151 Funny Baseball Jokes That Will Make You Laugh
We’re going to offer one of the greatest collections of baseball jokes with you in this blog. Baseball is a major sport in a variety of nations. This competitive sport has always consisted of two teams.
Each squad has nine players. During the play, each team takes a turn at bat while the opposing team fields. The victor of the game is the team that scores the most runs.
Baseball is a wonderful game, but even the most ardent fan might become bored after the fifth inning of no scoring. During America’s favorite activity, you sometimes have to find a way to kill time.
When you’re waiting for the much-needed 7th innings stretch to eventually see some excitement on the field, pass the time with these baseball jokes, puns, one-liners, and riddles.
Let us now take you through the funny baseball jokes we have collected for you.
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Table of Contents
Best Baseball Jokes
Let’s start with some of the best baseball jokes. You’ll hit a home run with these amusing baseball jokes we’ve compiled for you.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later!
Why did the baseball player shut down his website?
Because he wasn’t getting any hits.
Q: What is one of the rules in zebra baseball?
A: Three stripes and you’re out.
Why did the coach of the baseball team bring strings in the game?
He got it so that he could tie the score!
Q: What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?
A: The swings.
What Position does the Kool-Aid man play?
Relief pitcher
Q: Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?
A: Oops – You just missed it.
Why do RV mechanics make good baseball players?
Because they know how to make a home run.
Why was the chicken asked to leave the ground during the finals of the league?
He was ejected on charges of excessive fowl language!
Q: Where did the baseball player wash his socks?
A: In the bleachers.
Where do catchers sit at lunch?
Behind the plate.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pitcher with the Invisible Man?
A: Pitching like no one has ever seen.
Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place to be?
It’s full of fans.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?
Forget it. It’s way over your head.
Which comic Superhero is a pro at playing baseball?
Batman!
Q: What is harder to catch the faster you run?
A: Your breath!
Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew that once he did that, the game would be all wrapped up.
What are the rules for zebra baseball?
Three stripes and you’re out.
What famous Greek might have invented baseball?
Homer.
I kept wondering why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why didn’t Robin choose a career as a baseball player?
He forgot to buy a bat, man.
Funny Baseball Jokes
Everyone enjoys baseball, which is why these funny baseball jokes are so popular. Scroll through the list we’ve compiled for you! Share these baseball jokes with your family and friends.
Why is it so hot at Phillies games?
Because there’s not a fan in the place.
What’s a baseball player do when his eyesight starts to fail him?
He takes a job as an umpire.
What do you call a monkey that wins the World Series?
A chimpion.
Where do you keep your mitt while driving?
In the glove compartment.
Q: Which baseball player wears the biggest cleats?
A: The one with the biggest feet!
Who’s the most famous Los Angeles Dodger?
O.J. Simpson.
Q: What is it called when a dinosaur gets a homerun?
A: A dino-score.
How many baseball coaches are required if you want to change a lightbulb? Zero.
Because everyone will be busy quarreling about the last call of the game!
What do baseball players use to bake a cake?
Oven mitts, bundt pans and batter.
Something to ponder:
“Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”
Q: Who is the Captain of the Pittsburgh Pirates?
A: Captain Hook!
What caused the sausage to retire from baseball?
He became fed up with being the wurst member of the team.
Did you hear the joke about the baseball?
It will leave you in stitches!
Q: Why shouldn’t you play baseball in the jungle?
A: There are too many cheetahs!
What do you end up with if you cross a baseball player with a monster?
You usually get a double header!
What did the hand say to the baseball?
You’re such a catch.
What do you call 40 millionaires sitting around watching the World Series?
The New York Yankees!
Hilarious Baseball Jokes
We’ve compiled the most hilarious baseball jokes here, so put your worries away and enjoy the jokes. Regardless of how many curveballs life throws at you, read these jokes and maintain a grin on your face!
Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?
If he raised them both, he’d fall down.
Why did the baseball team banish the skeleton from their team?
Because everyone knew that he didn’t have his heart in the team!
Q: What are lumberjack baseball players really good at?
A: Being the cut-off man.
Q: Why did the baseball coach bring a traffic light to the game?
A: To send signals.
Why do baseball players often have a side job as a playback singer?
Because they are known to hit very high pitches!
Q: Which rock band do outfielders like to listen to?
A: The Black Crow-Hops.
What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.
Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team?
To add a little team spirit.
Q: What do you get when you cross a tree with a baseball player?
A: Babe Root.
Q: What type of baseball do they play in England?
A: Tea Ball.
Which baseball player holds water?
The pitcher
Why are baseball games at night?
The bats sleep during the day.
Q: Why do pitchers like to eat at White Castle?
A: They love the sliders. (slider is a small burger)
Q: Why did the sliding shorts go to so many sporting events?
A: It was an athletic supporter.
How can you differentiate between an umpire and a pickpocket?
The former watches the steals while the latter steals watches!
Knock Knock Baseball Jokes
With these baseball knock knock jokes, you’ll be able to break even the toughest baseball fans. You may remember these and personalize them in your own manner to make them appear unique and special.
Knock Knock
Who’s out there?
Meow.
Who is this Meow?
Please, take meow to a baseball game.
Knock Knock
Who is it out there?
Uriah
Who is Uriah?
Keep Uriah on the ball.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Les.
Who is Les?
Let’s go and play baseball.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tess me.
Tess me who?
Tess me the baseball!
Knock! Knock!
Who is it out there?
Phillip
Who Phillip?
Let’s Phillip the bases.
Knock, Knock
Who’s out there?
Dozen.
Who is Dozen?
Dozen anyone here play baseball?
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Bass.
Bass who?
Bass-ball is my favorite sport.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Wanda.
Who is Wanda?
Wanda buy a new baseball bat?
Knock Knock
Who is it out there?
Everybody
Who is Everybody?
Everybody is playing baseball.
Knock knock!
Who there?
Abase.
Who is this Abase?
Abase ball hit me on my mouf so I talk dis way.
Baseball Jokes One Liners
Do you want to make some jokes? Check out the baseball one-liners and baseball puns you’ve accumulated and share them with your buddies.
Manager: Our new infielder cost $10 million. I call him our “Wonder Player.” … Every time he plays, I wonder why I bothered to get him.
Two guys are walking down a street in hell when it begins to snow. One guy looks up at it and says, “Well, it finally happened. The Cubs just won the World Series.”
There once was a pitcher so bad, the crowd started singing Take Him Out of The Ball Game!
I like baseball the most. It is just a batter game.
Golf is harder than baseball… in golf you have to play your foul balls.
Do not ever dare to hit the umpire. The Umpire strikes back.
Did you hear Ted Danson is the spokesperson for May Day…? Of course, he played Sam “May Day” Malone in the sitcom Cheers.
Dirty Baseball Jokes
To begin your next session, entertain your league participants with these dirty baseball jokes. Here are some nasty baseball jokes that are suitable for all ages.
Are we in the bullpen?
Cuz, you’re warming me up.
Are you Anthony Recker?
because I just wanna let you pull my dinger
Are you in the on-deck circle?
Cuz you’re up next (to date me).
Babe, I didn’t forget about you, how about if I call you up this September?
Hey babe, now that the season’s over,
let’s go back to my place and watch the highlight film
Hey girl, I’ve been warming up this bench for you MY WHOLE LIFE.
Babe, there’s a few tough road series coming up,
but if we can make it through them, I’ll know it’s real.
Baseball players only wear one glove so they can leave the other hand free to hold girls like you.
Hey girl. do you have a club option?
Because my interest in you is mutual.
I got a private conference in my hotel room at the winter meetings, come on up if you wanna look at my trade package
Good Baseball Jokes
The following list contains good baseball jokes, hilarious anecdotes, puns, turn of phrases, play on players, and other sorts of comedy relating to practically every facet of baseball.
Q: What do baseball players put their food on?
A: Home plates.
The pitcher really had a good control today…
Didn’t miss a bat for three innings!
I saw a giant mouse so I tried killing it with a baseball bat
So now I have a lifetime ban from Disneyland
Q: Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd base, or from 2nd base to 3rd base?
A: 2nd to 3rd because there is a short stop in the middle.
The term catcher is politically incorrect.
I prefer wide pitch tamer.
What’s the difference between a baby and a royal’s fan?
The boy stops whining after a while.
Why does the baseball player love taking his child to the park every afternoon?
Because he likes to visit the swings!
Why are club fans bad in bed?
They come up short and they finish early.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
The pitcher kept throwing screwballs.
If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?
Five after nine. (9:05)
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
Have you ever seen a line drive?
No, but I have seen a baseball park!
How many Odors does it take to jerk off a minor?
One to jerk him off and another to punch Jose Bautista in the face.
Why couldn’t the fans get soda pop at the double header?
Because the home team lost the opener.
Which baseball manager was arrested for arson as a teenager and retains his jailhouse nickname to this day?
Sparky Anderson
How do you determine the age of Yankees fans?
Cut them open and count the rings.
Two baseball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team has touched a base. How can this be?
The teams were all-women.
Why did the baseball player bring a pacifier to the game?
He wanted to play like the Babe.
In which league do coal and ironworkers play baseball?
They usually play in the miner leagues!
What did the coach tell the rookie player about his pitching style?
It’s simply foul!
Which baseball players is a fruitarian?
Darryl Strawberry
Baseball Jokes for Adults
Baseball is a sport that adults are really passionate about. With such commitment comes incredibly tense periods, and you need something to ease your nerves in these situations. Here are some funny baseball jokes for adults that will cheer you up.
Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC?
Yankee Stadium.
Which baseball player absolutely loved the ovens and the fireplaces?
Mr. Mickey Mantle!
A man leaves home, makes three left turns and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him.
Who are they?
They’re the catcher and umpire.
Which baseball player is known for making the best flapjacks?
Obviously, the batter!
Why did the Braves hire a baker?
They needed a new batter.
Which insect hits the maximum of home runs in the jungle baseball world series league?
A fly swatter!
Why are all the baseball umpires known for having stout figures?
Because their main job is to clean all the plates!
What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?
The fence.
Which job does a baseball player take when his eyesight starts to get bad?
He becomes an umpire!
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?
One steals watches and one watches steals.
What do pitchers usually eat before a baseball game?
They usually have a couple of sliders!
When should baseball players wear armor?
When they’re playing knight games.
Did you hear? Detroit is building a new stadium at an undisclosed location.
They’re keeping it a secret because they’re afraid the Tigers might find out and try to play there.
Why did the captain of the pirate’s baseball team hire a baseball player?
So that he could have a chest protector!
Why was the retired baseball player hired by the multinational sales and marketing company?
Because they knew that he could always pitch good sales!
Baseball Jokes for Kids
Here are some funny baseball jokes for kids. Simply write them down or print them out and place one in your child’s lunchbox. When your kid goes to eat their lunch, they will discover the amusing present, which will provide them with a nice lunchtime giggle.
With what kind of bats does a male cow play baseball?
They play with bullpens!
Why did the baseball batter visit the library for just five minutes in the middle of the game?
Because it was a shortstop!
I love the fall. It gives me a chance to sit at home and watch the World Series.
Just like the Dodgers.
For what reason was Cinderella thrown out from the famous baseball team?
She had to be kicked off the team as she always ran away from the ball.
How do baseball players keep in touch?
They touch base every once in a while.
Which movie of the Star Wars series is an absolute favorite of all baseball players?
‘Star Wars: The Umpire Strikes Back!’
What’s the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot’s father?
One’s a pop fly. The other’s a fly pop.
How are baseball players known to keep in touch with one another?
They simply touch bases once in a while!
Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
She ran away from the ball.
Why wasn’t the dog allowed to take part in the jungle’s baseball team?
Because the dog was a boxer!
Which utensils does a baseball player use when he bakes cakes for his family?
He uses a batter, oven mitts, and most definitely a bunt pan!
Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?
Someone stole second base.
Why did the champion baseball team hire a bunch of lumberjacks for their team?
Because they are experts in being the put-off man!
Why are frogs’ good baseball players?
Because they’re great at catching flies.
Where does the baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?
New Jersey.
How will you differentiate between the father of larvae and a baseball that has been hit high?
The former is a fly pop while the latter is a pop fly!
A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit him.
Why did a squadron of police storm inside the baseball stadium in the middle of a game?
Because they received complaints of someone constantly stealing bases!
Did you hear the one about the fast pitch?
Never mind. You just missed it.
Why are centipedes not allowed to play on bug baseball teams?
Because it takes too long to put their cleats on.
Baseball Jokes and Riddles
Do you know what those adverts do? They not only allow the players time to recover, but they also save us from suffering a heart attack since we know that sometimes things don’t go your way, and you know that if your group oriented more, they might win this game. Here are some baseball riddles and jokes for you to have fun.
How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.
Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?
In a little league.
What do you call a groundhog that plays basketball?
A ball hog.
Which Major League baseball team does Avogadro support?
the Molewaukee Brewers.
What happens when Batman is late to play baseball with Robin?
There is a Wayne delay!
Do you know who is considered the corniest professional base player of all time?
Ty Cobb.
Why aren’t pizza chefs allowed to play baseball?
They are always trying to steal a basil!
What sport do people who listen to loud, deep music from their stereo play?
BASS Ball!
Why aren’t burgers too good at basketball?
Too many turnovers!
Why did the Christmas tree get in trouble with the umpire?
Too much pine tar on his bat.
Why do baseball pitchers stay away from caves?
They don’t like bats.
What does Frosty the Snowman wear on his head when he plays baseball?
An ice cap.
Why do hamburgers make good baseball players?
They’re great at the plate!
What do baseball pitchers and TSA agents have in common?
Fireworks go off in the sky if they do their job incorrectly.
Why didn’t the Confederate soldier want to go to the baseball game?
He heard the Yankees were playing.
Final Thoughts on Baseball Jokes
Consider a world devoid of baseball and baseball jokes. What is life without America’s pastime and a good laugh? That’s not the kind of thing we’d want to be a part of.
That’s why we’ve compiled the definitive list of the funniest baseball jokes of all time. Whether it’s the thick of the regular season or the middle of winter, one thing is certain to keep you laughing: baseball jokes!
Whether you’re a fan of the game or not, there are plenty of jokes out there for everyone. Sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh. Hilarious jokes, knock knock jokes, and one-liners.
We combed the Internet for the finest jokes about baseball we could find and assembled them all for your reading enjoyment. We hope you enjoy them all and find them amusing.
