151 Hilarious Alabama Jokes to Fresh Your Mind
Located in the south of the U.S, Alabama is an interesting state that will pique your interest even more after hearing our set of Alabama jokes that we have compiled along the way. We bet these jokes are going to stay with you for a long time.
This state is famous for many things like aerospace, their peanuts, snails, yes you heard me right and much more and you are going to get all this information through our different jokes about Alabama here.
You are definitely going to plan your trip to Alabama soon this summer after hearing these ground-shaking Alabama jokes that will not only heighten your interest in this fabulous tourist destination but also leave you smiling whenever you remember them afterwards.
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Table of Contents
Best Alabama Jokes
If you are a native of Alabama then you must be well aware of the alluring pull that it holds for everyone out there. Keeping that in mind, we have compiled a bunch of the best Alabama jokes that will keep you on the edge of your chairs with uncontrollable laughter.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?
Everyone has the same DNA.
I don’t really get all the jokes here about Alabama.
But I can tell they’re somewhat related.
What do geology and Alabama have in common?
Relative dating.
A nuclear bomb was dropped on Alabama
One family was killed.
What do you call someone from Alabama stuck in a sandwich?
Inbread.
Alabama is so progressive that…
The women don’t even change their last names when they get married.
There is no incest in Alabama! You can ask my dad, brother, uncle, husband, mother, sister, or aunt!
They are both in the living room right now.
An Alabama man kills his wife, sister, mother, niece, daughter, and aunt.
How many people die?
Did you hear that the governor’s mansion in Alabama burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.
Alabama has changed its drinking age to 28
Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school.
What’s Alabama’s favorite vegetable?
Pumpkin.
Why is reverse cowgirl not allowed in Alabama?
Because you never turn your back on family.
Alabama, the land of 5 million people…
…and 4 last names.
Say what you want about Alabama…
They know how to put the “kin” in “kinky”.
I played Sweet Home Alabama to my sister since I learned the guitar recently.
Nothing happened but our kids loved it.
The toothbrush had to have been invented in Alabama.
Because if it were invented anywhere else it would be called a teethbrush.
What do you call Onlyfans in Alabama?
OnlyFams.
Why are murders so difficult to solve in Alabama?
All the DNA matches and there are no dental records.
Why is stuffed crust from Alabama?
Because the cheese is in-bread.
Why do people from Alabama love sandwiches?
They like things that are inbread.
How do you give a person from Alabama a circumcision?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What is the most popular dating app in Alabama?
23andMe.
A new dating website has been taking Alabama by storm…
It’s pretty uncommon in other places, so you may have heard of it. It’s called OnlyFams.
Funny Alabama Jokes
You will be amazed to know that Alabama is world famous for being the one to invent the first ever space rocket that took on the moon in 1969. Now down below you have some funny Alabama jokes that will literally take you to another level of humour soaring into the sky.
What do your friends say when you get rejected by your sister from Alabama?
Damn bro you got chromo-zoned.
How do you hook up online if you live in Alabama?
Ancestry.cօm.
Why don’t people from Alabama have ancestors in their linniage?
Because they have Incestors.
How do we know the tooth brush was invented in Alabama?
If it was invented anywhere else it would be called the “teeth brush.”
What is an Alabama family’s favorite game?
Spin the bottle!
What is Alabama’s most popular video game?
Super Smash Brothers.
What do they call it in Alabama when you wake up and eat out your sister?
Breakfast inbred.
Did you hear the news today? Alabama is turning blue!
Many Alabamians have trouble breathing because of Covid it seems.
In Alabama, they’re not worried about OnlyFans restricting adult content
They use OnlyFams.
What is 20ft long and has 5 teeth?
The funnel cake line at the Alabama state fair.
I sadly just broke up with my girlfriend in Alabama.
Despite how heartbreaking it was, she put her hand on mine and assured me that we can still be cousins.
What are the preferred pronouns in Alabama?
He/Haw.
Which Greek character is from Alabama?
Oedipus.
What do farmers do in Alabama?
Pump kin.
Why can’t people from Alabama have any viable offspring?
They’re all relatively screwed.
Homeschooling cancelled in Alabama.
Too many students sleeping with their teachers.
Hilarious Alabama Jokes
One could never bring oneself to think that snails could be the ones to bring fame and popularity to a country but yes, Alabama is literally famous for its different species of snail region. Let us make you crack up with these hilarious Alabama jokes that will make you teary-eyed with laughter.
If humans were categorized like dogs, people from Alabama would be…
The pure breds.
Why does Alabama love the month of October?
Because of the get to pumpkin.
2020 has been difficult down here in Alabama.
2019 was tough too though. I lost a dad and uncle. I sure do miss him.
Solving a crime in Alabama must be so hard.
Everyone has the same damn DNA.
My friend from Alabama introduced me to his wife and cousin.
Her name is Susan.
What’s a really good silver lining about getting a Divorce in Alabama?
When it’s all said and done, you are still brother and sister.
About yesterday’s Alabama vs. Auburn game…
I feel bad for all the Alabama fans who drove their houses to the game yesterday.
What should you dress as for Halloween to scare the daylights out of an Alabama football fan?
A goal post.
What should you do if you find three Alabama fans buried up to their necks in cement?
Get more cement.
What’s the difference between an Alabama Crimson Tide fan and a carp?
One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
What do you get when you put the girlfriends of a dozen Alabama Crimson Tide fans in one room?
A full set of teeth!
How do you break an Auburn fan’s finger?
Punch him in the nose.
Subway is opening a sandwich-making college in Alabama.
Everyone there is already great at making things inbred.
Did you hear about the new website most popular with Alabama THOTs?
Only Fam.
TIL gluten comes from Alabama.
Yea, it’s always inbread.
All these jokes about Alabama but no one acknowledges their contributions, like inventing the toothbrush
At least I think it was Alabama. Anywhere else they’d have called it a teethbrush.
When did the father from Alabama know his son was maturing?
One day his son just started coming into his own.
Silly Alabama Jokes
It is not wrong to be happy and jolly or even have a frequent laugh at the little silly things that life throws at us and keep oneself fresh and healthy. Let us bring more giggles into your life with our silly Alabama jokes so you have more frequent chortles.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order, please?
A 5th grader from Alabama and a 5th grader from New York City got into a fight. Who won?
The 5th grader from Alabama, because he’s 18 years old.
I heard someone say “Fcuk the speed limit” in Alabama
As a Physics student, I realized that speed is relative.
How People In Alabama Pray
“In God We Trust In Family We Thrust”
-Sweet Home Alabama
“Amen”
What do they call an extra-large bottle of lube in Alabama?
Family size.
Alabama has reported more deaths than births for the first time in it’s history
Makes sense considering family get togethers have been restricted
What do you call 2 brothers from alabama
Super smash bros
Alabama, the land of 5 million people…
…and 4 last names.
Say what you want about Alabama…
They know how to put the “kin” in “kinky”
Alabama college kid visiting Boston
So this Alabama Crimson Tide football player is visiting Boston. He’s at a party and sees this pretty blonde girl, wants to chat her up.
Goes over and says “What college do you go to?” She’s not impressed by his down south accent and general rural hick ways, so she says “Yale.” and looks away.
He leans over to her ear and says “WHAT COLLEGE DOES YOU GO TO?”
What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Crimson Tide fan?
The bucket.
Why does the Alabama Crimson Tide eat cereal straight from the box?
They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
What’s the difference between Alabama Crimson Tide cheerleaders and The Titanic?
Only 1,000 went down on The Titanic.
Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Crimson Tide games anymore?
The student who knew the recipe graduated.
What do Crimson Tide cheerleaders and Crimson Tide quarterbacks have in common?
They’re always on their backs.
Did you hear about the Alabama Crimson Tide fan who tried to blow up the opponents’ team bus?
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
Why do Alabama Crimson Tide women wear bibs?
To keep the chew off their dresses.
What has 3 teeth and 100 legs?
An unemployment line in Tennessee.
If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced…
Are they still brother and sister?
What did Tennessee do?
The same thing Arkensaw.
If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky…
… is she still your sister?
Are you from Tennessee?
Because you look like an inbred redneck.
Hey, girl are you from Tennessee?
Because I was wondering if you’d still be interested in me if I wasn’t your cousin.
I had a great time watching “The World’s Largest Outdoor Family Reunion” yesterday.
I guess most people just call it Alabama vs Auburn game.
A boy is walking down an old highway when a man in his pickup asks what he’s doing.
The boy replies “I’m running away from my momma.”
The man asks “Why would you do that?” “She beats me sir!”, the boy responded.
“Well, would you like me to take you to your dad’s house?” “Oh no, sir. He beats me too.”
He asks “So where are you going?” The boy said “Well I’m headed down to Auburn. I heard
They don’t beat anybody there!”
Alabama Jokes One Liners
Nothing could be more perfect that a couple of fits of laughter on a busy day that will be a brainstorming effect on your mind. Down below we guarantee the heartiest bursts of laughter with some of our best collection of Alabama jokes and one-liners.
How does a baker in Alabama describe his occupation?
“I’m in bread.”
What do you call a DNA kit for Alabama residents
Incestry DNA.
What do you call a gay couple from Alabama?
Super Smash Bros.
I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.
As you can imagine, he wasn’t in a very good state.
There’s a town named Phenix in Alabama – they couldn’t afford to pay for another vowel.
Turns out they don’t accept I O U’s.
I’m from Alabama and I don’t appreciate all the jokes Reddit makes about my home state. I told my dad, my uncle, and my grandpa about it.
When he found out he was madder than hell.
What gets four As and a B but still fails in schooling?
ALABAMA.
Clean Alabama Jokes
Have you ever experienced the joy and thrill of sitting on the shores of Alabama, sipping a cocktail with your friends and family and going through some of our best nerve-racking clean Alabama jokes?
Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race.
He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
Alabama leads the nation in fewest covid related deaths.
They have been marking uncles, fathers, and brothers as the same person when they die.
What’s something that everyone in Alabama has in common?
DNA.
What did the average University of Alabama student get on their SAT test?
Drool.
Did you hear the library at the University of Alabama burned down this morning?
All three books were destroyed.
One of them wasn’t even colored in yet.
What’s the mating call for a University of Alabama student?
“I’m soo ddrrrruunnkk!”
Winged horses are illegal in most US states.
But in Alabama, it’s perfectly fine to peg-a-sis.
How do they sing Linkin Park in Alabama?
Craaaaaaaaawling in my kin
I played “Sweet Home Alabama” to my sister since I learned the guitar recently
Nothing happened.
But our kids loved it.
If humans were categorized like dogs, people from Alabama would be…
The pure breds
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless.”
With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!” As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, “Yes! Yes! I won! I won!” She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, “What did she roll?” The other answers, “I don’t know, I thought you were watching.”
Why are crimes so hard to solve in Alabama?
Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches
A man from Alabama goes out to dinner…
He takes his wife, mother, aunt, grandmother, sister and niece.
They walk in and they walk up to the hostess station.
The hostess goes, “Hi, y’all. Will it just be the two of you tonight?”
Alabama boy goes to Boston for an interview
He had gone to the University of Alabama on a football scholarship and maybe took a few too many hits to the helmet.
He stopped in a coffee shop before heading to the interview and saw a pretty girl sitting at a table with a few college books. He got his drink and approached her.
In a thick Southern drawl he asked, “Where do you go to school at?”
Wanting to get rid of him as as possible, she simply replied, “Yale.”
He took a deep breath, rolled his eyes a bit, and hollered, “WHERE DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL AT?”
Dirty Alabama Jokes
Playing on the coast of the Alabama shores and soaking up some sunlight is one of the most exhilarating experiences of life. Here we are going to bring your enjoyment to its highest with our collection of dirty Alabama jokes.
How can ya tell a girl in Alabama is still a virgin?
She can out run her brother.
Why are people from Alabama such generous lovers?
Because family always cums first.
An Alabama girl sees her mother showering
An Alabama girl sees her mother showering. She sees her tits and asks: “Mom, what is that on your chest?”
The mother says: “Nothing important sweetie, you’ll get them too when you are older!”
Later in the day, she sees her father showering. She sees her dad’s dick and asks: “What’s that between your legs, dad?”
The father says: “I can’t tell you right now!”
The girl asks: “Will I get it when I’m older?”
The father replies: “You can get it now if you stay quiet.”
What’s the SFW substitute for “motherfucker” in Alabama?
Uncle.
What’s the correct term to describe an Alabama Girl that can run faster than her brothers?
Virgin.
Why wasn’t Jesus born in Alabama?
They couldn’t come up with three wise men and a virgin.
A young kid from Alabama moves to New York
He goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.
He sits down, greets the manager and shakes his hand.
The manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid replies, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Alabama”
They talk and get acquainted and the manager likes him so he gave him the job.
“You start tomorrow. I’ll come by after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough, but he pulled through it. After the store was locked, the manager came down just like he said.
“How many customers bought something from you today?”
The kid replies, “One.”
The boss glares at him and shouts, “Just one!? Our sales people average 20-30 customers per day!” .. “How much was the sale for!?”
The kid replies “$121,237.65”
The boss now shocked, “What in the hell did you sell!?”
The kids says, “Well first I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then a new fishing rod. So I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he needs a good boat, we went down to that department, and he got a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull the boat so I took him to the automotive department and sold him a truck.
The boss furrowing his brow said, “A guy came here to buy a fishhook and you sold him a boat and a truck???”
The kid replied, “No, the guy came here to buy tampons for his wife and I said ‘dude your weekend sounds shot, you should go fishing’.
What do you call perspiration from sex in Alabama?
Relative humidity.
NSFW An Alabama girl comes home…
An Alabama girl comes home from college after dropping out. Her dad answers the door and asks her, “what the hell are you doing here?” She answers that she dropped out of college and wants to become a prostitute, and needs a place to stay. He shouts, “No way in hell are you becoming a prostitute! That’s not how I raised you! You can stay in your old room but you MAY NOT become a prostitute!”
They proceed to argue back and forth and back and forth, louder and louder until even the neighbors could hear! Eventually, she storms past him, up the stairs, into her old room, and then slams the door shut and locks it.
She sighs in despair, and turns around, only to see her brother lying naked on her bed. Before she could say anything, he asks, “is there a family discount?”
This is my first post on r/Jokes! Hope you liked it!
Alabama Jokes about Family
Its summer time! Let’s plan some vacations to the coasts of Alabama. Prep up your trip with something to read along the journey. Nothing is more suitable than a compilation of Alabama jokes about family that you read along the road and makes this vacation the most memorable for you and your family.
Why don’t people from Alabama have family trees?
Because it’s just one long branch.
Alabama has reported more deaths than births for the first time in its history.
Makes sense considering family get-togethers have been restricted.
Birth rates in Alabama have declined due to COVID19…
…restrictions prohibiting family gatherings.
My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident.
He really loved that woman.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama?
Because you don’t turn your back on family.
What is a double date called in Alabama?
A family reunion.
Why did the Alabama girl take the tide pod challenge?
To wash her family’s extra large load.
Why are family trees not used in Alabama?
Because they end up being more like a family tumbleweed.
Why are Only Fans so cheap in Alabama?
Family discount.
Say what you will about “Sweet Home Alabama”
At least it’s family-friendly.
Why is Alabama college football so strong?
Because they are all one big family.
What do the Auburn Tigers and Billy Graham have in common?
They both can make 75,000 people stand up and yell ‘Jesus Christ’.
What do Olive Garden and brothels in Alabama have in common?
They both use the slogan “When you’re here, you’re family”.
How do you know if a hooker is from Alabama?
She offers friends and family discounts.
Alabama Jokes about Football
Having the privilege of being able to be born and raised in the state of Alabama, it is most important to enjoy a good football match with your friends. Not everyone is so blessed, we and our team here are able to bring you some awesome Alabama jokes about football to rock you off your chairs with laughter.
What does AUBURN actually stand for?
“Alabama Usually Beats Us Round November”
How do you get an Alabama football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What do you say to an Auburn player dressed in a three-piece suit?
Will the defendant please rise?
What do you get when you cross an Auburn football player with a groundhog?
Six more weeks of bad football.
An Alabama linebacker, safety, and running back are all together in a car. Who’s driving?
A police officer.
What’s the difference between the Auburn football team and a dollar?
You can get four quarters out of the dollar.
Did you hear the Auburn library burned down?
The saddest part is that half the books weren’t even colored in yet.
What’s the difference between an Auburn cheerleader and a catfish?
One stinks and has whiskers; the other goes great with hush puppies.
Alabama Jokes and Puns
We hope you also live with peanuts like everyone else around the world. Alabama here is known for its highest production of peanuts in the world. So, let’s get on the couch, grab a bowl of peanuts and read our best collection of Alabama jokes and puns.
What’s an Alabama person’s favorite bread?
Inbread.
Why do people from Alabama always share their pants with their siblings?
To keep the best jeans within the family.
Why is Alabama the smartest state in the country?
It has more A’s than B’s.
The Alabama dad is like.
Hi cumming, I’m a dad.
Alabama Starbucks has released a new drink this month.
Pump Kin Latte.
Two people are having sex in Alabama and they begin to sweat. What is the weather report?
Relative humidity.
I was once so drunk I went from New York to Alabama,
I guess you could say I wasn’t in the best of states.
I insist that the one-sided wall was invented somewhere in Alabama…
I know it was Mobial.
If a guy from Alabama starts dating his brother, is it called…
Roll Pride?
Mike Tyson went to visit his backwoods Alabama family.
He saw all of his kith’n kin!
What happens when a person from Alabama drops his laundry detergent on a hill?
Roll Tide.
Final Thoughts on Alabama Jokes
Alabama is a state rich with its cultural and traditional heritage, we here bring you some mind-boggling Alabama jokes to complement its true status. These hilarious jokes will not only have you rolling on the floor with laughter but also craving for more long after it has ended.
There is simply no end to the attributes that are bestowed on this particular region. Be it the peanut production, aerospace headquarters, its snail population (We know how it sounds but it is as it is) or the shores.
There is simply no denying the fact that if you add a couple of jokes about Alabama to the mix; your visit is going to be the most heartwarming one.
If you have our compilation of Alabama jokes up your sleeves, then there is nothing that will stop you from enjoying your trip to your favorite holiday destination. We hope you liked reading through our collection!
