, or player, we bet that you cannot afford to miss the above basketball NBA jokes to enjoy a chuckle over!
And now, that you are here reading this, we are glad that you have made it to the end. Don’t forget to share these puns with your basketball buddies and brace yourself for some hilarious responses.
